[“Texas RattleSnake”]

***.Now here we go as we catch up with the traveling circus known as the XCW the words of the rap/rock band LIMP BIZKIT...the XCW has been ROLLIN....ROLLIN....ROLLIN....and yes this train shows no signs of stopping as they are now on their tour around the world. It is now a week from the "RUMBLE" and the XCW rolled into another town to rock all the fans with a great show of music, pyros and hot wrestling action. As pre-production for the show begins we can see many fans lining up around a police barrier near the backstage entrance in the attempts to get a small glimpse of their favorite superstar or maybe even an autograph. Smiles come across all their faces as a limo pulls up first. Out of one side steps Jonathan Davis who the fans all recognize from the band Korn. Jonathan waves to all the fans and then offers up his arm to the lovely XCW diva Torrie Wilson who makes her way out of the limo. Torrie has Jonathan wait a couple minutes as she signs a few autographs. Torrie sees a small little girl who is looking at her with stars in her eyes and Torrie leans down and gives her a peck on the cheek telling the young girl how she is gonna win her match just for her tonight. Torrie then tells everyone good-bye as she makes her way inside the arena. The fans are all excited now as obviously Torrie Wilson has a ton of fans. Quickly another car arrives and out steps Freakazoid. Who looks out on the large group of fans who are now amassing at the guard rail and throws his nose in the air. He goes around to the trunk and grabs his gear before heading inside. The fans speak on how they feel about the man who put their beloved Kurt Angle on the shelf maybe permanently. Well the discussion quickly ends as a black corvette pulls up. Out of the automobile steps none other then the Rumble favourite himself Syko Sting. Syko Sting is already ready for action as he has on the face paint and a large black trench coat. Sting walks up right in front of the people and opens up his coat to reveal him wearing his wrestling attire and this is a perfect time for the fans to grab a great picture for their collection. Syko Sting signs an autograph or two before entering the arena. The fans are buzzing about this man as with him there is no gray area. You either love him to death or you hate his guts. The fan's attentions are quickly gained by a black truck flying down the road. They can hear the band EMINEM's song "SUPERMAN" blasting from inside. The truck swerves in the parking lot and comes to a quick halt. Out jumps "Stone Cold" as he turns and climbs into the bed of his truck. He opens a cooler and grabs a couple of "STEVEweisers" and cracks them open. He guzzles them right down then he throws his fists in the air posing for the crowd to take pictures. Just before most get ready to snap one off, Austin changes the fist into middle fingers and flips off the fans as they take their pictures. Slowly out of the other side of the truck comes Trish. She is obviously embarrassed at the actions of her husband and she quickly heads inside. Austin begins to walk inside but quickly stops and takes a step back to see Syko Sting's black corvette. Austin cracks an evil smile and then heads back to his truck. Austin grabs a crowbar out of the cab then heads back to the high dollar car. Austin then begins to take the crowbar and smash in all the windows. He goes to work on the automobile smashing it up to where it is almost unrecognizable. Austin then looks at the side mirror and takes his shirt and wipes off the sweat he sees on his brow in the mirror. Then Austin takes a huge swing and smashes of the mirror. Austin then smiles and walks into the arena happy at what he has just done. The fans or shocked and can't believe what they just saw. Then again, it is mostly usual behavior from the man who couldn't give less of a damn about anybody. The time for the show is quickly arriving so the fans abandon their location and make their way inside the arena. Many fans rush to their seats as some head for the merchandise stands to pick up the new HHH shirt which says "GAME OVER" on the front and on the back it says "YOU WILL LOSE". Many of the other fans head for hot-dogs and cold alcoholic adult beverages. The area is soon whipped clean as if somebody called in a bomb scare as the show kicks off with the opening segment. The fans rush to their seats filling in the sold out arena and begin a loud roar of cheers for Lillian Garcia who has just made her way into the ring. On a sour note. A group of a couple guys on the front row obviously drunk and wearing "WHITE BOYZ INC." t-shirts have begun a "SHOW YOUR TITS" chant. It is obvious that some fans just have no respect...*** {

