My War
Im in a big war by myself
Me against all odds and its not good for my health
They got me fucked up and aint giving me a choice
Always wanting me to listen when they wont even hear my voice
Wont listen to wut the fuck I say
So wut can I do if they want everything their way?
Fuckin up my life and now they got me in a war
In my eyes I see that my death isn’t that far
Soon enuf ill blow up like a human bomb
So much shit in me that I probably wont make it to my senior prom
They take me as a joke
They think everything I say and do is dope
So they put me through all this shit that I dont deserve
Making my life miserable and forealz its getting on my nerves
My anger tank is getting full and im getting hot
My temper getting shorter and someone just might get shot
Im focused on this shit cuz my life was just getting good
Now they gotta come at me like ima gangsta frum the hood
I never done anything but live my life the way it was ment to be lived
I let them go once but now I don’t really give…
They pushed me to the limit
And I aint gonna rest until this shit is finished
So my war starts now and here
Im alone by myself with no backup no where
But if I die im comin back for haunts
Haunt all u mutha fuckaz in ur sleeps so I can taught
And tell ya that I wasnt fuckin around
U fucked mines up now its my turn to flip things around
Scars
Livin this life with many scars
Don’t kno y I have them when i never did any harm
I never did anything to deserve such a beating
All I did was live my life now im constantly bleeding
Invisible bleeding that nobody can see but me
Because my scars were all left inside of me
My heart broken, beated down, bitched at, put downed
So much shit surrounding me that ima drown
Lost my first and only love at a young age
Didn’t kno wut luv was till she came
Skys cleared and roses bloomed when she was around
Now shes gone and its cloudy and Im no where to be found
When she left she took apart of me with her
If ya look inside of me u see a scar with her name there
Been beated down and bitched at by many people
Mostly family members that always pop like a pimple
Always putting things on me for some reason
Left me angered with a life that has no seasons
Always down and mad
Aint nothing else to do but turn the house bad
If they’re gonna hate me it better be for wut I do
So ima fuck things up and do sumin new
Turn things around on them and make them hate me forealz
Live with em? I rather talk to the devil and make a deal
So many scars apon me and still coming
More scars approaching to make me the scar king
Now u kno my story
Aint nothing for u to be worried
I aint leavin this world yet
But when I do im taking these scars with me even if god wont let
Untitled
more than a year has gone by and im still missing u
more than 365 days and im still luvin u
at this very moment i dunno wut to do
i try not to think of u but its so hard to do
still reminising on our happy days
to the day we went our separate ways
in my mind i still see ur face
and nobody would take that place
cuz i wanna hold u one more time
kiss u and call u mine
we havent spoke for so long
after all these months seems like ur gone
but deep in my heart i kno ur there
cuz deep down there ull never dissapear
when our eyes met it was luv it seemed
ever since then u were in my dreams
u still are and probably will be
dunno wut the future holds for me but we'll see
ive been so alone and its been so cold
every since u left ive never been whole
now i see u with a better man
happy and smiling with a new luv plan
as much as i hate the sight
i have to face the light
he'll make u much happier
so i got nothing to fear
ur happy and thats all i wanna kno
thats the only reason i letchu go
cuz i wasnt ur happiness source
all i did was make things worse
so im sorrie for everything i caused
now im just plain old lost
hopefully ur future is bright and happy
as long as it is then i, too, will be happy
Feelings From Inside
hurt from the start
never wanted to be apart
broken dreams
that has never been seen
never been reached
and still wont be achieved
a happy heart
that fell apart
broken in pieces
now living with a weakness
always wanted to be together
but i guess things dont last forever
never ment to lie
but now im dying inside
sorrie for everything
for forgiveness i would do anything
u dont have to believe a word i say
but i DO think about u everyday
always thinkin about that beautiful face
that will never be lost, not even in space
and everytime i looked into ur eyes
i felt i could touch the sky
the feelings r still the same
but now they bring some pain
just wanted to let this out
and show wut im all about
so please forgive me for everything ive done
i only wanted to be ur number one
i dunno how to end this
since i cant give u a goodbye kiss
but ill let u know
that i still luv u so
If I Could Go Back In Time
if i could go back in time i'd wish i never looked into ur eyes
then i wouldnt always want you by my side
if i could go back in time i'd wish we never held hands
then i wouldnt have to always want ur hand in mines again
if i could go back in time i'd wish i never hugged u
then i wouldnt have to wish that i was next to u
if i could go back in time i'd wish we never kissed
then i wouldnt have to have memories to miss
if i could go back in time i'd wish we never spent time together
then i wouldnt have to think we were gonna be forever
if i could go back in time i'd wish i'd never fell in love with u
then i wouldnt have to always miss u
if i could go back in time i'd wish we never met
then i wouldnt have to think about u before i slept
if i could go back in time i'd wish we could start over
then i wouldnt have to know that we were done and over.
