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*Random Things*
ahh! digested food-dartanian
may 21 and may 31
"so do you guys sleep or just do it all night."-vikas ghandi
-wow i can't even take 1000 pics
*you're not a machine-aubrey thomas
come on lets make up bar code things-jake randell

i don't want to erase this
because i'll probably forget it
and that would suck, its funny to me
heat this side down 7/29/04

its 2:30 in the morning and i can't sleep. i'm sitting here with a bag of popcorn and some water. popcorn is so addicting for me.
i'm thinking too much and thats why i can't sleep. i'm so tired. i didn't get much sleep last night. i should've just gone to work again tonight. i could use the money...next time, too tired.
i miss high school. not all of it. i miss skipping class sometimes to go to taco bell or mcdonalds. i miss the high school drama. hearing about people and the crap they did...hilarious. i miss laughing with friends about the stupidest things. i miss having true friends. i miss the randomness of how i was then. where one moment i would be so antisocial just to piss people off and the next be at the same party with them. i miss doing things at the absolute last minute and getting a great grade for it. i miss the people.
i have a great plan for the 14th. only haley knows about it because she is kind of helping me. nesha will probably know too. the only person that can't know is daniel...because its for him.
i've already packed one huge bag for missouri. not because i'm starting to pack but because i had the time. if i wanted i could pack another one right now but i'm just going to wait until i get some other suit cases. when i think about leaving i get all depressed like. i even started crying when dan and i were on the hammock. i know i know i'm a big baby. but hey what can i say i'm in love and i'm going to miss him so much.
i feel like there is so much i have to do before i leave. which i guess there is. i want to say bye to a couple people of course. but not one of those fake byes where everyone is like awe keep in touch and here's my number we can talk blah blah blah. i mean the byes to people that mean so much to you. the ones you'll remember most. really close friends. or past friends. i'll see what i can do.
i'm done with my popcorn and water so i have to go to sleep now. wish me luck.
but you wouldn't let me die
23 days 7/26/04

these nights that we've been drinking no they never got us anywhere
my backyard is awesome. i'm thinking about having a bbq before i leave...which is in 23 days. if you want to come let me know.
i can't wait to leave this house. but i don't want to leave anything else. leave my mom mostly. this will be the best and worst year. i'm really excited about going and coming back. things i'm looking forward to the most are coming back in december to pick up my new car, valentine's day, indoor season, next summer when i move into an apartment in arlington and something else in the summer.
i have this sudden urge to play poker. and drive. not at the same time. and i can do both with daniel.
thank you ben for the only comment i've gotten in a long time. i miss getting a couple comments. it was fun and sometimes funny...that is such a weird word. funny. anyways comment more you people. no its ok i don't care.
all i've been listening to lately is something corporate which is awesome. i love the piano. konstantine and me and the moon are a couple favorites. i need more music. so i'm open for suggestions.
i'm kind of tired so i'm going to take a nap on the hammock.
maybe when the room is empty
some people think cucumbers taste better pickles 7/17/04

today was a very good day. well except the extremely painful headache that was brought on by allergies. which i have to take medicine for. which i ran out of last week. and can't get refilled until monday. will i get a headache tomorrow....yes i will. blasted blastedness.
but yes today was good. good clothes. good talk. good everything. i'm reading a new book with dan that his mom gave to us. well i'm not going to say which book and why because its just not needed at the moment.
so i'm really close to actually putting in the picture page i just need to get a couple more cameras developed and i'll be good to go. i'm not going to make it all fancy just a bunch of pictures and a discription for them.
missouri is 9 and a half hours away unless you get cut off by a jerk of a lady then its closer to 10. but i'll only be there for a year for sure now. i'm all registered. the school is extremely small. only 1400 or so students. 400 of them being freshmen. but it'll do since its pretty much only for me to get away for a little while.
i can't wait for next summer...i so get cited.
well i finally got my bank account going. it feels pretty cool. i have 401 dollars right now. i get my checks and my debit and credit cards in about 2 wks. i also got my license finally and the picture looks alright i guess. it'll do for six years. another thing i got was a winstar casinos players club card. i won 110 dollars there but then it somehow vanished as the night went on...who knows?
i'm home alone right now and probably will be for most of the night. my parents are at a birthday party which really means lets get totally drunk and see if you make it home tonight.
nesha really made me realize something tonight. no matter how distant you get from your true friends it will always come back. really makes you think about who they really are. and i know who mine are. i guess thats all for now on that.
lili is coming soon and i'm so happy because i miss her so much. i can't wait to tell her about everything in detail. shelbie and kaila are so cute and i need their hugs and kisses. and she is giving me stuff for the dorm...which is really nice.
i think i'm going to sleep.
dan cut his hair so it looks similar to the picture below...just in case you wanted to know.
happy birthday 7/11/04

