“What a decision,” I began. “You would think that it would be the easiest decision in the world. Finally I would have my chance to be with you Buffy, forever. Wait, not forever. I would be human, so I could be taken at any time. But, if I don’t decide to stay with you Buffy, then I will be taken right now. I don’t know if I can make that decision.”
Buffy looked at me awkwardly. She was saddened by my words. I could feel the life slowly being taken from her. Finally she spoke, “Obviously, you don’t love me as much as I thought. Or else you’d already be in my arms.”
“Buffy, that’s not it,” I quickly stated. “I love you more than I ever did. But, that’s not the issue. The issue is, can I be a better man than what I was in the past? How would I get by, without the power of darkness guiding me? We’ve tried that before. I couldn’t be a human. I couldn’t stand by and watch you save the world time and time again, without being able to help. I just can’t do that Buffy!”
“Your right,” Buffy quickly said.
I was stunned by this revelation. “What? What do you mean your right?”
Buffy walked towards the front door, and then motioned for me to follow her. I followed her outside, where it was still sunny and hot (did I mention how cool that was). Anyways, we walked outside and onto the walkway. Finally, Buffy said, “You’re right Angel. I can’t expect you to live as a human without any power. For all these years, you’ve lived in the darkness. First, killing and ravaging the world as a dark and terrifying killer. Then, you lived in the darkness, as a powerful vampire with a soul, fighting to kill all those who you once led. How could we expect you to be any less than what you are.”
As I listened to Buffy talk, I found myself taking deep breaths of the air. I haven’t been able to do that for a very long time. It was amazing. For the first time in my life I felt comfortable in being human. But, how long could that last? How long could I pretend to be happy? I wanted to just say yes to the human life, but I couldn’t. I am what I am. I’m a vampire with a soul. Not a human.
Buffy had finished talking for a while and just marveled in the sight of me breathing in the fresh air and basking in the sunlight. Again, the tears swelled up in her eyes. I walked over to her, held her in my arms, and dried her eyes. I then quietly said to her, “My love, there is no other way around the inevitable. I’m a vampire, and you’re a slayer, it’s always going to be like that. You need to move on and find someone else to love you. Please just don’t let it be Spike,” I said while letting out a slight laugh.
Buffy also laughed and said, “Don’t worry, I won’t ever be able to love another because wherever you go, you take my heart with you.”
I then hugged her and passionately kissed her, for the final time. The kiss was nothing like I’ve ever experienced before. I locked on to her lips and I saw the love that I could’ve had with her. I saw the children that we would’ve raised together. I saw the human life that I could’ve lived. But it’s all for not, because I chose the life of darkness. Now I must pay the ultimate price for my decision. I must face the long road of death.
As I released Buffy from my clutches, and saw the tears continuously roll down her face, I could feel the darkness slowly re-releasing into my veins. As it flowed back into me, the sun that I was basking in, became extremely hot. I began to burn, but I didn’t move. I continued to look into Buffy’s eyes. Continued to stare at her beauty.
She didn’t turn and run away, but watched as I slowly faded away. I yelled out to her before I was gone, “You still my girl?”
“Always!” Buffy replied, as I faded to dust!
