(( Warzone begins inside the studios of HWC HQ...The same studio used for making the promos and interviews on Saturday. In the middle of the nearly empty set is a lone desk...behind the desk sits Eddie Danniels and Travis Best.))
Ed: I want to welcome everyone here for the redebut of Warzone!!! I'm Eddie Danniels and with me as always...like a leech on your skin... Travis Best!!
Travis: As always Eddie, it's YOUR pleasure to be cohosting MY new show with me!! Before we begin I ot a note from Mr. Lashley stating that Joey Starr WILL be the special referee for the Smackdaddy Vs. Raven match!!
Ed: Big news there!! I wonder how those two men will react to that. We have three great matches for you all, includin our main event...for the European title, Klaus Van Hammer Vs Bulldozer!!
Travis: That should be a hell of a match!! But that's not all!!! Our special guest in the studio will be non other than the greatest IC champ of all time....Jaguar!!!
Ed: I say we don't waste any time and hit the ring for our first matchup...it pits the newcommer Mr. Americana Glory Vs Real American...and Real American's future in the HWC is at stake!!
Travis: Good....maybe the do gooders will beat each other up out of the HWC!!
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(( The camera cuts to the ring and both men are already in the ring... Glory extends his hand and Real American takes it in a show of good sportsmanship. The bell rings and the men tie up....Glory wins the test of strength and hurls Real American towards the ropes. American bounces back but gets hit with a samoan drop!! Glory then hits the ropes for a legdrop, but American moved out of the way. American took the advantage for a few minutes by working on the arm of his patriot counterpart, applying some tough armbars on the big man. But Real American made a mistake by trying a flying cross bodyblock on the big guy...who turned it around for a massive powerslam. Ten Glory shocked us all by hitting the ropes and hitting the Freedom Splash on a prone Real American. A 1..2..3.. later and Glory had his first win and Real American lost his chance to be in the HWC. In another display of good sportsmanship, Gloory helped up the fallen Real American and Raised his hand for the cheers of the crowd...The two men hugged and headed towards the back to a thunderous applause.))
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Ed: What a match!!! These two men put on a show!!!
Travis: What a puppet show?? God that was the sickest display I've ever seen!!
Ed: You just can't stand to see actual wrestling do you??
Travis: I'm sorry...but that crap bores me. What i want to see is tables..blood....fire!!!!
Ed: You are so sick.... Glory and Real American showded themselves to be tough guys.
Travis: You see the way they hugged?? I bet those two are making out in the locker room as we speak!!
Ed: (head in hands) Let's just get to Bruno Von Gotch Jr. whose on the set of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire.
Travis: (singing) Glory and American...sitting in a tree...f..u..c..
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On the set of “Who Wants to be a Millionaire?”. We see an overhead view of the two chairs but we can not make out who is in them just yet. The lighting effects start and they play the intense music as we move down to reveal Bruno Von Gotch Junior sitting in the hot seat across from Regis Philbin. Bruno sips out of a glass of water and then sets it back down as sweat beads on his head.
Regis: Going for one thousand dollars with only one lifeline left. Of course if you get this one you can’t leave with less than a thousand. Here’s the question.
The question and answers come up on the screen as he reads them.
Regis: In which of the following beverages would you find the highest
percentage of alcohol? Is it A: Wine, B: Beer, C: Malt Liquor, or D: Tang?
Bruno laughs a little too hard at the stupid joke of putting tang on the list.
Regis: This should be right up your alley.
Bruno Jr: Actually I’m not much of a drinker.
Regis looks at him as if to say, “What a wus.”
Regis: Well you still have the phone a friend.
Bruno Jr: Yes, and I am going to use it.
Regis: Who are you going to call?
Bruno Jr: I would like to call my father, Bruno Von gotch Senior.
Regis: Ok, I’m assuming you think he knows more about this sort of thing than you do. We’ll have our friends from AT&T get your dad on the line.
We again see a more distant shot of the two of them in their chairs. We hear a phone ring twice before Bruno Senior answers.
Bruno Sr. (O.S.): Hello?
His voice is deeper than usual and he talks slowly.
Regis: Hello Mr. Von Gotch?
Bruno Sr. (O.S.): Yeah.
Regis: Mr. Von Gotch this is Regis Philben at “Who Wants to be a
Millionaire?”.
Bruno Sr. (O.S.): Regis.
He chuckles as he says his name. Regis is confused.
Regis: Yes sir, I have your son Bruno Junior here. He’s going for a thousand dollars and he needs your help. He’s going to read you a question, the four possible answers, and then you’ll have 30 seconds to come up with the correct answer.
Bruno Sr. (O.S.): Dude, I am so f-(television edit)-ed up right now.
The profanity is bleeped out but the audience can hear it. They respond with a gasp. Bruno Jr. does not know exactly how to react but he nonetheless proceeds.
Bruno Jr: Uh dad, in which of the following beverages would you find the
highest percentage of alcohol? Is it…
Bruno Sr. (O.S.): Hey, hold on a minute.
Junior stops asking the question. He is confused and panicked. He does not know what to do.