Lillian Garcia

Ladies and Gentleman, we would like to welcome you here tonight to the XCW on tour brought to you by the autobiography "STONE COLDS: FROM RAGS TO RICHES". It is an autobiography of one of our greatest XCW superstars. It has come out today on your local book shelves so you can either visit or merchandise stands to get your copy or you can rush out to your local retailer to pick up a copy. Just be sure to get a copy of what I am sure will be on the top five best sellers list. Now with that out of the way let's get on with the show. We have a jam packed show for you tonight featuring all your favorite superstars. Yes....Syko Sting is here!.....Yes.... Spawn and the Freakazoid are here! Also we will be joined by STONE.....COLD......STEVE....AUSTIN...(waits for boos to die down)....as he will come out here and enlighten us with a few words on his chance this Friday at Thunder where the main event called "ROYAL RUMBLE" to regain the XCW Title and that is the against every single superstar(fans cheer loudly). Now we are gonna start this show off right here tonight as it gives me great pleasure to bring you none other than "Stone Cold" Steve Austin!

Jim Ross

Hold onto your hats sports fans and I would like to welcome you to the show. We are starting this one off with a challenger to the World Title at the "RUMBLE" in "Stone Cold" Steve Austin. He is on his way to the ring. Now I am Jim Ross and ....

Jerry Lawler

...and you talk to much Ross. I am Jerry "The King" Lawler, the real star of this team and let me tell you Jimbo, I can't believe what we saw Austin do earlier tonight.

Jim Ross

Without a doubt "King". Austin took a crowbar to OUR champions prized corvette.

Jerry Lawler

He smashed every last bit of it and it was great. I couldn't believe my own eyes. It was great.

Jim Ross

Neither could I believe what I was seeing. I mean when Syko Sting gets his hands on Steve Austin there is gonna be hell to pay. Why would Austin do such a thing?

Jerry Lawler

It is obvious J.R. "Stone Cold" was sending a message loud and clear. He was telling Sting that Sting is now the hunted and the hunter is right on his heels.

Jim Ross

I don't know what destroying a beautiful piece of american machinery has to do with a wrestling match but if you say so "King" then I will go with it.

Jerry Lawler

Yeah Jimbo, he was telling Sting that the fun and games were over and now it is time to get serious.

Jim Ross

The time for fun and games are definitely over and this match with Syko Sting involved is gonna be one hell of a slobberknocker for the former XCW champ.

Jerry Lawler

"Slobberknocker"??????? Where in the hell do you come up with these words? Some kind of redneck convention?

Jim Ross

Well speaking of rednecks...here comes "The Bionic Redneck" so we will just sit back and let the man take it from here.

Jerry Lawler

Oh...I can't wait to hear what he has to say about Sting. You know Steve well and I know him and I am willing to bet he ain't gonna be in a good mood.

Jim Ross

"Stone Cold" is never in a good mood. That is why it is best to just keep your mouth shut and just stay the hell away from him. So Jerry, buckle your seat belt cause here he comes...."STONE COLD" STEVE AUSTIN.....

***...As the glass breaks a huge eruption of both boos and cheers come from all in attendance as they come jumping to their feet. The vocal sounds quickly turn to wolf whistles as Trish steps out onto the ramp. She is dressed in one of the most reviling business suits the world has ever seen and she places her hands on her hips and waves to the crowd. Then as a mad man on a mission, Austin comes storming out in his usual black "AUSTIN 3:16" t-shirt with the words "AIN'T THAT A BITCH" written in white on the back, black jean shorts, black knee braces. Austin does not look happy but then again when does he ever. He storms down to the ringside and as Trish climbs up the stairs, Steve steps through the ropes and then hits the turnbuckles for a photo opportunity as he gives his "Stone Cold Salute". Trish claps along with the fans as Austin looks at her half crazed and then goes and grabs a mic from a ringside attendant...***