19...you are old. thats an old picture. he has longer hair now. i think he looks really good in this one though. that and i don't have a picture of him now to put on here.
its been a long time and i think i'm just doing this for myself. and no longer care who reads it and if its even read.
i'm leaving like the rest of the class of 2004 in august to start school. missouri valley college is 11 hours away. sfa is 3. i'm going to missouri. more money. its that simple. i think i'm only going to be there for a year. or that is what i'm planning on. there are only 800 or so students there. i won't be taking a car until december. the only people i know there are flo and coach pickens. i'm excited.
beautifully -- the only way i can describe how things are going. i don't work and i don't need to. which is pretty nice. being relaxed is awesome. great!
i think i'm done and i need to take a nap before dan gets here.
i still don't like you
its over now 5/21/04

that was it. my last day it was only half a day of school...first period and the senior award thing. i'm not sad but in a way i am. i think i'm more happy though. that and i don't think its set in that i'm done with that. i'm going to missouri. i didn't just decide this it took a lot of time to think about. i'll be there for the first year and transfer to sfa for the last three years. or maybe even unt but that isn't until later. i have time to think about that.
i was thinking about the people and things i'm going to miss about high school. there are only two people i will truly miss. one is someone i now consider to be one of the best friends i could ever have and always needed and the other somewhat of a distant best friend. dartanian and tenesha duncan. there is so much i would like to say about these two great people that have helped me out so much in such little time. many thanks from me go out to you two.
other than dartanian and duncan i'm sure i'll miss other things about high school...i guess i just can't explain them right now.
graduation will be one of the best days. project graduation afterwards will be even better...and also in between the two of those. YEAH CUZ!! too bad yall can't actually hear me saying that. ask jaimar he is the original this time. i invited john to my graduation which is kind of weird. john is my biological father and i was just like whatever just invite him maybe i'll get a gift or something. i'm getting two parties. both will probably be lame. the first is the sunday before graduation with my cousin...or whatever he is...from boswell. so its basically his party. and the other is at my other cousins? community pool where its basically a drunken mexican get together and if i want to invite some people then i'm allowed to. but i didn't so oh well.
my parents need to hurry up with this new car thing i don't know how much more i could take of douglass randomly shaking at a stop sign. maybe they are waiting for my birthday...which by the way is in 5 days. i still don't know what i want to do. mom thinks i should throw a huge party but i don't want to deal with who can and can't come...well ok nevermind i could because i can tell who i don't want to come. and its you. and someone you know. i don't know i'll think about having one...talk it over with gel, rachel, and j-meezy. killer combo. i tell you...
yes its true i'm black mamba. roger you got it out of me. you crazy negotiator you. you are now in a small group that know why they call me black mamba. and i trust you not to say anything. good work.
i almost passed out about three or four times today. wooo! it was crazy. gel was on the phone with me one time and said i needed to go to the hospital. i laughed and fell down in my chair. good times.
i feel like there is so much more to say but i'm kind of tired and don't feel like writing anymore. i'll be back later.
but you can just call me jak...or kar...whatever pleases you.
7 days, 12 days, 17 days 5/14/04

last day of school, birthday, graduation. may is such a great month. my cousin is graduating from boswell two days after i am. i win. our moms are throwing us a party the sunday before my graduation. the 30th and his mom is bringing drinks for him and asked my mom to ask me if i wanted anything different from what she was bringing. my mom told her i didn't drink. i laughed because she was trying to look like the better parent she didn't even ask me. i don't but still she could've asked. afterwards she asked if i did and that rita would buy it for me so i told her some smirnoff twisted will do...it was a joke but she didn't find it very funny.
missouri is offering more money its up 80 or 85 percent just to run a 100 and a 200, i'm going crazy. i have a two week try out if i go to sfa and probably the same for unt. fafsa will only pay for maybe two years. it'd be cool to go out of state but i'm trying to stay in so georgia...not really an option. sorry roger but the way i'm choosing where to go is by what is the closest to home. i'm pretty sure i told my coach that and she came up to me the other day and said tennessee is willing to give out a full ride. too bad tennessee is pretty far and our track team right now...out of season...could kill them.
man i need to start running and working out again. i think gel wanted to start that up next week. so in other words we'll get dressed to work out call rachel and head to thrift town and pick up some "special" snow cones on the way there.
she let me drive her focus it was pretty cool the steering wheel was crazy small i felt huge...well bigger. i think thats what my dad is buying me but knowing him he'll dish out a couple more thousand for the mustang. i'm not complaining but him spending that much on a car i'd rather have towards school. i like my little mercedes, douglass/lloyd, he is such a trooper.
i don't know why the seniors have to come next week its nothing but reviews and weaving in art. i'm making a little poem movie in digital graphics. its so gay but maybe i'll just put it up here so you guys have something to laugh at.
next wednesday me and tom are skipping art so we can go out to eat with jake and aubrey. 7.14...start saving up. the four of us have astronomy together. its fun especially with coach adot and the special appearances by dartanian.
i need more sleep. i tried in class but the sub came and woke me up...lame. in pre-cal we had a sub from hell. we seriously weren't allowed to talk. she wouldn't even let me go to the bathroom. two days we had this lady. madness.
i noticed on my site i really don't talk about anything interesting. i'm pretty sure it'll be better in the summer because then i'll have way too much time to think.
i don't want to waste my time talking about you.
that wasn't me, that was johnny rocket
hey lush have fun its the weekend 5/10/04

