Exhaustion opens the gateway to morbid creativity
Well, once again I sit down at my computer, crank some music, and blow the cyber dust off my neglected blog...what an interesting, and somewhat physically and partially draining summer it's been...I've stretched myself far beyond the point of exhaustion in the fight to maintain my somewhat ailing social life...I spent a day out at joshs cabin boating around, tubing with josh, lorna bill and jennie...what a great day that was....so many sundays wasted at boston billiards and stats straining my poor vocal cords, and the ears of the poor saps that had to endure my singing :) got together with the gang to help jennie and linda move into their new place, and have since spent quite a few fun days there...had an EXCELLENT time at the exhibition with bill, linda, tish, his brother, miranda jennie and tara, and went on a lot of rides, including a few I never thought I'd have the guts to go on, and ended up working the next morning with roughly 3 hours sleep...and oh joys of joys, my failed attempt as a telemarketer for the charity cause on crack...Xentel...with its evil employs that I swear slept hanging off their roof for exactly 2 minutes a day, and yet managed to bounce about the room as if they were some sort of chaotic gnome on a combination of effedrin and pure adrenaline...and now, august 10th, the summer draws to a close...I actually almost look forward to the long, cold winter ahead, as if I will find some sort of respite from the insanity I have partaken in...maybe someday soon I shall get a decent nights sleep, and a well deserved day to relax...until then, good night

booze is not your friend
Alchahol does wierd things to people

It can turn the best of friends into bitter rivals,
It can make a meek person into a vicious fighter, it make a commited person cheat...sometimes it's effects can be pleasant and welcome, sometimes it can turn us into depressed, reclused individuals...

I've really as of late come to despise the way it makes me feel....lost deep in thought I tend to ponder towards the negativity I generally strive to keep bottled away...bitter feelings of resentment....pleasant feelings of deep fondness....many different feelings spiraling in an emotional blender, mixed together in an indecipherable thought....

in an already confused and clouded mind, this tends to make matters worse....endeavoring to make sense of my already complicated life

(lost my train of thought) goodnight

Just when you had things figured out...
Well, it's been quite a while, but what with the goings on in my life coupled with the fact that I until tonight forgot my own damn password to log into my journal, it's been impossible for me to write...

So much has happened since my last post, I cant even think of where to start....well, it's summer again so I'm back at good humor...working my ass off to make a living...bills living downstairs and has been for about 3 months now...and suprisingly we havent killed each other yet...although one night we came close...c'est la vie....

Tonight was an eventful night, Shyla of all people called me...the last person I ever thought would call me....so we hada nice long chat about what we wanan do with hunter, about visitation and such....looks like Im going to get to see her again on wednesday...*crossing fingers* not really much else noteful going on in my life...I wake up, Iwork I go hang out with someone...I sleep...same old ad nauseum....

Linkin Park - Numb
wow, quit the delay in posts....I've been busy though, I found work! W00t...well, I put in a couple days at the plains hotel, and that was....well...bunk, but I got a call from 24-7(which I start at tomorrow) new years eve day, so I quit that job, which worked out cuz I SOOOO didn't wanna work new years eve...

now THAT was quite the night....

Whitney had a party, and it was pretty cool, alot cooler than the party we ended up ditching off to go to for a bit....we ended up spending like 45 minutes in the cold waiting for a cab, PRAYING we'd make it back for midnight(which we did, with minutes to spare) so in the end it was alright, a good night....

this weekend kinda sucked though, specially since I sat at home on saturday night cuz everyone but whitney and I went to lin's christmas party....ahh well, no big deal really, woulda just been the same ole, I just HATE spending saturday night at home...

Nothing much has happened beyond that, I start
a new job tomorrow, so that should be interesting....

Ravers on Dope - Acid
Meh, a long put off post, too many things that have recently happen, and I've wanted to post them all, but had no ambition to do so....another "feelings post" tonight

having been laid off last thursday, I've been feeling rather useless...added to the fact NONE of the applications I've filled out all the resumes I've put out...not a single call back....I NEED a job, I need money...whits moving out in 2 weeks and I'm already half a months rent behind....I dunno what Imgunna do...I need a job and soon....other than that, I'm more or less....confused on everything that's been happening....everything around me seems to be changing, and people are changing and i'm just watching it all happen :P

Fuck you all
I had a great weekend....at least, I think I did....really, I swear I enjoyed myself....yet I'm so fucking miserable....I went to a movie, played some video games, DJ'd a family party and got to see some people I havent seen in ages....and even work was cool tonight....still, as soon as I came home, I just felt angry and miserable....shrug, dont know what my deals is, but I hate it here at this very moment....I wanna leave and stay gone for a long time....i just wanna pick up and go somewhere where no one can find me, and get away from it all for awhile....

I fucking hate people, I wish they'd just fuck off and leave me alone...sick of the bullshit, and the lies and the two-facedness of it all...people pretending to be something they aren't....

fuck it, I hate being in a pissy mood....Im gunna go to bed....

