Site hosted by Angelfire.com: Build your free website today!
This week at Energizer Corporation, handshakes fastened the deal of a century. At a %50 cut of projected promotional profits, Shadow Synth Band, ALTAiR will do a number of commercials in which Energizer batteries power their synths and other electronic equipment. At least two of these commercials will feature actual live shows played to crowds of 73,000 people... powered only by AA Energizer batteries. The band will perform on top of an estimated 165,350,000 AA batteries. The commercial will of course show only one battery.

This just in: The first show featuring ALTAiR playing with only batteries was a disaster as the commercial aired live, showing a man in a pink bunny suit jump on stage to beat drums for the opening to "Heavengeance" which enraged the band. Aaron refused to share the percussive glory with a "sissy pink bunny" and the band reports that it was in the contract to have NO bunny! Aaron hit the patented "ALTAiR Bass Drum" and burst some 3,000 batteries, spraying battery acid on the man in the bunny suit, slowly killing him. Thirteen people in the front row suffered blindness and facial scarring. ALTAiR payed every injured party $1 million dollars out of pocket, saying that it was petty cash anyways.