Dear Hearsay,

I just got back from Cali, im tired, im hungry, and i DONT WANT 2 READ UR CRAP!!!!!

lol, good stuff

seriously, its about 12:30 and i dont really have the time or energy 2 read the articles at the moment, but from the front page my favorite 2 things r "vending machine being a complete asshole" and "those comments about Ben's sexuality were completely uncalled-for and totally unrelated to the movie" ill read the rest later.

later,

everyone's favorite Russian

Dear Dirty Cossack,

A favorite Russian? I’m surprised you are literate you condescending soviet. I have never had and shan’t ever have a favorite Russian. Foreigners have destroyed the fabric of our society and you ought to be ashamed. All of that aside, I do wish you would take this paper seriously, it is not a joke. Though we all have fun with this job, our stories are based on fact and an unbiased portrayal of the world we live in. And in the future, please do not use that language in your letters. Jackass.

Sincerely,

Weston Bruner, Editor-in-Chief

P.S. We at Hearsay Weekly strongly value our readers and their input, and we encourage you to send us your thoughts.