June 30^th (Friday)

Arrived at camp, a bit homesick, it looks like we'll have fun. The train ride was long and boring. I called home and talked to Cally for about 30 seconds. I miss home and Mark. The mosquitoes in the cabin are mean.

We got a tour of the camp tonight. Everything seems pretty cool. Tomorrow we have a swimming test to see how good or in my case how bad we are. We each get to go on an 8 day canoe trip and a 6 day canoe trip. That's 1/4 of the time here. We saw a moose on the way to camp this afternoon. I haven't showered since well, yesterday morning at 4:30. ew!

Saturday

I am the first one awake. I had a shower and feel nice and clean.

July 1^st

Movie night, swim test, wore wet boots.

July 2^nd

learned to canoe.

July 3^rd

canoe over canoe rescues

went to town

letters got mailed

July 4^th

Today we had our first aid course all day. In the afternoon I fainted. It was really weird. I didn't want to hear what they were talking about, then I couldn't see right, then I got all sweaty, then I fainted.

July 5^th

This morning we had a lecture about Quetico Park and this afternoon we were clearing bush at Mink with snips. Then we had a short talk about Quetico and we learned when our canoe trips are. Tracy is getting her head buzzed by Miranda.

July 6^th

Canoed with Tracy in the a.m. I think I am improving.

more clearing bush with snippers

July 7^th

A.M. clearing bush with sandvicks. 1^st canoe trip left, including Steph and Miranda. It is really quiet around.

Moved wood cuttings to two piles.

P.M. Loaded one load of wood big lightning clap. Went to cabins are retaped all the screens, made thank you cards, and cleaned laundry room and cabin. The next canoe trip leaves tomorrow morning.

I'm not as homesick anymore.

Andrea borrowed my sleeping bag. Had a bonfire tonight. I tried to start it. Did some laundry. It's still in the drier.

July 8^th

Breakfast at 9:30

did road clean up till after 1

waterproofed boots.

went to town, started bracelet, went canoeing

We watched Go! I feel asleep for a while.

July 9^th

I made lunch with Sally and Wendy. The 5 day canoeing trip came home early because Danielle lost her insulin and went into diabetic shock. She's in the hospital and should probably be back to camp tonight.

I'm at the beach wearing my bikini with my unshaven legs.

went canoeing at evening

I was chosen to replace Danielle on the trip tomorrow.

July 10^th

The trip started (for me anyway). I paddled with Christine for the day. She was in stern. I had a good time. The people on the trip were Kelly, Jannine, Lindsey (I shared a pack with her), Christine, Stacey, Andrea, and Charlotte (who reminds me of Cheryl). We had crackers and cheese for lunch and pizza for supper. We did two portages in the morning and they are the only ones on the trip. I hope I'm not sore tomorrow. I sent a letter to Mark last night. I saw a loon today. I've never seen one before.

July 11^th

I slept like crap last night 'cause I didn't use anything as a pillow. I was in a tent with Charlotte and Andrea. I paddled with Jannine today. That was a lot of fun. We were playing some game and I was teasing Kelly. Later she splashed me with the spoon she had for a paddle. Jannine said you splash my canoe partner you splash me. And thus the war started. We got to a campsite to clean and Jannine got Kelly with a Nalgene full of water, and then I got her with half of one. And then Kelly and Jannine had a soot fight. They wrestled all trip and it was really funny.

July 12^th

I slept with my clothes as a pillow and I slept much better. I paddled with Kelly. I was really tired by the end of the day. We had to clean all the gear when we got back. And it rained in the AM and we wore our rain gear all day. Stacey and Lindsey started with the monkey butlers.

July 13^th

We went to the Nym Lake Access trail (close to where we started our 3 day canoe trip). We had to make "stairs" into a portage trail that was in bad shape. We used rocks, logs, gravel and rotten wood. I worked really hard and had a lot of fun. Mel was supervising us. She is better than I thought she was. We were done at 3 and got to go swimming.

Friday July 14^th

Today I worked my ass off again. I sawed and washed the vans and truck in the morning. Then in the afternoon I snipped trees. The trip got back today. Everyone has got mail except for me. I don't feel very good right now.

Supper tonight we each got a utensil. Mine was a ladle. We weren't allowed to talk or laugh. If we did we got our utensil taken away, then we got our hands behind our backs, then to the floor and then blindfolded, and then outside. I made it to the floor. It was really funny. It was turkey supper too. Tomorrow we get to sleep in! Yeah! We played some games in the Rec Hall tonight. Started brain storming for clothes designs. We aren't going to the Pow Wow this weekend. They won't give us any Toilet paper and we are out.

