Again the shadowy hooded character appeared... ALTAiR expected eternal life, yet the being lowered his hood revealing the face of Taylor HANSON! His deep booming voice was strange sounding due to the voice changer toy he held to his pimpled, hairless face. "You," he squeeked now, "have destroyed our biggest enemy, but in doing so you have become larger than they were. You now threaten our return from the one-hit wonder pages in the annals of music history!"

From his belly he tore two ribs, which morphed into the other brothers Hanson...

Screaming hippies, yuppies and preppies fled from the Tea Bar, spilling their Earl Grey Pluses, which splashing on the Brothers Hanson effectively melted the eldest and gayest of all.

Aaron touched a button on his key ring that transmogrified his house key into a drum kit and slammed the skins loudly, causing a window to shatter, cutting the other two.

Erik whipped his golden synth from behind and beneath his leather overcoat and slammed the pitch bend as high as it would go hoping to implode the ear drums of the non-synth-prepared pre-teens.

"Blast, it's not working!" Erik yelled.

"Quick!" cried Aaron, tossing a golden drum stick. "Use this to jam the pitch lower than it's capable of! Remember, their voices are higher pitches than even the gold synth can reach!"

Erik jammed the stick, sending the pitch so low that one of the Hanson brothers' intestines leaked from his anus, causing a slow death that everyone stopped to watch before resuming battle...

Then, silently preparing his golden E string... Casey plucked firmly and held the butt of his Flying Golden V Guitar as He-Man would hold his sword and said "By the POWER of ALTAiR!!!!" Lighting crashed through the roof, killing and re-killing the Hanson brothers. "I HAVE THE POWER!!!!!!!!" he cried valiantly as bystanders cowered under espresso machines, ears thumping and heart's pumping. ALTAiR assumed positions of altitude by standing on their dead enemies and began playing "Something Eerie," an unreleased B-Side which drove all the goth chicks to become wet within their dreams...

And there were no more standing in the way of the greatest band of all time.