It has been very hard learning how to deal with a loss so heart-wrenching as the
loss of a child. There are things that I have found help significantly, so I
will now share those things with you so that maybe they will help you as well.
1. Dedicate a song to your baby and listen to it whenever you feel depressed or
when you want to feel closer to him or her.
2. Find an angel or cherub candle holder and light a candle in memory of your
3. If you haven't already done so, name your baby. I never knew for sure what
the sex of my baby was, but in my heart I felt that she was a girl. Go with your
heart, and follow where it leads.
4. Make something and dedicate it to your baby. This can be anything, from a
poem to a song, to a needlepoint cross-stitch or a baby quilt. If you do not
have a particular craft, take a class at the local arts and crafts store.
4. Plant a tree in memory of your little one. If you are experiencing a recent
loss, plant a young tree so that you might watch it grow as your little one
would have grown year by year.
5. One thing that used to bother me immensely was going out to stores and seeing
cute little baby outfits and toys - things that I really would have wanted to
buy for my baby. I got very sad, because there was no longer any reason for me
to buy these things. However, if you are trying to conceive, or plan on trying
to conceive again, make yourself a hope chest - a special box in which you will
save baby things for the future. I really felt a lot better, and more hopeful,
when I no longer felt I couldn't buy baby things. So buy them! And keep a
hopeful outlook instead of a pessimistic one.
6. Buy a little baby piggy bank and save all of your loose change throughout the
month, and then at the end of the month, roll up the change and spend it on a
baby item of your choice. Then put the item in your hope chest!
Coping During The Holidays
Holidays can be very stressful times for anybody, especially
those who have experienced the recent loss of a baby. To better deal with the
holidays, here are a few things I have found extremely helpful.
1. Christmas: Buy or make a little stocking and put your baby's name on it. Hang
it up with all of the other stockings. On Christmas Eve, light a candle for your
baby and sing a Christmas carol to him or her.
2. Mother's/Father's Day: Sometimes it is depressing when you are in the store
and you see a mother's day or father's day card that you would have loved to
receive from your little one. Buy it, sign their name on the bottom, and then
open up the card on Mother's/Father's day.