July 15^th

I slept till about 9 today. I think. I had breakfast and didn't do anything in the morning. In the afternoon I went to Atikokan. I bought a black Point Zero t-shirt, a post card, toilet paper, and a can of 7-up. I sent the postcard to Mark. They have something planned for us at 11 tonight. We are thinking it is capture the flag. Well it wasn't capture the flag. It was a surprise water attack.

July 16^th

I went to the Pavilion in the afternoon. I called home and Erin answered the phone. I talked to my mom and dad. Supposedly it took a week and a half for my letter to get there. My mom and dad were a bit worried and they called Mark to see if he had heard from me. Mark got his letter before mom and Dad did. My mom said that Mark sounded glad to hear from me. My dad said that they got some hay off last week-end. Everything sounded like it was going really well. I watched two videos at the Pavilion and then I played football in French Lake. They spiked my hair. During snack we discussed the clothes. I couldn't sleep.

July 17^th

I painted in the morning at the park. We packed and had a lecture on bears. We are on our way to Thunder Bay and we drove through Sunshine Ontario. We got to Kakabeka Falls and set up camp. Then we set up camp and went to see the falls.

July 18^th

We got up got ready and went to see a fire presentation. In the afternoon we went shopping. I bought a long sleeved t-shirt, a sweater, and gravol. For supper we had pizza and then we went to see a movie. I saw Center Stage and then we snuck into the last hour of Gladiator. I sang on the way back and it was fun.

July 19^th

We went on a tour of Fort William. Our tour guide was kind of crappy, but not as bad as that guy we had in Virginia. We are waiting for the supervisors, they are late again! We had lunch and then we went to the Terry Fox Monument, then to a second hand store and then back to Mink. Renée owes me $1 and Red owes me $3.50 or something like that.

July 20^th

We cleared brush and snipped under some hydro lines with Kelly in the morning. In the afternoon I vacuumed window sills and then carried brush out of the woods by the Rec Hall. I tried to do laundry and did a really bad job of it. I got a letter from mom and Erin. PAID!

July 21^st

I painted in the morning. My laundry is finished. Some people got their evaluations today. Kelly didn't do mine, so I think it will be Mel that does it.

I packed in the afternoon and wrote home, Cheryl, and Mark.

Day 1 - Saturday

Worked in the kitchen in the AM. left on trip. 11:30 set out. Paddled with Miranda. We saw a blue Heron, a loon family, a rainbow, a rusted car, a pictograph of hands, a smiley face in moss. We had fajitas for supper. I was in a tent with Liddy and Maggie. It rained on and off today. We did a short portage around a waterfall. It took forever to find a campsite.

Day 2 - Sunday

We saw a blue spotted salamander when we were cleaning a campsite. We did a portage and another portage. Instead of taking the next portage we decided to go through a stream. We went over a beaver dam and then it was too "prairie like" so we had to go back down. We couldn't find the portage trail so we redid the one portage and then paddled some more and then we did a really cool portage with a waterfall, an underground stream, and streams we had to walk through. We sat in the waterfall and it was lots of fun. I paddled with Trish today. We saw a snapping turtle at night. I was in a tent with Maggie and Tracey.

Day 3

I paddled with Libby. I was cookee today. We saw a bald eagle. We cleaned a bunch of campsites and stopped early and got a good campsite. We went swimming with aqua diapers. Tonight I'm in a tent with Candice and Tracey. I think I have sun burnt shoulders. It rained a bit during the night.

Day 4

We got up and had breakfast, hot cereal and bannock. We paddled and cleaned campsites and then went back to our campsite from the night before because of a cheesy little thunder storm. We saw some more bald eagles. We paddled for a while in a bit of a thunderstorm. We got to a campsite and stayed there for the afternoon and evening. I went swimming. When we went to make supper the stove was kind of like a fire bomb. I was in a tent with Maggie and Candice.

Day 5

We woke up with Jannine clawing at our tent. We paddled and the day was pretty boring. We had a bit of a mud fight at the one portage. I paddled with Candice today. We had pizza in Atikokan for lunch. I got a card from Aunt Allie and Uncle Ate today.

July 27^th

We cleaned the warehouse at the park this morning and painted outhouses in the afternoon. I've been homesick since the 25^th. I talked to Jannine some after supper.

