FEBRUARY

FEBRUARY

2.28.02

Here’s an actual transcription of my thoughts first thing in the morning:

Wake up. Radio. Head, hurting, tired, eyes, closed. Head. hurting. Look around. Where? Bed. Radio. Cher? Radio? Cher? Off. No more Cher. Head. Go to sleep again. Cher gone...sleep now? No. Wake. School. Draw. Sleep? Shut up brain. Wake up...wake head up. <crotch itchy> scratch crotch. Put on pants now? No. Sleep. NO! Put on pants! Ok. Awake.

Thanks for reading that.

I went to class, and we drew...pictures of...our keys. I have three keys on a Rubik’s Cube keychain. and I had to draw it, but draw the “negative space.” (that’s not like the “bad space”...that place that strangers aren’t supposed to touch) My keys don’t have any space, much less negative space, so I got done quickly, and the teacher wanted me to be a demo for the class...and all of the other students kept coming by and asking how I did it...and the left side of my brain kept saying, in a calm and rational voice... “is it just my half of the brain, or is everyone else in this class complete and total morons?” to which the right half replied: “shut up. you’re just jealous because drawing utilizes NOTHING on your half.” the left retorted: “you want a piece of me?” and the right snapped his finger “bring it on!” Then I clutched at my head and rolled around a bit. A sight to see.

Then, I went to emily’s to see the very end of Moulin Rouge again, and it’s still a good movie...but I wish I could have some time where emily and I just pay attention to each other...meh. I’m just bored...of life...and emily has always snapped me out of it. But she’s busy, and I need to get busy too...

I guess what got my mind off of that was coming into the store and selling fifty dollars of stuff...coming into the store not wanting a league, and having that one kid come and play magic with you instead of harry potter...and helping a lady pick out gifts for her little boy’s birthday party, and giving away free stuff, and laughing with joshua...that’s what having a fun job is about. I guess, on a really really stereotypical level...that’s what life is about. Helping, and having fun. DAMMIT...THIS LAST PARAGRAPH WAS CRAP. PLEASE MAKE A MENTAL NOTE TO ERASE IT IN YOUR MIND. THANK YOU – Kevin’s brain.

Then I came home...and...

1) Samantha’s ex boyfriend is a stalker. I’m scared for her. Please make this stop.

2) Ridley, my Texan friend, has a warrant out for his arrest. Man, he’s such a good ‘ol boy. Beat’s all you ever saw, been in trouble with the law, since the day he was born.

3) Jim talked to me, and it’s all right. I’m over it. Yes. Right now, I’m over it.

Please, let me get to emily...that’s what I want. To curl up with her and some thin mints. And a book. I love her.

What I’m listening to: sweet silence.

What I’m reading: My new EGM.

What I’m thinking: <I’m emailing the EGM guys for having stupid April Fools jokes. Cocks.>

2.27.02

I need to get to bed because I’ve been very very tired all day, so this update will be short, and will cover three points.

Point 1) Nerd Club has one song under their belt: “a moment in plaintive,” which, isn’t half bad. If it gets recorded, we’ll put it up here, so everyone can download it. It was awesome, a little writing session, and ryan quinn...is an amazing guitarist and musician. I feel pathetic when I sing my stupid words while he’s playing, like he’s sitting there wishing that I was someone else who could sing/write better...but it’s ok...because we’re Nerd Club, and that’s all that matters. I kind of wish emily was a little more enthused about her boyfriend starting a band, but I guess I wouldn’t be that excited myself if I were in her place. Oh well. We wrote a song.

Point 2) Why am I so scared of what Jim will say to me? Or if he reads this? Why am I scared of him?

Point 3) If you don’t watch Six Feet Under, do so. It’s so good. SO GOOD. I just feel bad because I’m a talker, and I end up talking through a lot of the show, and I hope emily’s family doesn’t hate me for it. I wish emily and I could have some time alone...to just be with each other again, I don’t feel like we get enough time like that, for some reason or another.

What I’m listening to: today I listened to days away.

What I’m reading: more One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

What I’m thinking: <then, things will all make sense. of course, then, then never comes, and you’re left thinking just when thing’s will come in focus. They will.>

2.26.02

I woke up...late. LATE. I always assumed that alarms were built to wake people up at a specific time, but alas, I guess assumed wrong. My alarm, is a bitch.

So, I did get to El Mo, and found emily, and my unweighted GPA for just sophomore and junior year is 3.83, which the bitchy office assistant pointed out is “unusually high.” I wanted to put something like my foot “unusually high” in her behind...she’s one of those bitchy “hates students” kind of people. Here’s a tip, lady. Listen well.

DON’T WORK AT A HIGH SCHOOL IF YOU HATE TEENAGERS.

I hate people like that...librarians at school libraries and office staff have this anti teenager stigma. I just hate them. They totally don’t care. Rant over.

Then, I went to school, and sat around while the teacher explained to the stupid kids what “negative space” meant, and how to draw it. Then she sat us in front of this directors chair and told us to draw everything that’s not the chair through a one inch by one point five inch square. I...I won’t go into it. I was too good at it, though...and she moved me over to the other side of the room for a fresh perspective on things...and...then she made me color the negative stuff in...and I just wanted to go home. But I had to go to work, and instead of playing harry potter with my one league member, I played magic.

Dammit, I need to write this now...Jim. This is where I write my apology. This is where I finally admit something that’s been inside of me for as long as high school has been around.

I am painfully jealous of you. Painfully. I guess living in your shadow has been hard. I once described you as my arch-nemesis, because you insulted me a lot, through middle school...but I mean...I realized it was childish...to hate you like I did. Then I stopped...and just lived as one of the people who scrutinized what you did. Goddamn it...I wanted to find faults in you. I sought out faults in you...because while everyone else praised you, while you just scooted through school perfectly, I worked my ass off and never saw you complaining...or you complained with laugher, and I was jealous. I wanted to make it look easy. But I couldn’t. I was too young for it to be as easy as you made it...and so I just hid it behind a veil...until I realized that you weren’t such a bad guy...and you weren’t. Aside from being a jerk sometimes, you were actually a pretty damn good guy. We are friends. You and I are friends. I’m a dickwad. I just...I just wished that I could do something better than you, something that mattered, and when I realized that I probably couldn’t, I tried to tear you down by just showering you with insults...I was your friend, but I was determined to find a way to beat you. I remember telling emily this: I will be happy with my life, when Jim Fingal sees something I’ve done and tells his future wife: “I knew kevin hainline in high school.” Because then, then I will have some peace...and then I can feel good about my own abilities without having to compare them to yours. I can’t know...but you’re at harvard, and you’re on the radio, and when you come back you’re the center of attention, and dammit, I’m jealous...and I’m sorry about yesterday’s post, but I guess I mean a lot of it...and there’s a lot of exaggeration. actually, I immediately felt bad when I heard you dedicated that song to me, but I had to say it. Like I have to write this. I am proud of you, Jim. I never told you, but of course, you NEVER told me you saw anything in me, never....and maybe I wanted to hear that. Dammit...cult of jim. Cult of anybody, that’s how most teenager’s lives are...the guy who’s second, or third, or even eighth place...almost there, but can’t quite get there. Everyone has their own personal you, Jim. I need to stop.

Back to my day. After work, I went to emily’s and we watched six feet under, a recording from last week...and I just really wish that people weren’t so bigoted...the episode had someone beating a gay guy and I couldn’t watch, because why do people do that? Why do people stand outside my school with pickets? Why, in the name of God? Damn, emotional evening. Sleep.

What I’m listening to: the anniversary.

What I’m reading: my mean comments to Jim.

What I’m thinking: <God, I am an asshole.>

2.25.02

So I’m reading my friend Chris’ journal, and I stumble upon this Jim appreciation page. (http://www.geocities.com/gammacles/Jim.html) I read it, and although I resist to urge to throw up, I start thinking. For those of you unfamiliar with Jim Fingal, Jim was our valedictorian, he currently attends Harvard, and well, apparently, he has this cult-like following...the Cult of Jim.

