Now, if I remember correctly, this is a dot column (but not THE Dot Column - wherever that was lost to I don't know?) and it is randomly administered from my somewhat senile and chaotic mind to the likes of you folk.  That being, folks with nothing better to do than read dot and enjoy it because they have 1.) Nothing to do   and 2.) Empty and jobless minds.  Now I know you enjoy it because take a look at the title folks - Its Summer Time - its been a whole year, this being the 4th dotious Mafikili written and you are still coming back for more.  Be Careful!  This kind of a psychotic and habitual downward spiral of taking in dot material could and will result in Dirogo cancer which turns a brain to mush.  So, read with care, and remember that the only quick cure for infatuation with dot such as this is a short laugh and then a slanderous jab at the author of this piece silently under your breath.

    What have I got for you this time you ask?  huh?  right.  Well, of one thing you can be sure.  Its not cookies.  (And if there are no cookies involved you can be sure I didn't bring any milk!)  Speaking of milk, the topic brings ridiculous things to mind.  The stores are so full of different kinds of milk it boggles my mind.  See, at RVA we only had three kinds of milk.  (What?! you say?)  Yeah, 3 kinds of milk.  There was the extremely fresh milk that was 2 days old and partially gone.   Then there was the day old milk that was completely gone to somewhere south of the border.  Finally there was the third kind of milk which was generally anything older than 2 days old (generally 60% of the milk consumed in Cafo) and all other products created from this "milk" (such as we well know was used in choc. milk, hot choc. milk, and chai).  So the three choices were generally cut and dry - or rather sour and curdled if you would like.  But here is  a totally different story.  You got your skim, 1/2%, 1%, 2%, and then you also have your Vitamin D, and Your Chocolate, and both sizes (half gal. and 1 gallon) and then you got your strange milks like Soy, and Corn, and Peanut, and Chicken Liver.  (okay - maybe not that last kind).  But you see, its completely unnecessary.  In fact, shopping for milk got so out of hand that I completely cast it all aside and went back to my childhood days.  See, when growing up out in the bush we only hooked up powdered milk as I'm sure many of you did.  Familiar with the words ' KLIM ' or ' NIDO '   - oh yeah?  So, now I happily drink powdered milk to simplify life and enjoy what so many Americans have been so underprivileged as not to have had the experience of partaking in.

    Actually, what I wanted to  write about this time was not milk at all although since you got me started I thought I might as well tell you about life.  But really, Can you believe that a whole year has passed since High  School graduation?!  Seems like only last summer we were standing around in cap'n'gown taking pictures and smiling and crying and the like.  (wait - it was last summer.)  Yeah, so now that we have braved the freshman year of college and are moving up in the world and taking steps toward our future (we've been doing that all along I do believe) its time to bring some real knowledge and intelligence to our attention.  I have to say that I'm very proud of those who have made it this far - I'll be even more proud of you if you can look at you tuition debt and still smile.   But the idea is this.  I actually read as part of a class a book by Nicholson Baker called The Mezzanine.  An incredible book if I may put in my own opinion.  Its the most random and dot book of all intellectual dot I do believe.  That's why I believe I loved it so much.  Anyways, if you get the chance pick it up because its only 130 pages so no sweat there.   But the guy narrating it brings to light many random aspects of life than interact with us everyday!  (for instance he talks about broken shoelaces, paper towel dispensers in the bathroom, escalators, vending machines, and even Milk!  :)

    So, in light of this book by which I have become so inspired to dot - I will now proceed with some things that affected my life in the past few weeks months.  Where should I begin.  Oh, well, as many know I am a janitor.  Not just any janitor though - or 'custodian' as some more commonly call us, but a real live and partially working janitor.  I know this because all the janitors at the church where I work received uniforms.  Yep, all 5 people on duty wear blue polo shirts with a little insignia on left side.  An in addition we have to wear a plastic badge with a mug shot and our name above the words "Facilities Services".  Yeah whatever.  I'm a Janitor and good one at that!  What's all the uniform and badge for - Security so they say.  yeah - so that no one from outside will try to 1.)break into an empty church building and steal pews? 2.)Pose as one of us and not be recognized and steal cleaning supplies? 3.) Or try to get paid for work without going to an interview and getting a uniform?  Well, whatever the case may be - its ridiculous but I will continue to work and change the way people see Janitors at that church! (and there was much applause......)

    Have you ever been juked by a drinking fountain?  (water fountain if you must.)  Ha - don't lie - I know you have.  It happened to me the other day.  Even when you most expect something like that and are prepared for the worst  - bad things still happen to good people and you wonder if God doesn't just get a kick out of dot like it.  So, you know, when you try to get a drink you push on the button and your face is misalligned and you squirt yourself in up the nose or on your glasses or in your ear, or it hits your chin and dribbles down inside your shirt - Yeah, its happened to you.  Isn't it strange, like I even have used this fountain before, I carefully analyze the pressure required to start the water flowing slowly out of the spout and then slowly increase pressure until the arc is at a reasonable height and I can bend forward and let it fall into my mouth while I try to "slurp" it up in the most civilized and mature fashion possible.  But you know as well as I do that this never works.  You end up getting the perfect flow and when you lean forward your weight shifts on your feet and you accidentally jam the button down and the water spouts up all over your face - I got a shot right up my left nostril - a blatent shock to wake you out of the Monday work doldrums.

    Another issue of life.  I never encountered this in all my born days until now.  But I can guarantee that each of you will face this if you haven't already.  Its one of those cheap little  six letter words.  So short and quaint and yet if you mock it - it will bite you in the southside like a psychotic-outta-control venus fly-trap.  CREDIT.  Yeah, bog on me.  Basically, its something you 'need' for just about everything important but something you can't have without having something important.  So, you want to rent an apartment (just a random example that does not in any way shape or form reflect the exact experience of the writer of this article) and so you enquire if you can rent a certain place.  Even after you pass the income requirements - which I assure you are not just if make as much as it costs - then they do a 'Credit Check'.  Yeah, so you have no credit.  Oh really.  Yeah.  Like the lady asks for your Social Security number and you comply.  Then you wait a minute on the phone and she asks to verify the number.  So you do.  Great so far.  Then she says, "Excuse me sir, are you sure you gave me the right number?"  Am I am stupid - of course its right.  She says, "Let me verify one more time because this number shows now credit history?  That can't be right!"  Hahahhahaha.  It is - get over it - someone in the world can have no credit history.  So she's like - I'm sorry, can't process your application.  Bog.  So, where do you get credit you ask.  Good question.  Should be simple enough.  Its a magic little thing.  All you have to do is "get credit" to buy things and pay on leases.  GREAT!  Where do you get it?   You get it - not at the local party store and not in your church - you get it from buying things!  Okay, so what should I buy.  Well, it has to be big and it has to be on a credit card or by credit payment.  Okay. But wait, you can't get approved for those kind of buys without credit history.  RIGHT!  Do you begin to follow where this is returning to in a sharp circular fashion.  yeah, me too.

    So, another day older - another dollar, or deeper in debt - depends on who you listen to.  But like I said, keep it real.  Read DOT - understand and digest.   And then just spit it out, rub it into the dust with your shoe and laugh, and then mutter something slanderous to the writer to keep you sane.  

Have a great day and a great SUMMER!  This is the Mafikili of a local Dottist.  Reporting back at the end of summer.    Have a good one.

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Last modified: May 26, 2002