July 28^th

In the morning we swept and picked up garbage. In the afternoon we did the same and raked the beach. We went swimming at French. Dessert tonight was good. Steph made it. She is always a great cookee. The 8 day left today and the other 8 day got back. Jannine is gone but Kelly is here. When I was swimming I did a backwards summersault. There was a campfire tonight at the park but I didn't get there until the end because I was at the phones. I didn't use them though. I think I am going to get everyone (my family) a t-shirt or something from the gift shop. We are supposed to get a 30% discount or something. WALO tomorrow. I am doing the egg toss with Christine (her arm is sprained or something) and tent-up-tent-down with Talia. Today Trish said I was good at portaging a canoe.

July 29^th

Today was WALO @ Sleeping Giant. I cleaned the bathroom with morning. We came in second place for WALO. Talia and I put up the tent really fast which helped us pull forward. Christine and I did a good job playing catch with the egg. (We didn't drop it once). Dizzy Lizzy at the end put us into second from the lead. I had a good time and went swimming tonight. We also had a camp fire. The people here seem like more fun, but also more trouble. Mink has nicer cabins, but Sleepy has better washrooms and their cabins look like more fun but less privacy. I hung out with some of the girls here. I also played Crazy Eights with Danielle and asshole. I saw a shooting star (I think).

July 30^th

Sierra got into a little scramble with a porcupine last night and got a bunch of quills in her. I saw a shooting star last night. I woke up and had breakfast and went for a swim. I played some cards with Christine. We had an awesome brunch at noon. In the afternoon we went to the mall and then to one of Trish's friends after Wal-Mart to see if he can help out Sierra.

July 31^st

Today we cleaned the cabin and the laundry room and made a banner and didn't do very much. I am really tired. Some people told me at supper tonight that I wasn't chosen to take Danielle's place randomly, that I was chosen because I wouldn't normally have that opportunity. That kind of upset me. I should feel happy, but it feels like I got it now because people had pity for me and I don't want that. I got a letter from Mark. Four pages back and front double spaced (who knows why). My knees are sore. I'm not sure why but they've been bothering me for a couple of days. I'm not sure when it started. I did some laundry today including my sheets. I got something from my secret friend. I think it is Danielle but I'm not sure. I think it is and that sucks 'cause I didn't want to know who it was. Libby and Steph are hanging out in here. They read the letter from Mark. And they think he is a geek (big surprise, cause well he sort of is). It is thundering and lightning out right now. It has been hot as hell for the last couple of days. Hard for sleeping last night and it looks like it'll be the same tonight.

August 1^st

I'm cookee today with Libby. The power flickered a couple of times this morning. At lunch Sally drank a whole cup of ketchup. It was the grossest thing I've seen in a while. I had to pay her $2.50 and so did 3 others. I got a necklace from my secret friend today. It is still hot and stormy. We got to go back to bed until 10 today.

August 2^nd

We had to get the cabin spotless this morning and then we did some brushing along the roadside at Dawson. Sandy White and Ruth were here for lunch today and it was late. We were talked to for a while and then we did some more brushing, then we had supper. I wasn't feeling great. I went to the phones and talked to Mom and Dad. They said that Anne sent me a care package and that they were making me one. Mom also told me to phone Mark, but I didn't. I probably should if I get a chance.

August 3^rd

We cleared a trail at Scotty Lake today. The trail is for Brian the Biologist to do some study at the lake. Then we went to Atikokan for 30 minutes. I called Mark and talked to him for a bit. Not much is new with him. Renée is coming on the 8 day with us in Red's place.

August 4^th - Day 1

We left camp and headed into good ol' Atikokan. We took our bush plane down to Cache Bay where we spent the day getting gravel and putting it on the trail by the composting outhouse (which is the coolest). The Ranger Station is run on solar power. We are close to the States. The plan is to sleep on the dock under the stars. We went swimming. Sleeping under the stars was awesome. We saw bats, mosquitoes and I saw shooting stars, for real this time.

August 5^th - Day 2

We left the Ranger station after cutting up some stumps and logs. We set out, I paddled with Wendy. We did two portages, which we practically ran through, on in which I carried the heaviest barrel you will ever see. It rained pretty much all day, now we are in our tents warming up. Jannine and Wendy are fixing stuff up outside. I'm reminded of a time in Virginia when the guys were running around in the rain. Mark was wearing khakis and no shirt and he was soaked to the sin and looked so cute. Jannine and Wendy have the bad tent today and I was in a tent with Jen and Renée.