the past two weekends have been great. there are only a few people who know why. gel being the main one. and now there are only two weeks left. woooohaaaa! sorry about that but summer is so close...well for me. this summer is going to be the best so far. i'm getting a new car, going to get a job, not coming home some nights, hopefully a road trip to amarillo...and even the parties.
i finally got my picutes developed so as soon as i get a lay out of how i want to use them i'll put them up in the pictures page i talked about so long ago. i'm serious this time though i'll get them up.
i still have no idea where i'm going to go to college. my mom told me she thinks that i'm not going to make it to the first year. i wanted to hit her. no not really but i was mad.
but now its time to talk to you. how are you?...i really don't care so please don't tell me. i hate hearing about your drama. you did this and you did that. you aren't cool get over it. you weren't wanted there. i'm glad you didn't show.
i'll be back to write some more.
i have to go now.
thanks for the laugh 4/19/04

i can't sleep and there is one reason why and i'm only going to tell one person if i remember to. but i will because they'll read this and ask. i want to call dan but he is writing his paper and i told him no breaks.
i can't wait for graduation. freedom...sort of. its so close and the dragon knows it so she's breathing out more fire. i can't stand being around her i get depressed or angry and i hate that. i think of other things but she has this way of making me mad.
lili is coming down this friday so we can do the cool sister thing and she'll help me get ready for prom saturday. i so get cited. this weekend will be the best. i'll be with my lovely boyfriend. my sister and the girls are coming. i'll be so happy. i'm sure there will be moments when i'm not but the happy will out weight that.
i'm wearing pink two days in a row. today was hot pink and tomorrow is light pink. i didn't really plan it. i woke up late this morning and that was the first shirt i got. tomorrow is team pictures for track and they decided on light pink. pink is every where now. dan will be wearing a pink tie to match a strip of pink on my dress. still trying to get the pink tips but its probably not going to work out. pink is the color of my posts...pink isn't bad. but pink is not my favorite color. if you know which one it is...have a cookie.
i have so many things to fill out. this recruiting thing for SFA asked if i was married or single...i'm not either of them so i made a new box for my answer. i laughed to myself about it. no one was around to laugh with me or at me.
when i'm around you i get quiet only because i don't want to talk to you. its not the same. i think of things that might make you go away or an excuse for me to leave. i make fun of you every chance i get and some other people laugh with me about it. i don't like you. i don't know you. you don't know me. i'll see you later but only because you're there and not because i want to.
nesha this is your slap. as the five fingers would say to the face...whhhaaattt!!?? brand new show it still counts. also a slap from your mother.
i need stuff. i need money. i need a job...change the first two to want. the summer is coming up fast and i have to figure out a way to not spend so much time sitting and more time actually doing things. any ideas? great. i don't really need a job because i have money to get stuff. but it'll give me something to do. don't ask how i get money because i'm not going to say.
i want/need more sleep but i think too much at night which doesn't help me out. thats why i was here doing this.
sleeping
sitting in astronomy 4/19/04

i'm actually in class right now so this might be short. i'm supposed to be doing a power point over black holes...which are very cool. but i'm too tired and don't really feel like it. well i'm not really tired more lazy.
district was awesome. so many funny things and such good times. it started with a trash can with your name on it. and it was funny because i don't like you and it fit so perfectly.
tom is telling me things about his test in their next class and its like he is talking in another language because i have no idea what him or aubrey are talking about. crazy people and coach adot gets really excited about all these kind of things.
i'm going to stop now and fix this later because class is almost over.
going into a black hole
standing on the edge of summer 4/11/04