Never Gets Better
i thought life just got better
but my hopes gave up like a torn up love letter
when i thought i could finally live my life
God stabs me in the back with a knife
drills the knife in and just takes away my happiness
the little happiness that i have left, ive lost focus
no fun during my vacation off
i feel like everywhere i go there's a boss
people say its ok
but not if its everyday
everyday trapped in hell
feels like im surrounded by a cell
nowhere to go or do
just like a bum begging for food
i feel like a bum now
begging for freedom now
but i guess this is how life is
god never lets nobody live it
things never get better and probably wont
i guess i just gotta let go of my hopes
even though ill always wander
i gotta face it, things never gets better.
Moving On
after all this time that you've been gone
i think that its finally time for me to move on
i don't know wut ive been waiting for
it's like i've been trapped behind a locked door
waiting for something to happen
a chance for me not to be forgotten
but it's too late cuz now i'm lost
i've lost this war that hasn't even been fought
when i think of u i feel the burn on my scars
even if we're far apart no matter where u are
this pain i cried
i always tried to hide
for all these years
i've lost many tears
but nobody cares
because i never cared to share
but it's ok things will change
cuz thats how life is played, like a game
but it's been too long
and it's about time i moved on
i've waited so long with all this pain
but ur doing good so i can't complain
i love u now and probably forever on
but now i'm ready...i'm finally moving on
Skool Shit
skool got me stressed out
i need some time to get out
depression has moved out but stress has moved in
another war but this time i must win
education isnt getting in my head
info going in and out like a thread
history is just plain boring
nobody likes reading 1000 boring stories
especially when they make no damn sense after ur done
then u take a damn test and u get a score of ONE
chemistry is just plain old chemistry
too much shit to remember that u just drift off into a dream
well at least is better than history
that class just makes u feel like its morning
yea i hate that class thats y im mentioning it again
and u'll probably read about it again
homeroom is just as bad as the REAL classes
the fucking teacher is a bitch in glasses
algebra is just boring and slow
so boring im forgetting everything, i just dont know
lunch is the best =) cuz its not BORING
yummy in my tummy at 11:20
fourth hour is actually OKAY
cuz u draw and play computer most of the day
easy A+ fo me without damaging a braincell
ah, wut am i saying? im living in hell
anyways english class is...FINE
without it i wouldnt be writing these...rhymes
its not as hard as HISTORY but its slowly getting there
but i wont fear cuz stress is alrdy here
skool sucks but what can u do?
that history teacher is a fatter version of winnie the poo
but i wont diss him cuz im NICE
but fuck his fatass, im sorrie for his wife
well...if he even has one
i wouldnt be suprised if he had none
opps, this isnt supposed to be about that fat dude
im sorrie for to u readers for being rude
well, this is my skool shit
like it or not, i dont really give a shit
okie, im outtie homiez
this be the one and only...2 Lee
2-Fer
my name is 2-fer
given by Jennifer
shes mean but i dont hate her
im nice but im NOT a her
emily is mean too and shes a Hmoob HER
but MAN i love eating PHO
i like it spicy but not with too much pepper
i dont like it when it tastes like fire
i could eat pho forever
ill stop never
cuz we r always together
thats wut makes me clever
and trust me cuz i aint no liar
people say im gay but i say wutever
cuz i know that they r gayer
and sooner or later
they DO become gayer
plus im the MBP, most beautiful PLAYER
and NO i do not like MAI DER
but i have nothing against GER
i have nothing against anyone else either
but anyways this is gay so im out, later!
What the fuck...
Im moving on or say i say so
deep in my heart i hear a NO
i dunno wuts going on with me
my heart is saying im blind and i cannot see
but i dunno wut it is
my heart wont tell me wut it is
i ask "What the fuck is it?" but i only get beats
beats here beats there beats everywhere
but when im close to HER it a whole band
when im close to her i just wanna grab her hand
i dunno wuts wrong
i just hope it wont last long
i wish i could reach my heart's control pannel
cuz these feelings r too much to handle
i dont wanna go though with it again
too much pain, and i dont want anymore to be gained
but i wonder, what the fuck happened
what the fuck caused this shit to, again, happen
i locked these things up but their back
im guessing it was her, she went in my heart and hacked
why cant it leave me be
all i wanted was to be homies
love, stop haunting me
i just want to be happy cant u see?
