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Coping With Your Loss

It has been very hard learning how to deal with a loss so heart-wrenching as the loss of a child. There are things that I have found help significantly, so I will now share those things with you so that maybe they will help you as well.

1. Dedicate a song to your baby and listen to it whenever you feel depressed or when you want to feel closer to him or her.

2. Find an angel or cherub candle holder and light a candle in memory of your baby.

3. If you haven't already done so, name your baby. I never knew for sure what the sex of my baby was, but in my heart I felt that she was a girl. Go with your heart, and follow where it leads.

4. Make something and dedicate it to your baby. This can be anything, from a poem to a song, to a needlepoint cross-stitch or a baby quilt. If you do not have a particular craft, take a class at the local arts and crafts store.

4. Plant a tree in memory of your little one. If you are experiencing a recent loss, plant a young tree so that you might watch it grow as your little one would have grown year by year.

5. One thing that used to bother me immensely was going out to stores and seeing cute little baby outfits and toys - things that I really would have wanted to buy for my baby. I got very sad, because there was no longer any reason for me to buy these things. However, if you are trying to conceive, or plan on trying to conceive again, make yourself a hope chest - a special box in which you will save baby things for the future. I really felt a lot better, and more hopeful, when I no longer felt I couldn't buy baby things. So buy them! And keep a hopeful outlook instead of a pessimistic one.

6. Buy a little baby piggy bank and save all of your loose change throughout the month, and then at the end of the month, roll up the change and spend it on a baby item of your choice. Then put the item in your hope chest!

Coping During The Holidays

Holidays can be very stressful times for anybody, especially those who have experienced the recent loss of a baby. To better deal with the holidays, here are a few things I have found extremely helpful.

1. Christmas: Buy or make a little stocking and put your baby's name on it. Hang it up with all of the other stockings. On Christmas Eve, light a candle for your baby and sing a Christmas carol to him or her.

2. Mother's/Father's Day: Sometimes it is depressing when you are in the store and you see a mother's day or father's day card that you would have loved to receive from your little one. Buy it, sign their name on the bottom, and then open up the card on Mother's/Father's day.


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Stages of Grief