CHOAD - LADIES, GET IN LINE (2003)



AWAITING YOUR ENTRY----- Welcome back This is the 2nd time I'm back in attack And this time i'm gonna make your pants even wetter Choadus in in the house again Penetration inside your ears I'll stick it in and thrust it hard Don't even scream cuz I'll just fart You hear my voice You can't resist I'll touch your thighs Cuz it's my thang THE CARNIVOROUS MINDSET----- Sleeping with my clothes on Trying so hard To feel like I am right there by your side Holding blankets, make believe Craving something to have, to hold, and warm I want to touch your cold skin I miss the flesh on flesh sensation That each and every human always dreams about But it's all in daydreams It's all pretend Are daydreams closer to reality then the hell spawned demons that haunt my mind and tear apart my heart I will never know All I know is how bad I want to be your everything You know just how easily you could be mine MY NAME IS COLOR CRAYON----- Happy and happier Flowers blooming Happier and happy Flowers blooming more Happy and happier Happy happy happy Buy me for one and open on top You pressed my face I left a smudge A few skidmarks My name is color crayon I don't know why I don't eat poop When you thrust I EXPLOZSIE! But cream on me crop Chinchilla bee hive A slut, a hole this big My name is color crayon FINGERPAINTS----- You put your fingers in You take your fingers out You put your fingers in You get the paints on your spouts Draw pictures with the paints Draw pictures on their mouths It's that time of the month And I'd like to know what's up PMS Let's use your blood for a fun play toy CRUSTED CAMELTOE----- Oh, there's a crustie There's a crusted cameltoe SICK EM' POOP NUG----- Put on your diaper Don't let your nug slide Clean ya' poop up Potty train ya' self Ted, get your damn puppy potty trained Before he poops all over And creates and excretement train MR. VERICOSE----- WHAAAAOWW! LOOK OUT CUZ HERE I COME. WHEN I COME ITS QUICK LIKE DOCTOR SHOTS. That raisin on the floor violet colored Resembles my style in not cool ways OH THE VEINS THEY'RE BULGING OUT THEYR BLUE AND PURPLE LIKE A MAGIKIST (like a magikist!) Riding over my skin like fuzz on a peach OH MY GOD I CAN BARELY TELL WHAT IT IS Hot dog for breakfast food Or a weiner dog for dinner lunch ELMER FUDD----- Oh Elmer you stud Why old Elmer Why you gotta be shootin Bugs? Why you gotta be waxin ass? Why you gotta be bakin cakes? Why do I want you so bad? Oh Elmer you cunt Stop set bunny traps Stop shootin Bugs Oh Elmer kiss me Elmer Fudd Your bald head is like my toes Your weather feels like sex BUNYONS ARE EVERYWHERE----- Bunyons are everywhere in your hair Bunyons are everywhere Debonaire Bunyons are everywhere Spread the Nair Bunyons are everywhere Over there .Onion my bunyon. PETER NORTH IS MY FRIEND----- Shoot those money on their face Thrust those pelvis in their place Peter North is my friend Jenna J...Lexus L...Tera P...he's fucked em' all Nikki T...Taylor Hayes...Kobe Tai...fucked em' all Briana Banks...Inari Vachs...Chasey Lain...blasted their face YOU ARE MY IDOL YOU ARE MY IDOL YOU ARE MY IDOL YOU ARE MY IDOL PETER NORTH IS NO LONGER MY FRIEND----- I stepped into the locker room Smelling your sweaty, hairy-ass armpits But they give me a boner I can't fucking help it at all I MUST BE GAY Fuck me in the ass Masturbation is my friend I MUST BE GAY So now comes the time When I will reflect on my rectum Reflect on the times that It spread like peanut butter A loaf of bread I can't believe that you'd even think about it Or talk about it Why don't you regret What you put your cock into this time Peter North, you're not my god damn friend No longer THE DANCE LINE----- They are hot LITTLE EMLEEZ----- Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Don't you take a step Don't you take a move Falling up a tree Sister of Emily Why don't you just put on your damn crown M-E-R-E D-I-T-H M-M-M-M-M-M-MEREDITH She's the best damn Suby of them all MOSEKX----- What we need in this nation is mosekx. Everyday blocked from society And billboards and advertisements. Everything is blocked away from society. What we need is mosekx. SANDPAPER LIPSJOB----- Put your lips on my cock Crusty sandpaper lips Like used toilet paper Crusty dried innocence This is the end of all blowjobs For a really long fucking time I'M NOT YOUR DOGHOUSE----- Don't blame your cracks on me Don't lay your smacks on me I'll be there watching you When you suck off the vampire FUCK YOU I'm not a muffin I whack it often I'M NOT YOUR DOGHOUSE I'M NOT YOUR KIBBLE BONES whyyyyyyyyy BLACK-HEARTED FUCKING BITCH GO EAT SOME DOG FOOD "lemme see you fucking move" You just watch and see I'll slap your bleeding butthole FREE KITTENS----- Words so cold and grey Forgotten mouth, bleeding chin Sucker punch to the face Money shot in your mouth For all the times the cock wasn't mine TEDSOAP----- Ted, you wash with soap, or poop Or soap, no poop Ted, you wash your face Your face Black beans Green toe Scotch up Hip down Fuck shit Straight up Drink fast Swallow It lays on the table for years at a time Don't you think someday you'll find the white kind Ted, wash your face GO TO HELL, HILLBILLIES----- What the fuck HOBBIES: HAIRCUT----- HAIR-CUT Cuttin' your hair Cuttin' the reds CUT-THE-Red-Off Cut it off Chop it off RED Get it off Red-RED-red FUCK ME OVER.COM----- Don't you think when you wink I think? Thinkin back to early days They sucked me in I never thought they wanted to sin MAYBE THEY WANTED TO DIE DIP YOU IN THE GREASE AND FRY Hey, come here, kiss my lips Tongue within tongue Rape isn't illegal if they want it Rape is legal if they ask for it Dye your hair Change your name I'LL REARRANGE YOUR FACE BJORN DEFLOWERS THE GREAT WHITE LILAC----- When I saw her face My purity was gone with the wind My arms are extending I'm lost in love Can't you see how I'm lost in love My eyelids shut I'm seeing past lust She walked past Missing my glance I'm touching her face I'm trembling now But beauty's in my grasp I saw her face FEAR AND LOVING IN LAS VEGAS----- When you left You took my whole world with you You took fucking everything (my everything) When you come back I'll be waiting With a weak heart Once strong for you I'll forgive you If you tell me, honestly That you care And you will hold that until your death SEE YOU IN THE AFTERLIFE----- Sweat drops A firm juice in your eye Oops I did it again Justin Timberlake justifies Britney Spears will do me some day No matter what you say I'm fucking better then Rappe Eat a dick, it's probably gonna be mine It better be bitch cuz I'm beyond divine Choadushouse is here to stay And he sure as hell ain't gonna steal your kool-aid