Cupid, please stop shooting arrows
cant u guys see i am not her hero?
and if its not u guys then what the fuck
i guess i just got no luck
but now what do i do?
cuz im back in love with you
my heart is too weak to hide it
my heart doesnt want to hide it
my heart cant hold it
my heart...is just too weak to hold it
forgive me, i am sorry, i mean it, i really do...
cuz...i think ive fallen back in love with u...
what the fuck...
what the fuck...
what the fuck is up with me? i dunno
what the fuck is this shit? i dunno
just forgive me for i cannot stop
sorry...i just cant stop
Together
finally the time has come
you and me, again, as one
dreaming of dreams for this moment
now it's here, now set up the tent
i'm gonna stay here for a while
just to see u smile
i don't care about the other people
and i don't wanna be ur hero
i just wanna be with you
be in ur arms while u act a fool =)
people can talk thier shit about us
but i rather have that than not having an us
i can't say that i'll be perfect
i'll be good whenever u throw a fit
i'll change to make things go well
cuz i don't want to go through another farewell
i can't say that we'll last forever
but i'll try my best to keep us together
Miss Ya
how do i start?
ur, once again, in my heart
walking with u keeps me energized
ur so wonderful, that i just realized
in class i can't help but stare at you
learning or taking a nap ur just so cute
looking in ur eyes just makes me wanna hug ya
hugging ya makes me just wanna love ya
might be too late but i'll slow things down
i don't want no traffic jams like down town
sorrie if i get out of control at times
just hope that u know i dedicate u these rhymes
just writing this poem makes me wanna talk to ya
i guess what i'm trying to say is that i miss ya!
Why Your So Special
people be asking me wuts so special about you
i say i dunno but they say there has to be something about you
i guess it's the way u smile
just to see it i'd walk miles and miles
maybe its they way i daze off in ur eyes
everytime i look into them i feel as if i can fly
maybe it's the way u talk in korean
cheating in our arguments, thats just so mean
maybe i'ts they way u hug me
those arms around me neck, man i must be lucky
maybe it's the way u act like a dummy
even if ur a fool, ur still my hunny
maybe it's those cute pink cheeks
first time i saw them i knew u were gonna be sweet
maybe it's because ur always so nice and caring
always worrying about me, at night and in the morning
maybe it's way ur hand fits in mine
or maybe it's the way u make me feel fine
when im with u im happy, and thats foreals
i dunno wut makes u special to me but u just are
ur special to me no matter wut, even if ur from mars
ur special to me and i cant explain it
u've been special to me since we met
so yea sorrie if i can't explain why
but take these examples as facts...they r not lies
ur so beautiful...
...ur so special
Anything
i'd do anything for u
as long as ur happy, boo
u dunno how much u mean to me
but all i want is for u to be happy
i dont matter in this situation
i'm all about u, not just in my imagination
i'm sorrie for all the things i've done wrong
i'd do anything turn things around
but i'm out of the past and in the present
but yet i'm still fucking up this new relationship i'm in
same girl, same love, new life
i wanna make u happy, even if i have to sacrifice my life
i wanna be there for u all the time
but i can't garentee that i'll make things fine
i never wanna see u mad or sad
i always wanna see u smile that smile u always had
i don't want to make u do things u dont want to
but all i really want is u
again, i can't promise things will go well
but i promise i'll change so our boat will sail
i'm just so sorrie...
please forgive me...
i'll do anything...
cause i want us to have only one thing...
our love
Something 4 My Babe
u make me insane, but u take away the pain
u clear up the haze, u dry up the rain
u open up the lanes, ur something i want to maintain
cuz when im with u theres no reason to complain
its kinda like im the fire and ur my propane
ur my motivation, my inspiration
u keep my brain in rotation
when im sick ur my medication
and when i die u'll be my resurrection
this love that i have is unconditional
these words i speak r critical
no matter wut ill be there for u when u fall
these haters hate but together we'll take them all
dont worry bout a thang baby ill walk u down the long hall
and together our love will grow tall
it'll grow strong, and it'll last long
i wont lead us in the direction that is wrong
ill miss u every second of every day
and i love u more than wut words can say
there r things i just cant explain
and ur heart is something i wish to gain
but we're moving slowly and i wish not to speed things up
as we move there will be trouble, but i just dont give a fuck
just stay by my side and we'll make it through
stay by my side and i will always love u
2moro
Back then we were almost one
so close but we couldnt do it, it was gone
we went our seperate ways due to our decisions
for years my mind and soul was just a confusion
i was so lost...then i realized u were my guide
i realized that to move on i need u by my side
so i kept close as possible to u
but i wasnt close enough to u
finally u accepted me to be by ur side once again
a lot of people reject us but i dont give a damn
cause i can finally move on with my life
u are with me again...God must be feeling nice
for giving me this chance to make things better
better than before so we can have a future
with this chance my love has grown for u
stronger each day, ill do wuteva i have to
just to keep u happy and near
with this feeling, babe, we have nothing to fear
im ur punk and ur my dork
this is all we need to make this work
all those times ive been looking for better dayz
with u, u make everyday better in every way
better dayz have past, now im looking for more
our love is strong, but i promise it'll grow 2moro
3 Words
whats a guy like me to do
when all he can really thing of is you?
