Welcome to the BlueShift extended profile page for JoeRocket777. Have a look see at what AIM won't let me have due to the character limits!
ALL OPINIONS AND/OR COMMENTS EXPESSED HEREIN ARE NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY BY ANYONE.
IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY ANY OF THIS, YOU ARE GAY.
Dak: So, Bart...do you like skating
Bart: Yeah
Dak: Do you like it as much as you like the c*ck?
Bart: No...
Attention...this is your captain speaking. We'd like to thank you for flying BlueShift Airlines: When you've got to get there so fast your nuts spin, fly BSA. We are currently cruising at an altitude of...well, Bobby the Co-pilot says he doesn't know so...we're somewhere over the United Stat...What?! Afhanistan?! Um, yeah, we're somewhere over wherever and resident terrorist Akmed would like to say few words:
::Akmed:: Hulla Allah ismed imunda shentigani, American Pig Dogs *spit*.
Thank you Akmed for that lovely verbal tour of Afghanistan. On behalf of all our crew and staff, I'd like to say we hope you'll enjoy your flight. Now, sit back, relax, and enjoy the in-flight shrapnel.
Bling, BLING
Anal Colt
Anal RTV sealant
His engines going to Ultra Sonic! Wrrreeee!
So...you're Dyke?
Right in the mean bean machine!
It's a complicated process
No more Red Bull for you, sir
::Playing "The Getaway":: 'Cause This Is Thriller, Thriller Night...
Make the spinny thingy stop!!
..and your little hobbit feet
Those tiny handed germans
"It's not a tumor!"
::David and Akira talking about driveshafts::
David: In the front?
*Akira gives David "You-moron" look*
Akira: No, in the back....
Lineage Whore
After discussing how Dak might get a new 7 series BMW, David decides to take insurance fraud into his own hands....
::Dak on phone with Laura as David makes gestures::
Honestly he didn't say anything!
::Gabe standing next to his V-6 Camaro::
Gabe: V-8 Cobra?
Dak: Yep
Gabe: Close to 400Hp?
Dak: Yep
Gabe: and feeding?
Dak: Most likely
Gabe: Bring it on...
::The Crew sitting in McDonald's::
Laura: What are you starring at?
Dak: seventy thousand dollars
Laura: oh, the car?
Dak: yes, something more attractive
Laura: you mean the one that looks like an accord?
*everyone gives Laura the go to hell look*
::An internal conversation within Laura's mind::
Ok, now that I have the two little worms in the palm of my hand...well, that would be a little crowded; how about in the palm of either hand? Yeah, but blond is so out this year...whoa, concentrate Laura; we don't want to go off rambling about Brad Pitt and two chicks again, do we? No. Okay, then, what do you do? Should I date one of them or both? Who knows how that'd fit in bed...CONCENTRATE! Ok, How about one on every other day...and the I'll date the other the other days not on every other day! Yes, it's perfect. YOU EVIL SLUT! What are you talking about? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D DO THAT! Yes you do, I did it twice already. YEAH, YOU'VE GOT A POINT THERE. See, now shut up. BITE ME, WHORE! Ok that's it, here comes the pencil again
::POKE, POKE, POKE::
Ok, now that she's shut up we can get down to business. So, why don't you just date them both? Yeah, cos you're a hearless B***h. Yeah, but blond is so out this year...
:bart and greg: "Johnny's daddy was takin him fiiiiishin..."
:david: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
Dak: You think that's enough cold water?
Greg: Enough to make a hot shower miserable
::they then proceeded to poor the cold water over Bart as he unsuspectingly showered. Results were predictable.
::Gabe as Dak's pipe came down on his head::
Owww, get this motherf**ker off me!
An Acura RSX is sitting at a light chillin...a single cab, step side, 4.0L I-6 (possibly a straight 4) Ford Ranger pulls up next to him revvin with the front completely packed with people. The RSX looks over in amazement at what this moron is doing. The driver of the Ranger politely calls out the window:
"You Can't touch this!"
I think we all know what happened shortly afterward.
::In the Neighborhood Market parking lot; Juice has just arrived and doesn't know about the aforementioned pipe dropping in the Z::
Dak: dude, I think I messed up my car. It sounds funny.
Juice: really? What was it?