***...SPITTING HIS DEADLY VENOM!!!...***

Stone Cold Steve Austin

Trish, you just walk your ass over to that corner and keep your mouth shut. I got a lot to talk about and I don't need you slowing me down. I know all the XCW superstars want to hear just what it is I have to say. Now I am not out here to grace all of you with my presence. Oh hell no, ain't a damn one of you pieces of trash deserve it. I am out here tonight to talk about the biggest piece of trash and that is the man you people call Sting. You see, you all may call him Syko but you see, I got another name for him. This name fits him better then any other name he has ever had. It fits him better than even the one his damn momma gave him. The name I got for him is "Jackass". That's right. You heard me. I called him a "Jackass". Why you ask? First off because this sumbitch actually thought I wasnt good enough to team with ....hahahahah. I couldn't believe it. I set the stage a few days ago and he fell right into my trap. I even bought a damn vulture just so i can be like him NOT. I fooled him into thinking I was somebody like him and then at that time. At precisely the right time. I will strke and out the lights go as Im hit him with the "Stunner". You should have just gave up and went into early retirement. Sting should have just jumped on that stage coach and took the fast track out of Dodge. Now thirdly cause this dumb sumbitch is running his mouth about this and about that and how he could beat me and about how he could take me in this very ring. Well "Jackass", don't you know who I am? I am "Stone Cold" Steve Austin....a man of men....a champion of champions. Now before I go on any further. Please stick with me as I address a situation. What I want to do is take this mic I got right here and show Sting just how it works. You see I was watching his promos from the few hours ago and his mouth was moving but I couldn't hear any words. Some say it was because I wasn't even listening but I swear he sound like CHARLIE BROWN's teacher.....it was all "WAH...WAH...WAH....WAANNNN". Look Sting, you see this end? When you see this red light on, you know then the microphone is on. I know a man like you with a low grade school education would find it tough to understand but you got to give it your best. Next up if the light is on, you talk into this end. The round end. You see the other day, you were not talking out of this end but instead you were talking out the back of your ass. You were talking about the darkness this.....WHAT?.....and the darkness that......WHAT? ...and how I should be afraid of you and how you are chump and I should fear you. This coming from a man who can't cut a promo to save his life. Sting, you must have gotten your wings using a mic in some crappy bingo parlor you used to wrestle in. Well son, this is the big leagues Jackass and this ain't no bingo parlor and I sure ain't no "Jobber" you are used to wrestling. When you were wrestling for scrapes, I was main eventing card after card. When you were nothing but an itch in your Daddy's nut sack, I was wrestling in front of over 20,000 people. So what I am saying to you Syko Sting is that to a guy like me you are a nothing....WHAT?......a nobody......WHAT?........a loser.....WHAT? I said the way that man talks maybe he is from Saturn. So let me feel you in. Son, you can come out here night after night but we all know whatever you say is just a lie. You can lie threw your TOOTH all you want but when "RUMBLE" goes down you will realize real quick that you were but the learner and I am the master. Well the morale of the story is you seem to have diareia of the mouth cause all you seem to be talking is a bunch of shit. You keep talking about things that nobody has any clue what you are talking about. Maybe if you go back to school, graduate the 6th grade and come back, maybe we will be better able to understand your incoherent babbling. Sting, you call yourself a creature of the night huh? That you hide in the shadows and conduct all your business in the dark. You might as well play hide and seek cause you don't want none of this right here clown boy. So you go hide and make a wish to the tooth fairy that this damn evil sumbitch don't ever find you cause if I do, you can bet your ass to a dollar bill I will not stop till your goofy ass is pushing up daises. After I get done with you. After I drag you out of your hiding spot and pull you into the light, I will bury you six feet under. Once I do, people will come visit your tombstone and read "HERE LIES A PAINTED UP JACKASS, COURTESY OF STONE COLD". Now come to think of it, I made one challenge to you already and now I have two more. First off I challenge you to get a decent haircut and secondly I challenge you to flush yourself down the commode cause you are the biggest piece of crap I have ever seen. You compensate for the fact that you suck by painting up your face like some two dollar whore and running around in your black trench coat like some dark night loser. You are weak and frankly not good enough to lace my boots. You see man, I am a star and you know why people pay to see me? They pay cause they want to see the face of a winner. That's right Jackass. I am 3:16 and 0 and you are in this fed for two seconds and you took already suffered your first defeat. Hell son, the ref could have went on for hours cause you weren't going nowhere. You seemed quite comfortable on your back and you will be there once again this Friday. Like I said, me a winner....you a loser. Hell, you want to run around playing some kind of dark hero like this wrestling business is all a big joke. This is not some game for me. This is my business and I am in the business of doing business and that is kicking ass and making money cause you see Sting, when you retire laid up broke and in a wheelchair getting love from "Fat Shirley" in some run down trailer park, I will be entering the XCW "Hall Of Fame" as the greatest champion ever. This Friday I am gonna be on the fast track right to the top of the mountain cause frankly I am just that much better then you. After I knock you out with these two knuckle samichs....I am stunning you for the 1...2....3.....and then making my way to the pay window if you will. I will leave my signature free of charge at "THUNDER" for you as you become just another name on the list. What list is that? The "I just got my ass whipped by Stone Cold" signed, sealed and delivered with a stunner. Ain't that right Trish?

