November '01
Thursday, Nov. 1--
One week! One week until Good Charlotte! I'm so excited. It's like, I don't even care that I don't know when their birthday are, or what their middle names are. It's not a teeny-bopper obsession at all! It's so different. They're probably the first band I can honestly say I fell in love with before I knew what they looked like. We're all excited. That's one of the reasons I decided to start this journal. I wanted to share my fun feelings with everyone. No one will probably ever read this, but hey, I know it's here, and that's all that really matters to me!
I have a bunch of projects due this week too for my homeschool study group, but I'm pretty close to being done with everything. That's a relief. I should get going though, I have to go look for a new job. More later this week. Night!
-Ambrienne
Sunday, Nov. 4-
I've been moping around for the past few weeks. I can't believe how much our country has come together after the September 11th thing. It's amazing how much such a tragedy can cause everyone to put aside differences and to act like we're so alike. I cry a lot because of it, whether I was affected honestly or not. I was emotionally affected, though I didn't even know anyone who was hurt or killed. But it hurts deep, deep inside. I can't even imagine what people were thinking to do something like this. What psychotic person would actually do something like that? Kill thousands of innocent people....So many people are going to be lonely for a long time because some idiot wanted to prove something that's still unclear to the US. I think we'll find out more and more as time goes on, but it's just crazy. I don't feel well. I should go lay down. See ya later.
-Ambrienne
Wednesday, Nov. 7-
Good Charlotte is tomorrow! Isn't it funny how I didn't even put any time in picking out an outfit? I think it is. I usually spend weeks on that type of thing, but I'm just really uncaring right now. It's all about the music and I couldn't be more excited! I'm going to bed now though because I'll be up late tomorrow. See ya!!!!!
-Ambrienne
Friday, Nov. 9-
I've got waaaaay too much to talk about. Last night....was possibly the best night of my life. Ashlie and I got to the Emerson at like...4. The doors didn't even open until like...7:30 or so. So we stood outside and waited. After about 15 minutes, I decided that I was going to go look for a bathroom. As I was wondering around, I saw Benji walking toward me (he's in Good Charlotte). I was like, "Hey! I'm Ambrienne!" We started talking about names and stuff, then proceeded to music. I told him I was a huge fan and was super excited about the show and how much he and Joel's lyrics really meant to me. I didn't ask for an autograph or a picture, so I think he knew I was for real. I went on about how their lyrics helped me get through all the tough times and how I was being homeschooled because my first three years of high school I was nothing but tortured, only by three people, but it was enough to affect my school work--and my mom wasn't having it. We talked and talked...and I told him I knew he was busy, so I should let him go. But then he asked if I'd like to meet the rest of the group, and I obviously said yes...but then I remembered Ashlie and found her and drug her along too.
So, we got to go in the back way of The Emerson with Benji. He introduced us to Mest and The Movielife guys, and then took us to the rest of Good Charlotte. Billy was tuning, so I didn't get to talk to him much, but he was really polite and I told him we understood that tuning is a very important part of instrumenting. Benji said he had some stuff to do as well, but he'd be back later. Paul asked if he could borrow one of us, and Joel sent Ashlie, because he said he wasn't done with me. He asked me about school, what my future plans were, what there was to do in Indiana, stuff like that. I felt really comfortable with him. And though he was amazingly attractive, his voice is what held me. I was practically paralyzed by that gorgeous voice. :::sigh::: Anyway....we talked for a really, really, really long time. Benji came back a few times to make sure we didn't need anything, but I guess he knew Joel was into the conversation, cause he'd always leave again. Ashlie later told me that she and Paul were helping clean the theatre and stock water bottles by the stage. They had some good conversation too.
We talked until about 7-ish and Joel said he needed to be on stage for another quick soundcheck, but he told us that if we helped Wes set up merchandise at the table we could have anything 1/2 off. So we did. I bought like....5 shirts, a hoodie, a hat, stickers, etc. Joel also asked what I was doing after the show. I told him probably nothing, and he asked if we'd like to hang out some more. I said sure. He gave me a kiss on the cheek and took our merchandise and told us to pick it up after the show.
So, here we were in the front, front row of the venue, and fans start filing in. We were so excited...and I was developing a serious crush on Joel! But about the show...I saw my pal Angie and I told her to come up with us...so she did. I told her what happened and she was completely and totally jealous. She said she needed to go back to the back though, because she wouldn't make it in the front.
The Movielife played, then Mest played. Good Charlotte finally came out...and it was the best concert I had ever seen. It was amazing. I loved it. Joel decided to crowd surf right over our heads and when he got back down, he reached out for my hand to make sure I was okay...and then I fell in love with him. Yes, it's true. I did. Right at that moment. They played every song on the CD except Screamer, which I'll get to later. Benji kept making silly faces at me and Ashlie and we liked every moment of it.
