The tribute tattoo is on...
Dedications and memories of "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott, 1966-2004, still smilin' and rockin'

This is the part that most people skip or just scan through not hearing what I am saying. I guess that’s up to the reader, but I certainly enjoy this part. So, in general, about me is pretty simple. I live in Ontario Canada, have three cats, two ferrets, a house, a car and a burning desire to write. An interesting part of me is that I have many tattoos (mainly dark and demonic ones) and numerous body piercings, which I think I have outgrown, as I now fear the pain of a piercing needle. I enjoy music madly; mainly rock, heavy metal, thrash metal, folk and classic rock. I do however have a great appreciation for most music genres, as my father was a musician and that’s how I was raised. Also thanks to daddy, I love a nice Harley and have an inherited involvement in that “lifestyle”. That’s probably where the tattoos came into play as well. In January of 2003, I took a road trip to New Orleans and fell in love, as I knew I would. Its cryptic and historical value is magnificent. I somehow fit in there, probably because I am a giant cliche, yet, I hope to return as often as possible. I have been a model, stripper, daycare assistant, dominatrix, fast food employee, go-go dancer and on welfare. I consider myself to be a writer, a researcher and essayist. Sometimes, I’d go so far as to call myself an “artist”. My poems have been published in numerous compilation books and I’ve picked up the odd award (even international ones.) I have had some general newspaper articles, but I mostly freelance for a living (if you can call it a living.) For much time, I studied Kempo and kick-boxing, thus I love to spar. Also, I study religion, philosophy, forensic sciences, cryptozoology, criminology, history, sociology, theory, political sciences, parapsychology, folklore, general psychology, occult studies and paranormal research/supernatural engineering when I can find the time, and recently found the time to become an ordained minister for Luciferian faith, why not? I sin too. Ah yes, my time, which tends to revolve around a little thing that follows me around called “Crohn’s disease”. It’s an intestinal disease that causes much discomfort and dangerous medications. Sometimes I think that I am too young to ail like this, but then I think of all of the sick children and count my blessings. I have also been so lucky as to recieve nasty Crohn's complications, such as, Gall-bladder disease and bouts of Pancreatitis. Yet, I'm still kicking and thank God for Percocets. Throughout my life, I have made some odd choices, such as participating in “evil”, blasphemous and controversial adult photographs, appearing in magazines and dozens websites. And am presently working on design and content for LordSin.com, a demonic and blashemous adult site for my fellow sinners all over the world. It is and was trivial to me, as it is only vanity, plus more than a couple dollars. This has offended many, as to be expected, but don’t let my appearance fool you. I may be on the flip side, but I have a mind and the courage to back my convictions. I can and have done these things guilt-free, which I pride myself in. Everyday I lay in the bed I’ve made and accept the choices I have made, bad and good. I, for these reasons ask to be treated with respect for my accomplishments, morals and consideration (or tolerance) for others. I am not rebellious or immature, nor am I a victim. I have simply devoted my time to expanding my mind and, unfortunately, learning life lessons and experiences that I hope nobody else has to go through, but many will. The typical cliches of child abuse, sexual, physical and emotional. A drug addict and severely alcoholic father, whose dying, bloody carcass was discovered by me at age seventeen after yet another long, painful evening of alcohol induced distress. I've been poor trailer trash, been there through rape, violence, incest, disease, blah, blah, blah. Dwell, no. Complain, no. Seek sympathy,no. Thus, wrist-slicing, sad, gothy, teenagers whinning over a divorce in suburbia is ridiculous to me. I have seen good, evil, the worst, the best and everything in-between. This may explain my cynical attitude. Toughen up kiddos. My studies cover so much about other "dimensions" and "realities" that I have a hard time living in ours, as it is seemingly rediculous. We are so insignificant in the whole scheme of things. This brings me to my rant; beware…. From an outside perspective, it appears that Christianity (and it’s branches) are brain-washing cults, to be put negatively. I often see and hear far too many excuses for what is unexplainable. The human mind cannot even begin to grasp the concept of “the other side”, phenomena, life, purpose and the where, what and why. People always seem to make excuses and assumptions because it is safer that way and much easier to understand. A lot of Biblical interpretations do this throughout history. This, to me, makes human nature so fascinating. The fear of the unknown and the need to know drives so many to the extents they go. Despite what some might say, as we are apparently born sinners, I do not think that we should feel guilty for being human, due to some supposed historical sins. Faith is only faith, if it could be explained, it wouldn’t be faith anymore, it would be proven fact. Sadly, so many try to justify their faith which leads to battles. Religious wars. I much prefer when it