a girl like you with a guy like me
this has to be an unsolved mystery
but all he really wants is to be love
and to be held and hugged
like a big teddy bear
that always says whatever she wants to hear
but he never says what she really wants
so he comes out saying those words once
she liked it and so did he
when those words are said it took away the misery
they used it for it was true
and made them never to forget they were boo's
those 3 strong words
is all that is wanted to be heard
every person wants to hear those words too
those 3 words...I LOVE YOU
Untitled
busting a rhyme cuz its been a long time
trying to get the gears working in my mind
trying to move on in life
and possibly search for a wife
but thats the far future and im looking at 2moro
hoping to stay away from all the pain and sorrow
just to stay healthy and happy
i have to somehow get wealthy
get a job or two
as long as i get some dough its coo'
but i dont wanna get stressed from skoo'
and drop out like some people do
but good thing that i got a girl
and to me she means the world
nothing more can make things better
cuz of her i feel as light as a feather
she lights me up in a way nobody has
she gets me mad but its not that bad
i love her and i think she loves me =)
but all that matters is that shes happy
as long as she smiles and laughs
my life will be able to last
guess this is enuf work for my brain
but its not enuf to bring me fame
its coo' thats not my goal
when im bored this is where i go
i do this fo fun
for someone pretty dumb
im pretty ok eh?
but never doubt meh
now u know wut im all about
ha...aight now im out
Love Seasons
I will love you in the Spring when the grass is green
during the rainy days I will make the sun be seen,
I will love you in the Summer when the sky is blue
on the hot days I will be the shade to keep you cool,
I will love you in the Autumn when the leaves turn brown
on the windy days I'll shield you and turn the wind around
I will love you in the winter when the snowflakes fall
during the chili days I will hold you and not let you be cold at all,
I will love you in all the seasons through thick and thin
everyday of every season my love will always grow deep within
The Demon (Chapter 1)
Inside of me there is anger
outside is a happy figure.
The anger is curled up into a form
around it lies a heavy storm.
The form is not human nor is it an animal
it's eyes are small but yet filled of evil.
The face does not smile but yet does not frown
with no emotion this creature moves without a sound.
With incredible strength and lightning speed
this creature does not intend to do any good deeds.
Luckily it is trapped inside a cell
inside the habitat is like burning hell.
This creature is filled with anger from its owner
it feeds on anger and hate when it's body roars of hunger.
Ready at any time to come out of it's jail
it bangs on the cells but at the end it fails.
Knowing it's failure it does not weep
for this Demon, inside of me, just goes to sleep...
Awakening (Chapter 2)
It eats and feeds
taking in what it needs.
Anger and hate, it doesn't hesitate
it chews and swallow them up without giving 'em a taste.
Larger and larger it grows
what power it holds? nobody knows.
It takes one last bite as it grows full
as it's eyes open you can see the evil unfold.
The cell breaks down and the Demon is loose
the Demon is free, everyone spread the news!
The Demon takes a step towards freedom
but the blood around won't let it run.
Too powerful to handle, the blood lets it go
out for one second, it has already made many foes.
The blood, the veins, and the muscles
none of them can surpass the power the Demon holds.
This battle, the Demon, has won
beware, for the awakening of the Demon has begun...
Back To Sleep (Chapter 3)
Destroying everything in it's path
the Demon releases his wrath.
Nothing in this body can stop it from going crazy
for with just a glare the Demon makes things hazy.
The Demon steps up face to face with a bright figure
the air this figure brings is much thinner.
The Demon unleashes a powerful thrash
the figure reflects it with a bash.
Evenly match, the Demon releases his rage
but only to find itself back inside it's cage.
The Demon, in a deep angry mood
is desperately searching to feed on more food.
But as it looks on it sees the figure gathering back it's parts
at last the Demon sees that it was the powerful Heart.
Knowing the Hearts presence it does not weep
for this Demon, inside of me, just goes back to sleep.
Just Crazy
I just dont know why i feel this way,
my emotions r mixed up, and i just dunno wut to say,
life is good, but i'll probably mess it all up,
like i always do no matter what,
everything in my life, right now, is positve,
but my brain goes tick tock and makes things negative,
the things i know that are good, i always think of "wut if?"
kinda like how i wonder if i should live,
i imagine too many things, and worry too much,
sometimes i wonder why i give a fuck,
but then the faces of my loved ones come to picture,
my heart reacts and, in my brain, pulls a trigger,
i realize i do it for them and only them,
without them my life would just be dim,
until i can get my act straight, in this world i dont matter,
i'll just act and try, for them, make things better,
i dont know, but all i know is that i just gotta keep my loved ones happy,
i just dont know, ha, maybe im just crazy...
Reason To Cry
She cried, I tried, to be by her side,
Her happiness slowly died, and I promised never to say good-bye.
I came to stay and never wanted to leave,
Together we prayed for our love to be
safe and secure, to never be taken away by no other,
we promised to always be together forever.
I was there when she cried,
but will she be there for me when I cry?
She won't...
I already know...
You ask me "why?"
If she leaves me, that's my only reason to cry.
Final Shot
down by 1, my team needs to score,
this is a game that we cant ignore!
our rivalry team we just have to win,
the game was intense just like it always been.
