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The College Freshman 2001


EACH YEAR THE STAFF AT BELOIT COLLEGE IN

WISCONSIN PUTS TOGETHER A LIST TO

TRY TO GIVE THE FACULTY A SENSE OF THE MINDSET OF

THAT YEAR'S INCOMING FRESHMEN.
HERE IS THIS YEAR'S LIST:

1. THE PEOPLE WHO ARE STARTING COLLEGE THIS FALL

ACROSS THE NATION WERE BORN IN 1982


2 . THEY HAVE NO MEANINGFUL RECOLLECTION OF THE

REAGAN ERA AND PROBABLY DID

NOT KNOW HE HAD EVER BEEN SHOT.

3. THEY WERE PREPUBESCENT WHEN THE PERSIAN GULF

WAR
WAS WAGED.

4. BLACK MONDAY 1987 IS AS SIGNIFICANT TO THEM

AS THE GREAT DEPRESSION.

5. THERE HAS BEEN ONLY ONE POPE.

6. THEY WERE 11 WHEN THE SOVIET UNION BROKE APART

AND DO NOT REMEMBER THE

COLD WAR.

7. THEY HAVE NEVER FEARED A NUCLEAR WAR.

8. THEY ARE TOO YOUNG TO REMEMBER THE SPACE

SHUTTLE

BLOWING UP.


9. TIANAMEN SQUARE MEANS NOTHING TO THEM.

10. THEIR LIFETIME HAS ALWAYS INCLUDEDAIDS.

11. BOTTLE CAPS HAVE ALWAYS BEEN SCREW OFF AND

PLASTIC.
12. ATARI PREDATES THEM, AS DO VINYL ALBUMS.

13. THE statement "YOU SOUND LIKE A BROKEN

RECORD" MEANS NOTHING TO THEM.
14. THEY HAVE NEVER OWNED A RECORD PLAYER.

15. THEY HAVE LIKELY NEVER PLAYED PAC MAN AND HAVE

NEVER HEARD OF PONG.

17. THEY MAY HAVE NEVER HEARD OF AN 8 TRACK.

18. THE COMPACT DISC WAS INTRODUCED WHEN THE WERE

1 YEAR OLD.
19. AS FAR AS THEY KNOW, STAMPS HAVE ALWAYS COST

ABOUT 33 CENTS.

20. THEY HAVE ALWAYS HAD AN ANSWERING MACHINE
21. MOST HAVE NEVER SEEN A TV SET WITH ONLY 13

CHANNELS NOR A BLACK/WHITE TV.

22.
THEY HAVE ALWAYS HAD CABLE.

23. THERE HAS ALWAYS BEEN VCRs, BUT THEY HAVE NO

IDEA WHAT BETA IS.

24. THEY CANNOT FATHOM NOT HAVING A REMOTE


CONTROL.

25. THEY WERE BORN THE YEAR THAT WALKMEN WERE

INTRODUCED BY SONY.

26. ROLLER-SKATING HAS ALWAYS MEANT INLINE FOR

THEM.

27. JAY LENO HAS ALWAYS BEEN ON THE TONIGHT SHOW.

28. THEY HAVE NO IDEA WHEN OR WHY JORDACHE JEANS

WERE COOL.

29. POPCORN HAS ALWAYS BEEN COOKED IN THE

MICROWAVE.

30. THEY HAVE NEVER SEEN LARRY BIRD PLAY.

31. THEY NEVER TOOK A SWIM AND THOUGHT ABOUT

JAWS.

32. THE VIETNAM WAR IS AS ANCIENT HISTORY TO THEM

AS WW1, WW II AND THE CIVIL WAR.


33. THEY HAVE NO IDEA THAT AMERICANS WERE EVER

HELD HOSTAGE IN IRAN.


34. THEY CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT HARD CONTACT LENSES

ARE.

35. THEY DON'T KNOW WHO MORK WAS OR WHERE HE WAS

FROM.

36. THEY NEVER HEARD: WHERE'S THE BEEF? I'D WALK

A MILE FOR A CAMEL, OR DE

PLANE, DE PLANE...

37. THEY DO NOT CARE WHO SHOT J. R. AND HAVE NO

IDEA WHO J. R. IS

38. THE TITANIC WAS FOUND? THEY THOUGHT WE

ALWAYS KNEW WHERE IT WAS.

39. MICHAEL JACKSON HAS ALWAYS BEEN WHITE.

40. KANSAS, CHICAGO, BOSTON, AMERICA, AND


ALABAMA ARE PLACES, NOT GROUPS.

41. McDonald's NEVER CAME IN STYROFOAM

CONTAINERS.

42. THERE HAS ALWAYS BEEN MTV.

43. THEY DON'T HAVE A CLUE HOW TO USE A

TYPEWRITER.

DO YOU FEEL OLD YET?

PASS THIS ON TO THE OTHER OLD FOGIES.
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