My thoughts first off...no. Jim Fingal, as smart as he may be, (and he’s probably reading this) is not a person I look up to, he’s not the perfect person, by far. He doesn’t know who he is...he doesn’t know much about himself, and he sure as hell isn’t the smartest person I know, by a long shot. Jim has faults, many many faults. I do too...and I’m not saying I don’t, but Jim is really not, and never will be, the perfect person.

I used to try to compete with Jim, but then I realized that he had the path blazed before him by his brother, and most of his real tough classes, he had help from others. I had to brave physics by my self, I had to go through most of my classes without any help from anyone, because I just didn’t want to turn to anyone. The Cult of Jim has some points. He IS currently at Harvard...but I hear he’s been drinking...which really is just pathetic, in my eyes. Maybe he hasn’t, but maybe he has, and if it’s true, then the respect I had for him has been halved. Argh. I’ve found, in myself, many many things that I have going that Jim will never have...and I won’t go into them. Let it suffice to say that I will never be a jim fan like some people, and that is that.

Now, to my day. First off, my mom knows about my online journal, and wants to read it. Well, I guess she can, but she’s not going to be happy, because it’s not interesting. (oh, and Jim just dedicated a song to me on Harvard radio.) I woke up, spent time with grandma, who watches soap operas and people’s court. My grandma is the bomb. Then, I went to school, got a Cal Grant GPA verification form, and went to work. Good day. Not bad, good. Joshua and Arthur and I played...Hi-Ho Cherry-o (so many sexual.. undertones...in title...), Hungry, Hungry Hippos (the game for the morbidly obese), and Don’t Break the Ice (mix the first and third games and you get “don’t break the cherry”, which is not a fun kids game). I won all three games...which makes me god of the kids games. Tomorrow we play Wheels on the Bus, Don’t Spill the Beans (another in the line of Don’t do this games), and hopefully, if I have my way, and we get some in stock, the elusive and mysterious “Mr. Mouth.” That’s all I need to say.

Then I came home, and started to write. Talked with emily for a while. I have to go back to school and pick up the thing I turned in today...and see emily.

What I’m listening to: Harvard Radio, which surprisingly, I don’t like listening to. Dif’rent musical tastes. And strokes.

What I’m reading: animal forest+ impressions. (HERE)

What I’m thinking: <screaming makes my head hurt.>

2.24.02

Good, then bad for a bit, then good. Here’s my day, in more than a nutshell. Well, a little bit more than a nutshell but much smaller than a breadbox.

Woke up, went online, and realized that the anger I have at the nintendork olympians is fueled by their CONSTANT BITCHING AND COMPLAINING. Jesus. Please, please, for god’s sake, stop...it’ll be over soon, though. thank god.

Then, I went to Target, and realized that they sell half of the games we do for ten to twenty dollars less. And then, all of those times people have commented “I could get this for cheaper at target” suddenly made perfect sense. This makes me slightly peeved. Yes. Peeved. Oh well. I also had a monster icee, and a...chili dog. The gods were pleased with me, and they hath given me a chili dog. And an icee.

Then, I went and got amazingly beaten in mage knight. I mean, not amazingly, as I didn’t either kill or get killed, but still, I was not good, and event though I ahem, royally sucked on the mage knight penis (man, this site is becoming gay porn quicker and quicker) I did get two amazing figures, which I will use in my next game to NOT suck so hard. Hopefully.

This all left me in a funk, I was in a terrible mood, but my friend Samantha, who you’ve heard about...

Samantha, I love you. Thank you.

That’s all that needs to be said. Emily and I talked, and she is wonderful/amazing/cute/beautiful I love her. Well, then, right now, I’m in my adult small t-shirt, and talking to friends, about things, and just happy again. Happy, again. My grandma is in the house, I like the way she smells, and we have a new bird, who is so in love with it’s own reflection. Name is tweety bird, in a very unoriginal spin that only small children can do...why can’t I have a bird named...Raskolnikov...or FLYING HELL DESTROYER? Dammit

So now, I sleep, dreaming of things that today has implanted into my head.

What I’m listening to: Kool 94.3, a good radio station..yes, it really is...

What I’m reading: emails about EGM, from retards.

What I’m thinking: <is it wicked not to care?>

Oh, and click pictures. You’ll be happy.

2.23.02

Today’s update will be short, because I’m very tired. Wait, shut up. Don’t get all excited, bitches, just because I’m having a short update.

Ok, first things first. I cleaned the bathrooms...I don’t like it, but somebody has got to do it. You see, if they don’t, furry monsters will attack from the depths of my plumbing, and I’ll have to venture into my pipes, into the mushroom kingdom...er...too much Super Mario World will do that to me.

Then, I got the Amelie book for Emily, and it is REALLY cool. REALLY REALLY cool, besides being written in the language of the devil. I went to work and made heap big money, again, which is good, and this time, Chief Poke-rapist tried to steal one of MY sales, and actually got away with stealing a sale of Arthurs...and this isn’t like regular indian giving, where you take it back...no, she took the sales and kept them. bastardess.

After that, I went to a party with emily’s friends, and felt out of place...and so we played frisbee with this little hispanic kid named mario who started ordering us around like he was stalin...and then we went back and I heard joke stories, totally pissed off nicole (please I’m sorry I’m a jackass), and we went back to emily’s house, totally made her sad (I’m even more sorry, I’m screwing up big time tonight)...and we’re fine now, but I’ll stop here for tonight. I love you all.

What I’m listening to: das getup kids.

What I’m reading: banners for nintendorks, those whiners.

What I’m thinking: <bitch, moan, complain, repeat.>

(oh, and ps, I’m going to update the look of this place, and add the infamous pictures page, tomorrow...?)

2.22.02

I awoke to pleasant bliss. Nothing, nothing to do today. I went online, finished up the nintendorks olympics event, and found, once again, that people are voting for me in droves to be the next nintendorks MB mod...well, I’m in like fifth. But still...I didn’t even campaign. Influential people throw my name around, saying that I’m..well, here’s a link: HERE

Then, I went and picked up emily, got paid...which is always good, and then took her out to eat at rubio’s...fish tacos...Oh, and I bought Super Mario World, which I got to play a total of ten minutes...argh.

I went home afterwards, and had a minor catastrophe, because I’m an incredible idiot, I sent the gift I had bought for a friend to an address one digit off, and they didn’t receive it...so I had to call a very very bored customer service representative (read: he probably doodled me with a noose around my neck while talking) to change the address and the name on the package. <sigh, mimes hitting head with overly large mallet, mimes looking at little stars around head, mimes having no life>

So, with that settled, I had to go to work. Good day. Not awesome, but not yesterday. Black Thursday. Everything bad happens on Thursdays.

We made some money, and the greatest guy came into the store. Last customer of the night, even. He comes in and he’s got a heavy New York accent. He’s also decked out with NY merchandise...and he buys like one thing, then turns and looks at the Rubik’s Cube we have sitting out for suckers. He says, “damn, nobody’d ever do that thing, it was impossible,” to his girlfriend, falling into my trap...

“I can do it in under five minutes.”

“Really?” He says, whirling around, eyes suddenly wide open.

“Yep. Mix it up.” I smile, a coy smile that I’ve perfected, a smile that means “try me, mofo, because I’ll take you down to china town.”

“ok...” He mixes up the cube. “I’m timing you. Go.”

Wham...I’m going, full speed, blaring. This is the second time in the evening that I’ve been put on this test, so I’m ready. My best time is two minutes flat, I tell them. Watch me do most of this with my eyes closed, I tell them. 2.5 minutes later, I slam that sucker down, done. The guy goes wild, and starts talking about taking me to New York and hustling drunk people...about glory, thousands of dollars, with his ten percent cut...and then he leaves, chuckling, and telling arthur to keep me as an employee. It’s always fun to impress people like that. Man...I AM stuck up.

Then, Ryan kicked my ass in many games. I suck. He doesn’t. Enough said. Nighty night. More emily tomorrow please.

What I’m listening to: the super mario bros. 3 theme.

