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Current Article: Feminism

   
   First of all, I would like to thank you for viewing this site.
   You know, if it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t even be making this site.
   Conversely, if it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t be here right now.
   Everybody must thank me for allowing him or her the privilege of viewing my personal opinion.
   
   Before you progress any further into the void of opinions, you MUST know that I am a SUPER
   CONSERVATIVE REPUBLICAN WHO IS SO FAR RIGHT THAT HE CAN’T EVEN SEE THE LEFT.
   
   That is all you need to know about me. So Let’s get started on the first topic ever to be
   on the site. This topic is one that I feel very very strongly about, and I hope you do too.
   
   Feminism.
   
   To clear a few things up, it is true that I am a boy. BUT that does not mean that automatically
   I am biased against the women. In fact, it is the exact opposite. My views on feminism are there
   to protect the women from the only people who even stand a chance at hurting them:  Themselves.
   
   My motto is thus: “Is it okay to hit a feminist? They would want it, and so would everybody else…”
   
   Feminists say that they strive for equality, but what they are striving for is superiority over
   men. Why do you not see virists or manists or maleists? (Femina is woman in Latin; vir is man in
   Latin, which is where I got the virists from) The correct answer is that men have figured out
   that, well, we don’t care. There is no need for superiority. We don’t need freaks and losers
   running around making up crap and being pessimistic saying “only women work in American Girls 
   and Victoria’s Secret! WE WANT IN!!” That’s freakish. It used to be freakish for women to run
   around saying “Football Hall of Fame! I wanna work there! Oooh, the strip clubs! Men go there
   for fun, why shouldn’t I go to see the action?” In my mind, that is very freakish. VERY freakish.
   
   Let’s see what Mr. Schwartzeneger has to say about these feminist wackos, shall we?
   “They’re tuhning all da men into gurly-men.”
   That’s right, Ah-nold. Girly-men. But we’ll get to that later in the article.
   
   First off, there is the idea of the “glass ceiling,” which doesn’t exist. It is only there if
   the feminists want it to be. The glass ceiling supposedly is a metaphor describing the lack of
   higher-level jobs being occupied by women. For proving this point wrong, I will use their
   strongest example of where the glass ceiling exists, which is presidential. That’s right; women
   have never made it into the highest position in the country. Why? Well, it’s very simple. It’s
   not that all of the “horrible, evil” men are trying to make sure that no women ever become
   president like the feminists seem to think (and I’m not saying that there aren’t people like that
   out there, but they are not a majority is all I meant). Rather, it’s that there is a severe lack
   of qualification in the women that do run, and a lack of care or desire to become president in
   the rest of the women in America. What do I mean, lack of qualification? Well, before the whole
   “Bush vs. Gore” thingy, women in America wanted the leader of Harpo to run. That’s right, they
   wanted Oprah. As if to say that she is qualified in any way shape or form. Psch. I spit on you
   who think that way. PSCH!
   
   All right, so there’s no glass ceiling. What about the war? What do you think women should do
   for the war?
   
   Again, I am not saying this because I hate women, but rather because I have awesome evidence to
   back it up. Let me start out by saying that I believe that there should be no women on the
   frontlines. Don’t scream or run away from the screen yet, you haven’t heard my backup evidence.
   Now, these women are all “we can do anything. Watch us wrestle!” So, to support my frontlines
   theory, I will use wrestling. How women ever got into the men’s wrestling foundation I do not know.
   But, all I can tell you is that the people fighting in that ring are NOT actual women. They are
   people who used to be women, but took huge amounts of steroids and are now men. By nature, men
   are stronger than women. It’s not that a bunch of men all sat together and said, “We need to be
   better than women, so we’ll say that we’re stronger!” Actually, that’s not true, contrary to
   popular belief. It’s called nature. Conversely, women are more observant than men by nature.
   It’s just the way things are, and it’s not our fault for that. The frontlines are a special
   place where the enemy has the ability to run up to you and engage you in hand-to-hand combat.
   Well, since men are typically the only people in the army of foreign countries (especially in the
   middle east where they don’t even want to see women’s faces), then we also need men who are
   stronger than women to run up and do the hand-to-hand stuff. Women can arm tanks, artillery,
   nurses, befriend aliens, whatever, but they will lose in hand-to-hand. Period. Jessica Lynch
   was a woman who was on the front lines. Look at what happened to her. That’s right, there was
   no man who was a p.o.w. who became traumatized and had amnesia. It was a woman who was misplaced
   because of feminist actions. The feminists don’t realize what they’re doing to these people.
   
   Ok, so no glass ceiling, no frontlines. What about all the inequality?
   
   Inequality? What inequality? It’s all in your mind. Twit.
   
   Sorry. Whatever. What about what Ah-nold said up there?
   
   Oh, yes, the girly-man thing. Believe it or not, that used to be so uncommon to see a man acting
   like a woman or vice-versa that girly-man was on oxy-moron. Feminists are trying to skew the normal
   view of men and women to a more common and similar perspective, and it’s confusing all of the men and
   women, making them think that it’s socially acceptable for a woman to wear men’s clothes and men to
   wear women’s clothes. Well, it is almost exactly that; it’s becoming socially acceptable. I’m scared 
   or my testosterone already.
   
   I heard an interesting news report on the radio the other day. The N.O.W. (National Organization of Women,
   or as I like to call them, the N.A.G.S. national association of gals cause they hate that) was attempting 
   o make all loyal feminists to make sure that nobody said any feminine pronouns like she or her. They
   wanted what, to be called ‘it’ and further make it sound like they are treated as furniture?
   (Next paragraph) All that I could get out of this report was that the feminists were no longer fighting
   for equality because they thought men are superior, but rather because they are ashamed of being women.
   You know what I say to that? Get a sex change and you won’t have to complain about inequality of
   women anymore.
   
   My sister’s music teacher in grade school was a huge feminist. I know you’re probably cringing right now.
   Well, she said that women are treated like furniture. See what young children are learning these days?
   Freaks at the school board have no morals. Anyway, the teacher told them that women are used as
   furniture. If she’s in an abusive relationship, she should just get out of it, not stay in it. Further,
   don’t preach how all women are always treated horribly by the bloodthirsty evil inhumane men that
   are forced to walk the earth with the women.
   
   Closing statements
   
   Well, so we reach the end of the first ever article to hit my homepage. My closing statements are as follows:
   
   1)	Feminists need to stop infecting the minds of little kids, you insensitive freaks.
   2)	You need to GET A CLUE!!
   3)	Learn that you have to accept who you are
   4)	And finally, if you have such a problem with being a woman, like I said, get a sex change and
   	stop complaining.
   
   Thank you for taking the time to read my article.
   
   I did write this article myself and I will continue to write other articles, but I need the help of my
   readers. Give me suggestions by e-mail of what I should comment on. I don’t want any hate mail (or maybe
   I do, just so I can prove all of you libs out there wrong), but anything else pretty much will be
   accepted. Please note that I may put e-mails up on the website, so if you don’t want your e-mail address
   put up, tell me in the e-mail itself. Thank you.
   
   SUGGESTIONS ARE E-MAILED TO dogbert88@arczip.com

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