CHOAD - MAIL ORDER BERNIE (2001)



BIRD FLY HOME [Choad]

Yo man! Let's start this shit!

You swiped that credit card
You took it right out of my hand
I slid it under the table
And you took it back again

Why couldn't you of told me before this time
I'm just looking for a better answer
A better way to fall in line

I can't save you anymore
You will try but you can't RUN



99% PHAT FREE [Choad, Webb, Nelson, Adams, Pederson]

Choad~
Move in on this track
Like a beam that you can't react to
Every step I take
Farther down the side
That you can't climb down the wall this time, Spiderman
Sing it rap G
Fartknocker son of a bitch
I'll roll ya down in a joint, and i'll smoke ya
That's what I do in this town
That's what i do every time
Peace out mothafuckers

Webb~
Peace out my brotha
Ha my name is what
My name is wha...
dicka dicka...

Adams~
WEBB.

Choad~
I'm back in attack
And I'm back with combatribes
We got nightsticks and we got handcuffs
We're gonna handcuffin your ass to the floor
And we're fuckin you up the ass

I'm gonna play with that cock
And those titties
And the clitorises, motherfucker
I got a 9 inch motherfuckin cock

Webb~
It's Big Webb D
In the fuckin house
Hey, hey you fuck
Fuck you
Hey you over there
Fuck you
Hey, hey you in the corner
The little one, with the little penis
Hey, yeah, fuck you too

Car~
Webb D in the hizouse...
Mighty Ducks 2...back in 94'...
When i was some crackhead...
Fuck that shit
I was in Florida and the guy ran by me

Choad~
Back in the house again
Choadmaster flex
Stretchin 9's
Liftin' 8's

Adams~
Call me Donny

Nelson~
9's?