Bruno Jr: Dad? DAD?!?!
Over the speaker, we hear the gurgling sound of water from a bong.
Bruno looks helpless as time expires on his phone call. Regis just shakes his head sympathetically.
Fade Out
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Ed: Poor Bruno there can't seem to get a break...
Travis: Did you see the way Regis looked at him??? If I was Gotch I would of kicked his ass!!
Ed: Regis is an old man!!!
Travis: No one's too old for a good old fashioned butt whoopimg!!
Ed: Anyways, we have another great matchup here as Steve Saxon goes up against the upstart Hitman....by the way Travis, I thought you was gonna have Jaguar here??
Travis: I sent the damn limo to go get him!!! Damn primmadonnas...as far as the match goes...I'll give it to Saxon because he's one of my good drinking buddies.
Ed: Always the impartial one....(shakes head)
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(( The camera goes to the ring where Hitman is waiting for his opponent. Bad to the Bone plays and Steve Saxon enters the ring after grabbing a mic at ringside. Steve Saxon is wearing a crew cut. He is wearing long black tights with flames on them.))
SS: Hitman you just stand and keep that damn mouth shut while I speak son!
((The crowd goes wild.))
SS: Tonight is the night that, A: Hitman gets his ass kicked and B Big Daddy Extreme makes his Debut!
((The crowd starts to get loud again.))
BDE: Steve Saxon is a thing of the past! Steve Saxon is my former self that was a looser a nothing! Big Daddy Extreme has it all! Good Looks, women! You name I have it!
(( Big Daddy Extreme motions over to the Hitman. ))
BDE: Big Daddy always like to say a prayer before each match so Hitman say it with me.
(( Hitman looks confused. ))
BDE: Lord prepare The Hitman here .... The Buttkicking he is about to recieve!!!!!!!!!
(( The man now known as Big Daddy Extreme then low blows The Hitman and the match began.. Saxon wasted no time in attack the newcommer, as he hit him with a barrage of lefts and rights. Saxon hit the ropes and connected with an awesome clothesline. Hitman made a brief comeback of sorts later in the match by moving out of the way when Saxon went to hit the flying elbow. Hitman wore Saxon down with a series of kicks to Saxon's leg, and even got the Sharpshooter on, but Hitman was too close to the ropes and Saxon got a hold of the ropes to break the hold. Saxon ducked a wild punch and leveled Hitman into an atomic drop. which set Hitman up to get hit with the Angle Drop...and Saxon makes the cover for the 1...2...3. Raven, Assasin, and Tikishi run out to attack Saxon. Just then KMFDM's Meglomaniac hits and out comes the Office!!! Smackdaddy and Michael Streetz hits the ring and quickly dispose of Assasin and Raven. Tikishi gets the better of both men untill Mr. Lashley comes out!!!! Lashley hits the ring and sprays mace into Tikishi's eyes!!! Lashley grabs the mic and pulls up Hitman by his hair...))
Lashley: You boys wanted to know if I'd be your tag partner....here's your answer!!!
(( Lashley punches Hitman in the face hard. Smackdaddy is kicking the maced Tikishi as Michael Streetz rolls Hitman on his stomach. Lashley spraypaints the word NO! on Hitman's back, and leave the ring....))
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Ed: I can't believe what we saw there!!!
Travis: That was GREAT!!! Highlight of the night there!!! NO ONE messes with the Office, and Devevolution X found that out!!
Ed: Well the Office sure means buisness, and we saw a brief glimspe of the Hardcore title match at Slaughter as Smackdaddy and Raven will go at it!!
Travis: I've never been a big fan of Smackdaddy's , but since he got smart and joined the Office I think he may be the best Hardcore champ ever!!!
Ed: That remains to be seen....but Smackdaddy is one of the premiere wrestlers here in the HWC...but let's go now to a promo about the HWC's "Ninth Worder of the World"...the Tiger!!
Travis: Great...I hope she's still not ragging dude...
Ed: GOD TRAVIS!! Let's just go to the promo....
Travis: What??? Just because I said...
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**Alone in a storage room The Tiger sat up in the
rafters letting her mind wanderthrew all that has
happened. She thinks back to when she first met Kidd
Rock.....
Back when she was 11, her family split up and she
moved with her dad up to Detroit. There out behind the
karate school she went to is where she first met Kidd
Rock. Two other students feeling intimidated jumped
her, hearing the commotion Kidd seemed to come from no
where evening the odds. After beating and chasing them
off, Kidd walked Tiger home so nothing else would
happen to her.
Living only a block apart is what sealed their
friendship. They went to parties together, everytime
her dad got drunk and abusive she would hide out at
his place. And she became good friends with his
friends and his brother. They became very close and
when they were 14 Kidd's brother was murdered. She was
the only thing keeping him alive and going after the
killer.
The more time passed the closer they got. But Tiger's
home life had gotten worse, knowing she couldn't stay
with her dad no longer nor live with Kidd she ran away
back to St. Louis at age 16. Her good bye to Kidd hurt
more then any beating.