10 seconds left my team passes the ball to me,
i take the shot...i hope i make history...
relases feels good...touch feels nice...
if this goes in we win the fight!
BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!
the buzzer goes off,
my shot hits a swiss that sounds so soft.
the crowd goes wild and we win the game!
that shot has forever put me to fame.
i go and celebrate with my team...
BEEP!!! BEEP!!!
AW MAN! it was all just a dream!
Headache
all i hear is fucking thumping
sounds like some fucker is fucking stomping
or banging on some big ass fucking drums
ionno but my brain is fucking going numb
feels like theres a leak somewhere in my brain
god fucking damn! this is one painful pain
i think im thinking to much or is it just a thought?
ionno but man at this moment i dont really give a fuck!
im dying slowly cuz god fucking hates me
well fuck u! u've not been much help lately!
well, u never was anyways
man my head is going in all different ways!
snapz migraines here and there
fuck! migraines everywhere!
hell open up ur gates...
ah nvm, its just a fucking headache!
Me?
tears come to my eyes
but i dunno why
must be my depression
or how hard i search for perfection
who feels my pain?
who sits with me in the rain?
who...? nobody!
nobody understands
cuz i live on different lands
living in my own world
with no guys or gurls
just me and only me
but not even i can see
the pain i go through
when i look in the mirror i see...who?
exactly, i just dunno
i see bits not a whole
like a big puzzle that i cant solve
sooner or later i will dissolve
into nothing at all
and soon i will fall
into hell
with my soul to sell
to anyone who will take the pain away
not living is the only way
people cannot solve this problem
cuz it doesnt involve them
they dont know wut goes on in my mind
they dont know why i write these rhymes
maybe cuz it kills time?
or maybe cuz i like the rhyming lines?
haha, once again i just dunno
i believe that im crazy...loco
u know...
...no wait u dont
and no i wont
tell u why i believe in my belief
its just my grief
my mind is lost and my heart is gone
was i like this all along?
i was trapped in an illusion for years
i wish the sky would rain to cover my tears
but tell me...
how does one cry when one has lost one's emotions?
depression, fustration, devotion, they're all just confusions
making life hard
making me a retard
this question is weakening my health
wut question?
how do people understand me...
when i cant even understand myself?
Masks
Some people wear masks
to hide their tears in the past,
Some people wear masks
to make others' happiness last.
Struggles
The flowers struggle to grow
The rivers struggle to flow
The sky struggle to shine
The words struggle to rhyme
The people struggle to stand
I struggle to see who i am.
The Samurai
Getting ready for war
the samurai sharpens his sword.
He cleans and waxes his silver scaled armor
as he obtains wise words from his father.
Not being the top rank
this samurai's confidents shrinks.
Afraid that he will not make it back
he practices the skills he lacked.
Talking with his loved ones before he left
he told them all not to think of his death.
The samurai put on his armor, grabbed his sword, and got on his horse
he waved to his loved ones as he prepared for the worse.
A tear dropped from his eyes as he rode on
he whiped the tear away as he was happy to die for his loved ones.
No Title
ur someone i forever cherish
in my heart u will never perish
when im with u i feel stronger
and i forever want u next to me longer
so i can always feel the way i feel
love it was before and love it is now and its so real
even though we had a lot of past
i again just had to ask
for another chance to feel love once again
cause i couldnt take being just a friend
i had to be by u
cuz my heart lives in u
i gave it to u and now its urs
and i hope in the future u will open ur doors
i know i may be troublesome at times
but i know together we can make the sun shine
i ask nothing form u but to not tell any lies
and if u do please dont look into my eyes
but just promise me this
that u will only gain happiness.
No Title
there is no other way to say
how much i appreciate another chance to be with u another day
ur always there when things get tough
even though most of that is caused by me u, u still make things better with a touch
i give u my all cuz ur so worth it
i cant accept ur all cuz i dont deserve it
there is nothing that we should fear
cuz together there is nothing we cant conquer
even though things will be troublesome
hopefully we will always be one
even though one of us may be trapped in the dark
no matter where we will never be apart
cuz there is only one road for us to follow
and that road will be the same today and 2moro
i love u and i know sometimes u dont believe me
u love me and i know sometimes i dont believe u
but as long as we have each other we cant fail
and this wont end like a fairy tale
cause i want this to go on
and not end and just be gone
we dont talk until the dawn
but its ok cuz ur happiness is all i want.
One-Winged Angel
Like the one-winged angel, i am lost
Cause all the feelings i have seems washed
Or mixed is more of a better way of saying it.
Like the one-winged angel, i feel as if i dont fit in
Just wanted to be loved and noticed
But at the end i only feel sadness.
Like the one-winged angel, i try my best
But at the end my best is as bad as it gets
Cause i end up the same, sad and depressed.
Like the one-winged angel, i feel stressed
These feelings has got my mind confused
That confusion has got my happiness reduced.
Like the one-winged angel, i feel like im alone
A person is always with me, but i feel like im on my own
And its always so nice for that person to try and be kind.