i had a hamburger today. the best one i've ever had. and i'll have a steak tomorrow and it'll be the best one i've ever had. and i'm going to mcdonalds tuesday morning and that breakfast muffin sandwhich will be the best one i've ever had. all of this because today is...EASTER! yes, yes it is. i ate meat and pork and man did it taste great. i think i lost about 10 lbs...forget the atkins diet. but i wasn't on that so yeah.
i know i haven't posted in such a long time but i'm such a busy lazy person. i've been laying down, reading annoying peoples livejournals, attempting homework, listening to music...did i mention sleeping? i mean look at all that. also my computer is probably the oldest most ghetto one to still sometimes work. there is only so much i can do in one day.
prom is in two weeks, i still have a couple more things to do but its going to be great. i have a surprise planned for dan and only one person is going to find out about it if i get to talk to them anytime soon. sorry dan but i can't tell you or you'll get your hopes up. also none of the people who read this will find out either. you might get mad. don't worry my friend i'll surprise you someday.
this thursday and friday is district. i might be too excited about it. its my last track district then it'll be my last track regionals then my first and last track state. its going to be too crunk (its ok i'm officialy black) we are going to be wearing one sock and then its going to be airbrushed with our nicknames. dan and i decided black jack would be better than black gyrl or ghetto gyrl. it sounds a little bit cooler. we are definately going to blow these girls away. its at keller stadium i don't know exact times but when i know you'll know. come and watch us you'll enjoy it. unless you don't live in the area then i don't know what to tell you.
lately i've been going to the live journal websites and pressing random and laughing. there are some people that are very stupid. i have found a couple of people and i know them and i laugh at the stupid things they write about. but i can't say much because i bet people think what i write is stupid. i don't care though i barely post anyways.
i'm trying not to complain as much and i think its working. instead of complaining i make fun of people with dan about how messed up they are. right now we're laughing at you and adding one and one...eleven. baha you don't understand. i love inside jokes. i used to have a whole bunch with people but i've definately forgotten most of those. probably because i grew up just a bit...or something i don't know. my entire house is clean...wait except my room but it would be if it wasn't for my mother. ask dan he lost his socks in the jungle. baha got you again.
even though i really only want to go to UTA i'm going to go ahead and try UNT. i can transfer later right? or maybe i'll end up liking it there, who knows. the real thing is that i just need to get accepted somewhere right now. if worse comes to worse i'm moving to missouri...no i'm not.
that'll be all for today i probably won't change the running or lyrics until next post.
you hush i'll kill you 5 times before you hit the ground...baha.
when you say my name 3/23/04

amazing. simply amazing. so many good things have been happening at the start of this week. and last week was also very cool.
spring break...the first week was nice nothing too crazy but the second week was the best. started the week with dan and ended with amarillo. i won't go into great detail but lets just say good news for us bad news for me...haha you don't get it. i have the cutest niece so don't even try and argue.
only nine weeks left and i guess you could say i'm free. these past two days have been great school is easy, track is awesome, dan is the bestest. the dragon is still blowing fire but i have a shield so i only have a mild burn.
the bet is if i can get a scholarship in a month i get a new cell phone, finally. i'm pretty happy about this because i already have an offer and i'm already talking to UTA and UNT sent me some interesting news today...bummer i don't want to go there anymore. so shut up hoe!
i should be back on the 4*100 by tomorrow and how i've missed it. coach is one of the coolest people ever. it was great when she told me hey you better beat brittney w. because she is talking mess. well not exactly that but you know, you know. i'm not hurting anymore and i'm bustin' out. watch out.
i love dan. i don't think you want to hear all my reasons why so i'll leave it at that.
i can't wait for april 6th and 24th and may 26th and 31st. modest mouse, prom, birthday, graduation. and thanks for all the new music you guys mentioned i love it...yeah bong. i found an old cd of mine and i'm glad i did because its awesome. i haven't gotten my dress yet and i need to do that soon. i'll be turning the young age of 18. today alisa turned 18 and she bought some smokes, i laughed. i won't be doing that but i'm up for any ideas on what i should do on this great day...you know legal things that i couldn't do before. should i have a graduation party?...hmm, i don't think so i'm not a very "social" person. i know my family will end up doing that and that'll be cool, kind of like a second birthday. score! yes, yes you did.
80s are awesome and always will be, its mostly the music.
my hair takes too long to grow but everyone said it looked long...too bad its really still short. blasted.
i'm very happy for you nesha and yes i'm sorry but there is hate still left and you know in what direction.
what?! what?! whaaat?!
syke! syke! syke!...cartoons are awesome.
so just let it be, i'm out this bia
they all laughed and slapped me five 3/9/04