What I’m reading: One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

What I’m thinking:

2.21.02

So, today was good. I’m on the upswing on this little emotional...ummm...anything but roller-coaster, because that’s too cliche. SO, I’ll say rutabaga. I’m on the upswing on the emotional rutabaga of life. Which hopefully, is good. I had to drive to westminster to get art supplies, and all the way I listened to ozma. I’m seeing them, you know, on pi day. 3.1415926535. I have that memorized, in case aliens abduct me, and insert anal probes unless I can name pi to ten digits. I’ll stop those alien bastards.

I screwed up, and forgot to get my ruler and masking tape, so I drove back home, picked up those items, and scooted back off to school, late for the second time in a week. I’m never late, and today, geesh.

Today, the teacher hardly talked. Which was good. I like it when she shuts her piehole (pihole...3.1415_____926535. get it?) and lets me get to the drawing portion of the class. We drew our hands again. But this time, we did it in a negative art sort of fashion. Graphite the entire page. Then, draw our hands onto clear plastic, then onto the graphite page, and then, erase all of the light, highlighted areas and leave the shadows as the graphite. Mine came out really well, I’m proud, but I still don’t have a scanner, so nobody gets to see. bwa ha ha. I should just delete pictures for now. But I won’t. I’m TOO L A Z Y! HAHAHAHHAHEHAHHDAHEHADHFAD!11!!!11

Then, work. We made a grand total of 250 dollars today.

two hundred and fifty dollars.

The worst day ever. EVER. But, it’s ok, because I had fun with joshua clowning around, played like a forty-five minute game of magic because I showed him mercy, and then I saw as these two bratty girls who come into the store and treat it like a goddamn toy store...they lost their little brother and started panicking and ran all over the place, and their whorish grandmother was crying...and I’m going to hell.

Well, then I saw emily for the first time all day, and she messed up my hair, and she loves me.

I’m going to bed. Tomorrow is a do-nothing day. In fact, I’m going to change over to angelfire from geocities, because they cut off how much I can upload, like bitches.

What I’m listening to: ozma. again.

What I’m reading: nintendo stuffola. mario sunshine and zelda make me moist.

What I’m thinking: <stupid stupid stupid geocities.>

2.20.02

I woke up today to the sound of me, doing nothing. I had a boring, yet blissful morning. Watched Four Weddings and a Funeral, which was good, but I think that Hugh Grant has made his living as a stuttering idiot. The entire movie was presented in stammer-o-vision, with Flopsy just walking all over himself...if anyone can understand that guy, send me transcripts.

Then, I decided that it would be cool to go online for some more. And eat. So I did both. I did go on with the nintendorks olympics, sending out one INCREDIBLY hard test for the teams to complete, all on nintendo trivia. Ridley and I made it, and it’s a mother. I hope they NEVER get it. bwa ha ha.

After lunch, I drove emily around, then went home and did pretty much nothing for a bit, then drove emily some more. I kind of pissed her off, but it’s ok now...then I went to Ryan’s and we played Magic, and I WON. I actually beat him once. His deck versus mine. Then he came back and beat me...argh. I then got trounced by him. We went to Del Taco, had some laughs, came back, and starting writing our bands first song, epiphany. It’s ok, I need to work on the lyrics a lot, but it’ll be good, hopefully. Our band will fly.

I then went to emily’s, helped her with homework, and left feeling like a heel because I have practically no worries at all, and am lazy, and she’s working her ass off...argh. I wish I had stuff to do besides my drawing class, which uses up like 1-2% of my raw mental energy. I wish I could go to school right now so I can have stuff to do. On tomorrows agenda, buy art supplies, draw plants.

What I’m listening to: In my head, epiphany, by Nerd Club...

What I’m reading: Magic cards...must...beat...ryan...but...cannot.

What I’m thinking: <Ridley hit someone in his pizza delivery truck. That’s great. He HIT a DRUNK GUY. Excellent.>

2.19.02

Today was not a bad day by any means. Although I think I might have royally fudged up my friendship with samantha, everything else went well...I drew my foot, with and without looking at the drawing, realizing how much of a waste of time they both were. Look! I have things at the ends of my legs! yeehaa! Then, I ate breakfast (my breakfast sandwich. Scrambled eggs, soft, american cheese slice, on an untoasted bagel), coasted around on the internet, and went to school.

My teacher, is certifiably, a dumbshit. Here’s what she does, as we draw these inane drawings. She’ll walk around, and murmer such intelligent quips as “I like the bottom,” “you need to work on your lines,” and “please have pity on my pathetic excuse for a life.” We had to draw...<shakes head>..paper bags today. Crumpled up, paper, lunch sacks. I had to spend an hour drawing a brown bag. I drew it in like twenty minutes, and she left the room, so I read david sedaris, and then looked like I was drawing some more when she came back. Then, she praised it, for its “edges.” Thank you SO MUCH, kind lady. Then, in probably the biggest waste of paper since the book adaptation of “Rollerball,” we had to draw ten drawings of other people’s paper bags...but get this, we ONLY HAD 30 SECONDS TO DO THEM! How coy, teacher-lady! How inspired! I now have ten pages of huge, scribbly, paper bag drawings, and an anger...an anger quite unlike any other.

Then, work. I made 60 something bucks tonight. Slow night. I’m just glad I had four people at my league...that’s always good. I got to have some real play going on, and I made joshua laugh until he almost had a heart attack. We were just playing Balderdash, and he asked me to make up a movie synopsis for a title: That Was Then...This is Now. It doesn’t matter what I said...here’s the actual plot, from the card. A story of friendship, broken apart when one of the friends gets older, but...THE OTHER ONE STAYS A TEENAGER! So amazingly wry, a tour de force for the writer, 100 monkeys locked with 100 typewriters. I started insulting the plot, joshua started drinking, and had to spit his water into the trash can...and then almost passed out. fun times were had by all.

I then went over to emily’s house, and gave her a back massage. I also managed to make her kind of mad at me...but, that’s life.

What I’m listening to: nothing...except maybe, the sound of sweet gamefaqs success?

What I’m reading: I got a letter saying I was in the running for the biggest scholarships berkeley has to offer...which means, A) I got accepted, and B) I’m up for money...to a school I’m not attending. Excited? I don’t...know?

What I’m thinking: <I’m hungry...I had rubio’s for dinner, and it was great, as usual, but I’m still hungry for some...nachos...or other chip based food item.>

2.18.02

San Juan Capistrano. We went, we ate, we had fun. If you get bored reading about emily, then skip down a few paragraphs, because most of my day had her, so tough sheisse.

Now that the stupid people skipped down a few paragraphs, let’s get better acquainted, shall we? Emily and I took the train, we went to the mission, and we ate, and walked around, bought postcards (“Greetings from Des Moines!”) from other states, and rooted through a metric assload of antiques. I found this coat that looked so cute on emily, and it was $45 but I have no money. I also realized at how trusting people are. I have a large measure of initiative. I’ll go and do something, and say “screw them,” and completely bypass a large group of people, doing the norm. Today, Ruby’s had a line going out the door, so I waltzed in, gave my name, and then stood outside. People started telling emily and I to “go to the back of the line,” but they weren’t employees...so I didn’t. More and more people just got in the line, which I realized was basically a line going nowhere. NOBODY was going to get seated...they didn’t put their name down on the list. People are sheep...it was fun, when emily and I got to go in, and people started wising up to how incredibly STUPID they are.

We got home, and I went to work. Magic the Gathering up the wazoo...I’ve never seen so much acne before in a room...and well, I think it’s a delicate balance...the less fashion sense you have, you make up for it in pure, unadulterated ACNE. This one kid kept asking me to play, and I didn’t have my deck, and he was wearing sandals with socks...and sweat pants...and I’m crying right now...it was THAT bad. I just wandered around, made money, and got a kick out of this couple debating over a strategy game...HE wanted Axis and Allies, she wanted just to win the game. They argued...they called me over, they argued some more, and then they decided on A+A...good choice. I’m just surprised I knew so much about a game I’ve never played, much less opened the box...lying. It’s what’s for dinner.