Like the one-winged angel, i want to be on someone's mind
To be thought of like how i think of others
But i found out i will always just wander.
Like the one-winged angel, i feel left behind
Feel as if i will never able to see the sun shine
I always wondered...is this my destiny?
I am like the one-winged angel cause that angel is me.
Suicide
grab a glock
and just let it pop.
grab a knife
and give ur skin a slice.
take some pills
until it kills.
tie a rope around ur throat
until u feel like ur being choked.
jump off a cliff
like u dont give a shit.
jump in the water with a boulder by ur side
dang...i just commited suicide.
Curse
I look Death in the face
and tell him to take me away from this place,
of sadness and depression
of stress and confusion,
because I just cant take it no more
I've made things worse than before,
cause of this mind that God has given me
He has given me something that only brings misery,
I've caused the love of my life to suffer
the pain that I have created for her,
so Death take me away before I make things worse
cause I'm tired of living as a curse.
No Title
I fear death
but want it so bad
I wish I had no breath
so she wouldnt be so sad
if my mind was focused
I wouldnt have to cause conflicts
but now I'm just hopeless
as this suicidal time bomb ticks.
Self-Destruct
the alarms turn red
as the pain hits my head
depression is back
as my heart cracks
water blurrs my eyes
as i just sit and cry
the damage inside has caused a large cost
and now im just fucking lost
things are getting out of hand
this thing i must do, i hope i can...
10, im out of luck
9
8
7
6
5, life fucking sucks
4
3
2
1, ah fuck...
0
*breathes, bre-a-th-e-s, b-r-e....*
i pressed self-destruct.
Darkness Passes
when im in my room on my own
the dark surrounds me and im alone
i cover my face with my hands
to hold back the pain i cant stand
i think of the past, i think of the present
i think of my death sentence
i think of my relationship
i think of her sadness
i try to carry on
but the road im on is far too long
so as the darkness passes by
i sit and cry.
Cry
when there is so much shit on my mind
i just wish that it would be the end of time
but its hard to do that when im afraid
why? i dunno but thats how i was made
lost and scared of everything
but yet i think of everything
i always think of why i live
and instead of positives i think of negatives
but i keep it inside
im dying inside but i am masked outside
the world just seems too intense
and everything just makes no damn sense
so what am i to do
when i feel i was born to lose?
even though i want to die
the only thing i do is cry.
Why...?
why do i feel this way?
why dont i believe the things u say?
why dont i feel like i was heavenly sent?
why do i feel so different?
why do i think the way i do?
why do i keep telling those things to u?
why cant i just keep everything inside?
Why do i have to have this mind?
why cant life just past by?
can anyone tell me why...?
One Day
i hope that
that one day will come
the day where i cant feel numb,
where i finally see the light
and i wont have to fight these fights,
i just wish that that day will end this pain
and end the way my eyes flow like rain,
maybe she will know that day
that i love her more than the words i say,
but till then ill just wait
and just have faith,
cuz i know i cant be the center of attention
and ill never be anyone's definition of perfection,
but maybe that day will change it all
and the tears from my eyes wont have to fall
every second of every minute of every night
maybe ill even have someone to hold tight,
that day may be the day where i wont have to walk alone
and ill have a place that my heart can call home,
maybe there may be a road that i can follow
instead of being lost and trailing a road of shadows,
my demon will be unleased and will run away from me
that day can make it happen and it can set me free,
but hopefully that day will release my troublesome mind
and maybe that day will even be the end of time,
and if that one day does ends that way
i know i'll turn into an one winged angel and fly away,
but for now ill just wait
for that one day.
Untitled
im un-noticeable
un-touchable
broken, and not a whole
i live in the light
but my mind is in the dark
and there is no light that shines bright
enough for me to find my torn aparts
there seems to be no point to anything
cuz at the end of my days there is just 'rain'
i hide in the corner of my room
hoping my heart will bloom
into a full heart that is solid red
instead of staying dark, black, and dead
but i guess its no good
cuz my heart feels no beats
feels like a solid peice of wood
that burns down when it feels heat
into ashes of ashes
like passions of passions
but i guess at this age i just gotta search
for my life even though it hurts
to live as a curse
i already made things worse
but i gotta try n not burst
n not have the thirst
to be loved by her...
i gotta learn how to hold in my emotions
like how the world holds in the ocean...
im forgettable, bottom of the list
its funny how i even exsist
(haha)...
i've given up
there's no point
im useless
waste of food
waste of mass
waste of time
waste of air
a waste of a life...
Untitled
these fucking tears
just fucking come to my eyes
and for some fucking reason
i still dont fucking know why.
why now? why me?
why do these fucking tears come
when it dont fucking do shit for me
but make it harder for me to fucking see the sun.
i cant really fucking take it no more
i wish to cry my fucking eyes dry
until they r fucking red inside out
and maybe then ill be fucking blind.
god mutherfucking damn,
fucking tears go away,
stop blurring my fucking vision,
so i can look for fucking better dayz.