another one of those i'm pissed and going to post entries. enjoy my ranting about one thing i pretty much went from good to bad.
time trials today. i've never hated these so much until this year. like i've mentioned in the running page...i'm hurting. i don't think anything is torn but it hurts like it is. all the trainer says is to heat, ice, and stretch. so thats what i do and it hasn't helped so far. of course this is slowing me down. but even before this i'm not as fast as i used to be. my sophomore year was the best year for track. 4*100, 4*200, 200 open. i love the 200 just something about hugging that curve and kicking that straight. thats my race and i was good. 2nd place at district that year with my record time of 25.25. i didn't get to run pretty much all my junior year because i failed out, one of the stupidest things i have ever done. even when i did run last year no one could catch me during time trials came in first for both the 200 and 100. it felt really good but this year its different. i don't get first in either of them anymore. underclassmen kill me. today i had a hard time just staying with them until the end. britney and rachel kill me in the 200. at meets i don't get first or second but i settle for third or fourth. yes i do try and run faster and yes i get positive at the line even though you don't think i do. but it hurts so much to watch it leave you and most of the time you can't do much about it. and i'd like to take out an event but i can't right now its not an option. but if i don't somone won't feel sorry for me if i'm hurting because i should've known to get out of it. it sucks because to me it just sounds like they don't care in a way. i know they do but i'd like to be backed up. there are so many fast girls out there and i'm not saying i'm slow but its hard. some of them are invited to nike invitationals like the skyline girls. if you know them and seen them run then you know how i feel but if you haven't then i don't know what to say. i'm done because i guess i'm not so pissed anymore. i just needed to yell and this is where i did it.
i'm sorry
i'll be better next time.
you don't know me so well 3/8/04

yes its been awhile.
its spring break and i've already started it off in a very awesome way only two people know how and it'll probably stay that way. one thing that would make it even better is if the dragon would let go to amarillo. but i'm not getting my hopes up for that one because i'm almost sure i won't be able to. lili, my sister, even got a bigger house just so i could stay with her...no not really but she did get an awesome house.
i'm addicted to sopita again. i tried to stop but now that i don't have beef or pork thats pretty much all i eat...and cereal. and most of you have no idea about what sopita is, well its good stuff.
i had ice cream and coke yesterday...i feel bad. and i'll pay for it tomorrow.
ordered the new modest mouse cd, sucks that they ran out of autographed booklets. at least i'm getting the cd. i've heard parts and i'll already like it. plus its modest mouse, duh. its coming out in april so go get it...if you're into them. still looking for new music so when you're ready just let me know what you have.
i've updated the lyrics and i'm doing it differently and i'll update it more often, sorry about it being boring. if you remember my little subprofile that i used to have it'll be like that.
i was thinking about adding a guestbook in here but i can barely get people to comment so it would be a failure.
i need to do laundry and go shopping. i have to go to ULTA, the thrift store, the mall, and some random places. i need to call nesha...or you call me since you're going to be reading this sooner or later.
with a kiss goodbye
sang into your machine 2/24/04

i hate high school. went to school today for absolutely nothing. wasted day and didn't learn anything. no reason the seniors had to be there. stupid tunnell.
i went to work with my mom last night we made bagels and energy bars. i got 20 bucks out of it. i also made myself a strawberry cheesecake...very good. i ate some of it for breakfast this morning.
i'm going to add in a running type page it should be there already unless i got really lazy, i'm sorry. it'll say how i did that weekend at the meet and how awesome i am...a time to be cocky. and that pictures page will be there as soon as i get this scanner going or when i go to nesha's. so sorry about that too.
i found out today i can get into college so i'm actually pretty happy about that. and that sentence probably sounds like i wasn't going anyways...but i am, yeah you know what don't worry about it. people are telling me to go to A&M but i don't really want to. yeah its cool and all but i want to be here at UTA. not too close and not too far. flo told me the same college that layed down an offer for running is the one he might go to, so scratch that off my list. blasted.
i'm with roger on the bright eyes song, i really like it and i listen to it all the time. i like the other ones that ben told me about but i just listen to this one more. i need more music so i'm open for any ideas...unless i don't like it. and i'll let you know if i don't. give it a try anyways.
my burgundy hair has pretty much faded away so its time for ULTA and STARBUCKS!! yes! 3 bucks for hair dye i'm there fo sho. (i'm sorry nesha i'll stop)
i ran in the rain today it was awesome. i'm in such a good mood.
eat some cake and be happy.
just another day 2/15/04

