Here are a few quotes courtesy of my good friends... they made me laugh so I'm spreading the joy :-) It's an honor to be on this list; it's very competitive! :-P

Jay V: There was a distinct burning sensation coming from my pants

Jay: It's a nice mattress.
David: Yeah, when you're ready to go out a butler pops out and helps you get dressed and offers you a night cap
Jay: Ya! you have to wear a nightcap

jayv84uf: have you ever had one of those moments when you just ask yourself, "Where did my pants go?"

Jay: If Jessica brings her bird out, we'll have a party fowl!

Me: You should eat! Your brain doesn't operate that well with hungry! ... you know what i mean
Rebecca: Your brain doesn't operate that well normally, does it?

Me: Oh! I have to remember to get up tomorrow!

Rebecca: I was trying very hard. I was trying to force it, but they're both female. (referring to serial ports)

Rebecca: that was a great there's-cottage-cheese-in-my-eggnog face

Talking about paper airplane competition
Me: lets do a prize for length of flight and time of flight
Philip: we should have a prize for lowest Reynold's number
Raymond: I want my own number, the Raymond's number. length over time, BAM that's it
Philip: that's just velocity

Jessica D: Excuse me, I've been hanging out with guys all day so my IQ level is kinda low

at volleyball practice

Daniella: (after hitting the ball into empty space between me and jes) that was for that invisible guy right there
Jessica: (without missing a beat) oh yeah, bill. bill is more of a spectator
later in the night...
Jessica: I told you, Bill is more of a spectator sport

UFGatorPrincess: and i didn't wanna watch zombies at night
penpenjay: hehe, it's not bad, just wierd
UFGatorPrincess: not even scary for me?
penpenjay: i mean... you can tell that they are "zombies" ... but they still act very normal
penpenjay: they act like nine to fivers that are very tired, and occasionally an arm or something falls off
UFGatorPrincess: haha
penpenjay: ... night of the living office space
UFGatorPrincess: hahahaha! we should make that movie
UFGatorPrincess: it'd be a hit!
penpenjay: I... I belive you have my ... I belive you have my brains

Mike: Dr. Lear?
Dr. Lear: Yo!
Mike: Dr. Lear is my home dawg!

presenter: are any of you married?
aisha: HELL NO!!!

**see picture above**
KomradeChris: I had this mental image..
KomradeChris: of Jesus... throwing away his lightsaber..
KomradeChris: and, the pope blasting him with Force Lightning..
KomradeChris: Then, Moses, incased in holy armor...
KomradeChris: saving him.
KomradeChris: But, yea.
KomradeChris: I'm insane.
KomradeChris: So, um.. who are the Jedi?
KomradeChris: The cardinals?
KomradeChris: That's pretty unnerving. They like little boys.
RhodesPrincess: you're losing it!
KomradeChris: Ooo! I know!
KomradeChris: the protestants?
RhodesPrincess: you've lost it

"There goes another one."
"Another what?"
"Another dead girl... but I always get off anyway!"
~ Jay, referring to jail time?

caju21: sarah
Auto response from UFGatorPrincess: Party here tonight
caju21 returned at 1:46:07 AM.
caju21: drunk not so much in the sober state
caju21: but drunk in the very drunk state
caju21: i can't feel my cheeks
caju21: but can surprisingly still correct myself when i type
caju21: amazing
caju21: or , if drunk
caju21: amsanign
caju21: that's tinny
caju21: funny
caju21: cant's feel my hands either
caju21: never let me get this drunk again
caju21: 3 drinks is the maximum
caju21: how come i can type now and know when to correct my spelling but can't do much else?
caju21: it's like every thought that i have is coming from the back of my brain
caju21: but it gets filtered by the front
caju21: into something unintelligeble
caju21: uum, i don't think i can spell that normally
caju21: and my feet are still dirty
caju21: and sorry for not finishing cleaning your kitchen
caju21: dishes, floor, countertops
caju21: etc.
caju21: ruth pulled me away
caju21: blame her
caju21: anyways
caju21: night nigh
caju21: t
caju21: sheit
caju21: i' m so drunk
caju21: it's not funny
caju21: ngith
caju21: night
caju21 signed off at 1:50:49 AM.

Jes (to dean): No matter how much you wash your arm, it's still a dolphin penis!

In class:
Sherif: Now let's consider an infinitely long rod.
Dan: He must be talking about me.
Sherif: What is the internal Temperature?
Dan: 98.6 degrees
After Class:
Dan: I gotta go to the bathroom, see y'all Monday.
Sarah: Monday? it takes that long? Well, I guess with an infinitely long rod...

"I don't trust those frat boys and their pastel colored polos!"
~Angela

"It's so modern, I just made it up!"
Eric O talking about modern physics

"My mom used to put me on a leash when I was little. Sometimes I'd forget I was on it and try to hide."
~ Erin CB

"I've fallen into the penguin. And I can't get up."
~ Catherine H

Perfect steve: is steak and shake getting pulled over?

Russ: If the Amish invented electricity again, would they be allowed to use it?

Jess: How come you're all dressed up?
Peter: I just came form Martinis
Jess: Whats that?
Peter: It's a club
Trina: Like a sandwich!
Jess: Did you just come from a sandwich?
Peter: umm, sure

Jess: Don't hit on the alcohol!

Maggie: whats in the meat?
Laura: you don't wanna know
Maggie: Yeah I do, You can't scare me I've had tuna casserole

"You know? Crotches are great for holding things."
~ Jay

Pree: Jay!?
Jay: What!
Pree: Oh, no...i was just playing hangman.