Got Beef??? Answer To Mr.T

This section is devoted to my thoughts... just the random things I feel.  So no dates no events, just a sneak preview in the mind of a loser.

* The home life is literally driving me crazy. My parents, especially my dad, are psycho fags. They just gotta chill. They assume I'm ruining my life based on the fact that I do normal teenager things, and I behave like a normal teenager. I like to have fun, I'd prefer having fun over doing work, but I still get my work done. They want me to study 24/7... they're psychos. End my parents are psychos section and move onto other reasons I hate my life... wait... there are no other reasons, just the parents. Lets move on to why I love my life. First of all... Beth, my super-cute, super-smart, super-sweet, super-fun girlfriend. I always feel good when she's around. Second, my friends... always a good time. Third, Inner Circle, my "groupie." Fourth, music... my escape from life. Fifth, my drive to be back in California, my life dream is to go back to California to live the life I wanna live. In my house at the end of the peninsula, along the shore, at Newport beach with Beth... and possibly all my friends who wanna come.

* I still crave to get out... I believe I always will until I actually do. I grow to hate my dad more and more as the days go by, he makes me feel like my life is a waste of time, sometimes I feel like he's right. But it's not so bad. In a recent talk with Justin, I realized that a lot of people had crazy fathers... it kinda made me feel better, not really, I actually wished I had one of those crazy fathers. Not too long after this convo with Justin.. I had a talk with Jay... the topic of depression came up... I've recently gone back to my constant depression state... He told me that I didn't seem like the kind of kid to ever be disappointed, to be sad.... well I am... I'm just good at hiding.

* Here's a new one... who's been grounded for attempting to wear sandals to school???? Oh wait... I know the answer... I HAVE!!! WOW... My dad yelled at me on the morning of May 8, 2002 for trying to wear sandals... and when I tried to explain to him that not only Indians (which is the reason he doesn't want me wearing them.... cuz he thinks Indians are the only ones to wear sandals? Yea... I don't get it either) he grounded me!!! WOW... worst reason ever!

* Wow... I'm sooo glad I have a girlfriend as sweet and beautiful and as perfect as Beth... I love you with all my heart... you mean worlds to me!!!

* I'm not really complaining about anything and I really don't know why I'm doing this. But Snits are awful... they're terrible... I'll just find a beer bottle and stick a flower in it... I mean it's just as good right? Right? I guess that's it.

* The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death. What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch and you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You go to college, drink alcohol, you party 24/7, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities. You become a little baby, you go back into the womb, spend your last nine months floating...and you finish off as an orgasm.

* You know what's the best feeling in the world... being loved... knowing you have someone who feels the EXACT same way you do about them... ahhhh, how sweet it is! You know what else is awesome??? Kisses in the rain!!! Ahhh...

* I think i pinpointed the point of my downfall... it was second grade... i had just joined the YMCA basketball league. I really loved basketball. And my father asked me what i wanted to be when i grow up, I naturally told him I wanted to be a basketball player... he told me to be realistic. WOW... awful. Then many of you ask me why I suck at the trumpet now... well it's because I stopped practicing... you know why? I told my dad I might want to study music in college... now lets be realistic... I don't want to waste my time doing that and ruin my life right? NOOOOO!!! Of course not... so I stopped practicing and quit the piano and trumpet lessons at generally the same time... heaven forbid i have dreams.

* Sooo.. there are people who make you feel like you're an asshole... i maintain it's not my fault if you think this. I blame it on my friends... lol, friend do one of 2 things: they bring out the best of you, or they bring out the worst. For the most part... my friends bring out the worst... don't get me wrong...i love em all, and i love what we do... we're runamucks... and damn proud of it.

* Yesterday is history, tomorrow's a mystery, and today's a gift, that's why it's called the present. Although i may seem angry, mean, and talk like i hate my life... for the most part, i'm lying... well sometimes. I don't know why... but as of now, i'm extremely happy, everything's going right. AHHHH... a sigh of relief.