Untitled
it must of been the first kiss
to cause me to feel this,
to feel that i cant live without u
and when i say "i love u" its damn true,
but to see that it means nothing
causes apart of me to be missing,
to see that u cant love me
causes me to bleed,
to see that its hard for u to love me back
causes mind and heart attacks,
to see that you lie to me makes me sad
but to see i make u sad makes me mad,
to see that your still lost in the past
makes me wonder if we'll last...
i know, from experience, that love is hard
but can't you see i'm not like those other retards?
because of all this
i have to resist
on loving u more
trusting u more,
so i wont get hurt
and so things will work,
because i see that your feelings and mines r different
i'm an one-winged angel and your a beautiful angel heavenly sent,
i hope the ending does not end up the same
cause its far too hard to deal with THAT pain.
Untitled
no matter where u r
remember im not far,
just look in ur heart
u'll realize i was there from the start,
even if u hate me...ill be there
when ur sad, mad, lonely...ill be there,
even if u dont really love me
ill be there because ur that precious to me.
Untitled
Have you seen that kid?
Who became sick from the bad things he did?
The things he did...he changed.
His change caused him to not feel any pain.
He said to me,
"To feel this way...kinda feels like I can fly."
And so I wonder...
if he can change...can i?
Untitled
i try to open my eyes
but im blinded by the tears i cried,
i am slowly fading away
but for some reason the pain stays,
my heart is screaming
as my mind is searching for meanings,
my heart bleeds
as my mind trys to see
the truth
the proof,
i finally open my eyes
as my heart crys,
as my mind lies,
as my soul flys,
as i slowly die,
the last thing that appears in my vision
is my angel of perfection,
i smile as my eyes slowly close
there the one winged angel goes.
Untitled
for me to be missed and loved is a myth
i question myself why do i exsist,
is it to suffer?
is it to wander?
to just roam?
to be all alone?
is it to feel pain?
or to see if a wolf can change?
to cry the uncried tears?
to be seperated from my peers?
...
who really knows?
there is nothing that shows
what is true and what is not
but through it all, my heart is all i got.
Untitled
sleepless nights
pointless fights,
got me stressed,
got me depressed,
only thing i wanna do
is just to be with u,
only happiness i know,
only place i want to go,
looking at ur face
makes me wanna embrace
u close to me
so i can be happy,
holding u close
makes me feel warm the most,
only person i want to love
only angel i see from above,
hard times is what im going through
and the only thing i wanna do is to be with u.
i just wanna be with u...
only u...
u...
If It Was True
everyone goes through hard times
but someone is always there at night,
someone is always there to talk to them
they always seem to know where that person has been,
everyone has someone's shoulder to lay their head on
someone that can always keep them strong,
there is always someone to wipe ur tears away
and turn your rainy day into a sunny day,
family members, good friends, or best friends
someone is always there at the end...
...
haha
...
what a joke...
its just some shit i wrote...
if it is true
then why am i alone
at night feeling so wrong?
if it is true
then why do i cry by myself
at night with no one there to help?
if it is true
then why are my tears still there
with no one to help chase away the painful years?
if it is true
then why is no one there at the end of the day
to help me look for a better day?
but its ok, no one needs to worry about me
cause the things i see no one else sees
...
haha
...
if only it was true
...
Given Up
i give up
on trying my best
i give up
on trying to even get a nights rest
i give up
on trying to have a little fun
i give up
on searching for the sun
i give up
on trying to be on the top
i give up
on showing the skills i got
i give up
on waiting to be loved by others
i give up
on trying to impress others
i give up
on trying to be noticed
i give up
on stopping myself from being hopeless
i give up
on trying to keep in good health
i give up
on trying to express myself
i give up
on my hopes
i give up
on the words i wrote
i give up
on holding in my Demon
i give up
on trying to be a man
i give up
on trying to be a perfect son
i give up
on trying to even be someone
i give up
on wishing
i give up
on trying
...
ive given up
Untitled
being hmong sometimes is good and sometimes it's bad
i feel as if the culture is too much
and sometimes i feel as if its something nobody had
it can cause problems, not little but a bunch
it teaches leadership
but it can cause headache
it teaches some other shit
but it can cause heartbreaks
why...?
why cant i just be whoever i want to be?
why do i have to be someone else when i wanna be me?
why cant people love me and not let my culture get in the way?
why do i have to go on alone when i love u more than i can say?
why...?
why cant things just be ok...
why cant things flow the right way...
why does it have to cause pain...
why does it have to cause change...
why...?
this shit is fucked up
but my mouth stays shut
so much i want to tell everyone
but i feel im not THE ONE
it feels good being hmong
but its a bitch being hmong
sometimes i just feel...
i feel...
like i dont wanna be hmong...
and thats foreal
but i know that im gonna be hmong till im gone
but...
i hate it...
