Ed: Lets get back to the ring for our Hardcore Fatal Four Way for the Hardcore Title.
Travis: Yes!! Blood 'n guts!!!
Ed: Sometimes I think you are as demented as they are.
Travis: Thank you.
Ed: Anyway, lets get to the ring...
Announcer: The following match is scheduled for one fall and is for the HWC Hardcore Championship. Entering first weighing in at 245 lbs.....VINCE EXTREME!!!!!!
((Vince walks out to a so-so response and tries to grab a mic but is interupted by the announcer.))
Announcer: And his opponent weighing in at 257 lbs......SMACKDADDY!!!!!!!
((Smackdaddy walks out to a good response with a few boos. He and Vince hook up as the announcer continues.))
Announcer: And their opponent weighing in at 212 lbs......DADDY J!!!!!!
((Daddy J runs through the curtains and slides into the ring and the three start to brawl.))
Announcer: And their opponent weighing in at 221 lbs, he is our HWC Hardcore Champion.....HELLRAIZER!!!!!!!
((Hellraizer walks out casually with his Hardcore title over his shoulder as the other three are fighting in the ring.))
Ed: You know in the time it takes Raizer to get down to the ring one of these three men could land a powerful move and win the title.
Travis: Raizer doesn't need to rush, he is just letting these three act like they are in charge and then as soon as he hits the ring...POW!!! It's over.
Ed: We will see about that. Anyway, Vince Extreme hits Daddy J with a beautiful snap suplex while Smack dives through the ropes hitting Raizer. Raizer quickly gets to his feet and is whipped into the steps. Raizer bounces of the steps and hits Smack with a power clothesline.
Travis: BEAUTIFUL!!!!
Ed: Right. Vince tries for another snap suplex but DJ reverses into an armbar. Daddy J can win this if Smack and Raizer keep fighting cause remember, there are no rope breaks.
Travis: Come on Raizer!!!
Ed: I think he heard you cause he grabbed a chair from the crowd and is sliding into the ring. OUCH!!! Raizer just broke that chair over Daddy J's head. Daddy J looks to be out. Raizer goes for the pin, 1..2..Vince connects with a stiff kick to Raizer's head. Smack goes under the ring...he slides a table into the ring. He is going under again...HOLY SHIT!!! He has a sledgehammer.
Travis: DQ him ref!!! He has an illegal object!!!
Ed: That isn't illegal cause there are no rules.
Travis: I know that. But the ref might not...so I figure why not take advantage of his ignorance.
Ed: Nevermind, anyway Smack slides into the ring with his new friend...the sledgehammer. OOOH, he just nailed Vince with shot to the ribs!!!
Travis: Who needs ribs anyway??
Ed: Shut up!! Smack is winding up to hit Raizer, but wait Raizer just kicked Smack in the nuts!!! Smack drops the sledgehammer and Raizer has it now.
Travis: Go Raizer!!!
Ed: Raizer just hit Smack in the knee with that sledgehammer and then hits a HUGE DDT on Smack. Pin, 1..2..broken up by DJ who finally seems to be awake again.
Travis: GO BACK TO SLEEP YA BUM!!!
Ed: Be quite!! DJ just picked up the broken chair that was used by Smackdaddy earlier. Smackdaddy slowly gets to his feet but is quickly sent back to the ground with a chair shot from DJ. Smackdaddy rolls to the outside as DJ lays out Raizer with a chair shot. DJ drops the chair and now he has the sledgehammer. HE IS GOING TO SLAM THAT DOWN ON RAIZER'S KNEE!!!! WAIT, ROLLUP BY VINCE AND DADDY J JUST HIT HIS HEAD HARD ON THAT CHAIR!!! 1..2..Raizer breaks it up with an elbow drop and goes for a pin on Vince, 1..kickout!!
Travis: COUNT FASTER REF!!!
Ed: That was fast enough.
Travis: No it wasn't.
Ed: I hate you. Wait look, Raizer has Vince up and sends him to the canvas with a JACKNIFE POWERBOMB!!! But he doesn't go for the pin instead he sets up the table in the middle of the ring.
Travis: This should be good.
Ed: Not for Vince or DJ.
Travis: Your Point?