Trish Stratus

Well Steve I.....

You are exactly right Trish. You said it all baby. Winning this match now means more to me then you people could imagine and you can bet your ass to a dollar bill, I will do whatever I have to.....I will do whatever it takes to put that goofy sumbitch out for the count. Now see Syko or should I say "Jackass", no way in hell I am gonna take it easy on you son. I am in the shape of my life. I am rested and ready to go and I am taking you out of the damn picture real damn quick cause "Stone Cold" don't get paid by the hour. I get paid for taking out the trash and you Sting....you are next to go. Hey, let's hold on here just a damn second. You know what, I can't wait to kick his ass cause I am gonna love seeing the pain in his eyes after he wakes up from the "Stone Cold Stunner". It would thrill me to no end to know that in that man's heart he knows not only did he get beat by the better man but his dreams of becoming the greatest XCW World Champion of all time will have come to an end as I do to him what I have done to each and every other wrestler who has stood in my way and that is pin his shoulders to the mat for the 1...2....3. Oh and you can take it to the bank that I will do just that. I will prove to him why I am what I say I am and that is that I am the greatest World Champion of all time. So let me think. Trish....what do you think? Will I be the next XCW World Champion?

Trish Stratus

Steve, I am not......

Oh hell yeah, you goddamn right Trish. Now Freakazoid, You don't deserve to even stand in the same ring with me. Do you know who I am? I am "Stone Cold" and I don't deserve to have to lower myself to even have to wrestle you. When you step in the ring with me I will knock you so damn hard when you wake up your clothes will be out of style. Now as the time for "THUNDER" draws near, I can't help to think that maybe you should skip town. Maybe you need to realize that you made the worst mistake of your life and then grab your gear and your shit and catch the first bus out. I know by looking into your eyes son that you don't want none of "Stone Cold" Steve Austin anyhow. You know I am gonna kick your sorry ass from one end of the damn arena to the next and frankly ain't a damn thing you are gonna be able to do about it. Well I sat back the other day with a few cold "STEVEweisers" and as I pulled them one by one of that ring I thought to myself that I don't blame you one bit for never coming forward to say you wanted a piece of me for all those few days but instead hiding in the shadows making remarks about me you know in your heart you don't want to come true. I don't blame you for not really wanting to step in the ring with me. I don't blame you for not wanting to get the ass cutting of your life. I don't blame you for anything son cause since the first day I laid eyes on you I could see the big yellow stripe running down your back and when me you signed that little contract for "THUNDER", I could see the little yellow stain on the front of your pants. Freakazoid, I understand son that you running would be nothing but a career decision but you tried to let your mouth write a check against me that you know your ass can't cash boy and for that you ain't getting away that easy. I am on the hunt son. As son as I leave this arena, I am grabbing my rifle and my camo gear and I am jumping in the truck. I am gonna hunt you down like the little yellow bastard you really are and I am gonna drag you back to "THUNDER" kicking and screaming and I am gonna drag you into my ring stand you up and turn your damn lights out. I am stunning you boy right there in front of all to see so as you fall to the ground the whole world can once again see that big yellow streak. Freakazoid, you can play hide and seek and go run and hide but that ain't gonna save you one bit. You pissed me off by running your