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Old Spoken Word
for all the Spoken words i have done.
Why do we as people make descions or do things that we know will put us in a shitty state of mind or make us feel sad or pain or even make us depressed? Well i can tell you i do it all the time now i know this may sound stupid but its my own fault but its also not. I was a pretty secluded kid growing up and i got used to being alone. When i got friends i wasnt used to hanging out whit them so I didn't. I got over that mess and then something happend mid-way threw may Jr. year of highschool. I got toally depressed then lonlyness set in and pain and anger. Shit man i was like a bomb waiting to explode. So when i got out of feeling all those feelings and started to enjoy happyness i missed being lonley. So i found ways to put myself in situations that i know wherent good for me. But i also found out that during those times i was able to get out all the pain that i couldnt get out when i was going threw it so i would write and write and write. SO for me it works out. but you gotta know when to draw the line or it will consume you. It already got me but i was able to get outta of it. So when i came to the conclusion that i was also making another mistake in my life it sucked but i accpeted. I didnt get depressed but just thought alot. I figured out that i wasnt being true to myself. Think of it this way. I have been threw a lot of shit in my life and i never really had people i felt i could turn to so i promised my self that when ever someone needed a friend i would be there for them 24/7 i didnt want anyone to feel like they never had anyone to turn to. But what i found out 5 years after that promise is that i started being everything to everyone. This hit me hard real hard. But at the same point it helped me out figure shit out. So now here i am just a lonley 18 year old kid and this is all im gonna say. till next time my friends and fans or whoever and whatever you are. Im here to listin just email or call and i will listin. But im still gonna try to work on myself just like you should to.
John Larson