my hands are red

i'm pissed at everything, name something i'll tell you why

there are so many things i want to say but i can't

i can barely breathe

never felt so alone as i do right now

...red and wet eyes

i'll leave it at that
one 2/14/04

put in a new song for the lyrics because its valentine's day and our one year anniversary.
i'm happy but sad, that sucks. valentine's day...i used to hate this day. that changed last year and now i love it. dan is in houston right now and i won't see him until tomorrow. i'm actually home alone right now and it would be depressing if i didn't have dan. we can't keep our gifts secret...ever. i'm totally broke now. well i have three dollars in change. man, i can do a lot with that. awesome.
i woke up to see that we're covered in snow. and its not like a couple of times we had nothing but ice where if you stepped on your lawn you'd fall. its not the cool snow but it'll do for ft worth texas. i haven't gone out to play because my friends live across the tracks. stupid watauga.
i'm still stuck on how cool this day has been. i woke up to an awesome song. dan called me. its our anniversary. my hair looks super cool, man i need a webcam. no one is home. mom isn't yelling...yet. i'm updating. i have straight a's. dad gave me candy. and its not even over yet. who knows what'll happen next. i think i might be too happy now. dang candy.
i have so much to do in less than 3 months. blasted procrastination. yeah...i'm going to stop now i'll try and post more often so this might seem more interesing.
missed the last train home.
it sucks like this 2/7/04

due to popular demand i've changed my color to pink, is this better to read, if not then its just going to be white...no more being creative, i'm tired.
nesha and i changed our hair color today and are part of the ULTA club. mine is burgundy and hers is...burgundy. i really like it and she said it looked awesome. its not a natural color so i could kicked out of school. if that happens it would be pretty gay and it would give my mom another reason to be a...you know.
when i hang out with nesha i realize how much of a social outcast i am. i guess i'm ok with that but its mostly because i don't play soccer anymore...stupid cross country and track. i'd probably get into more trouble if i went out more often...especially with nesha. you know i love ya nesha.
3 months left...thats not a lot of time. i need to hurry up and get accepted to UTA. i've already decided thats where i'm going. they are faster than UNT and i can always tell my older sister i'm cooler. i thought about other schools like...A&M and ACU or Texas Tech but they're too far and probably too fast for this white girl. i'm scared to talk to my school counselor about going for a track scholarship, they'll probably screw up everything. that is pretty much what they are known for.
i started this post pissed as usual but ended it feeling pretty good. thanks dan.(7 days left...i hope to see you before then.)
well so long, farewell, goodbye.
dark and alone 2/1/04

i added a picture of me in my profile page. i'll probably add in a new page to put in all sorts of pictures. i don't have a webcam...yet, so when i get that i'll start playing around with that. hmm, hmm, hmm, yes.(that was for you dan)
graduation is getting closer and i ordered my cap and gown plus announcements. i got into an argument with my mom about who i could invite it made me really mad...i mean its my graduation this year i want to invite whoever i want. but i lost that fight. oh well i'll win the next one. and before graduation there is prom..."be a princess for a day" as haley would say. i haven't found a dress yet but i've seen some very beautiful ones that i'm going to take a look at...and dan will match.
donnie darko...has anyone seen it? that is one of my favorite movies. i think about it all the time just the movie and things in it blow my mind. i've heard so many different hmm...i guess you could say theories people have come up with.
something sad happened to me today...i heard a song and i thought it was kind of catchy and i...um...i kind of liked it. it was britney spears...toxic. my older sister has her cd and i remember her telling me to listen to that song and i laughed because i thought wow what a crazy song about sex. i heard it again today and i'm sorry but i liked it. i won't be listening to it all the time but if i see it on fuse again i'll probably watch. don't throw too many stones, i couldn't help it. i guess i just needed to get that off my chest.
i really need to add more to the site. it seems kind of plain...any ideas?
take the door on your left and i'll see you at the next light
i know i'm not about to 1/26/04

its true...i haven't updated in awhile. my apologies to those who read.
i drew marshmallows in art today while tom created hawaii...it started with the moon revolving around the earth...and a comet. that was probably the best part of my day. i don't think there was a time where our little table wasn't laughing. i needed a good laugh because i think about too many things and take them all too far. so someone stop me if you can.
it seems like i'm always sad...or pissed...better yet, emo. that is kind of why i barely post but then again aren't those the best times to post. a time to just say all things that piss you off for entertainment and see who else gets pissed off. everyone have a party...being mad. i think that would be a party where there would be the most alcohol. so you can drink your worries away...haha not really don't listen i don't know what it'll do to you.
i don't think i'll be going to unt...i'm just not feeling it. i'm almost sure i'll end up at uta which is fine by me as long as i can run. track really started today and it did a nice little number on my joints. i'm ok though just a small amount of pain i've gone through worse. i think the team wants to get matching spikes...which i guess is cool but i still want my dream ones. maybe i'll get those for college, probably not but i can still dream right?
i hate being at home especially when i don't have homework. those days are extremely boring. someone give me something exciting or interesting to do.
catch you on the next train, buh-dee.
we'll be lying in the rain 1/19/04

