I think life should be more like tv. I think all of life's problems out to be solved in 30 minutes with simple homilies, don't you? I think weight and oral hygiene ought to be our biggest concerns. I think we should all have powerful, high-paying jobs, and everyone should drive fancy sports car. All our desires should be instantly gratified. Women should always wear tight clothes, and men should carry powerful handguns. Life overall should be more glamorous, thrill-packed, and filled with applause, don't you think? -- Calvin, Calvin and Hobbes --

This morning I had a wonderful dream. By holding my arms out stiff and pushing down hard, I found I could suspend myself a few feet above ground. I flapped harder, and soon I was soaring effortlessly over the trees and telephone poles! I could fly! I folded my arms back and zoomed low over the neighborhood. Everyone was amazed, and they ran along under me as I shot by. Then I rocketed up so fast that my eyes watered from the wind. I laughed and laughed, making huge loops in the sky! ...That's when mom woke me up and said I was going to miss the bus if I didn't get my bottom out of bed; 20 minutes later, here I am, Standing in the cold rain, waiting to go to school, and I just remembered I forgot my lunch. Tuesdays don't start much worse than this. -- Calvin, Calvin and Hobbes --

Calvin: Dad, how do people make babies? Dad: Most people just go to Sears, buy the kit, and follow the assembly intructions. Calvin: I came from Sears? Dad: No. You came from Blue Light Special at K Mart. Almost as good, and a lot cheaper. -- Calvin and Hobbes --