Ed: Forget I said anything. Raizer picks up Vince and whips him into the ropes. Vince bounces off the ropes, SPINEBUSTER THROUGH THE TABLE!!! This should be over but Raizer is dazed cause it seems he hit the move wrong.
Travis: Raizer doesn't hit moves wrong.
Ed: Then why is he in pain.
Travis: Migraine.
Ed: Sometimes I wonder how you got this job.
Travis: Same thing here except I wonder how you ever got through puberty.
Ed: I'm going to ignore you now so don't be offended.
((Ed turns his chair away from Travis and continues to call the match.))
Ed: Raizer finally falls on top of Vince for the pin, 1....2....
Travis: 3!!!! Raizer got the pin!!!
Ed: NO!!! Vince got a shoulder up at the last possible second!!!! HellRaizer can't believe it!!! He is livid!!!
Travis: THAT WAS 3!!!!!
Ed: No it wasn't!! Raizer is arguing with the ref as Smackdaddy grabs a cookie sheet and throws it into the ring and then throws two trash cans into the ring. He slides in and is met with a cookie sheet to the skull by Daddy J. Smack fights back, slamming the two trash can lids on each side of DJ's head.
Travis: It's the ConTrashTo!!!
Ed: You have been watching to much wrestling. Daddy J spins around and is met with a huge back body drop by Vince. Vince picks up DJ again and slams him to the mat. He is calling for his finisher. HE JUST LOCKED IN THE 8OO HORSEPOWER LEG LOCK!!!! This could be over right here. But wait, Smack is climbing the far rope....LEG DROP ONTO EXTREME!!!!
Travis: For once you did something smart.
Ed: Smack has done a bunch of things smart.
Travis: Sure....
Ed: Smack slides to the outside again and slides in yet another table. Meanwhile Daddy J is up and he throws Vince Extreme to the outside and follows him.Smack slides into the ring and picks up Raizer and whips him into the ropes, but he telegraphs it and Raizer counters with a swinging DDT!!!
Travis: That was nice.
Ed: Sure was. What are Vince and Daddy J doing they are now fighting in the crowd. Vince hits a slam on DJ on the concrete and climbs the barricade. SPLASH OFF THE BARRICADE ONTO DADDY J!!! This seems to have hurt Vince more then DJ as DJ is back up and throws Vince into a row of chairs. Meanwhile Raizer sets up the table and then connects with a piledriver on Smack. Raizer sets Smack up on the top rope as DJ hits Vince a few times with a chair.
Travis: What morons they are out in the crowd leaving these two in the ring and now Raizer is gonna finish off Smack and they are to far away to make the save....amateurs.
Ed: You are probably right but I think they are more concerned with hurting each other then winning the gold.
Travis: Stupid mistake.
Ed: Anyway it seems as though Raizer is trying to Superplex Smackdaddy off the top rope through the table. HERE HE GOES!!! Wait Smackdaddy reverses slamming his index and middle fingers right into Raizer's throat.
Travis: That is cheap.
Ed: No that isn't that is just smart wrestling which it seems Raizer knows nothing about.
Travis: Don't make me come over there.
Ed: Just Bring It!!!
Travis: I'll get you in the parking lot.
Ed: Ooh I'm scared. But call the match. Again Raizer tries to superplex Smack through the table but Smack reverses with a few jabs to the midsection. HE BENDS RAIZER OVER!!! Could he be going for what I think he is going for. YES!!! SMACKDADDY'S EDGE OFF THE TOP ROPE THROUGH THE TABLE!!!! Smack goes for the pin, 1...2...3!!!!!!!!!! YES!!! SMACKDADDY BEAT HELLRAIZER AND IS OUR NEW HARDCORE CHAMPION!!!!
Travis: NOOOO!!!!
Ed: WAIT LOOK!!! Vince and Daddy J are fighting on the second floor balcony!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!! VINCE JUST THREW DADDY J OFF THE BALCONY TO THE CONCRETE BELOW!!!!
Travis: Oh My God......
Ed: We need medical attention out here now!!!!!! Folks we need to cut away...you don't need to see this...
Travis: I agree Ed....just cut to a promo!!
(( Camera cuts to a commercial for the next PPV...Halloween Horror!!!! From New Orleans.....the city of nightmares...the bad boys of the HWC will be taking over!!! Don't let the boogymen get you...watch Halloweeen Horror!!!))
