Smalex first spots the mayo on the shelf."Aha!" she says.

She leans in to taste some mayo, and Dani offers some white cheddar rice cakes to go with it.

"Wait a minute!" cries Dani, outraged. "How do we know if this is REALLY mayonaise?"

Dani consults the label, which reads "REAL Mayonaise". "I see..." she responds, suddenly (and suspiciously) pleased. But wait, who is that lurking in the background?...

Out from behind the water heater, Rob attacks and heads straight for the mayo. "Are you wearing make-up?" Smalex tries to shout, but, she's too late...

Yes, he is wearing make up. And YES, he is going to beat you to death with a bottle of mayonaise.

And then, he goes in for the kill.

With Pete Wentz-like reflexes, Rob sucks Smalex's blood and leaves her for dead... with the mayonaise in her crotch.

Dani, who was clearly in on the Jumble, uh, I mean... Mayo Caper the whole time, traces Smalex's outline on the floor with chalk so they can sing Thursday lyrics.

Here is where Smalex died... the chalk outline is all we have left of her... and the mayonaise is suspiciously back where her crotch used to be...

"Alas! We now have all the real mayonaise we could ever ask for!" shouts Rob with glee. "You ARE wearing make up!" says Dani. The sexual tension is palpable.

With no way to suppress their urges, Rob and Dani take the mayonaise and go tobed together.

According to the myspace population, it's the sexiest thing in the world. Mostly because of those fucking fantastic shoes.

And, uh... this was actually my idea.