August 6^th - Day 3

I paddled with Jannine. We did 7 portages and saw falls. We tried to race two wardens, and then we kicked them off their campsite. We had a fire and drank pink water. I was in a tent with Tracey and Lindsey.

August 7^th - Day 4

I paddled with Lindsey. We went really fast in the morning. We had two portages for the day. At night we swam and I'm in a tent with Renée and Lindsey.

August 8^th - Day 5

I paddled with Jen today. It was really challenging for me because I had to sit in the stern and she wasn't a very strong canoer. I had trouble not getting angry. We stayed at a cool campsite that was really high. I was in a tent with Ally and Lindsey. We went skinny dipping in the evening.

August 9^th - Day 6

I paddled with Ally. When we were swimming I dropped my bra to the bottom of the lake. I threw my clothes into the water to wash them, and then I jump in on top of them. Ally got it for me. I was in a tent with Renée. We saw a pictograph of a man paddling a canoe.

August 10^th - Day 7

I paddled with Lindsey. We had our two longest portages. We also had our first warm sunny day. We went swimming and tanning at a beach at lunch. We went skinny dipping and cliff jumping at night. I talked to Jannine by the fire for a while at night about the magic of Quetico and how amazing the summer is.

August 11^th - Day 8

I paddled with Tracey. We cleaned 42 campsites on our trip. I think that is a new Mink Lake record. When we got to French everyone was there waiting for us. We found out that Shauna has mono and is leaving tomorrow. When we got back to camp we did all of our cleanup and then packed for Thunder Bay. Then we got mail. I got a letter from Cheryl and a package from home. It had cookies, real fruit gummies, a necklace, a surprise bag, and a Superman t-shirt. When we got to Thunder Bay we were locked out and had to find someone to let us into our campsite. We set up our tents and then we all stood in a circle together for the last time. We saw shooting stars and the Northern Lights. We all talked in Shauna's tape recorder. We went to bed. I was in a tent with Red and Tracey.

August 12^th

Shauna left and Andrea is gone to a wedding. We went to this nice restaurant for breakfast. I had a mushroom omelette with cheese. It was good. Then we went shopping. I was by myself even though it is against the rules. I bought a pair of pants, an ABBA cd, stuff for my secret friend, and some food for the train. We went bowling and I bowled a 116 at 5 pin. It was fun and I think I was in 3^rd place out of 6. We hung out at night in the cabins and I went to sleep before it got too late.

August 13^th

I finally caught up on all the journal entries I missed. We went to the beach in the afternoon and had a bbq.

August 14^th

We spent the day cleaning and doing Jambo stuff. I was cookee with Lauren. The interviewer and photographer from the National Post were here. I worked on my paddle some.

August 15^th

Today we had our tour from a biologist and a forester. I thought about Mark most of the day. I missed him so much today, I don't know why. I'm really looking forward to seeing him. I went to the phones tonight. Cally answered and I talked to Mom. I called collect. We worked on our play some more and went to bed.

August 16^th

We packed up and headed on our way. We stopped in Atikokan to get money for the clothes which will cost $73.00!!! We got to Cedarbough and Jambo started. So far it isn't that great. Mel told me off today because Jen wasn't helping put the tent up, but she sort of apologized about it later. Some guy came and sat beside me and asked if I was a ranger. When I said yes he said that I looked older. I think he was trying to hit on me. I paid for my clothes. My new pants got gum on them, but I got it out. I'm really looking forward to seeing Mark.

August 17^th

Last night our tent leaked and I woke up in a puddle. I didn't waterproof anything so everything got soaked. We did our team activities and our camp activities, it was fun. During the day I wore my bikini and rain suit. Really comfortable when you are running around. I creatively propped the middle of the tent up with a log so that the bottom would dry up faster. We had a toga dance at night and I hung out at the campfire for a while.

August 18^th

Our camp came in second out of 4 and my team came in third out of 10. We had a much drier, better sleep. We had a nice brunch and headed back to camp. Tomorrow I'm going to the Pow wow, but I won't be able to dance because of my period.

August 19^th

The Pow wow was fun. I danced outside of the circle with Julie and Talia and twisted my ankle, but it only hurt a bit. We stained in the morning at the Ranger Station on the reserve. They don't keep things as clean there as they do at the other Ranger Stations in the park. The community here seems sort of run down, but a lot of people had nice trucks and satellite dishes. I felt carsick on the trip in the morning. On the way back I used gravol.