well i'm in a pretty pissed off mood and i thought "hey...what a great time to post!" i don't know if i can actually say what is bothering me so much or at least say that it is just one thing. when i get mad i'll sit on my bed, listen to music, then write in my big black book. i'll start thinking about so many things and that doesn't help me because that is when mad goes to pissed/boarder line furious. i think negative things or the past and a lot of my past sucks so i'm screwed.
i don't get along with girls all that well. i don't think they like me...well haley does and nesha...and alisa, frankie...ok well i know that there are some that hate me. there point proven.
going back to i'm really pissed right now...it won't go away. haley and i are talking about boys and how they frustrate us (no h) we are having an emo party at the moment. haley is a very funny person...you should talk to her. dan said she looks like tracy i think most remember that from his website.
i got an interesting im last night from someone who was trashed. it was on kyle's s/n but then i thought it was ben but i think it turned out to be jason...whoever it was i thought it was funny.
fromtheporcupine: as long as you don't do it all the time
fromtheporcupine: well moreso as long as it doesn't get in the way of your relationship with God
kyle said that about being trashed and i've been thinking about that a lot today and only two people know why but i'm not starting anything.
i'm basically rambling on about nothing but it may be helping me feel better. oh well i'm tired and this is the end.
i bid you farewell as you pass through my window.
can't count all the eyes that stare 1/12/04

thanks go out to ben for pretty much setting the record high of 6 on my comments
i guess you could say i've been kind of busy. i spent most of my time with dan, well i tried to at least. the evil dragon in front of my cave stopped me a couple of times. yesterday was a really bad day because that was when dan left, i'm sure i've got nothing on ben or kyle and their girls, now i'll only get to see him on the weekends or probably less than that. by the way i am the biggest baby...end of story.
i got a letter from kansas wesleyan university, they want to watch me run. i felt weird when i read it and it brought a couple of tears. i was just really happy that a school wanted me to be a part of their program, it didn't matter what school it was. track is one of the best things for me the only thing i have or at least somewhat good at, kind of. something that i enjoy doing and have been doing for awhile and to get that little of recognition was big for me. my parents on the other hand just yelled at me about grades and were like who knows you may never make into college...thanks guys, awesome job parenting!
if you happen to have any suggestions for the lyrics place let me know and i'll tell you what i think.
i like my new schedule for this last semester of high school.
Digital Graphics
Astronomy
Pre-Cal
Art
and i only have one book. my teachers are pretty cool, two of them seem like pushovers so i guess i'll do just fine with them. i'm not really up for graduating yet. i think its more where i want to just leave my house soon and not leave the really easy classes.
until our next secret gathering...good night.
happier like this 1/3/04

i've decide to skip all the proper english stuff...like caps and sentences. i'll try using paragraphs but i'm not making any promises.

I always hoped I'd build my world around you
And it's a miracle I ever found you
Do the colours of the rainbow radiate to everyone
Now I don't know how I could live without you
But certainly I know I'm not about to
I don't believe in anything I see unless I can feel it too
thanks to roger who said to download badly drawn boy songs and ben because i stole his cd while his was gone...shh.
i live in texas and its january...it was hot outside today. it felt kind of like spring, i thought it was a pretty day. even went to the park...nice time swinging and talking about how we'd like things to be in the future. speaking of...i don't want to be an fbi agent anymore. i'd like to be in advertising. nesha said she could see me doing that and so can i. i guess thats a good thing, right?
ur stupid and should not post anything else ever again
tim | 12.31.03 - 4:48 am |
i read this comment and laughed. like this person actually matters to me i have no idea who he is and i don't really care to know. i'm not doing this to please anyone more just for me to have fun and not be bored so much. i do the comment thing so i can see what other people have to say about what i think. not many people comment but i don't mind. i'm not going to freak out if you don't like what i say. just let me know...i think i'm pretty easy going unless you piss me off. cough cough mom cough.
i haven't stopped fighting with my mom. everyday its the same thing and she does't win...she knows that but she continues to fight. i also found out something that, i guess you could say, hit me kind of hard. i've only told one person...wait...ok two. i don't think i want to tell anyone else. this could be called a "depressing" time but i'm trying to hold that from coming to the surface so i don't have a breakdown.
good day townsmen...until our next gathering, i wish you well.
my hopes are so high 12/31/03

I want this break to be over so I can go to school, run, and then graduate. I set a goal for myself...a real one. I'm going to State this year for the 200. I don't know if I'm going to place or anything but I'm going. I'll be District Champion then go to Region and place maybe...haha second or third. Do you think I can do it?