Then, I went over and helped emily with some sound and the fury understanding, which reminds me...I need to get her the cliff’s notes, because you only use them for the first chapter, then you throw them away...because the rest of the notes are crap-ola. Then I came home, read a crapload of emails, and realized that no matter how many times I’ll sit there and listen and comment on everyone else’s problems, just when you need someone to listen, nobody really wants to listen or care, or put in any effort. Such is my burden. I want sleep...I want sleep. emily...that’s what I want. emily.

What I’m listening to: winamp generated playlist...a GREAT song.

What I’m reading: NDORKS MESSAGE BOARD

I wrote this, it’s a true story. ouchies.

What I’m thinking: <no offense, but if I ever turn into Jim Fingal, fucking shoot me>

2-17-02

I think I’ll update earlier rather than later. I’m bored, because emily wasn’t home and I waited for her but she wasn’t there...and now I’m home and angry at life. Tomorrow, we’re going to go to San Juan Capistrano, which is going to be fun, but I’m worried that she won’t have a good time. bah. It doesn’t matter. We’ll go, and make the most of it.

Today, church. We weren’t supposed to sing, but I sang with the adult choir even though, and that was fun. I got home and basically watched TV all day...I mean, it was good TV, but today wasn’t the most amazing fun filled day ever. So, I’ll keep this update short too...I’m home, I’m bored, and my stomach is a mixture of spaghetti, ice cream, and chili dogs...and you just want to be very glad you are no where near me right now...

Well, that’s it. I’m sorry, but I had an incredibly boring weekend.

What I’m listening to: Choir music...any and all choir music...running through my head.

What I’m reading: Nothing...I think I’ll sleep.

What I’m thinking:

2-16-02

I’m going to keep this short. Two paragraphs.

One.

I saw Magnolia tonight, which was a great movie. I saw it with Emily, and we had a good time, although my parents thought we were making out in the dark. It was too good of a movie to make out through. That’s reserved for things like “Crossroads,” that great new movie starring America’s favorite teen sensation, Britney Spears! Well, afterwards, emily and I are close again...which is good.

Two.

Ryan Quinn left a message saying he laughed so hard reading this that he soiled himself and wanted me to come over to his dorm and give him a blow jo-...er....dry...a blow dry. Well, I was laughing too.

What I’m listening to: Jimmy Eat World. Clarity.

What I’m reading: Valentine’s Candy

What I’m thinking: <You know what I haven’t mentioned yet? I am a presbyterian. I’m a Christian. YES.>

2-15-02

Today was a mixed bag. On one hand, it blew, but on another, it was pretty good. So, I declare it null and void until further examination can be taken.

First things first. I had to take my brother to his church to go snowboarding this weekend, and he almost forgot all of his toiletries, which would have made him the smelly, gross one on the mountain. I swooped in and saved him using my incredible secret powers of “taking toiletries” and “looking around my car for toiletry bags!” I was so pleased with myself.

Emily and I didn’t see Amelie as promised, because I’m a lazy penny pinching anus wipe. We went to Disneyland instead, and didn’t have the greatest of all times. But that’s ok, because we were fine by the time we left. I had to get to work.

The first thing that I heard when I got to work was “You’re wrong.” It came from this fat, long-greasy haired Magic player, Manny, from the Wizards at the Block. You see, when you get really really ugly, you start wasting your money on Magic cards, and then...you slip into this ether realm called “HAVING NO FUCKING LIFE” and you start to quote vague magic rules, and giggle like a child molester every time your deck works, and then, gibberish pours out of your mouth, like this.

“so, I totally fucking countered his ass, then, he comes at me with Transcendence, and I’m like, shit, disenchant, and my goblin army just popped up, because I didn’t really need that mana anyways, but because of worship, I couldn’t die!”

If you could see me right now, I am weeping at the memory. He had little zombies, little plastic zombies, to represent his zombie token creatures. I like Magic. I play magic. I am not, however, a large fat sweaty magic player. I am a skinny, on and off Magic Player, with a girlfriend. People like him need to realize that Friday nights, magical Friday nights, might be of better use IF YOU WEREN’T PLAYING MAGIC WITH TEN YEAR OLDS.

Afterwards, I went to emily’s and massaged her back. She liked that. I’m kind of intentionally skipping all of the really bad parts of today because they really really sucked. SO, I’m going to write it, but take out all of the spaces and make it into one big ol long word!

ididntgetmynovascholarshipandiscrewedupandforgotlastnightthatineededto

cleanthestorebetterbecausejeffwascomingintothestoreandsincehesmybossboss

hegaveabadstorereportbutnotreallybecauseiscrewedupthatwasonlypartofitand

emilyandihadafightandweloveeachotherstillandimhavingabadweekinthestoreand

iatemyselfintoareesesinducedcomabutistilleatthem.

Well, that’s it for tonight. A short update, but tough shnikeys.

What I’m listening to: The sound of cars outside my house.

What I’m reading: Well, I hope not that paragraph of bad stuff that happened today. Don’t try to read it. Just let it pass.

What I’m thinking: <Nicole isn’t a bad person, everyone. I’m sorry that I totally insulted her, because I love nicole, and we’re good buds. She just, sometimes, deserves the scorn...grrrr.>

2-14-02

Aaaaah. Valentine’s Day. Nothing like good ol’ Valentine’s Day to cheer you up. I wasn’t doing too well this morning. I mean, I didn’t even want to wake up. But I did, and I drew a really really cool looking bell pepper, without looking at the paper, and man, that got me jazzed, so I went and changed the site a bit. No, the pictures link does not work, because there isn’t a pictures site yet. I need to wait a bit before I upload more pictures, as geocities is getting all in my face about it. Well, they can just go fu [CONTENT REMOVED BY GEOCITIES.COM, THE GREATEST ONLINE WEB HOSTING SERVICE EVER...WHERE FAMILY VALUES TRUMP ALL INDIVIDUALITY]

Well, I went off to class, and had to drop both of the classes I signed up for and resign up for the two-days a week course, and I get a refund of <gasp> five DOLLARS! I can buy a meal at McDonalds...wait...<ponders thought of Big Mac, fries, and large coke...starts to drool> So I get to class, and we have to draw these pictures like when we were little. When I was a kid, I drew pictures of like INTENSE war scenes. Lots of little tanks, airplanes, castles, underground tunneling screw cars, guns, just chaos. It was fun, and it got out my aggressions in a real easy, nonviolent manner. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t harboring pent up aggressions, wild thoughts about eating the brains of my enemies, chopping up people and drinking...their...<drools again> Anyways, I draw it, and the teacher loves it. She stands there for like five minutes, commenting on how detailed it is, and I’m thinking: man. She’s an idiot. I wish I had such a cushy job. All I have to do is tell kids to draw things, like vegetables, or cows, or shit like that, and then comment on how either it’s:

A) amazingly realistic. GREAT JOB!

B) vague, simplistic, yet very deep. GREAT JOB!

C) Nice to see you’re improving. GREAT JOB!

D) my life is a goddamn mess. GREAT JOB!!!!

So, I got through it, and in the process, made my converse shoe into a genuine objet d’art. Really, it was a good drawing, and had the girl next to me jealous that my shoes had “character”, and her shoes had “whore.”

At work, the one man Harry Potter League returned, and I BEAT HIM. I won a game, no wait, three games. New deck ahoy! I realized what I was doing wrong, and that involved playing with a crappy deck, and remedied that problem. Then I won. We beat projection by 100%. $1,280 over a $600+ projection = yummy night. I made like 300 dollars myself, which is also muy bueno, and for the first time, Arthur almost cried. It seems that Chief Married-in-Vegas-Parking-Lot stole a big sale, and he was really taken aback. That’s sad stuff, seeing Arthur cry. I felt bad, so I consoled him.

Then, I FINALLY got to see emily for the night, and presented her with bracelets. I had to shine them, and they were all shiny, and I think she liked them. Well, she wore them, which is a step up for me. We had a good night, and we’re going to see Amelie again, which we’ve seen many many many times, but it’s that good. Go see it if you can. Please. For us. Tonight, we watched TV and kissed, well, by TV I mean that crappy women’s stage show...what’s it called? Chatting about Cunt? The Pussy Parables? OH! The Vagina Monologues. Crap. BAD, crap. Here’s a quick transcript:

“I LIKE MY VAGINA. IT IS AN ANGRY CREATURE! I LIKE KISSING GIRLS.”

