bio...who am i?


crazy drunken writings





danga' grrl!

in a sterotypical scientific medical experiment lab, sperm sample #74850 and egg sample #94760 were being fused together. one was a sample from a regular joe average, the egg sample was from a being...a being that is still unknown. the scientists didn't know what was going to come of the fusion...they just had to wait and watch.

on july 17 the being was 9 months old, so this date was to be considered her birthday. 17 years later, the being known as 'experiment 8', grew restless, and decided to escape.

the being looked human, but possesed the power to publicly humiliate any human, dance like you've never seen, distract with great speed, make anyone laugh, and run away quickly in the opposite direction. so in other words, she kicks major ass.

the night she escaped, a computer screen that was supposed to read 'danger! alien girl escaping!', read only 'danger!...girl!' the being rather liked the name, hence they myth of danger girl began.

danger girl had many odd jobs. she tried out as a crime fighter, but found herself beating the bad guys up and keeping the stolen property for herself. her last arrest happened on october 3, where she was found outside a gas station, smoking a joint, and holding bags that had the '$' symbol on them.

her next job was delivering pizzas, but that didn't work because when she would get to the patrons' door she would point behind them, take the money, and run. her most recent job attempt was at an old people's center. she was quickly fired because she was too loud, and many old people complained of being poked in the face numerous times. poor danger girl was out of a job.

sitting on the curb with her head in her hands, danger girl tried to think of a job that you were allowed to be lazy, smoke pot, and eat cake.

"what jobs allow you to be lazy, smoke pot, and eat cake?" danger girl wondered

"i've got it! i'll become president!"

that was 15 years ago. since then danger girl has taken over the entire world, turned the sky orange, created a manditory chocolate milk break between the hours of 3:30 - 5:00, and even outsmarted the devil. and throughout the entire ordeal she has managed to stay the age of 17. wow!

outsmarting the devil was a lot easier than you'd initially think. all it took was a little bit of pixie dust and a lot of mayonaise. now the devil is working for a man named duke in some abandoned mine. she is truly evil, but she's funny and that makes up for it.

in the end, danger girl doesn't want you to think she's completely evil, but then again, this is coming from someone who outsmarted the guy with the red horns.