Pederson~
Tell em' Steve-Dave

Fuck man

Webb~
Man.



POMPADOR OBSESSION [Choad, Lutterman]

Arkangel, dark angel, lend us thy light
Through death's veil, till we have heaven in sight

My sideburns are uneven
Secretions from your vagin
Sideburns
I'll fuck you up the ass

My sideburns are uneven
The huge tits of Britney Spears

Sideburns
Fuck
Anger
Fuck
Sex
Cock
Anus
Britney
Queef

CUTTS PAD [Choad]

Yo yo yo yo yo
This is a song that i'm gonna rap about
I'm gonna rap about a girl
This girl's name is Alisa
You probably know her
She goes to my school
She's a sexy mama
She's a sexy mama
She's the kind of girl
That you try to get in her pants
Get her on your pad
On the Cutts Pad
Down with the Cutts Pad
Cutts Pad
Cutts Pad



BRETT GETS HEAD [Choad]

He doesn't even have to try
He doesn't have to pass her by
He doesn't need to ask
He doesn't need to look her in the eye

He stick his cock in her mouth and says suck it
And she goes all down on him

Please
Tell me why



I Want To Fuck Britney Spears [Wise, Choad]

She is my angel and always has been
Britney Spears has to be the hottest piece of ass ever to walk this planet
In a planet of destruction and chaos
There's one angel left
Britney Spears has to be the fucking hottest person in the world
All I want is to fuck her doggystyle
That's right, doggystyle
Grab her from behind
Put my penis in her vagina
And thrust back and forth
That's all I want
If I had one wish
It would be to fuck Britney Spears
I wanna fuck Britney Spears
It's all I want is to fuck her



Josh Lutterman [Choad]

You are my friend
You are my kinda guy
You have a small penis
Mine is bigger then yours

You are the best guitar player
You know good music
You always eat all my foods
Let's not take a shower together

Joshua Lutterman
Josh Lutterman

Rock over Eliza Dusku
Rock on Toni Klimek
Teet balm
Stay soft



Song of Anger [Choad]

No



Rock N' Roll Sbarro's [Choad]

Sbarro's is the place to rock
It is a resteraunt where they buy food to eat
It is a good place to listen to the music
People flock down here to get to the rock music
Sbarro's will make you fat
They serve pizza
They serve pastas
They will put pounds on you
Sbarro's pizza is the worst
They are worse then Pizza Hut
One slice has 26 grams of fat
The next slice has 28 grams of fat

Rock n roll sbarro's

Rock over Kellie Vanhyfte
Rock on Serena Iacono
Sprite
Obey your thirst



Lost Thoughts [Choad]

Pondering on my lost thoughts
You wonder with curiousity

What if this world were covered by men
What if there were no females
Everyone was a man
No vaginas
Only penises, into anuses
No vaginas
What if an orange were an apple
What if you slept with a raccoon, and not a pillow
Why do you need a pillow in the first place?
Why isn't a raccoon good enough for you?
I don't understand



This Hayride Is Scary [Choad]

Death to the intruder
You will die
Suffer

This hayride is scary

I took a step off the back of the bus
Someone help me i'm gonna die
Please, please stop the bus

Six hundred and sixty six
It's going to sink into your tongue
And it's going to bleed all over your face
He's going to eat all of you
And he's going to suck your dick



Mrs. Larsen [Choad]

You talk in a monotone
It annoys the hell out of me
Stop talking in a monotone
Or i will crack ya head with my karate stick

Stop giving me assignments
Stop telling me to be quiet
You are old
Sinbad says "Math Is Power"

Mrs. Larsen

Rock over Pam Martin
Rock on Brenda Remer
McDonald's
We love to see you smile



Mail Order Bernie [Choad]

I give Bernie a treat
I give Bernie a treat and spank his ass
I give Bernie a treat
I give Bernie a treat
Put Bernie in the mailbox

Put Bernie in the mailbox
Put Bernie in the mailbox good
Put Bernie in the mailbox
Mail Order Bernie

What have we got?
We gotta Mail Order Bernie

Mail Order Bernie!!!