I've been listening to a lot of music lately. I thought it would be interesting to do a post with nothing but lyrics expressing how I was doing or felt. I'll get to it later...someone remind me to do that. I did end up listening to that Blink cd. "All Of This" isn't bad. Robert Smith from The Cure provides the vocals on that song. I've always been a big fan of The Cure, 80s...come on now, so that is pretty much why I like it the most. I really like the piano and I hear Ben is really good at that. I've heard him a couple of times and I liked it. I also listened to his Badly Drawn Boy cd and I'm a human being, so there ya go. Like that one imposter.
where do we go from here 12/28/03

Nice discussion guys...real nice. Its ok no hard feelings. I was really excited about Christmas but I cheated and found out everything I was getting. That really takes the fun out of getting my new speakers in my benz and the mp3 player. Dan's mom gave me a giant chocolate bar for Christmas...Dan ate half of it already. His grandmother gave me a little snowman, I think its cute. Nesha and I renamed the benz because Maria is no longer part of our "crew." His name is Floyd. I was thinking maybe Roger since he is supposed to be awesome and my car is awesome...but that is too weird. Nesha and I have been really bored lately so we both get into yahoo and go chat. What do we do there you ask? Well we start fights with random stupid people. It can be very funny especially when you get most of the people in the room on your side and that one person is trying to fight everyone. You should try it sometime...or not thats cool. My brother bought the new Blink cd and I burned it just so that I could say I have another cd, I haven't listened to it yet. I don't know if I will either...probably will forget about it anyways. Spent most of my day at my grandparents waiting for my retarded brother-in-law, Stephen, so he could meet Dan. Grandma made tamales and Dan decided to be brave and eat the hottest ones, yes he is still alive. He said they weren't hot but I don't know I would've definately needed a glass of milk while eating them. I'm not changing the lyrics today since I don't think many people look at them anyways. Have a great tomorrow and forget about yesterday. The End.
blast! 12/23/03

So...I saw LOTR yesterday. I thought it was cool and I agree with Kyle about Aragorn. Near the end of the movie I could not stop laughing and only Dan knows why. We came out of that movie with a lot of inside jokes. Absolutely Hilarious. We also exchanged Christmas gifts today, I am very pleased with what I was given. Last year it was 3 days late, this year it is 3 day early. I thought it would be nice to start a discussion about something. How about music? Anything you feel like saying about music....ready, go!
looking at a thing in a bag 12/17/03

When I was talking to Brian today he told me about his most near death experience. It was pretty intense. So I started thinking about if I had any near death experiences, well I haven't found any so far. Its either that or I can't remember one. Want to share any of yours? Go for it. It feels like this year has gone by fast for me. Usually people who are busy say that but I wasn't that busy, I had quite a few non busy days. A lady at Popeye's gave me a free coke today I felt pretty special. It was nice that I didn't have to pay for it but then I thought about that economics saying that goes something like "THERE IS NO FREE LUNCH." That is probably the only time anything I learned from high school has ever come into play in my life. She will is going to have to pay for that somehow later. I could be a really nice person and go back to pay for it but I'm a little bit too lazy...maybe some other time.
disco light 12/13/03

The people who work at Chuck E. Cheese's never look happy. I understand, I don't think I would be either. Wasting tokens there is really addicting, I spent about 15 or more there. Bet you are wondering why I was there or maybe you don't even care, my little sister's birthday party was there today. I was the only real big kid there...I'm a loser.
Just half a school year left and I'm off into the real world. Well that is what all the high school teachers keep saying. I'm shooting for University of North Texas. I have no idea where I'm going to go if I don't make it there. It seems like my counselor is trying to make it his personal mission that I make it in. It would be nice to get a scholarship for running. It is probably impossible since I'm slow. Track starts after break I'm going to be that senior that will get smoked by underclassmen. Once again proving I'm a loser. Hope you enjoyed my little session of wasting your time, come again soon.
playing dress up 12/3/03

I think it is really interesting when people I know get mad at me. It can be hiliarious if they start yelling but if they throw in a curse word at me then that is where they go wrong. Only the ones closest to me know that I have a crazy temper that shouldn't be messed with. That might be a total of 4-6 people. Out of everything though, school has to be the thing that sucks the most right now. I've never had to do so many projects in one week and I only have three classes right now. I'm taking the SAT on saturday and I'm definately not looking forward to that. I think I'll go study for that now. Good day?...nope.
start your engines 12/1/03

Everything seems exciting in the beginning. I noticed that today. There are few things where excitement lasts for a while. Well I've found one thing so far. What have you found? I might as well keep this short and simple. I don't know what I'm going to do next.