Really. I need sleep. Nighty night.

What I’m listening to: Contraband

What I’m reading: They say “Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups” and they’re filled with love. yay for candy.

What I’m thinking: <BLARGH MY VAGINA OPENS UP AND EATS SMALL CHILDREN FOR LUNCH. YUM. OH, MEN ARE EVIL AND RAPE ME>

2-13-02

It’s day’s like this where I think I’m bipolar. I come home, I’m ok, and I realize that today SUCKED. Horribly. Right now, I’m on the low swing. Maybe, I shouldn’t listen to this new Emo compilation CD Ryan made me. Well, let’s get on with the rundown, shall we?

Morning. No food, pills, online, trying to get the online games event in the olympics was not working. People were pissed at my lack of organization, but I hold strong. I eventually got them working, with people interested.

Emily called, and wasn’t having a good day at school for personal illness problems. I took her home and had the high point of my day.

I think that when your girlfriend falls asleep on your shoulder, that’s when you realize that you aren’t a bad person. Because people trust you enough to fall asleep with you.

I went home, secure that she’d be ok. I had to get ready for work, and what I did do was buy a birthday present for a friend and a book for Emily and I have like 30 dollars to get me through next week. DAMMIT. Money is stupid. I waste it so badly. I buy and buy and buy. But it’s ok. I’d rather do that then sit on it. Emily will love the book, it’s imported from France, and the friend has been a good enough friend to deserve the game. Then I went out with Ryan Quinn and let him walk all over me in Magic. My deck sucks in comparison to anything he has. I cannot win. We ended up looking like this strange nerdy gay religious couple. He had to by a Bible for his religions class, and I bought massage oil for Emily from Bath and Body works, and here we are, these skinny esthetes in the middle of the mall.

I worked, well, I was late to work, and I had a four person Magi Nation tourney. Man, that game is long and boring. The people playing were all right, but I made like no money for the store. I suck. Joshua did great, I did horribly. I was having gas all night too, to make matters worse. Dammit. Well, I went and saw another episode of Six Feet Under, which was good, with Emily...but I guess I don’t get a simple fact. Emily doesn’t really care what I get her for any holiday, as long as I can be there with her. She values my presence over whatever I could get her. I mean, while I’m hoping she likes what I get her, I know that she’s glad that I’m there...and I’m glad that she’s there...<wow, welcome to stuck up city, population: me>.

Well, I came home from her house, and I find insults for my olympics, and I’m farting up a storm.

But, in the second best moment of my day, my brother bought me a Three Musketeers bar. It’s the little things, folks.

What I’m listening to: Generic Emo

What I’m reading: Barrel Fever, by David Sedaris. Yes, another one. But this one has Mike Tyson gay!

What I’m thinking: <It’s Ash Wednesday, and for Lent, I’m giving up being stupid.>

2-12-02

Better day. Not amazing, but better. Well, I woke up on time for one thing. I have to set up two alarm clocks so at least one will work. The other one is this Target World Alarm Clock which wakes me up with what I THINK is the Russian National Anthem. I’m not positive.

I couldn’t get into the photo class. I got a parking space, and I took notes, and I was an attentive little bright eyed photo student, but there’s no room in the class. Damn it. So I went home, made myself some ravioli (I eat it a lot...yum yum yum) and finished my self portrait. I drew myself...and it came out looking like Lance from N’Sync. You have to see it. If I could post it, I would. But, I got to school and took my second drawring course. We had to do blind countour drawings of our hands. BLIND. I had to just look at my hand, and draw it. No looking at the picture. Now, I have like two pages covered in scribble writing...they don’t even look like hands. They look like...I was trying to correct the ink stoppage in my pencil! Then, we had to do the same thing with a branch from a bush, and once again, it looks like a fractal drawing at it’s highest iteration...insanely complicated and done by a five year old. But, the teacher knows my name, which is good, and I’ve moved into the Tuesday-Thursday class, good again.

After class, I went to work, had another rousing one kid Harry Potter league day, but I ended it early and worked. I, personally, did poorly, but we beat projection by like 400 dollars. Ama-freaking-zing. We were 19 dollars under, which was probably Chief Can’t Count’s fault, but that’s ok, because I had a nice night at work. I’m going to get some more Magic Cards soon, I sold a promo game, and everything was hunky-dory.

Emily made me more proud of her than I ever have been. I am so glad that she’s my girlfriend...because some things that I never considered important matter more than I have ever understood. She didn’t do too well at OCAD, and she was sad for a few reasons, one being that she wanted me to be proud of her...Emily...I’m so proud of her just because of who she is, and who she is going to be, and some of the best people I know haven’t done well in things like that...they don’t matter...if she did do well, I would be proud, but I love her for basically being my other half, and loving me as much as she does. Nobody else would...and it turns out that she’s perfect. Nicole is having a heart attack right now...screw her. Emily, I love you.

I get home, and I’m suddenly called on to help my friends out. I haven’t done that in a while, and I think I fucked it up...but I tried. I like trying...and hopefully, it’ll make a difference. I really am good friends with both parties, and now, I’m realizing why friends are friends, and not acquaintances.

After finishing event number two for the nintedork olympics, here’s a picture of me for all of my readers who haven’t seen me before:

http://www.geocities.com/rubixsqube/rubixsqube.txt

yes, it’s a text file, but yes, it’s a picture. click, enjoy.

Anyways, errands to run. Emily is getting stuff for Valentine’s day, and Oni Locke has his birthday tomorrow...and Ryan Quinn and I are going to go do something...and Magi Nation Tourneys...and Ash Wednesday. I need some ravioli.

What I’m listening to: Nothing. I haven’t listened to music in a while...

What I’m reading: yesterdaystar is talking about her life. So I listen. At least she’s talking to me...she once plainly asked to never talk to me again in her life. She used to hate me...now we’re really really good friends.

What I’m thinking:

2-11-02

Well, I have to make this update short, as I’m really tired, and I have a buttload of things I need to get finished. I’m so tired right now...

Ok, first off, my alarm decided to be super cool and NOT GO OFF this morning, and I woke up like an hour late. Damn you alarm! DAMN YOU TO HELL! After getting many many things done for the olympics, I went to an art supply store and bought my drawing class stuff. I need to extend that class to the Tuesday-Thursday one. It was in westminster, and my brother was being a dork the entire time. He’s a major dork. We ate at Carl’s Junior, and I can wolf down an ENTIRE famous star meal in five minutes. It’s possible, I did it and so can you. <points finger>

Well, after that, I went and picked up my girlfriend, and took her to Mission Viejo. She was wearing a skirt...and she looked wonderful. She has really pretty legs...she’s beautiful. I need to put up pictures. Anyways, we drove for a half hour, wandered in, and I picked up 5 of the thumb-sized LCRs, then came out, and drove back. It was nice. We listened to oldies. I love her.

Work was ok. I did ok, I sold promos, made money, made nerdy magic friends, you know the story. If you ever meet a nerd, just talk to them. That’s all they want from people, to be talked to, and treated nicely. Don’t pretend to show interest in something they do, or you’ll never get away, and you’ll make yourself look like an idiot, so respect that. I must’ve talked with a Magic player for an hour...er...he must’ve talked at me for an hour. Nice guy, but I don’t really need a constant update on your life total, bud.

Then, I went over to emily’s and we watched the Canadian’s get second place in the figure skating. Stupid ruskies, the Canadians deserved to win. You’re just stupid, and communist. Yeah. That’s what I have to say about THAT. I hope I’m not inciting an intercontinental war...uh-oh. Well, I got home, and had to finish up today’s event. Which is done. I have to retry to get into that damn photo class, get a book, and have my second drawing class tomorrow. Fun shiesse. I’m so tired.

What I’m listening to: I have the song “Sweet Talkin’ Guy” stuck in my head.