i hate it all...
this was just a free verse
because im a curse
and my world just might burst
this might make things worse
but it doesnt matter cuz im in a world of hurt
this was just a free verse
of my experience with my culture
so fuck you too you fuckers
Untitled
second chance
another glance
second break up
another drink of
some hard liquor
nothing is thicker
than someone's love
but thats all gone
theres no one
to be THE ONE
so emotions are exposed
and i feel like im gon explode
but ima hold
all this shit in
while i sip on some jin'
and express it through words
for the better not the worse
or am i lying
cuz im dying
or am i telling the truth
cuz my heart is loose
and weak
once again i lose
but i seek
for another source of happiness
but im blind
by this bullshit of sadness
but ill be fine
as long as shes happy
and smiling
ill just let her be
while fake smiling...
second chance
another glance
second break up
another state of
depression
no more confessions
cuz im sick of
being me...
Untitled
a boy was born
to live in a storm
of pain and sadness
with no sign of happiness
but he trys to keep his head up
but it always seems to fall down
he never sees the light thats up
cause he is always feeling down
positives gone
negatives come
he's got to grow
just to show
that he will cry no more
but all he really does is cry
and nobody knows cuz he lies
he wishes he would die
but he's so afraid of death
but doesnt wanna take another breath
the boy was named an outlaw
an outcast
a soulja
a lone wolf
an one winged angel
...
but he lives with a fake smile
just to see those he loved smile
its all worth while
cuz his life at the moment
he would want to destroy it
but he keeps on going
trying to find someone
no...
trying to find himself
Untitled
everyone was right
when they said we wouldnt last
everyone was right
when they said we wouldnt make it
i always said it wasnt gon end like the past
i always said those thoughts mean shit
but...
as everyone can see
everyone was right
all those doubts about us
right...
all those people who didnt believe in us
right...
all those said not a year
right...
all those who had no faith
right...
all those who had no hope
right...
i was careless and took my own thoughts
i BELIEVE in US
i SAID WE'LL last a YEAR
i HAD FAITH in US
i HAD HOPE in US
but...
i was wrong
Untitled
i didnt really wanna say goodbye
u had to go...i already knew why
but now all i can do is cry
cause ur no longer apart of my life
i thought we could be
together
u didnt wanna be with me
forever
but ur happy
so i guess its ok with me
...never...
Untitled
all he could do
was try to be with u
wishing u would love him too
but he knew that dream wouldnt come true
he knew ya was gon go ur seperate ways
hoping he wouldnt live to see this day
when ya didnt have any words to say
and when u said u didnt wanna stay
he went out
got drunk
he went all out
got punched
he drove home that night
as his one wing spreads wide
as he starts to fly
up to the sky
not knowin he had just died
with no heart inside
Silent Tears
there is silence
not a spoken sentence
just silence
u can feel rain drops
that touch the floor tops
u can feel a stream flow
down ur cheeks as they glow
u can see the blurr from the rain
but u cant see the heartbroken pain
u can see nothing but the dark
u cant even see ur bright heart
so whats this silence im gon feel for years?
that nobody can see or hear?
its just my silent tears.
The Good
this pain i gotta take
in this game i cant break
i gotta survive
i have to believe in this life
but can one go on with a torn heart?
and now he feels like he just began from the start
no...!
i cant think that way
i gotta keep looking foward for a better day
think of the good
and only the good
...
shes happy without u
she has better things to do
but ur not happy
ur full of misery
no...!
think of the good...
...
shes once again smiling
she can finally stop lying
but ur smile doesnt show
and ur just lying to urself now
no...!
think of the good...
...
she can finally find a better guy
one that can keep her spirit high
but u still want her by ur side
shes the only thing on ur mind
no...!
think of the good...
shes happy!
what else do u want?!
doesnt matter about me!
it wasnt ment to be, fuck!
just stop with the negative shit!
cuz im getting sick of it!
its too painful to handle!
theres no fire on the candle,
the candle that lays in my heart!
so just shut up and restart!
aint shit u can do now
but fucking live ur fucked up life now
shes happy...
what else do u want...?
and thats good
thats good...
Lock Up
yea it wasnt ment to be
and thats something i have to see
but this love got me blind
to see the truth from heart to mind
im trying hard to figure it out
just how this all came about
and still i dont know
i aint got shit left to show
so heres what im gon do
im gon hide everything and show none of u
the pain i feel or the tears i cry
and hopefully while this happens time flys by
and ill get over this heartbreak
these heartaches
and all this shit
so for now this shit is locked up
if ur reading this u all now know whats up
i aint gon show no more of my pain
cause i have already lost the game
game over for me
aint nothing left for me
but just to be me
so this last poem of my expressions
aint gon have no more confessions
no more lessons
no more wantings
no more wishings
im just tired of this shit
aint no use for this shit
so im just gonna sit here and feel like shit
and in the future ya aint gon know of this shit
im locking everything up people
and this time im foreals....
