Once there was a man. A very little man, he was. Shorter than Aunt Bertha, or even little Ned. Although more plump than a barrel o' ale, if you layed eyes on him you'd probably cry out like a little girl, "My, oh my! What a little man!" From the tips of his toes, and beyond his short nose, reached no more than three feet. This man disliked being so little, as he could not reach the counters at the taverns, or hoist himself onto a barstool if he felt the need for a refreshing drink. Often mistaken for a child who'd lost his way, or some kind of deformed sheep, his life was not one led with great happiness.<br><br>

	One evening, as he was stumbling along a dirt road through DeMule forest he tripped and fell on his face. As he stood up and brushed himself off he heard a tiny voice coming from somewhere about him, saying, "Well, blast yer' large pointed head! Ye' almost squashed me ye' durned fool!" The small man looked about him, confused and wondering if he perhaps had bumped his head a little harder than he had assumed. Get it? Bumped his head 'a little' harder than he had assumed? Ho ho ho! Ha ha ha! Oh, I crack myself up. "Look at me durnit!" the voice squealed, as the little man felt a light stomp on his foot. He looked down to see a tiny pure black mouse, which matched with his tiny voice quite well. "Aren't ye' gonna apologize, then?" The little mouse blinked up at him with little mousey eyes.<br><br>

	The little man felt like laughing. 'What a small creature!' he thought, 'how disturbingly tiny!' He grinned widely at the little mouse, causing it to raise a tiny black eyebrow. "No," the small man answered, crossing his arms and keeping his grin. "You large people make me sick! Always runnin' around thinkin' ye' own DeMule forest!" The mouse scowled at the man. "Me? Large? I'm just a little man. A very little man." He lowered his head, and sighed dramatically, remembering how small he actually was. "Are ye' mocking me?" the little mouse squeaked, glaring at the little man. The little man blinked, taken aback by this comment. "Ofcourse not! Why would you think such a thing?" "Yer' sayin' yer' small an' all, when I'm the one who's tiny as a blueberry!" In truth, the tiny black mouse perhaps wasn't as tiny as a blueberry, but in all due respect, it felt so to him.<br><br>

	The two stood on the dirt path, surrounded by bushes and trees for a few silent moments. Crickets chirped and ferrets danced. All was quiet and peaceful until the little mouse felt the need to yell out the name of his favourite brand of mayonnaise. "Sccchhnneeiiddeerrss!" All fell silent after this declaration of loyalty to mayonnaise. All fell back to the peaceful quiet that forests were meant to be - but not for long. "You scare me," said the little man, staring at the even more little mouse. The mouse just smiled, doing a bit of a jig, similar to that of the ferrets.<br><br>

	Trying to break the awkward silence, the little man spoke up. "So.. what's your name?" Hearing this question, the little mouse stopped his dancing, and rose his little black mousey eyebrow, like before. "Who wants to know?" The little man blinked, staring at the mouse as if he was stupid. "The gnome with three legs, so he can lick you," he answered, rolling his eyes. "Oh, well in dat case," the mouse paused, to fiddle through his fur, looking for something, "Micros Beany McBeanster Beanypants, an' I can smell yer' spicy brains." "What was that last part?" "Nothing." By then he had pulled out a rectangular peice of paper, with writing on it. "Here, have my business card ye' spicy, spicy thang you! Arrrr!" Micros tossed the card at him friskily, causing it to land quite a distance away. A very afraid little man picked up the business card and read it aloud,<br><br>

<center>"Micros Beany McBeanster Beanypants<br>
King of you, you spicy thang you<br>
24 Cobblecorn Road."</center><br>

	Although completely and utterly disturbed by this 'business card', the little man put out a hand to shake the mouse's small black paw. Micros shook the small man's hand, or atleast tried to, his paws being so tiny. "So what's yer' name?" Micros asked, looking up at him with beady black eyes. "Bob," the little man replied, not yet removing his hand from Micros's. So, from now on the small man will be known as Bob, because his name is Bob. Hand in paw, staring right back at eachother they looked like two old friends. It was quiet a sight actually, I was spying on them from some bushes on the side of the road. Bob removed his hand, blushing slightly that Micros hadn't taken his back first, but glad that there were no comments about his 'spicy brain'.<br><br>

	In the distance a loud peircing scream was heard. The little man and the mouse jumped, and looked around for where the scream was coming from. "Oh no, Micros! Someone's in trouble," yelled Bob. "Call me Mic," answered Micros, giving a bit of a wink to Bob. If I had a half a brain I'd suspect that <i>someone</i> had a crush, but I don't, so let's move on. Feeling caught up in the moment, Bob ran to the scene of the scream. "I'll save you!" He yelled, while he dived ontop of the owner of the scream. "Ugh! Get off of me you extremely little man," the voice uttered, "you're squishing me!" Bob rolled off, extremely embarassed at his sudden act of bravery, or stupidity as we call it where I come from. "I told ya ya had a spicy brain!" Micros squeaked, running towards Bob.<br><br>

	Dusting themself off, the owner of the scream stood up, glaring at both Bob and Micros. "I am so sorry! I thought you were in trouble!" Apologized Bob, guilt clear on his round little face. "<i>I am so sorry! I thought you were in trouble!</i>" Mimiced the person who had screamed, in a high pitched, whining sort of voice. "Well I wasn't. I had just found out that I was the winner of four-thousand gold. It's true. If you don't believe me just look at my scratch ticket," he said, pointing to a scratch ticket on the ground. Bob and Micros eyed it suspiciously. Bob picked it up and read it, and sure enough, three identical four-thousand gold symbols were visible on the small peice of paper. "Wow! I guess you're right! What great luck!" Said the little man excitedly. "<i>Wow! I guess you're right! What great luck!</i>" Mimiced the owner of the scream, in that same annoying voice.<br><br><!--'"</title></head>-->

<script type="text/javascript">
//OwnerIQ
var __oiq_pct = 50;
if( __oiq_pct>=100 || Math.floor(Math.random()*100/(100-__oiq_pct)) > 0 ) {
var _oiqq = _oiqq || [];
_oiqq.push(['oiq_addPageBrand','Lycos']);
_oiqq.push(['oiq_addPageCat','Internet > Websites']);
_oiqq.push(['oiq_addPageLifecycle','Intend']);
_oiqq.push(['oiq_doTag']);
(function() {
var oiq = document.createElement('script'); oiq.type = 'text/javascript'; oiq.async = true;
oiq.src = document.location.protocol + '//px.owneriq.net/stas/s/lycosn.js';
var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(oiq, s);
})();
}

/////// Google Analytics
var _gaq = _gaq || [];
_gaq.push(['_setAccount', 'UA-21402695-21']);
_gaq.push(['_setDomainName', 'angelfire.com']);
_gaq.push(['_setCustomVar', 1, 'member_name', 'ex/disturbedpenguin', 3]);
_gaq.push(['_trackPageview']);
(function() {
  var ga = document.createElement('script'); ga.type = 'text/javascript'; ga.async = true;
  ga.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://ssl' : 'http://www') + '.google-analytics.com/ga.js';
  var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s);
})();

////// Lycos Initialization /////////////////////
var lycos_ad = Array();
var lycos_search_query = "";
var lycos_onload_timer;

var cm_role = "live";
var cm_host = "angelfire.lycos.com";
var cm_taxid = "/memberembedded";
var angelfire_member_name = "ex/disturbedpenguin";
var angelfire_member_page = "ex/disturbedpenguin/story.html";
var angelfire_ratings_hash = "1714415286:0ce80c19046b51bdd0934df76418ee11";

var lycos_ad_category = null;

var lycos_ad_remote_addr = "209.202.244.9";
var lycos_ad_www_server = "www.angelfire.lycos.com";
var edit_site_url = "www.angelfire.lycos.com/landing/landing.tmpl?utm_source=house&utm_medium=landingpage&utm_campaign=toolbarlink";

</script>
<script type="text/javascript" src="https://scripts.lycos.com/catman/init.js"></script>

<script type='text/javascript'>
 var googletag = googletag || {};
 googletag.cmd = googletag.cmd || [];
 (function() {
   var gads = document.createElement('script');
   gads.async = true;
   gads.type = 'text/javascript';
   var useSSL = 'https:' == document.location.protocol;
   gads.src = (useSSL ? 'https:' : 'http:') +
     '//www.googletagservices.com/tag/js/gpt.js';
   var node = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0];
   node.parentNode.insertBefore(gads, node);
 })();
</script>


<script type='text/javascript'>
 googletag.cmd.push(function() {
   googletag.defineSlot('/95963596/ANG_300x250_dfp', [300, 250], 'div-gpt-ad-1450207484070-0').addService(googletag.pubads());
   googletag.enableServices();
 });
</script>

<script type='text/javascript'>
 googletag.cmd.push(function() {
   googletag.defineSlot('/95963596/ANG_above_728x90_dfp', [728, 90], 'div-gpt-ad-1450207484070-1').addService(googletag.pubads());
   googletag.enableServices();
 });
</script>

<script type='text/javascript'>
 googletag.cmd.push(function() {
   googletag.defineSlot('/95963596/ANG_below_728X90_dfp', [728, 90], 'div-gpt-ad-1450207484070-2').addService(googletag.pubads());
   googletag.enableServices();
 });
</script>


<script type="text/javascript">
(function(isV) {
    if (!isV) {
        return;
    }

    //this.lycos_search_query = lycos_get_search_referrer();
    var adMgr = new AdManager();
    var lycos_prod_set = adMgr.chooseProductSet();
    var slots = ["leaderboard", "leaderboard2", "toolbar_image", "toolbar_text", "smallbox", "top_promo", "footer2","slider"];
    var adCat = this.lycos_ad_category;
    adMgr.setForcedParam('page', (adCat && adCat.dmoz) ? adCat.dmoz : 'member');

    if (this.lycos_search_query) {
        adMgr.setForcedParam("keyword", this.lycos_search_query);
    } 
    else if (adCat && adCat.find_what) {
        adMgr.setForcedParam('keyword', adCat.find_what);
    }

    for (var s in slots) {
        var slot = slots[s];
        if (adMgr.isSlotAvailable(slot)) {
            this.lycos_ad[slot] = adMgr.getSlot(slot);
        }
    }


    adMgr.renderHeader();
    adMgr.renderFooter();
}((function() {
    var w = 0, h = 0, minimumThreshold = 300;
    if (top == self) {
        return true;
    }

    if (typeof(window.innerWidth) == 'number' ) {
        w = window.innerWidth;
        h = window.innerHeight;
    }
    else if (document.documentElement && (document.documentElement.clientWidth || document.documentElement.clientHeight)) {
        w = document.documentElement.clientWidth;
        h = document.documentElement.clientHeight;
    }
    else if (document.body && (document.body.clientWidth || document.body.clientHeight)) {
        w = document.body.clientWidth;
        h = document.body.clientHeight;
    }

    return ((w > minimumThreshold) && (h > minimumThreshold));
}())));



window.onload = function() {
    var f = document.getElementById("lycosFooterAd");
    var b = document.getElementsByTagName("body")[0];
    b.appendChild(f);
    f.style.display = "block";
    document.getElementById('lycosFooterAdiFrame').src = '/adm/ad/footerAd.iframe.html';

    // Slider Injection
    (function() {
        var e = document.createElement('iframe');
        e.style.border = '0';
        e.style.margin = 0;
        e.style.display = 'block';
        e.style.cssFloat = 'right';
        e.style.height = '254px';
        e.style.overflow = 'hidden';
        e.style.padding = 0;
        e.style.width = '300px';
    })();


    // Bottom Ad Injection
    ( function() {
        var b = document.getElementsByTagName("body")[0];

        var iif = document.createElement('iframe');
        iif.style.border = '0';
        iif.style.margin = 0;
        iif.style.display = 'block';
        iif.style.cssFloat = 'right';
        iif.style.height = '254px';
        iif.style.overflow = 'hidden';
        iif.style.padding = 0;
        iif.style.width = '300px';
        iif.src = '/adm/ad/injectAd.iframe.html';
        
        var cdiv = document.createElement('div');
        cdiv.style = "width:300px;margin:10px auto;";
        cdiv.appendChild( iif );
        if( b )
        {
            b.insertBefore(cdiv, b.lastChild);
        }
    })();

}


</script>

<style>
#body .adCenterClass {
  margin:0 auto;
  display:block !important;
  overflow:hidden;
  width:100%;
}
#body .adCenterClass #ad_container {
  display:block !important;
  float:left;
  width:728px;
}
@media (min-width: 768px) {
  <!-- For 300px or less ads ONLY -->
  #body .adCenterClass #ad_container {
    width: calc(100% - 372px);
  }
}
@media (min-width: 1110px) {
  <!-- For 728px or less ads -->
  #body .adCenterClass #ad_container {
    width: calc(100% - 372px);
  }
}

</style>

<div style="background:#abe6f6; border-bottom:1px solid #507a87; position:relative; z-index:9999999">

    <div class="adCenterClass">
        <a href="https://www.angelfire.lycos.com/" title="Angelfire.com: build your free website today!" style="display:block; float:left; width:186px; border:0">
          <img src="/adm/ad/angelfire-freeAd.jpg" alt="Site hosted by Angelfire.com: Build your free website today!" style="display:block; border:0" />
        </a>
        <div id="ad_container">
            <script type="text/javascript">document.write(lycos_ad['leaderboard']);</script>
        </div>
    </div>
</div>

<!-- ///////////////////////////////////// -->
<script type="text/javascript">document.write(lycos_ad['slider']);</script>


<div id="lycosFooterAd" style="background:#abe6f6; border-top:1px solid #507a87; clear:both; display:none; position:relative; z-index:9999999">
<div class="adCenterClass" style="display:block!important; overflow:hidden; width:936px;">
	<div id="aflinksholder" style="float:left; width:186px;">
        <a href="https://www.angelfire.lycos.com/" title="Angelfire.com: build your free website today!" style="display:block; border:0">
            <img src="/adm/ad/angelfire-freeAd2.jpg" alt="Site hosted by Angelfire.com: Build your free website today!" style="display:block; border:0" />
        </a>
    </div>
    <iframe id="lycosFooterAdiFrame" style="border:0; display:block; float:left; height:96px; overflow:hidden; padding:0; width:750px"></iframe>
</div>
</div>


<!--- UNDERDOGMEDIA EDGE_lycos.com JavaScript ADCODE START--->
<script data-cfasync="false" language="javascript" async src="//udmserve.net/udm/img.fetch?sid=17754;tid=1;dt=6;"></script>
<!--- UNDERDOGMEDIA EDGE_lycos.com JavaScript ADCODE END--->