What I’m reading: Nintendork Olympics

What I’m thinking: <Why CAN’T I talk about emily? She’s my life. Meh. In good news, samantha is better. good. good good good. Oh, and emily got third place in duet acting at california STATE thespian festival. She’s amazing, and I’m so proud of her.>

2-10-02

Church this morning. We sang a beautiful piece, and although it was truncated due to the lack of people participating, but anyways, it was pretty. Other than that, although I almost fell asleep like ten times, it was a wonderful service.

I came home and worked on this monster I’ve created under the guise of the Nintendork Olympics. Lots of disorganization, and I’m the guy who’s got to dig it out of a shithole. I can do it, and I will. Right as I type this I’m corresponding with my Texas friend and writing scripts and games...shit.

Moving on, Emily came back today. If I talk about it, Nicole will get all pissy at me, as she thinks I talk too much about Emily. You know why Nicole? Because I love her. There, that’s it. Let it suffice to say that I was more happy to see her than happy about anything all weekend. Done and done. Happy, NICOLE?

Speaking of Nicole (http://www.standardeviation.8m.com/index.html), she decided to debase all of my beliefs in the value of my chosen career. “What’s the point of astrophysics? It’s not worth anything...” When she started to go off, I suddenly had this brilliant idea...that involved taking my hands and putting them around her neck, and then squeezing...yes...squeezing. I’m morbid...but oh well. I wouldn’t do it. She’s a really good friend of mine, and I guess she had a valid point, but she really has no base for it, seeing as she probably doesn’t know near as much about the science to make assumptions. ARGH. Well, I defended my honor, and saved astrophysics for the rest of the world. Kevinland is protected once again.

After church once again, Emily and I went and saw Gosford Park. I really liked it, but that’s because my mom gave me the gene for liking those period movies, and this one was hilarious, mysterious, and interesting all at the same time. A good movie to see if you want something that’ll confuse the hell out of you.

Tomorrow, I have a buttload of things to do. I have to get financial aid stuff done, drive to an art supply store, and oh, DRIVE TO MISSION VIEJO...jesus. I have to drive all the way their to...get this...pick up four copies of LCR, a game that’s packaged in a tube that’s four inches long and has a dime sized diameter. argh.

In other sad news, Samantha isn’t too happy. She’s my Davis friend, with a Web Journal here: https://www.angelfire.com/sk/wings/tomorrow.html She’s not in the highest of times. She misses people like me and Ryan Quinn and others...and I don’t blame her. I miss her...but I’m so glad she’s not cutting...thanks if you’re reading. I love you samantha. I do. I know lots of people who do. We all miss you.

Well, another day done, and I’m tired. I’m happy because I have emily...but I made nicole mad at me, and samantha’s not happy, and I have to do so many things...I just wish I could stop time, you know?

What I’m listening to: No time for music. If I were to listen to music, it would have to be something soft.

What I’m reading: Maps to Mission Viejo.

What I’m thinking: <Why do I have to open my mouth so much. Most of what I say is garbage...I make people so angry at me. I think if I learn one thing in life, it’s going to have to be to shut the fuck up.>

((oh, and thanks VanRoosta for pointing out that the year is in fact 2002))

2-09-02

Well, after waking up at like 9:30 and finishing Naked (that David Sedaris book) I got around to eating a bowl of Frosted Flakes for breakfast with my pussy lactose free milk. I’m lactose intolerant, so tough shit for lactose. Then I cleaned my room...because my mom is so pissed that it looks kinda messy...KINDA MESSY. damn it. I hate cleaning my room. But a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.

After a while, I went to work, and Chief Bloody Tooth was hosting the pokemon league, with her trademark “I LOVE MY JOB” look on her face. Oh, and by “LOVE” she means “HATE WITH A PASSION.” A kid named Rene had won a tournament and was ecstatic...now, if it were me, I’d cry, and slowly rock myself to a dark and dreamless hell. The last time we had a tournament, a guy my age won...a Pokemon tournament. You see, there’s this thing, son, called a life. I would suggest getting one before you realize that the boys aren’t kicking you in the balls because they think you’re cool.

After a great night of work (I’m a sales machine) I came home and went out to Nickel Nickel, the single greatest reason that arcades are still alive. For $2.50, you can have access to as many nickel arcade games as you want...DDR (which I suck and embarrass myself at...so playing it is kind of like this whole self-degradation thing)...Time Crisis, Lost World, every goddamn fighting game ever, Hydro Thunder...Skeeball...it was great. Lots of friends were there, and the whole night was perfect because it had lots of Ryan Quinn and Chris Francis. With Ryan Quinn to joke and Chris Francis to laugh up a storm, we were heroes of the Del Taco drive-in. We joked about Ryan Young’s pathetically small wang, about urinating on cars, and Head of Duck, and a whole bunch of things that will one day become inside jokes. I beat The Simpsons Arcade game, one of the greatest side-scrolling fighters of it’s day. I also beat the lightgun Lost World game, for the fiftieth time. I also snuck in some pinball, and one of the greatest fighting game OF ALL TIME: Time Killers.

The premise of Time Killers is simple. You play characters ripped from thousands of years of Earth’s history, and battle on levels taken from other, different time periods. The characters range from Mantexx, the future preying mantis guy, to Rancid, the Chainsaw wielding nightmare from apparently the 80s, to Wulf, the slow-ass knight. The game is free, so anyone can play, and the left joystick kind of doesn’t let you move forward, but still, Ryan Quinn as Rancid (he can’t really pick anyone else) can kick your ass against any, fully mobile character. Bar none, he is the greatest time killer ever.

Well, we got home like a half-hour ago, after eating Del Taco (much better than that god-awful Taco Bell) I came upstairs and had one blinking message on my answering machine.

Emily.

If you could see my face right now, it’s in this kind of smirky in-love smile...dear god I love her. Well, that’s enough for tonight. I see emily tomorrow, and my life returns to normal. I drew a picture of her for class today, and I had to draw it from memory, that was my assignment...and there she is on the paper. I did a good job...I drew her in her coronation dress, the black one...she was so pretty that night...I’m pathetic...argh. come back emily.

What I’m listening to: The Anniversary. This is a kind of...emo band...I donno. They’re good.

What I’m reading: Well, I’m listening to the phone message and revelling in how amazingly pathetic I am.

What I’m thinking: <emmy>

2-08-02

Day one without emily...damn, I miss her. I was thinking that through work tonight...I miss emily...I miss emily. I’m pathetic. I had thought I was going to spend the day idly laying around and doing little to nothing, but nooooo, Dawn, the resident indian cheftain in the store had to have a toothache. Apparently, her “mouth exploded” which is a really great mental image. Imagine if Chief Wind Coyote’s mouth just went kaboom, blood everywhere, and that’s what’s going on in my mind. I’m not a Dawn fan.

So, I worked an eight hour shift. I ended up making like 760 dollars, but I also got to whoop on some Magic players. My deck is undefeated, and I REALLY need to be beaten. The kids weren’t too good anyways, they just had good cards. And, according to one of them, the kid cheated too, and STILL LOST! BAAAAADLY! I had like 33 life, he had none. BWAHAHA!

But other than that, and making some phenomenal sales, it was a slow and boring day. Oh. There are these two abusive kids who come into the store everyday, and I think that their parents treat us as a free babysitter. We’re a game store...they like to horse around inside the store and hit each other and move everything. I hate them. Little bratty girls. But they came in tonight with their little brother, and hit him, and actually bought like 50 dollars worth of stuff. No shit. They came in and picked it all out, and their grand-mom, this real bimbo of a grand-mom, who couldn’t be over 50, came in and bought their toys. 50 dollars worth of crap. Life, is strange. Well, uneventful, boring day. I want emily to come back...pleeeease come back...

What I’m listening to: Nothing...because I’m still burnt out on KOOL radio...the only station that comes in at my store. kill me. please.

What I’m reading: Discover Magazine

What I’m thinking: <You need to understand, you don’t cheat to lose. You cheat so that YOU CAN STILL WIN. Cheating does you no good when you lose! It makes you look pathetic and desperate. Give me a break.>

1-31-02 <-> 2-07-02

2-07-02

Well, today got better. Not by a huge amount, I still have one gripe, but that’s ok. Considering how today was compared with, say, yesterday, the words “leaps and bounds” comes to mind.