Ed: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back. Daddy J is gonna be ok...thank god..but we have a great match in store for you all.
Travis: That's right. We have the Intercontinental belt on the line tonight!
Ed: Hey, you can talk?! I figured you'd be speechless after getting the
stinky face earlier tonight.
Travis: SHUT UP! That shit ain't funny!
Ed: Hey, you still got a few brown flakes on your nose. (Ed snickers)
Travis: DAMMIT! SHUT THE HELL UP AND CALL THE MATCH! (Travis leans over and grabs a handkerchief and starts to wipe his face)
Ed: HEHE! While my colleague is composing himself, let's get on to the
match. First to the ring, the challenger, Kidd Rock!
Travis: MY NAME IS KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDDDDD!!
That's the true American bad ass!
((Kidd Rock makes his way to the ring amidst deafening applause))
Ed: Next, to the ring, the HWC Intercontinental Champion, Jaguar!
Travis: A true champion. This man has it all!
((Jaguar makes his way to the ring, wearing the IC belt around his waist, and the crowd goes wild))
Ed: Both men are in the ring and the ref holds up the IC belt. Here's the bell. Both men are going at it. They are exchanging punch for punch.
Travis: This promises to be a great match. If not a great one, at least a bloody one. That's great in my book.
Ed: Sitting beside someone that doesn't smell like Tikishi's ass is a great day, in my book. (hehehehe)
Travis: DAMMIT! Leave it alone, already! Call the match!
Ed: Both men are still exchanging blows. Ooh, Jag just caught Kidd with a thumb to the eye. The ref warns Jag but the damage is done. Jag grabs Kidd and gives him a quick scoop slam. Jag picks Kidd up...whip into the ropes...swinging neck breaker by Jag.
Travis: Jag is showing, right now, why he is the champion.
Ed: He is very talented. Jag picks up Kidd again...arm bar takedown into a rear chinlock. Jag is wrenching back on the neck and chin of Kidd. The ref is watching closely. Kidd is making no sign that he's giving up but he looks like he's getting weaker.
Travis: He better get out of that soon or he will be taken out of this match in a hurry. Jag is really pouring it on.
Ed: Kidd is trying to hold on. Kidd is gaining a little strength back.
He's trying to stand up...Jag is still holding on. OUCH! Kidd suddenly
dropped to the ground causing Jag to come down chin first into the top of
Kidd's head.
Travis: Kidd's gonna come back. He's, "gotta go and cut the lawn..."
Ed: huh? Uh, ok.
Travis: It's in the song, dumbass...
Ed: OK, stinky face...hehe
Travis: ERRRGGGG! DAMMIT!
Ed: Kidd now has the upper hand. He picks Jag up...belly to belly slam.
Kidd is showing his strength now. Kidd drops down for a quick
cover...1....and Jag kicks out.
Travis: Too fast. Good try, though. Take a win anyway you can get it. The belt's on the line tonight.
Ed: I agree with that. Kidd picks up Jag...short armed clothes line on Jag. Kidd runs to the ropes...off the ropes....big splash on Jag. Kidd goes for another cover...1....2....and Jag kicks out again.
Travis: Kidd really wants this belt but so does Jag. You can see it in both of them. These guys aren't going to give up.
Ed: You got that right. Kidd picks up Jag...but Jag falls and puts Kidd in a small package....1....2....and Kidd kicks out. Kidd jumps up and flattens Jag with a right hook.
Travis: Damn! That didn't do anything but piss Kidd off.
Ed: Kidd gives Jag a quick drop kick then follows with an elbow drop. Damn, this guy is really showing his skills tonight.
Travis: If this keeps up, we will have a new IC champ.
Ed: Kidd picks up Jag...whip to the ropes...OOOOHHH! Running lariat by
Kidd! He hit Jag so hard, he flipped him in mid air.
Travis: Jag almost got decapitated with that lariat.
Ed: Kidd's going to the top rope....Off the rope for a big splash....Jag got the knees up! Both men are down and in pain! Jag gets up and gives Kidd a quick leg drop. Now Jag runs...off the ropes...baseball slide into the head of Kidd!