August 20^th

The bass tournament (Atikokan Bass Classic) was okay. In the morning I moved trailers with Steph, Mel, Julie, and Trish. Steph doesn't like Mel one bit and it always puts her in a bad mood to work with her. Then we went to the White Otter Inn for breakfast. We had to get up at like 4:30 am! In the afternoon I put the lids on the weigh in buckets and I got to hold a fish, but I dropped it. I don't feel very good tonight. I think I'm just really tired. I'm looking forward to going home and seeing Mark again. I miss him. Julie told us stories about her boyfriends today. This (her third) year hasn't been that great. I don't think she is going to come back again. I don't know if I am going to apply back, just cause Mel is a bit on the annoying side. I don't hate her like some people do but she sure isn't my favourite person either. I wish I knew what I was going to do in my future or at least what I want to do. I love Mark, but I wish I knew if we are going to stay together because if we aren't I don't know if I want to spend so much of my time thinking and concerning myself over him.

August 21^st

I can't believe the time has gone by so fast, and that Mark only wrote once, but that doesn't bother me too much. I still haven't gotten Anne's package. I wonder if it will get here. I hope to hear from Mark before I leave. We got to sleep in until 11 today. I'm pretty hungry now. We had to take everything out of our beds and closets and clean. We went to the Pavilion and watched the move The Beach. We got back around 11 and went to bed. The fire alarm went off twice before I fell asleep, for absolutely no reason. Steph and a couple of others stole the gong last night and put it in another cabin.

August 22^nd

We did highway cleanup this morning. And my suspicions of a bear from yesterday are right. More garbage was all over and there was bear shit. I really want to see a bear. I took pictures of 3 moose this morning. The year end bbq was good. We had steak. The Who Wants to be a Ranger contest and the Guess the Food contest were funny. After our skit a lot of us were crying including Jannine. Tonight was the first actual bear sighting. Mel made us stay in the kitchen for a while. We saw the bear walking by the garbage. It was so exciting. I was standing just feet away from where the bear was on the basketball court. I could see its nose and everything. We stayed up until the bear was caught. Andrew and Victor helped. They were awesome. Victor shot at the bear to scare it away from our cabins. The bear was about 2-3 years old. It was really aggressive. It was the best experience of the summer. "Oh my god, guys the bear is on the basketball court. Oh my god, oh my god, it's coming closer guys".

August 23^rd

Last day at camp
Late night
year books

August 24^th

Rangers went home
We took the train back, most of us to Toronto. I remember a lot of crying, hanging out in the observation train, card board trains, and saying goodbye to a great group of friends

September 3^rd

Well, I'm home from camp and settled in again. I've changed somehow and I can't quite put a finger on how yet. The whole time I was at camp I missed Mark and longed to be with him, to touch him and to kiss him. I'd talked to him a couple of times on the phone before tonight. Mark came over at about 6. We made and ate supper. We went back to his house and went canoeing. He mentioned that I was being quiet. We went back to his house and we were going to watch a movie with his parents, but I didn't really want to, so I talked him into going for a walk with me. We didn't go for a very long walk. We went and sat on a raft behind his house. We talked some and we kissed some. I let him kiss me first, instead of how I usually feel like I'm making the first move. I don't know what was wrong, but it just didn't feel the way it used to. The excitement just wasn't there like it usually is. When I talked to Mark on the phone earlier, he said he had a present that he was meaning to get me, but that I had to be there with him. Well, that didn't happen tonight. I wonder what it is. I kind of hope it isn't something serious. I don't know, before that's what I would have wanted, but now it is just weird. There is a Wallflowers song that says, "I know I haven’t changed, but I know I ain't the same". That is kind of how I feel about our relationship right now. I still love Mark, but that feeling doesn't posses me anymore, it's just there. The excitement's gone, where did it go? Will it be back.

September 4^th

I didn't do much of anything today. Tonight I talked to Renée on MSN. I miss Rangers so much. I went for a walk tonight and watched the sun set on the beach, the clouds, the stars, and the moon. I cried. I can't believe I miss it so much. I think that it might have something to do with why things don't feel the same with Mark. I'm sad that the summer is over and I'm scared that my relationship with Mark might be over before a whole lot longer.

September 11^th

Things are back to normal with Mark and I. I was at his house on Sunday night and we picked up our relationship from where we were before the summer started.