Well, after waking up early, which I like, because it makes me feel less lazy, I had an orthodontist appointment. I like that, because I can sit and listen to cheesy pop songs and read and let people look in my mouth. Just as long as they’re not poking around, they can look all they want. AND, they steam cleaned my retainer. Whoohoo! And, I got to read more David Sedaris. Read Me Talk Pretty One Day. It’s THAT good. But, once that was over, I came back home and surfed the internet, talking about my latest hair-brained scheme...I’m going to host a Nintendorks Olympics. I subscribe to this geeky, awesome Nintendo site, Nintendorks, and their message board is teeming with cool people, so I’m going to pit them against each other in cockfights...er...in events that will see who is the best Nintendork of them all...well, what team is the best. It’s me, a good guy from Texas who I call Ridley, and a great friend from California who I call Oni Locke, even though his first name is known to me. It’ll be either fun, or horrible. I’m banking on the former.

I was supposed to have this astronomy lab class, but apparently, the fat man teaching the class didn’t have enough charisma to drum up the required 20 people for the class, and so I had to sit and listen to him backpedal about how we should take this class or this class instead...and I left because it was canceled for the semester. Now I’ve gotta see about getting into the photography class. Damn it to hell.

So I went home, coasted on the internet, and then went to pick up emily. She was late, but you know what? I didn’t care. I don’t care. I’m just...I was just angry because she’s going away for the weekend and I can’t see her and I’m going to miss her insanely...well, I just hope she has a fun time at thespian conference, and I hope that this weekend away might be what I need to get back into the swing of things. Maybe the desire to see her again will be enough to get me out of this funk. I hope so.

Work was fun...I had ONE Harry Potter leaguer. ONE. Damn it to hell. I can’t even beat him because he’s “bought cards” and I’m not going to “waste my money” on them. So he’ll whoop my ass, and the competitive side of me will get all pissed, and one day, I’ll wake up and sleep walk and murder everyone he’s ever loved in his sleep and...whoa...I probably shouldn’t have written that. Now, because of this site, people are going to find it on google or yahoo under “murder” and “cunt” and “gay sex.” I’m a gay snuff site apparently.

But I had fun anyways, my boss and I like to totally trash each other when nobodies in the store. This real real dorky kid came in the store and his voice was up an extra few octaves, making him sound like someone pinched his testicles, and he asked for Mage Knight and got excited when I gave him free stuff. When he left, I told Joshua (my boss) that if I EVER sounded like that, he was fully authorized to kick me in the face. I don’t wanna sound like that. EVER.

But now I’m home, missing emily, and excited because I’m going to nickel nickel on Saturday. I’m going to play arcade games for cheap, and have a good time. And miss emily...but that’s good for us. Missing each other. I love her, but you all know that...oh well. I’m off. Tomorrow, I play magic with nerdy friends, and we might start our musical careers. WYLD STALLYNS!

What I’m listening to: The guy from thespark.com has a band called Bishop Allen, and they’re good.

What I’m reading: http://www.aintitcoolnews.com

What I’m thinking: <Would you rather have on national TV a videotape showing everything you’ve done in front of your bathroom mirror for 24 hrs –OR- a TV special in which every pair of underwear taken from your hamper was hung?

I’d have the videotape...that would be so cool. I’m like this golden god in front of the mirror. All 139 lbs of me, flexing, and making scowling faces...man, I love mirrors. And am I ever stuck up, or what?>

2-06-02

Today was boring. Boring to the point where I wish I just could skip it and not have to relive how incredibly dull it was. I woke up, watched The Wedding Singer on DVD, which was fun, then went on the internet, which I’m constantly doing...meh. I wish that I were less lazy. I made raviolis, for what they’re worth. I drove Emily to On Track, then my brother home from school...today was like this long boring road in the middle of Arizona that has cacti and shrubbery on it, which is cool, but then you get bored of that, and so you want to sleep, but you’re driving, so you can’t go to bed. You’re not allowed to, or you’ll die.

I did start the Nintendorks Olympics, which is going to be fun, but I feel like it’s going to just justify the fact that my life is very very slowly going down that giant toilet drain. I need to do something else, to get my mind off of this. I need to go to college, where I’ll be too worried about school to worry about myself. I want to not be lazy.

It was Wednesday, so after choir I went over to Emily’s to watch Six Feet Under. If you’ve never seen it, watch that show. HBO is good because of that show. The greatest line of tonight’s show was: “’How should I make out the card?’” ’Fuck you, cunt’” Very humorous, dark, and yet refreshing show. Lots of gay sex too, if you’re into that sort of thing.

Damn, I’m so tired. I have a stupid orthodontist appointment tomorrow at 10:15. I have to remember that. And I have to go to astronomy. Maybe that’ll get my mind off this stuff. The stars. Hopefully. I work, too.

I feel kinda empty inside these days.

Well, a short post, but my hearts not in the right place. Meh.

What I’m listening to: New Weezer, from their new CD which hasn’t come out yet. A few songs. Preacher’s Son, Dope Nose.

What I’m reading: Naked, by David Sedaris

What I’m thinking: <crying while talking online to a friend isn’t fun, because you can’t see the keyboard and you make a lot of typos, and you hate typos. well, I do. And now that sentence I just wrote has this stupid green wavy line under it, which means that it’s a run-on, which I got reprimanded so harshly for. I hate run-on sentences.>

2-05-02

Well, today started with crap. I tried to go to a photography class and add it this morning, but when I got to the college, there WAS NO PARKING. I drove around for twenty minutes before saying screw it, and heading home. I probably wouldn’t have gotten into the class anyways, and I was ten minutes late. I came back for my drawing class at 1 after going home and eating lunch.

Drawing...hmmm...well, let’s just say that the teachers not going to be fun. She’s the type of teacher who tries to find meaning in every little thing in her drawings, and loves shoes. If I were to draw, I would just just say, hey! That looks cool, and draw it. But no dice for her. We have to draw this upside down David Hockney to show the capabilities of our right brain blah blah blah. When I’m finished, I’ll post it here, or link you guys to it. I hope it turns out all right. But anyhoo, I sat next to this “musician” who had long hair and this long goatee...and he kept asking me what day it was. Musicians need to stop smoking the wacky weed.

(Oh, and in strange news, I got really bored on my questionnaire and added up all the numbers of the classes she had, which comes out to 983, which is a prime number, made up of a perfect square, 9, a perfect cube, 8, and a prime! Aaaaaand, her name had 5 letters for the first, 7 for the last, primes again. Also, questionnaire has 13 letters, prime again. BORED!)

So, after school, I went to work and made over five hundred dollars. Which is pretty good, considering I work at a place selling things that average 10 dollars. I made two huge purchases, one at 260 dollars (Harry Potter cards) and one at 150 dollars (just a lot of stuff and poker chips). But all in all, it was a great night. My HP league was at high attendance, with three of the funniest leaguers ever. Of course, I shot my mouth off and one almost started to cry. DAMN MY MOUTH! I did it again later in the evening, making emily feel stupid. She’s not. I’m writing this because I seriously believe that Emily is incredibly intelligent. She doesn’t give herself enough credit. I wouldn’t love as much as I do if she didn’t have the wit she does. I’m not the biggest fan of stupid people, and I feel terrible when I make her feel dumb, because she ISN’T. ARGH. I wish I could make her see herself like I see her. I love her.

Well, I sign off another boring edition, I’ll talk about something else. What I look like. Ok. I weigh in at 140 lbs, and am skinny like a board. I have a little bit of a stomach showing, because I’m getting kind of lazy and fat, but everywhere else I’m just bone thin. I wear a lot of small t-shirts or v-neck sweaters, or new to me, cowboyish emo shirts. I have plastic thick framed glasses, a BIG nose, and black hair which flips up in the front. I look kind of like a cross between Rivers Cuomo and Jonathon Silverman. My personality is harsh, talkative, sarcastic, and caustic. I’m not too fun to be around. You’ll laugh, but a lot of times you’ll feel dirty for laughing. That, or want to get away from me as soon as you could. I don’t find myself attractive, but Emily does. So, I guess nothing else matters.