Travis: Jag just squashed Kidd's head like a grape! Oh, wait a
minute....SAFE!
Ed: Thank you, ump. I was waiting for the call. Jag goes for the
cover...1....2...and Kidd gets his foot on the rope. Jag gets up and pulls Kidd up. Jag whips Kidd into the ropes....double clothes line and both men are down!
Travis: Here we go. It's time for the ref to try and count past three. Hey ref! You gotta go to 10! Can you handle that or do I need to get the 8 year old in the front row to count for you!
Ed: Here's the count....1.....2.....3....4.....5......HEY, WHAT THE......
((the lights start to flicker and everything goes black))
Travis: What the hell is going on. Do you see that?! Oh shit!
It's......It's.....
Ed: I don't know. It looks like him! All I can make out is a silhouette. Whoever it is, he just picked up Kidd.....OOOOOOHHHHHH! He just gave Kidd a massive DDT in the center of the ring! Now he's pulling Jag over on top of Kidd.
((the lights come back up and the intruder has left the ring.))
Travis: Was that who I think it was?
Ed: I don't know but if so, we're in for a long night. Look! Jag's on top of Kidd and both men are unconscious. The ref starts the count!
1.....2......3! Jag retains the title! What the hell just happened?!
Travis: I don't know but it must have got the attention of our fearless
leader because he's coming to the ring.
((Mr. Lashley makes his way to the ring as Jag struggles to get to his feet.))
Ed: It looks like he has something to say...
((Lashley grabs a mike and stands outside of the ring, looking at Jag))
Mr. Lashley: Well, it looks like you miraculously retained you title, once again. This will be short lived. Because of your disrespect and constant bashing of me and my administration, Jaguar, I have a surprise for you. I have booked a match for you, next week at Slaughter. You will be facing one of the Unholy Alliance, whoever they choose. The match will be announced, once the UA decide who to put you up against. Oh, and one more thing, it will be for you precious belt! Have a nice day.
((Mr. Lashley exits the ringside area as Jaguar is standing furious in the center of the ring))
Ed: Oh shit! Did you hear that?
Travis: Yes, you dumbass. I was sitting right here. Jaguar shouldn't have put his hands on Mr. Lashley last week. Now he's going to pay.
Ed: Maybe so. He has to face one member of the UA for the belt. Whoever the UA decides. This is going to be ugly.
Travis: And, if we just saw who I think we saw, he's gonna have a hard time keeping the belt.
Ed: WOW!!! I'm getting word that Chris Murphy isin the back with Cypress Lavey and Klaus Van Hammer...take it away Chris!!!
(( Camera cuts to Chris Murphy in the interview area with Cypress Lavey and Klaus Van Hammer))
Chris: Thanks guys!!! I'm here with the brains behind the Unholy alliance Cypress Lavey and his monster protege Klaus Van Hammer. Cypress, you had an announcement to make??
Cypress: Indeed I do my simple minded friend. As you can plainly see, I plan to bring back the only title next to the world title that had any prestege to it. I am of course talking about the European title.
Chris: Wasn't that title dropped by the HWC??
Cypress: Well, I had a little talk with the Office and they have allowed me to bring the title back, seeing as there are plenty of stipid people here who wish to have their...well ass...beaten by my best protege.
Chris: What do you think about Kash's recent transformation?
Cypress: (with a look of disgust) Don't EVER bring that foul useless man's name up again!! I had high hopes for the young man, untill he started with his emotions....That's what I love about Klaus, he's the perfect killing machine....no feelings whatsoever.
Chris: Well i thank you for that major announcement Mr. Lavey.....
Cypress: Any wrestlers who dare take the challenge....Klaus will tear you apart!!
Chris: Ummm...thanks again....back to you guys!!!!
(( Camera cuts back to Eddie and Travis at the announcers table))
Ed: Welcome back folks and now it is time for the World title match....if you can call it that.
Travis: And what a great match it will be!!! It's David Vs Goliath....Kermit vs that frog legs guy...Gary Coleman vs Mr. Drummond....
Ed: We get the damn point!!! Let's just get to the match!!
(( Throw Up Yo' Soulja Rag plays as Tru makes his way down to the ring....a HUGE smile across his face.))
Travis: Look at him....he's ready for this contest!!
Ed: Yeah, but look at his opponent.
(( The theme from Full House plays as Bob Saget makes his way to the ring...the crowd is giving him a huge pop..mixed in with some laughs))
Ed: And a huge reaction to the joke..i mean the challenger.
Travis: You got it right the first time.
Ed: And it looks like the match is underway....Tru is just standing there as Saget goes to the ropes....and he trips!!! Saget just tripped on the ropes...and into the waiting arms of TRU!!! Tru has him up......
Travis: HELL YEAH!!! SOULJA BOMB!!!!!!
Ed: Oh god it was worse than i thought....1....2.....3. This wasn't even a challenge for the world champ.
Travis: Saget wanted his shot at the title....he got one...now scram loser!!
Ed: This is completely....wait!!!! From the crowd...it's IXON!!!! Ixon is in the ring...and flying clothesline on Tru!!!!
Travis: What the hell is HE doing there???
Ed: Apparently getting some revenge....Ixon has Tru...SECOND DEATH!!!! He hit the second death!!!! And here come Joey Starr!!!
Travis: This is uncalled for!!! Ixon loses a match and he acts like a spolied brat.
Ed: Travis, Ixon had the world champ beat last time they met, and he was robbed of the win!!!!
Travis: You was watching a different match it seems...
Ed: (shakes head) And Ixon is standing outside the ring with the world title!!!! Ixon is leaving the arena with the HWC heavyweight title!!!
Travis: Call the police!!!! THEIF!!! THEIF!!!!
Ed: The Office is furious folks!!!! Ixon has just stolen the HWC World Title!!!!
((Camera cuts to a shot of Mr. Lashley......furious at what just happend and throwing things.))
Lashley: Damnit to f&%kin hell!!!!!!I try to run a tight ship.....but with these damn morons like Ixon and Gotch and those....UGH......Limit Breakers....I can't seem to get rid of them!!!
(( Suddenly a figure walks into the dressing room....We can't see but Lashley recognizes him..))
Lashley: What in the hell are you doing here???
Voice: Only to help boss...only to help....
(( The door to Lashley's dressing room closes and the camera cuts back to Eddie and Travis))
Ed: Welcome back. Our next match is for the Tag team titles. We have the unusual tag team of Kash Flagg and Judge defending the tag titles against the Limit Breakers.
Travis: I have a feeling the tag titles will change hands tonight. Kash and the Judge can't work together, whereas the Limit Breakers are a great, established team. This should be a easy win for the Limit Breakers.
Ed: Well, if the Judge and Kash can coexist for one nite, they can win. They both are huge, strong and accomplished wrestlers. The have the talent, let's see if they have the patience for each other to win.
Travis: They don't have a chance.
Ed: First, to the ring, the challengers: The Limit Breakers, Jaguar and Brett Bruiser!
((the Limit Breakers make their way to the ring as the crowd goes wild))
Ed: And now, for our tag team champs. First, making his way to the ring, Kash Flagg!
(( Kash Flagg makes his way to the ring to a thunderous applause))
Travis: The reformed Captain Insano! The stay at Bellevue did him good.
Ed: ...and the second half of this tag team, the Judge!
((the Judge makes his way to the ring with both tag belts, one over each shoulder))
Travis: I guess he's still the sole tag team champ. I guess he don't want to give one of the belts to Kash. You see?! That's why they are going to lose. They can't get along at all.
Ed: They're gonna have to go keep in this match tonight against two great wrestlers. Judge and Brett enter the ring first....here's the bell! Brett sings at the Judge. The Judge blocks the blow and flattens Brett with a forearm shot to the mouth. Judge picks up Brett and gives another huge forearm shot!
Travis: You can't match strength agaist the Judge. He'll flatten your ass!
Ed: You're right. They're gonna have to find another way to get around this monster. Judge picks up Brett and gives a scoop slam to Brett. Judge then follows by an elbow drop. Judge walks over to his corner and tags in Kash. Kash seems to be looking at Judge strange
Travis: Good tag but let's see what hey can do with it.
Ed: Judge waves on Kash to get in the ring. Kash eventually gets in the ring as Brett is getting up. Kash gives Brett a quick kick in the midsection, immediately followed by a DDT!
Travis: WOW! This may be a good one after...
Ed: Kash runs to the ropes...off the ropes...flying knee in the head! Kash makes a quick cover...1....2....and Brett kicks out. Kash makes another tag to his partner, the Judge.
Travis: That just don't sound right. Kash and his partner, the Judge. Something's wrong with that picture...
Ed: I think you're right. It is a bit odd. Judge runs for Brett. Brett ducks...Judge off the ropes...Jag pulled the top rope down and the Judge falls out of the ring. Jag jumps off the ring apron and connects to the Judge with a double axe handle. Jag now whips the Judge into the guard rail....OUCH! the Judge hit that guard rail and dropped to the floor. Jag is now back up on the ring apron...Brett makes the tag.
Travis: Good team work. Let's see what else they can do...
Ed: Jag is in the ring, waiting for the Judge. The Judge is slowly making his way to the ring. As the Judge gets in the ring, Jag stomps his head. Judge finally makes it into the ring and Jag is waiting for him to pick him up. Jag picks up the Judge...off the ropes...flying lariat by Jag and that takes the big man off his feet.
Travis: Here we go. Time for an upset.
Ed: Jag picks up the Judge again and gives him a quick scoop slam. Jag goes for the cover...1.....2.....and the Judge kicks out. Jag's up. He makes a tag to Brett. Brett comes in and immediately hits the Judge with a leg drop.
Travis: Good team work here. This is gonna be the deciding factor in this upset.
Ed: We'll see. Brett picks up the Judge...whips him into the ropes...OH! and the big man runs right over Brett. Judge makes his way to his corner and makes the tag. Kash is in. Kash runs over and hammers Brett with a fury of punches and forearm blows. Kash picks up Brett and drops him with a brain buster. Kash goes for the cover...1....2....and Brett kicks out.
Travis: These two guys aren't doing too bad so far. Let's see if they can stay in it for the long haul.
Ed: Kash whips Brett into the ropes....off the ropes...and Brett meets the big boot of Kash. Kash goes in for the tag...and a fresh Judge is in. Judge picks up Brett....whips him into the ropes....OOOH! BIG POWER SLAM BY THE 7 FOOTER! Judge goes for a cover...1.....2.....and Jag comes in for the save. The Judge runs over and starts to pound on Jag. Kash runs around the ring apron to get a piece of the action from the outside. Meanwhile, Brett is still down, struggling to his feet.
Travis: What a mauling. I may have been wrong in my prediction. Let's see what happens.
Ed: Brett has gone outside the ring. He's grabbed one of the tag belts and has come back in the ring. The ref is not looking because he's trying to split up the Judge and Jag. Kash seems to have seen Brett grab the belt and is trying to get around the ring to him.
Travis: Here we go...upset!
Ed: The Judge has beaten Jag to the ground outside of the ring. He slowly starts to make his way back in the ring as the ref is watching the condition of Jag. Brett is waiting for him...this is gonna be ugly.
Travis: Get ready to great our NEW tag team champs...
Ed: the Judge starts to turn around and say a few more words to Jag. Kash is yelling at the Judge to turn around. Now the Judge is yelling at Kash. Brett is making his way up behind the Judge with one of the belts. The Judge starts to turn around as Kash begins to leap into the ring.
Travis: Here we go!
Ed: Kash just pushed the Judge to the ground.....OHHHHHHHH...AS BRETT WAS SWINGING THE BELT. Kash just pushed the Judge out of the way, and regretfully, took a shot to the face by the tag team belt. The Judge looks up and sees what just happened. The Judge is furious. He turns toward Brett....yanks the tag title out of his hands.....OHHHH...WRATH OF JUDGEMENT ON BRETT! Judge goes for the cover....1.....2......3! Judge retains both tag titles.
Travis: WOW! What a match!
Ed: LOOK! The Judge is helping up Kash. Kash is looking at him like he's crazy. Oh shit! The Judge just presented Kash Flagg with one of the tag title belts and is shaking his hand. WOW! We thought we'd never see that. This has been one crazy program.
Travis: Unbelievable!
Ed: Thank you for all coming out. I'm Eddie Daniels and for my colleague, Travis Best, good night!!!!!
(( The show ends with Kash and Judge on either ringpost holding the titles in the air...the crowd is going wild...the show ends.))