is taken as it is, great theory and literature at most. It seems that naturally, everyone needs something to hold on to. Something to keep them going, because if it gets any worse than "this", game over. I wouldn't generalize by implying that the religious are bad people, I personally would simply look deeper into the obvious, and not feel the need to have an explanation for everything. The need for control of ourselves and our lives is scary. Biblical intentions may be "so-called good", but end up more harmful than anything when taken into the wrong context, which it often is. Some priests are pedophiles, due to domination issues but mainly sexual oppression. It is also obvious that interpretations have been the root of much sexism, racism, homophobia, sexual oppression and child abuse. You know, woman came from Adam’s rib, the woman stays at home and cooks, a typical dominant male and chauvinistic good Christian family. Sodom and Gomorrah, where men lay down with men and God turned his cheek. After all, he made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. That must be the cue for us to persecute homosexuals. I missed that part. The KKK can quote scripture that they’ve taken as an idea to “hate them niggers.” This is what happens when stupid people walk the planet. Many are unlike this but still, I see so much judgement. Where’s the "unconditional love" that your God wants? Absolute hypocrisy. Thanks to these assumptions, Christianity and its posses have been the number one cause of death throughout time. Killing in the name of God has been so prominent throughout history. I wouldn’t go so far as to blame the Bible, but I would certainly blame the readers. As far as my experience goes, these belief systems seem to be much more negative and painful than any occult studies. I do believe that many of the followers are misinformed, especially if they’re raised into it, and the natural element of confusion. Another sensitive issue is that they (the Christians and friends) forget to take science into consideration (possibly deliberately), which has already proven much of the beliefs wrong. If only I could break into the Vatican vault. I’d have a heyday! Sometimes, for these reasons, I think that only the Pope understands what I am saying, since he does know of the many holes in this system of faith, but he’ll never tell. Money makes God. As far as science is concerned, in ancient times of Greek mythology, people believed that Zeus made thunder, as it was the only explanation that people could make to understand the boom. Science later showed what was really occurring in the skies. I am sure, down the road, we will be shown much more. It seems to me that God and Satan are simply man-made titles and names for things that we do not comprehend or understand. If it feels good, it’s God…. Depending on your point of perspective, even the Devil is a religious man. So much for; "Fuck religion! Satan kicks ass!" dudes. My personal beliefs, likes and dislikes are mine simply for me. Not to be a statistic, a cliché or follow in some bogus trend. I find it frustrating when people preach about something that they are not fully educated about. Their theories have no basis and they are often misinformed and this gives me a headache! This doesn’t make me right, but education and thought seem to be working for me. Blind faith and ignorance, a very fine line between the two. Or even the same thing. Faith is so often misplaced. I would encourage those who seek greater knowledge to look beyond the big book. Maybe inquire into mathematical chaos, the universe, space, realms, astral planes, ectoplasm and time and energy theories or even nothing at all. Though I am sure the Christian would try and place it into his own context and give it all Biblical titles. Paint it any color you wish, when it comes down to it, it’s probably all the same. And that doesn’t make the Christian titles correct. No one is right. If only life was as simple and basic as human beings are, arguing; "My God is better than your God!" That aside, I have learned a great deal from my late father about life, wisdom and being calm. I don’t like to take everyday life too seriously. I’d much rather sit around in boxer shorts, howling at the moon, eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, drinking chocolate milk and chewing Percocets. Wisdom comes with age, unless one makes a willing effort to take in things around them. Always keep your mouth shut, ears open and "see no, speak no, hear no." Respect is earned not given and talk minus action equals zero. Only believe half of what you see and none of what your hear. A real tough guy never talks about how tough he is, and a real witch isn’t in a coven. Knowledge is silent. Silence is golden. Life is an argument, a big one. As my babble comes to an end I must add that the wonderful thing about life is choices. We all make our own. I make mine and always reap what I sew. Keeping an open mind certainly makes things a lot easier. Thus, I throw on my combat boots and leather jacket, go out and get assumed as a mindless, drug using, “metalhead” rocker chick or "gothic"(ugh! I don't fucking paint my face!)and like it like that. My closing quote; “Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition” –anonymous, and so true… Fuck feminism, fuck chauvinism. What year are we living in? Sex should absolutely not be an issue. It strikes me as irrelevant, unless dealing with sexuality. Be dominant, be submissive, be equal, be nothing, I don't care... .