Tranceportation
it's Sunday, and I'm at my mothers as usual

My mom and brother are busy at work, making the frame for her new closet....the closet my brother might come out of some day....kiddding of course...

it's been a very good weekened indeed, i've had more fun that I can remember having in a long time :D

Friday night, I went to moose jaw with josh, lorna and jennie....kinda on the fly, jennie was over hanging out with luda and I, and out of the blue josh called her up and asked if we wanted to come for a ride, so off we went....we went to his apartment, hung out for a bit, and later ended up in the town and country mall...

now I've spent alot of time in malls, but it's different being in a mall in a different city....may sound lame, but everything seems so....fresh and different ....either way, after our little mall experience, we tried to find a place in MJ for coffee, but we ended up just going to smitties in regina...after they left, my buddy dave came and got me, we grabbed jeremy from my house and we went to the uni to play some UT2k3 with the "nerds" as I call them :D actually, they are pretty alright guys...

saturday was the "big" christmas party for jennies work, so a bunch of us(jennie, josh, lorna, joey) and I all met up at the rack, and played pool and drank til around 12(josh and lorna left at around 11) ....after that jennie had to go home, so garret(we ran into him there) joey and I were gunna go find something else to do, but stopped at BK along the way and suddenly joey wasn't feeling good, so we dropped him off and called it a night....

it may not sound like anything exciting, but it was definately a great weekend :D

and now it's sunday, I'm at my moms and I have to leave for work in an hour....weekends over, back to the real world for another week....poo...more later

-=- Justin -=-

Digitally Imported is my drug of choice!
*yawns* Here I sit, 3am and once again I'm well beyond tired, and should have probally gone to bed hours ago....oh well, I'm young and impetuous....the joys of youth....except lately, I don't feel all that young...I feel alot older, a lot wiser than I was even a year ago....alot has happened in the last year, and It's actually served a lot of good....I've found a new sense of discipline and ambition that I recently thought unfathomable...

I've been working at the call center for almost 2 months now, and for once in my life I feel like I'm where I want to be...It's not the greatest paying job in the world, but I work with great people and feel like what I'm doing is right, and I've never felt that before...

Unfortunately, the hours suck, and I've thus been prompted to aquire other employment to supplement it...at the moment I havent had much success, but feel as though I shall rectify that, and soon...until then, I'm not doing to bad off....my finances are in order, and with a roomate I don't feel to rushed....it all seems to slowly be coming together....

All I'm really lacking now, is a girlfriend....someone to share my joy with, someone to have fun with....to spare me of the loneliness I sometimes feel when I'm laying in bed at night...A slight tinge that reminds me that no matter what I do, I still lack a part of my life...a small void that needs to be filled...

at the same time, I cope, and I'm in no hurry...I've had several opportunities, but for once in my life i feel no hurry...I've realised that sometimes being alone is better than suffering with someone you don't truly care for...I'm content to wait, unwilling to rush into something I am not completely happy with...

Until then I work, I sleep....I spend time with my friends....in a way, with the good friends I feel less alone than I could ever feel where I with someone...

SuperNovA
and today makes 3....I'm on a roll baby :D

I woke up around 11 today, as per my usual regime...Bummed around the house for awhile, , trying to find someone to go to wonderland with, but of course everyone was busy ...not really interested it rushing into the day,as saturdays are usually my lazy day(and/or sunday MY sabbath) darryl came over around noon, and we all kinda sat around being lazy until we left for downtown around 130...the bus took forever to get here, but what else is new....once we got downtown, we parted ways and I headed off to the bank and to wonderland where I spent 2 hours playing ddr with this really cool kid that was just learning....I love teaching noobs the tricks of the trade so to speak :D ..

Of course during the middle of a song, josh gave me a ring wanting to make plans for later...typical, but no biggie :D after wonderland I headed home, had a shower and hung out with whit, darryl and his friend mike, listened to some music and played some cards....then josh, lorna and jennie came to pick me up, we picked up joey and dropped jennie off...

headed to boston pizza to play some pool, and garret and his cousin met us and we decided to head to joshs to drink and play pool....after going to joshs we suddenly decided to head to his apartment in moose jaw, so we packed it up and headed to moose jaw, hung out did some drinking and then headed back around 230 and I passed out...joyous times had by all

-=- Justin -=-

One in a million
Wow, now look at that...2 days in a row for a post....I must have no life or something :D lol

Anyways, today was a pretty good day indeed :D Well of course any pay day is a good day in itself

I didnt sleep very well last night (the usual strange dreams plaguing me) but I woke up around 10 oclock, hopped in the shower and went off to work to pick up my PHAT pay cheque which was more than I had expected (gotta love bonuses :D)

after that, I headed downtown, cashed it and hung around a bit, catching the concert for the grey cup party(mutters about how the riders SHOULD BE PLAYING, Stupid crooked refs) waiting for whitney to call me so we could meet up

After we met up, we went for lunch and then went shopping(house stuff and a present for my friend)

after that, we went home, I did some laundry, had another shower and then met my friend jennie, played some pool, drank some beer, and then I came home and crashed....fun times...