I love you, Bernie



Christianity [Choad]

What's reality?
It happened in my time
And I lie
I hope that you believe
Right

Your soul will be fine



Jordan Theiwes [Choad]

You are my friend
You are my kind of guy
You are incredibally sexy
The ladies cannot resist you

You are a psycho nut
You would kill for a penny
You need therapy
You scream like a banshee

Jordan Theiwes

Rock over Brenna Trainer
Rock on Christy Smiland
Fight Club
Mischief. Mayhem. Soap.



Wesley Willis [Choad]

You are my friend
You are my kind of guy
You are a big man
I love you

You are my idol
You are my best choice
You weigh 320 pounds
I would not stick it in you

Wesley Willis

Rock over Lindsey Eikill
Rock on Britney Spears
Viagra
Stay hard


Sound of the Stone [Choad, Wassell, Healy]

I met this girl who wants to get loose
I met her on the back of the caboose
I took her back home and I took her in the attic
Yeah

My name is Willy
I got a big dilly
Dilly gettin in on a grim fandango
Yeah we up in the rainbow
The motherfuckin rainbow...

Comin' in from vacation
I'm takin in from nymphocation
Comin' out the station
Put out some novacaine in my masturbation
Can you take this, can you take the masturbation?
Masturbation everywhere
What what what
Amen...



The Whip [Choad]

Ted, how could you just keep going on?
Letting her treat you like this...
How can it be like that?
You can't let it be like this
You gotta fight
You gotta put your fist up in the air
Courageously, and epically
...for the world

You gotta be Ted Day
You gotta be rock star
You gotta fight it strong
You gotta tell her she's wrong

Stop being a fucking pussy and stand up for yourself
Stop letting the bitch laugh in your face
Stop letting things be like that
Stand up for yourself
Spread your wings and fly

You gotta be Ted Day

Rip off that shirt
Take off those pants
Do it Terdy Ted Style...



Mongoloid Family [Choad, Wise]

Hey
I'm at a picnic!
Hi!
I eat water muffin

Hey you

Steak...mommy give me steak

Ice cream
That ice cream man!
I see him over the hill!
In the ice cream man

Sometimes I get my finger stuck in my butt

Remember that one time when I pooped my pants?
Oh wait...that was like two seconds ago
I can't believe it!
Sometimes my mind just goes off like that!



Erik Gets Jerked Off [Choad]

He begs and begs inside his head
But all he does on the outside is lie

He'll do anything, anything for action
And acts like an asshole

Why



The Ballad of Engdahl [Choad]

We need to learn to compromise and...
Fight back, relate
Stick dick in face

Chick repression
Causes depression
What's so special
About his penis
I could fuck him
Up the ass
That wouldn't make me
Any different
Then if i had
A bigger penis then him

Bow down ladies
Suck his weiner
You all want him
Now you got it

Why you taking my women away from me

Fuck you



Tenthousand Cottonlove [Choad, Pederson]

Eat my dust
As I walk along down the path, down the road
Down the road, down the street
Down the road

Where I ate that cottage cheese

Tenthousand cottonlove



Losing My Discman [Choad]

Kill the motherfucker if he don't know what to say to you
Put his balls in a bag and have another beer or two



Wall Drug Epic [Choad, Pederson, Johnson, Nelson]

We took Webb's van down to South Dakota
We went to buy some groceries at this place called Wall Drug

A robber came up from behind
And fucked me up the ass
I grabbed his right asscheek
And told him to "Fuck off, dunkstick!"

When will we finally get
Quality strawberry milk
And scrambled eggs
At Perkins

I went down with Choadus
In the van of Webb's
On an epic adventure of Wall Drug

The Locust is playing
I can't take it no more
Car, bury your head
In your hands once more
A dog is fucking you up the ass like the ugly girl in the picture

I won't ever be straightedge

(Never go to North Dakota)



Why [Schneider, Choad]

Why
Why the fuck do you treat me like this?



Hardcore Dance [Choad]

Let's dance...



Emotions Burning Red [Choad]

If you could stay here in my arm
Running fingers through your hair
Underneath my sinking eyelids

We're all virgins here (Hold back)
You've got nothing to fear

So take a step up
Open up those precious, angelic eyes of yours
Stop expecting more then I can provide
Accept the fact that me on you are not at a level

Where we can...
Dark faces in which you concieve

So now I've stumbled
I shot you in the face
So now I'm falling
Falling

Why do I suck



Lindsey, I Kill [Choad]

How dare you betray me, your master
To say this is the end