Dak: I don't know...you'll have to listen to it
::Dak proceeds to fire up the Z with it's "V8" like growl.
Juice: Whoooaa!
::Bart after swigging Hennessey::
Holy (explitive deleted)! What the hell is in this!? Holy (explitive deleted), I'm foaming at the mouth!
::The crew and Larry talking about padded bras::
Dak: Some girls look better with bras...I won't name names
Derek: *coughs* Laura...
- pause -
Larry: Bondo
::Dak and David putting the muffler back on the Z and jacking up the front end when Derek walks up::
Derek: Is that safe? It ain't gonna come down on ya is it?
David: It can't go any further than the wood blocks
::Derek walks away then suddenly the pipe drops down and scares the crap out of the both of them::
::Greg, Juice, and David at Creekmore on the Merry Go Round::
Greg: Dude, I was just gonna...oh crap, dang, I don't feel so hot. Oh, man, stop this thing, I'm gonna hurl...
::David and Juice keel over in laughter::
These are the words Juice Master Jay said to me awhile ago and they really got to me but I never bothered to put them down:
Blue Shift to me is just friends who have cars... But we're friends first
No truer words were ever spoken
::Bart starting his car in the morning when it's got a little too much oil in it::
Group: *Hack, cough, weeze*
::David talking to Juice online::
Joerocket777: what if I called you Juice Master Jay in the profile?
Joerocket777: has it been done already?
Joerocket777: I'm trying for something more noble than just Juice
PimpJuice454: lol Has somebody called me JMJ in a profile? No
*Driving along down the street and see a person walking, rolls down the windows*
Greg: HEY!!!~
Dak: Laura, your three year old nephew can carry on a more intelligent conversation with me than you can
Laura: Are you trying to make out with me
Dak: ......
At Brittany's house with Monica in the bathroom
Brittany: Monica, come out right now!
Monica: I'm naked!
Brittany: Literally?
Monica: YES!
::all the guys eyes widen::
Derek: I'm could drink with you guys!
Brittany: Then I could piss on your face while you're drunk!
::what David heard::
Brittany: The I could sit on your face...
David:: Hell, you can do that when I'm not drunk!
Monica is in only a towel and wants cigarettes
David: How badly do you want those cigarettes?
Monica: You want me to come dance on the table for you?
David: Please?
Monica: If you get me two packs I will
David: I've got, like, $47 in my wallet...
Monica: Can I have all of it?
David: Dangit, she called my bluff
Akira 99EX: u seen the new Ford GT?
Joerocket777: yeah
Akira 99EX: thing looks bad @$$
Joerocket777: yup
Akira 99EX: just now saw it
Joerocket777: wow, you're late
Akira 99EX: lol
Akira 99EX: its a Ford
Akira 99EX: i dont keep up with Fords
Joerocket777: of course you don't keep up with them....
Greg: I was gonna go into the impedence of wire and the importance of gauge but they would have just gotten all confused
Greg (again: It was Blaupunkt's top of the line about five years ago...it's old skool and has the best sound ever!
fahrfrumwurkin55: ok fine, you probe
Joerocket777: what? are you calling me an underpowered car or seomthing?
farhfrumwurkin55: no.. im not calling you an underpowered car.. im calling you a long, ductile object used for goin places you wouldnt usually go"
This one goes out to muh man Juice Masta Jay!
Some guy in the CustomCivics forum: Looks like a park bench came down on his car! Now I know why you hate Hawndas
::David is sitting in anticipation as the Dodge SRT-4 video is playing. The guy gets his brother's keys, goes to the SRT-4, sits down, clutches in, then turns the keys:: David's eyes get wider than saucers!
Joerocket777 : but I prolly need to go take a shower
Joerocket777 : cos I got churhc in 45 minutes
Akira 99EX : yea
Joerocket777 : get this hair out of my hair
Akira 99EX : lol
Akira 99EX : yea i hate when there is hair in my hair
"How old are you?...10?12? You either very immature or about as smart as a box of hair."
Chris at IHOP with everyone. Derek is talking about his car...
Derek: Yeah, the guy said he could make it fast!
Chris: They'd have to wreck it and get a new car, first!
If there are any quotes missing from this Version that you would like to see posted email them to me and I'd be glad to represent!