Looking up from her thoughts, she knew that she
couldn't ignore her feelings for him. Questioning them
over and over in her head then she shakes them from
her mind. This was not the time, she had a match to
so, revenge to seek, and had to hide what she felt for
fear it may get in her way.
Climbing down from the rafters still clutching the
crow bar, she swore not to put it down till she found
Justice. Stepping out of the storage room she left to
go find Kidd and prepare for Tikishi.**
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Ed: Wow!!! What a look inside one of the most interesting personalities we have in the HWC!!
Travis: (crying) That was....*sniff*....so touching!!! I never knew she went though so much..*sniff*
Ed: Gosh Travis, I never seen this side of you before.
Travis: (still sniffling) And you know what??
Ed: What?
Travis: (stops crying) And you never will!!! God save the damn melodrama for friggin Oprah!!! I don't give a rat's ass about her sad sob story!!!
Ed: How can you be so insensitive??!!
Travis: Hey I've had it rough too!! When I was a teen in Nashville, I wanted a NEW BMW....do you know what I got??? I got a slightly USED one!!! I still don't talk to my parents over that shocking abuse!!
Ed: That's it...I'm out of here!!! (stands up and begins walking)
Travis: Where the Hell you think you're going?
Ed: Away from you!!!! I may have to deal with you on Slaughter, but I'll be damned if I have to listen to your bulls**t here!! (Ed storms out of the studio)
Travis: But...but...the Bulldozer Vs Klaus match is next....Ed?? Eddie?? Pal??
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((cameras cut back to the ring as Klaus is making his way down the aisle, with The euro title wrapped around his waist and Cypress lavey by his side. Bulldozer is in the ring and wastes no time in attacking Klaus before he's even in the ring!!! The men fight outside and the match is apparently on, as the ref is counting. Klaus reverses a swing and Dozer hits the steps hard. Lavey gets in a few cheap shots before ordering Klaus to toss him back in the ring. Klaus hits the ropes to give further damage but Dozer hits him with a spinebuster!!! Dozer draws in the crowds cheers and picks Klaus up for a bodyslam!! Dozer tries to hit the ropes again, but Lavey grabs Dozers foot. Dozer grabs Lavey and lays in a good punch, much to the crowd's delight. Dozer turns around though to be met with a thunderous sidekick!!! Klaus proceeded to disregard any wrestling ability by literally beating the hell out of Dozer....most of the crowd though Klaus had the win with a german suplex, but Dozer kicked out at 2. Klaus then let his frustrations get to him by almost striking the ref when using a closed fist on Dozer. Dozer saw the oppotunity and rolled up a surprised Klaus....the ref counted 1...2...3!!!! We have a new Euro Champion!!!! Bulldozer raises the belt up high, but gets hit with a massive spear from Klaus!!!! Dozer is in a heap as Klaus comes towards him, but here comes Mr. Americana Glory!!! The big man runs in and hits Klaus with several chops to the chest. Glory throws him into the ropes and hits with a big clothesline!!! Lavey pulls Klaus out and head towards the back...swearing at Glory in German. Glory helps the new European champ up and helps him to the back to thunderous cheers.
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Travis: AWWWWWWWWWWWWW....wasn't that sweet of Glory?? (makes a retching sound) I swear i can't beleive that Eddie left...the bastard!! Hey cameraman!!!
Cameraman: What??
Travis: Where the hell is Jaguar??
Cameraman: Actually I think the limo just pulled up.
Travis: Bout damn time...now that the damn show is over!!! Just forget it, I'm going home!!!
(( Travis gets up and leaves the studio....the studio lights go off.))
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(( Jaguar finally gets out of the limo that Travis sent him. He is dressed in casual workout gear and sees a stagehand nearby.))
Jaguar: Hey...how late am I for the show??
Stagehand: The shows over sir!!! And Mr. Best seemed pissed!!
Jaguar: (laughing) Oh well...at least I got a good limo ride out of it.
(( A strange man comes out from behind the limo... he walks up to Jaguar and spits in his face.))
Jaguar: BOY1!! You are looking for a hurting!!
Man: No YOU are!!! How DARE you break up one of the greatest tag teams of all time, just because you got lucky with a few singles wins.
Jaguar: Listen, I'm not called the best damn IC champ of all time for nothing!!! As for Brett, you can only carry dead weight so far before it weighs you down. That no talent piece of trash got whats coming to him.
Man: Well so are you......
(( Suddenly Brett Bruiser comes out of nowhere and hits Jaguar with a glass bottle. The two men start pounding on the now busted up Jaguar. Brett and the man we know now as Storm pull Jaguar to the top of the limo...and give him a double powerbomb on top of the LIMO!!! Travis runs out to the now destroyed limo.....))
Travis: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!!!! I NOW HAVE TO PAY FOR DAMAGES!!!!
Brett: (grabbing Travis by his collar) What me and Storm did to Jaguar was just simply....Drastic Measures!!!!
(( Brett and Storm leaves as EMT's attend to Jaguar and Travis is sitting in a corner crying about the wrecked limo.........show ends))