What I’m listening to: Ozma. My burned CD. Too bad that Mallory’s sister stopped dating that guy from Ozma. DAMMIT.

What I’m reading: The Graphical Version of the GREATEST SSB:Melee FAQ EVER

What I’m thinking: <Till the night/I realized/I still see the world through candy-coated eyes>

2-04-02

Work again, opening the store was no fun since the ENTIRE F Drive was gone when I came in in the morning. That’s the server that the whole Game Keeper information is kept. It was gone. When I tried to open the store, under My Computer, there was no icon. NONE. Luckily my boss swooped in and saved me by calling the tech guys. Someone had apparently hit/kicked the dell tower (“you’re getting a Dell, dude”) and it lost all of the f-drive information temporarily. Your guess is as good as mine.

But anyhoo, the store got up and running, things went smoothly, but boring. Nobody comes into game stores on Monday mornings except the weirdo

gamers who think it’s fun to “verbally abuse” us. Go home and play your D&D. Stop messing with me. I have a job, you have sandals and pit stains. Jeesh.

I went and took pictures for a show I was in LAST year for a friend. It was the show where emily and I first really met each other. It was this political show called “The Car” and nobody really liked it. It was good...but not for High Schoolers. There were these retarded asian guys who saw it (The Chens) and they asked questions along the lines of: “am I really that stupid” to which I answered, very calmly, “yes.”

Emily and I went shopping, and I was wearing Gap clothing and this guy who worked at the Gap noticed and I felt really really self-conscious. It’s ok, though, because I don’t really care if I was wearing Gap. I do care that the gay guy at the Gap was watching me and noticing me. That’s not good.

But I must sleep. I have class tomorrow, and I want to get into the photo class too, which starts at ten, so I need to rest. Anything else amazing and wonderful happen today? Oh, I fell in love with emily all over again. There’s this shirt she tried on that reminded me why I really like being with her, and looking at her. She has the guts to wear something like that and still look amazingly beautiful. I can’t imagine anyone else wearing something like that...and she pulls it off. She thinks she has no creativity. I think she doesn’t see it in herself. I love her.

What I’m listening to: Super Dodge Ball has a great set of thwomps to every hit that I make with my gravity ball.

What I’m reading: http://dorksforum.cjb.net/

What I’m thinking: <She woke from a dream/Her head was on fire/Why was he so nervous?>

2-03-02

Patriots win. Good for them. Yes, most of the people I know where ardent Rams fans, but my dad has been a die-hard Patriot fan since the 70s. So I stuck with him, and cheered along side him. He likes to yell when good plays go down...and so there was a lot of yelling in our household. Down to the goddamn line too. Great game.

Church was fun too...got to sing next to a short lesbian lady who sings tenor and alto. Hoo-doggy, she was a laugh riot. Always fun...oh, and the huge bassist, you know there’s always one in every choir, he got a solo...SO LOW YOU COULDN’T HEAR HIM!! LOL!!!11!!! No actually, it was pretty good.

Emily and I watched Malcolm in the Middle, and seeing that little kid with poison oak...well...let’s just say I laughed and laughed. Emily was in a great mood, jovial...and she took her glasses off for a bit. She’s beautiful, if you’ve never met her. She doesn’t think so...as most girlfriends who aren’t whores think they’re ugly...but my god. She’s gorgeous. One day, she’ll wake up and dump me for some other, more attractive guy who matches her better.

Well, I open the store tomorrow. Open the store TO FUN! No actually, it’s boring to open the store, people are so mean in the morning. Especially the old women asking about bingo cards and bridge decks, they’re the worst. They walk in and ask me if I have either item, which we do, and then to give them a recommendation for a “young boy” to play. This boy always is into “sports, like baseball...he likes playing outside, and hates being inside, so I want a game for him to play.” Jesus. Maybe giving him a GAME might not be the BEST CHOICE, GRANDMA. people are stupid.

What I’m listening to: The Strokes, Is This It

What I’m reading: http://www.nintendorks.com

What I’m thinking:

2-02-02

Wow. two oh two oh two. Well, after taking Emily to school for OCAD, I opened the store and had to suffer through a Pokemon league. Poke-kids are the worst humans alive. The scurge of the earth, they feed on one of the most simplistic TCGs ever, Pokemon. It’s a banal, trite, luck ridden game, and the kids here play it like cock fighters. I just hate to see them squander so much money on the damn cards, but then again, it makes money for the store, so who cares. Pokemon is like crack cocaine.

And, I washed my dad’s car today. I’m not such a good washer, and I’m always afraid people who walk by will talk to me as I’m washing the car. I don’t need to hear your words of support, and no, I will not wash YOUR car. I’ve heard it enough.

Tonight, as I was surprised to learn yesterday, we went to see The Lion King at the Pantages. The drive to LA was nice, I just wish my GBA would catch more light, and we got parking right next to the theatre, but then had to walk the dirty, seedy streets of Hollywood looking for a place to eat. So...much...porn...It’s so gross the amount of filth littering the walk of fame. I feel sorry for most of the stars, because they’re just gross. No matter, dinner was at the Sun Palace (my brother pronounced it “soon” when he first saw it), a Chinese restaurant that wouldn’t serve us for like a half hour. It was ok food, but I’ve had better.

But, onto the show. I liked it, visually. The costumes were great, and there were spot performances that really shined. But it had this faux Disney polish that kind of made it duller than everyone says it to be. I just wasn’t overwhelmed like I thought I’d be. They added these terrible songs (well, except for He Lives in You) and...I’ll stop there. But, on a 1-10 scale, it’s a definite 8. 8+ for the Zazu character alone. See it if you haven’t, but don’t go overboard like the radio commercial and see it “for my fourth time, it was such a moving experience, gave me goosebumps.”

What I’m listening to: nothing at all. I have no working CD players as of right now.

What I’m reading: http://www.thespark.com

What I’m thinking: <Why is it that people feel the need to tell me that nothing in Alanis Morisette’s song Ironic actually is ironic? I KNOW. I graduated 7^th grade, people. I don’t need to hear it again.>

2-01-02

Ok, I had to change the date because these should say what I did today, not when I’m writing them. As of now, I’m writing this on the first, as opposed to last update, which was written very early this morning.

Well, let me finish my introduction. I am currently working, and I’ll be taking classes in Astronomy and Drawing next week at the current community college, since I’ve got mounds of free time. So my life will center around Emily, school, and Nintendo. Yum. If you want to interact with me, my email address is typicalnerd@hotmail.com. I’m also found on the nintendorks.com message board, under the elusive guise of RubixsQube.

So, on to what I did today. After watching my brother play Counter-Strike (he’s 15, when is he ever NOT playing C-S?) I decided to play some more Chrono Trigger. I’m not a fan of RPGs, but at the insistence of my friends, I thought I’d play this one. I’m not too bad, or so I thought. I just got to the Reptite’s lair, and I’m starting to get my ass handed to me. Oh well, try, try again. I went and got a crappy drive-thru car wash (every time I go through one of those, I feel like I need to hear the song Mama Loves Mambo. It fits PERFECTLY to drive-thru car washes) I had asked for “the works” the top-of-the-line seven dollar car wash, but apparently, this car wash entails totally missing large portions of dirt all over the car. I have to rewash it tomorrow. Bitches and hoes.

Robert went to soccer, I went and took Emily home (I do it often, but it’s ok) and then helping her study optics for OCAD. She fell asleep on me, so I went to Disneyland (my local haunt) and hung out with a friend of mine. This is probably really boring, I’ll try to make future updates less boring. Work was fun, my Magic deck is undefeated, but of course I was against Arthur...and that’s not really much of a challenge. Now I’m home, bored, and pissed at my computer, which is humming too loudly. Chalk it up to internal retardedness.

What I’m listening to: Jimmy Eat World

What I’m reading: http://www.somethingawful.com

What I’m thinking: