Coping with Feelings

It would be wonderful if we could feel happy all the time. However, we all have moments when things happen to upset us and we have to learn to cope with negative feelings. The next time you feel angry, sad, afraid or embarrassed, stop and ask yourself, "what is the best way to deal with this feeling?" Here are a few tips that might help.

What can we do if we feel angry?

• If you become angry with someone, explain your feeling. May be you were hurt or embarrassed. Bottling up your anger will only make you feel worse. Sometimes people don't realize that they have done something to upset you.

• Playing a game or sport you really enjoy is a good way to relax and it helps to get angry feelings our of your system

• Tell a friend about your angry feelings. You may even be able to share a joke about what happened. Remember to listen to your friends when they are upset, too.

What can we do if we feel sad?

• Being busy is one of the best ways to cure sad feelings. Start with those chores you have been putting off. If you work hard enough, you might find you have forgotten what you wre feeling sad about.

• Talk about your feelings with a friend or a member of your family. Your friend may have had experiences that caused sadness, too. Sharing sad feelings is a good way to help overcome them.

What can we do if we feel scared?

• Sometimes you might be scared because of something you have done. Talking about your problem to a trusted adult who can help you make amends is often a good idea. Owning up to someone before they find out about it might also save you a lot of worry.

• Remember, everyone feels afraid or nervous about things, such as performing before an audience or sitting an exam. Taking a few deep breaths, however, can sometimes help you relax.

• No one likes to be afraid, but fear can help us every day, reminding us to be careful. The fear of an intruder might remind us to check that our house is securely locked up. Fear of traffic teaches us to look each way carefully before crossing the road. When we learn how do deal with what is frightening us, it no longer seems so scary.

What can we do if we feel embarrassed?

• If you've done something you shouldn't and feel guilty or embarrassed, it might help to talk it over with someone and make amends.

• If someone says something that makes you feel foolish and embarrassed, tell the person in private how you felt about the remark.

• If you are unable to laugh about an embarrassing moment right after it happens, just say to yourself, "Never mind, I'll be able to laugh about this later." And one day, you probably will. Talk about what happened with a friend. Your friend may have embarrassing moments to share, too, and you can have a good laugh about them together.

written by Cheryl Semple