F*@KiNG RiCED KRISPiES!!!

Lots of people want to kill me. Lots. You do to, I bet. But, I keep running into this Elf who tries to kill me (unlike the oatmeal guy who I'm convinced only wants to eat my brain).So anyway Doctor Kelstein said I'm making it all up and there is no elf, it's just a side-effect of my medication. But, that's when the elf killed him. So now the police think I did in and they want to arrest me, but it was the elf's fault. That rat bastard! I'm sick of always getting blamed for what that goddamn elf does. The post man, that was the elf's fault. Mrs. Stevens and her poodle, that was the elf, too. That little creep even buried seven bodies in my flowerbed. So I was out at Wal-mart the other day and the elf showed up and killed everybody but me (it's toying with me), but not before I snapped a few pictures of it wit a disposable camera. These photos have not been doctored in anyway. Especially not in Photoshop.

(click on the pictures for a larger version)

The Rampage Begins... As the surly elf bursts into Wal-Mart, brandishing some toy-making apparatus of some sort obviously stolen from Kellogs or Santa's workshop. It killed all the cashiers with that, that and a crowbar. It hid the bodies behind the counter.

Carnage Ensues... after the knife incident, that rascaly elf killed everybody else with a hot-pink beretta from the, uh... gun section. Kool-aid man tried to stop it, but he got killed to.

Cornered! ... but not for long! The little bugger jumped behind a clothes rack, and when I looked, had burrowed straight thru the floor. Once again the elf leaves me behind to take the blame.

In conclusion, the elf did it.

Dodge the Elf!