After the show, Benji let us backstage again and we met up with the guys. It took about an hour for them to pack up everything they needed with them, but the crew was going to take care of the rest of it. Joel asked us what we wanted to do and of course, we cared not. Ashlie, being the party pooper that she is, said that she should probably go home. What?!? But yeah, she drove! I was like, then I'll walk. But Joel said he'd bring me home, that is was no trouble and I thanked him. Ashlie thanked everyone for their hospitality, I took pictures, she got autographs and a guitar pick and she was on her way. I hugged her and told her to never, ever forget this, and I knew she wouldn't.
Billy was on the phone with his girlfriend, Paul was dead tired. So it was just me...and Benji...and Joel. Wow. What could make a girl happier? It was approximately midnight when we were making decisions, and Benji kept thinking of really goofy things to do. He too, decided it was bed time, I hugged him and made sure that I had his contact info because I was "a real cool chick..." I had already taken about 34 pictures of me with the guys, all different combinations, and got autographs...Benji even gave me the sheets off of his bed...It's an inside joke, you don't wanna know. Joel asked the bus driver to just take us to Sunshine Cafe, so we went in and got some French Vanilla Cappuccino. We had an honest moment. It was amazing. Here; lemme do my best to type it out in conversational format:
Joel: Amb; I feel like I haven't been completely upfront about my motives for bringing you out tonight...
Me: What do you mean?
Joel: I think I gave you the impression that I brought you out just to show a fan a good time and my appreciation for your loyalty. But I mislead you.
Me: Then why did you bring me here? <keep in mind, I was thinking that he was feeling what I was, so I was trying to hide behind a huge smile>
Joel: It's like...I've known you for less than 12 hours and I've had more fun in these past few hours than I've had with someone in a long time. The guys are great, don't get me wrong, and the girls they bring around are nice, it's just...none of them are real. They're not like you. They don't get what I write about, they don't feel it like you, they don't make me smile, or wish I could bring them on the road...they're just...there.
Me: What are you saying, Joel? Be more specific.
Joel: Here's, let's go outside. <He paid for our Cappuccino and we went outside on the benches> Wow, this is easier than I thought. Ambrienne, I like you. And I know, I don't even know you hardly at all, but I've never found it easier to talk to anyone like I have been able to to you. Do you know that other than in my songs I haven't talked about my father to anyone but you in 5 years? You know what I'm feeling and...the fact that you're so beautiful it's just...
He paused and I gasped for air. I couldn't believe a rock star...someone I idolized was opening himself up like this to me. I didn't think I was special. Not at all.
Then it happened. He kissed me. Wow. It wasn't a porn-tongue kiss by any means. It was a sweet; I'm-going-to-marry-you-before-you-turn-21 kiss. Wow. It was my turn to say something.
Me: Joel, I feel that way too. But what makes you think we can work this out? My mom isn't going to let me follow you around. I'm 18, but she still rules all.
Joel: I'm aware of that, but we can make it work. I'm not saying, let's go get married, I'm just saying, let's date, see what happens...I know it's a fine line, but it's worth trying, isn't it?
Me: Of course it is. <I smiled and kissed him again, this time with a little more assurance.>
It was late. 4-ish actually. My mom was going to pitch a fit. Reluctantly, Joel asked the driver to take me home, and the whole way there, I rested in his arms...the comfort of an almost complete stranger, but not really. He said he'd call, but I don't know if he will. I might have just been the girl of the night, but if so, I'm fine with it. It was amazing. But now my hands are tired, so I should go.
-Ambrienne
Wednesday, Nov. 14-
Joel called! We talked for about an hour. He's still on the road. Having fun. He said he wants me to come visit, but we all know it's not possible. I'm going to visit at Thanksgiving I think...so that will be fun. I gotta go now though, I'm going shopping with Ashlie. Sorry this is so short!
-Ambrienne
Tuesday, Nov. 27-
I'm in Waldorf...with Joel! It's nice here. Very pretty. I like it! I wouldn't mind living here. Joel and I...well, we made ourselves official. It's been fun here. I didn't like flying though, cause it wasn't that long ago that September 11th happened. Joel's family is very, very nice. I like them a lot. I also decided though, that I'm coming back to Waldorf after Christmas. Joel said that would be fine. :) That makes me smile. Okay, well, Joel and I are going shopping, so I g2g. PS: Benji says hi!
-Ambrienne
HEY! IT'S BENJI! YOU DON'T KNOW THAT, THOUGH, BECAUSE MY TYPING IS JUST LIKE AMB'S CEPT I USE ALL CAPS!! OKAY, SHE'S TRYING TO LEAVE AND DOESN'T WANT ME READING THIS SO...BYE. -BENJ