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We're about one day away from Smackdown, the last event before UK Massacre, and the customary XWF house show is already under way. XWF's very own announcer and interviewer Michael Cole is stood backstage waiting patiently for his cue to begin, as a match in the arena has just ended.
'Dorkus Maximus' /~Michael Cole~\ Folks, in just a few moments we are hoping to get a word from Vince McMahon about the whole UK Massacre situation, namely the World Title decider between Raven and Rhyno. But right now, we want to take you back, to whe...
Suddenly Cole stops and motions for the camera man to follow him. As he does so, we see Edge and Christian walking through the entrance doors to the arena, banged up and bruised from the brutal attack on Raw from Triple H, both carrying their bags over their shoulders, and both wearing the same ridiculous glasses as usual. Cole runs over and right up to them, as Christian looks over to Edge and raises his eyes in near dispair.
'Dorkus Maximus' /~Michael Cole~\ Guys what are you doing here? We weren't expecting you to even show up here tonight.
'Sexy Beast' /~Chris-TIAN~\ First of all...Greetings to all of our fans here in Chumpsville USA!!!
The fans in the background can be heard booing as Edge takes the microphone.
'Total Awesomeness' /~Edge-STER~\ So...did you want something oh 'dorkus maximus'? Or are you just clammering for an authentic E&C autograph.
'Dorkus Maximus' /~Michael Cole~\ Well seeing as you're here, I might as well ask you about your upcoming match on Smackdown, where you will face the team of Jerry Lynn and A.J Styles.
'Total Awesomeness' /~Edge-STER~\ We know who we're facing Dorkus. It doesn't need a big build up, or even the weak excuse for a build up you just gave it. After all, it is only Jerry Lynn and A.J Styles.
'Sexy Beast' /~Chris-TIAN~\ Sh..yeah. If you really think me and the Edgester are worried about two small time losers like A.J Styles and Jerry Lynn, then you're sadly mistaken Maximus. Sure they're a decent enough team and all...but we're Edge and Christian. We are Edge...and Chris-TIAN!!! The best team in the history of the universe, and beyond. We're like...like the Justin Timberlake and Nelly of the XWF. Where as Jerry and A.J...if we're JT and Nelly, they'd be Ren and freaking Stimpy!
'Total Awesomeness' /~Edge-STER~\ Yeah, because me and my bro here should be Tag Team Champions right now we're so good. We would have won the Tag Titles in England next week in TLC, if it wasn't for Triple H and his big, bad...bald...buddy Batista. Because of them, not only are we not in a TLC Match for the Tag Belts next week...but we've got injured ribs. Our stomachs are hurting...Christian's been blowing chunks all week. Because of Triple H, we're out of the Tag Title picture again. So let me take this time to warn Triple H. We're not scared of you. We will not back down from you and your buddy Batista. Not at U.K Massacre, not on Smackdown...not any night. You want a fight, you've got one.
'Sexy Beast' /~Chris-TIAN~\ You two have totally booked yourselves into a world of hurt at Massacre. And guys, make sure your heads are out of each other's asses Saturday night, so you can see a real tag team in action, when me and my bro administer a heinous beating on A.J and J.L like only E&C can.
Edge and Christian then walk off away from Cole, who goes back to his presentation, or whatever it is the dork is supposed to be doing. Meanwhile the two Canadians walk into their locker room and slump down onto a long leather couch. Edge then turns on the T.V sitting in front of him, and playing on screen is a promo for Angle-Sanders at UK Massacre. Angle appears on screen with Team Angle, as Edge and Christian exchange dissapointed looks.
'Sexy Beast' /~Chris-TIAN~\ Jeez, why's Kurt with those two chumpstain rookies? Surely he'd rather have team ECK than Team Angle?
'Total Awesomeness' /~Edge-STER~\ Totally. But hey, maybe all that baldness has messed his head up. Even more than before.
'Sexy Beast' /~Chris-TIAN~\ Ha ha...yeah. Hey man, I got a question. You know we've got our 'comeback match' so to speak. And we're against A.J Styles and Jerry Lynn.
'Total Awesomeness' /~Edge-STER~\ Yeah...
'Sexy Beast' /~Chris-TIAN~\ Well...well, I'm kinda embarassed to ask but...well, who's A.J Styles?
'Total Awesomeness' /~Edge-STER~\You mean you don't know?
'Sexy Beast' /~Chris-TIAN~\ I don't have a freakin' clue...
'Total Awesomeness' /~Edge-STER~\ Me neither! I thought it was that guy who gave us our sodas before Raw. But apparantly Styles isn't blonde, so it can't be him.
'Sexy Beast' /~Chris-TIAN~\ You don't reckon it was that cleaner that gave me the eye the other day, do ya. I wouldn't want that.
'Total Awesomeness' /~Edge-STER~\ Dude, that was a chick.
'Sexy Beast' /~Chris-TIAN~\ A.J's a chick? We're wrestling with a chick on Saturday night...cool. Just like old times eh bro?
'Total Awesomeness' /~Edge-STER~\ No...no look, this 'A.J's got to be a wrestler, otherwise they wouldn't have put him up against the best tag team in the business.
'Sexy Beast' /~Chris-TIAN~\ Ah ha! I got it. You know that guy who won the first ever WWF Tough Enough...
'Total Awesomeness' /~Edge-STER~\ Who Maven...
'Sexy Beast' /~Chris-TIAN~\ ...Ah. Maybe I don't got it then. Edge, this sucks. We're in a match, and we don't even know who the hell we're up against. We gotta ask somebody who this 'A.J' is.
'Total Awesomeness' /~Edge-STER~\ I know. All this, and we've still got Triple H and Batista to worry about.
Both Canadians sit looking at the T.V screen, as suddenly there's a knock on the door and one of the backstage workers walks in to the room. The two look over, and Christian starts nudging Edge in the shoulder excitedly.
'Random Reekazoid' /~Backstage Worker~\ Edge, Christian...I was told to deliver this to you.
'Total Awesomeness' /~Edge-STER~\ Thanks kid...
'Sexy Beast' /~Chris-TIAN~\ Duuude...it's hiiim...Hey kid...I get your game. Yeah, you think you can just strut in here and fool me, Chris-TIAN! *Errrrr* Wrong! Yeah I know who you are. My brother knows who you are...You're A.J Styles aren't you?
'Random Reekazoid' /~Backstage Worker~\ N...no sir...I just work here at the arena.
'Total Awesomeness' /~Edge-STER~\ Excuse my brother's ignorance. I know you ain't A.J Styles. You're not muscualr enough...Hey dude, before you leave. You don't know who A.J Styles actually is do you?
'Random Reekazoid' /~Backstage Worker~\ Sure. He's the X Division Champion.
'Sexy Beast' /~Chris-TIAN~\ Man, how have we never heard of him, with such an important belt around his waist as that! NOT!
'Total Awesomeness' /~Edge-STER~\ Hey wait Reeky...yeah, kid wait there. Where's his locker room at?
'Random Reekazoid' /~Backstage Worker~\ Well, his locker room is down the hall...take a left, and it's three doors down. But he isn'...
'Total Awesomeness' /~Edge-STER~\ Cheers dude.
'Sexy Beast' /~Chris-TIAN~\ Oh hey Chumpy! Not so fast. What's in the package?
'Random Reekazoid' /~Backstage Worker~\ I don't know, I was just told to give it to you...but I really have to go.
The worker leaves as Edge turns off the T.V screen and follows out, Christian close behind. The two walk down the hallway and towards the locker room of A.J Styles.
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Edge and Christian arrive at the door of A.J Styles' locker room, and are looking at the sign on the door...'AJ Styles and Jerry Lynn'. Self explanitory I guess. Enough for Christian to barge into the room, and see someone standing with his back to the door, presumably A.J Styles as Christian grabs him by the arm and spins him around...but wait...A.J Styles doesn't wear gold facepaint. A.J Styles doesn't wear a blonde wig. At least not until Saturday night down that dodgy looking strip bar downtown...
'Sexy Beast' /~Chris-TIAN~\ Wait...dude, you're not A.J Styles! You're...you're...
'Gold Freak Guy' /~Goldust~\
Goldust slams his jaw shut as phlegm hits Christian in the face. He angrily wipes it off as both he and Edge look confused.
'Sexy Beast' /~Chris-TIAN~\ psst...Edge. You don't think A.J Styles is a crossdresser, do you?
'Total Awesomeness' /~Edge-STER~\ He probably is, but that's not the point...What the hell are you doing here you...gold ..freak..guy. I thought you got fired.
'Gold Freak Guy' /~Goldust~\ I did...I just came back to see if Jerry still had my waffle maker I lent him. Oh boy, he and A.J loved my waffles.
Edge and Christian both stare blankly at Goldust, as the Gold One just smiles at them.
'Total Awesomeness' /~Edge-STER~\ Get out of here! Go on, take your wig with ya! Come on.
Christian starts pushing Goldust out of the door, but Goldust stops and starts to walk out on his own accord. Before he leaves though, he quickly grabs Christian's big, goofy, orange lensed glasses from off of his head and runs off with them, Christian running comically on after him. Edge just puts his head in his hands and mutters something to himself, as Christian runs back.
'Sexy Beast' /~Chris-TIAN~\ Did you see that...he took my glasses!
'Total Awesomeness' /~Edge-STER~\ Dude, chill out. You have like 100 pairs of the exact same glasses.
'Sexy Beast' /~Chris-TIAN~\ That's not the point!
Straight away, Christian takes an identical pair of glasses from his inside pocket and puts them on, as Edge raises a hand as if to say 'I told ya so'.
'Sexy Beast' /~Chris-TIAN~\ On the plus side, we have another clue as to who this guy is. He likes waffles. So, the plan is simple. Listen up Edge-STER...and take notes. We just need to leave a trail of waffles to our locker room, and he'll follow it right to our door. Like that story with the Russians...Monica and Gabriella...
'Total Awesomeness' /~Edge-STER~\ You're thinking of Hanzel and Gretel. Monica and Gabriella are the Cheeky Girls.
'Sexy Beast' /~Chris-TIAN~\ Well...well their story is good as well. And I bet they didn't have better asses! Listen, you know what I mean. Where they left a trail so they could get back home...
'Total Awesomeness' /~Edge-STER~\ Yeah I know what ya mean dude. But dude, think about it this way. Does it really matter if we know who this reekazoid A.J Styles is anyway? I mean how are he and his caveman throwback buddy Jerry Lynn gonna beat us?
'Sexy Beast' /~Chris-TIAN~\ Well, if we eat any more suck food around here, then we might go down with squitarrhea again.
'Total Awesomeness' /~Edge-STER~\ Damn it dude, I'm still trying to forget the last time...
Edge and Christian both enter their locker room again, to find not one but two parcels sitting on the side. Edge picks up one of them, a small rectangular parcel, and unwraps it finding a tape inside. He shrugs his shoulders and thinks what the hell, putting it in the video player. The two sit back, and surprise surprise it's AJ and Jerry Lynn's conversation from earlier, talking about their 'wrestling credentials' and whatever.
'Sexy Beast' /~Chris-TIAN~\ Booor...ring. Change it over would ya?
'Total Awesomeness' /~Edge-STER~\ Dude, don't you see? That's A.J Styles!
'Sexy Beast' /~Chris-TIAN~\ No it isn't! That's the guy from Nickleback! Chad Cro...Co...
'Total Awesomeness' /~Edge-STER~\ Kroger. No, that's Jerry Lynn...
'Sexy Beast' /~Chris-TIAN~\ Oh, so A.J Styles is the one who looks like a little thirteen year old kid. Phff...all that work trying to figure out who the hell he is...and he turns out to be some punk kid. Ironic or what.
'Total Awesomeness' /~Edge-STER~\ Did you hear that?
Christian looks startled and turns to the door, worried about what might be there.
'Total Awesomeness' /~Edge-STER~\ No, on the screen.
'Sexy Beast' /~Chris-TIAN~\ Oh...Ooooh, yeah...no, I didn't.
'Total Awesomeness' /~Edge-STER~\ They just said I don't have any technical wrestling ability! And they just dissed my Edge-cator! Where the hell do they get off talking about who can wrestle and who can't? I mean if they could wrestle, how come we'd never heard of them before?
'Sexy Beast' /~Chris-TIAN~\ Well from the looks of things, because they're a couple of indie wrestlers nobodies who are trying to make it in the big time...and thrying to get their little buddies in too. Jeez, I thought the Brady Bunch were all ugly...
'Total Awesomeness' /~Edge-STER~\ You know what, screw this. I can wrestle. Those two reekazoids don't know me. That's their big mistake...
'Sexy Beast' /~Chris-TIAN~\ Oh oh, wait. It might be my...you know.
Christian points down towards his ass as Edge picks the parcel up.
'Total Awesomeness' /~Edge-STER~\ Nope...it's not your...you know. No, it's the wrong shape. Damn, it's pretty heavy too.
'Sexy Beast' /~Chris-TIAN~\ Well...unwrap it. The suspence is killing me! And hey, when you're done can you go get us some sodas, I'm real...
Suddenly there's a huge thud as something drops to the floor, and Edge stands with a look of fear on his face. Christian gets up to see what the matter is, and looks down in shock as well, as there laying on the floor in front of them is a half gift wrapped sledgehammer! The two brothers look anxiously at each other, down at the sledgehammer, and back at each other again. What does the sledgehammer mean...is it a message from Triple H? Is it a preview of UK Massacre...is it a preview of Smackdown!?!
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