Are
You a Dirty Good For Nothing Commie?
Don’t
be so sure…
Take
this Quiz and Find Out Once and For All!!
Pick
the answer that best applies, dipshit.
1.
When you were a
child, you said you wanted to be a ------ when you grow up.
a)
An Astronaut
b)
A Doctor
c)
An athlete of
some sort.
d)
Someone useful and important
e) A fucking garbage man…because that’s what you could end up being!
2.
You find the
scent and feel of filth to be
a)
Unnerving
b)
Undesirable
c)
Something you’d
like to avoid
d)
Bad
e)
Glorious. Better than a million toothless blow
jobs. You fucking scoundrels.
3.
You are clearly
better than everyone else at something.
Therefore you should…
a)
Use your skills
to gain power
b)
Make lots of
delicious cash
c)
Get laid all of
the time in nice hotel rooms
d)
Speak in front of
large groups of people dimly seeking answers
e)
Be in no way
rewarded for your efforts…Eat just as much as people who can’t figure out how
to tie their goddamned shoes. You see
drools over there? He has a better job
than you do because your government is being run by a bunch of damn cigar
smoking convicts!
4.
In an ideal
society, competition would be erased.
This notion, and ones like this, are total
a)
Bullshit
b)
Hogwash
c)
Queer drivel
d)
Dandruff material
e)
–ly acceptable…
logical to your weak, aggravating mind.
5.
----- said,
“Religion is the opiate of society.”
a)
Karl Marx
b)
Marx
c)
Engels and Marx
d)
The Communist
Manifesto
e)
I don’t
know. Castro told me that I should swing
the bat instead of read the books.
6.
The concepts of
minority right and majority rule…
a)
were proposed by
Robert Dahl
b)
make a lot of
sense
c)
are important to
freedom
d)
are the best for
the greatest good of a population
e)
no rights. Rights? Psh…I like when people tell me what
to do. Watch as my friend pumps my ass
with a Che Guevara mask on.
7.
Hey pal, want a
better life? Okay, but I’m going to tell
you how much fucking chocolate you can eat.
a)
Uh, what?
b)
That is a heaping
mound of Caribou shit.
c)
I’ve never heard
of anything more ludicrous
d)
You can eat a die
burger, pal.
e)
Great! I’m
ignorant! Sign me up!!!
Score
Key
Answers
A-D: You are varying degrees of correct and spectacularly not gay and/or
communistic.
1
E: You’re kind of dumb, but no commie
2
E: You fail to notice patterns, which could make you a decent communist [which
is impossibility, if taken literally]
3
E: If you were on the electric chair, I would offer you a cold shoulder
4
E: I would slit your throat with a spoon.
5
E: I would pay $20 dollars to see you boil on Pay-Per-View
6
E: You have officially become far worse than Michael Moore.
7
E: Even Hitler and Stalin think you’re a dingle berry. Die in a humiliating and terrifying fashion
you abomination of a human being.