damn mouth and disgracing my title. Now your ass has got to pay. "THUNDER" will end with the sound of Freakazoids's jaw breaking and the sound of broken glass as I stand over a beaten Bird-Boy with my new Heavyweight Title right were it damn well belongs cause Trish has always spoke the truth and she just said you don't have no damn shot at beating me cause you ain't on my level. You hear that sound Freakazoid? Do you hear that "tick"...."tick"...."tick"? That is the sound of that clock drawing nearer to our match. It is too late now for you as there is no escape. Your time has come to nut up or shut up and it looks like to me that you just ain't gonna get the job done. You can't stop it now son. It is to late for you. You will soon pay for each and every word you ran your mouth about as I leave you lying in your own blood. Freakazoid, you see you are just like all the rest. You are just like "Justin justice", "Spawn", "HHH" and all the rest. You are just like all of them in the fact that you live in some kinda fictional fantasy world in which you believe in your heart and in your soul that you could beat me. Well your fantasy is about to become your quick reality as I teach you that all important lesson. You too will soon become a student of the "Stone Cold University" as I school you in the art of getting your ass whipped in what will be your most important class and that is "Austin 316". I am gonna stomp a mud hole in your ass cause sometimes I get a little angry. Sometimes I make a little mess. Sometimes I kick a little ass and in your case I am gonna kick a lot of ass. You will learn that your ass don't mess with Texas and you sure as hell don't mess with the "Texas Rattlesnake" cause I can kick your ass any day of the week and twice on sunday. Jackass, as I said, you will learn a big lesson. This is the same lesson I taught to all the other guys who thought they would and could be the one to finally end my winning streak. The list reads like a who's who of XCW. Chalmers thought he could do it...I stunned him. Freakazoid thought he could do it....I stunned him.....Triple H, Booker T, Kurt Angle, Rock, Hogan.....I stunned all their asses and showed them all that not only could I talk the damn talk but this bad mother fucker can walk the damn walk. They all found out real quick that it is all fun and games until they get in the ring with me and I got to kick their asses. Well, you will learn that same lesson. You will learn that you don't ever run your damn mouth about me cause I will rip your damn head off and send it rolling down the street. You will learn why I am undefeated and soon to be once again World Champion cause I will break you and leave your sorry ass for dead. Then in the end, when all the smoke has cleared.....you will learn the most important lesson of all. As you wake up and clear the cobwebs coming from the "Stone Cold Stunner", you will have learned that you are just another name add to the list. "Stone Cold" Steve Austin's list and as I have said from the day I set foot in this fed that everyone will end up on that list cause I am gonna keep on doing what I do best and that is running through each and every damn one of you AND THAT'S THE BOTTOM LINE CAUSE STONE.....COLD.....SAID SO!!!!

.:[SCENE]:. ***..."Stone Cold" Steve Austin spikes the mic to the ring floor as he walks over to Trish and shouts at her. She glares at her crazed boyfreind and then Austin walks over and hits the nearest turnbuckle to give his "Stone Cold Salute" one more time and to also show off his middle finger to the fans in attendance. Finally Austin falls through the ropes and out onto the ringside floor. Trish goes out the same way she came in by walking down the steps. Steve and Trish make their way back up the ramp way as Austin stops many times to flip the bird as the fans respond with a mixture of emotions

WHAT!!!!