Raven: (Hi! This is the beginning of my story. It starts some years later…)
Aurelia: Mommy! Mommy! Zane hit me! And now he’s fighting with Seth and Grave!
Raven: (I get up and go to the living room)
Raven: Zane! Stop fighting with your brothers. Go to your room, right now.
Zane: This isn’t fair. They started it!
Raven: Seth, what really happened?
Seth: Grave pushed Aurelia into Zane. Zane pushes her away and then confronts Grave.
Raven: Grave, did you really push your sister into Zane?
Grave: Yes, mother.
Raven: Why?
Grave: It’s because Zane never gets in trouble and I always do. It was his turn.
Raven: That’s not a very good reason. Zane gets in trouble just as much as you and now you’re grounded for a week.
Grave: What! I didn’t do anything! Zane started the fight!
Raven: You’re also going to say you’re sorry to your sister and brother. And Zane for fighting you’re grounded for a week, too.
Grave: This is sooo unfair! Zane was the one who started fighting with me. And I refuse to say I’m sorry to Zane! I never did any thing to him! Oh! Sorry, Aurelia.
Aurelia: Apology accepted. What about you, Zane? I may be only 7, but I can be just as mean as you! Remember? I take fencing lessons and I can even beat you, Zane! And when I’m older I going to be better than all of you!
Raven: That’s enough, Aurelia. Now go to your playroom and play. I have work to do…
Lance: Honey, I’m home! Where are you? You know I always get lost in big houses! Look, if you don’t answer I’ll get lost and it’ll take you days to find me!
Raven: I’m over here! In the study! Now, where was I? Oh, yes, you two go to your rooms and Seth, go find your father.
Raven: (I waited for about ten minutes until they came. I never knew Lance could yell so loud. Well, anyway, when they arrived I told Seth to make sure his brothers went to their rooms. After Seth was gone I started talking to Lance about some important topics…)
Raven: Lance, whom do you want to invite to the next ball at the citadel? I’m inviting Jak and Kassandra, Liana Templar and Jay, Taylor and Zada, and Valentyna and Thane Page.
Lance: You can’t forget to invite Jak’s, Taylor’s, and Valentyna’s children. You know Jak’s are Matt, Sara, Andy, James, Jake, Celestyne, Damia, Chase, Alanna Rae, and Lynda. Taylor’s are Gavyn, Devon, Wolfe, Eryc, and Stephany. And Valentyna’s are Hazel, Klymestra, Alaric, Jaylene, and Lark. Oh, have you seen Destini? Or Hunter? They were supposed to be back by now. I sent them food shopping this morning. Don’t worry, they are the oldest you know. Well, after you know who. They took Symphony and Cera with them, who took Asia and Daniel with them. Never mind.
Raven: What do you mean never mind? Six of our kids are missing!
Lance: Don’t worry, two of them are old enough to take care of them all.
Raven: (Meanwhile…)
Destini: We’re lost aren’t we?
Hunter: No, we aren’t.
Destini: Yeah, sure. If we aren’t lost then where are we?
Hunter: Somewhere near the supermarket?
Destini: That’s it! I’m never letting you drive again! This is what happens when I don’t do things myself! How could you get lost going home from the supermarket?
Hunter: I don’t know!
Raven: (Back at the castle…)
Lance: How old are their kids now, anyway?
Raven: Our children are missing, and you want to know how old our nieces and nephews are? Don’t you even care?
Lance: They’ll be just fine.
Raven: I’m calling the police! Oh, and Matt 18, Sara 18, Andy 17, James 16, Jake 15, Celestyne 15, Damia 14, Chase 14, Lynda 14, Alanna Rae 13 Gavyn 18, Stephany 18, Devon 15, Wolfe 14, Eryc 13 Hazel 17, Klymestra 16, Jaylene 15, Alaric 14, Lark 14.
Raven: (Just as I pick up the phone to dial, the door flies open and in walks Marec, the oldest son of our family…)
Lance: Marec, what are you doing here?
Marec: I came to see how everyone is doing. And when your next party is.
Lance: Planning to crash another one?
Marec: No. I want to come.
Lance: That’s what you say now, but what about later?
Marec: I won’t crash the party!
Raven: Calm down, Marec.
Marec: I’ve got to make a phone call. (dials and speaks)
Marec: Me?
Mystery speaker: Yeah you.
Marec: Why are you doing this to me?
Mystery speaker: I don’t know.
Marec: Will you stop?
Mystery speaker: I’m going to kill you. No, don’t write that. This is off the record. Oh. She doesn’t like black. Are you going to publish this? Why is there Titanic music playing?
Marec: Who said it was black? What? Yes! And I like it playing!
Mystery speaker: No! Marec, (Melissa) don’t type no unless I say so! Okay type. Hi, this story is about me now.
Marec: Who’s this about? Oh, the Lady of the Dark. What?
Mystery speaker: She wasn’t born yet.
Marec: What happened to Jack and Rose?
Mystery speaker: Oh, I killed them.
Marec: How can they die? They’re already dead!
Mystery speaker: They went to the Elysian Fields.
Marec: Except for the fact that this is a play.
Mystery speaker: Since when?
Marec: Well, it’s a play now.
Mystery speaker: What? Wait, who’s this? Marec? You’re (Melissa’s) still typing. Marec (Melissa), when you're done typing, can you go to the first one. Save it and go to the first one. And I want the blue, no, red pages!
Marec: Don’t you remember? Alyssa read the first one. Oh, never mind, I’ll give you the pages. This is stupid!
Mystery speaker: It’s stupid…how can’t it sound stupid? Calm down Marec.
Marec: Oh, yeah, that makes a lot of sense. It says “Calm down Marec.”
Mystery speaker: How about they travel over the Yellow Brick Road to the… what?
Marec: The Yellow Brick Road doesn’t lead to the Elysian Fields! I should know, I’m saying (writing) it.
Mystery speaker: I’m going to make my own Elysian Fields, with a Yellow Brick Road leading to it and I’m going to bring Jack and Rose back to life! And the Titanic will rise again and never sink.
Marec: Wait, I’m (she) still typing Jack and Rose. What was after Life? WHAT WAS AFTER LIFE? Mystery speaker: And the Titanic will rise again and never sink!!!!!!!!!!!!
Marec: What comes after that? Wait, I already sunk it and you're ruining my whole story!
Mystery speaker: Anything else?
Marec: Uhhh, yeah. MEOW! MEOW! SIR SNOOGGLE IS HERE!!!! TODAY IS THE DAY!!!!!
Mystery speaker: Go away! (Susan says)
Marec: TODAY IS THE DAY!!!!!!! THAT JASON AND ADAM DIIIIIIEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! AND BEFORE THAT, JASON MARRIES ALYSSA AND LIVES HAPPILY EVER AFTER!!!!!
Mystery speaker: You wish. Kill them all! HE HE HE!
Marec: She’ll be mad.
Mystery speaker: She is.
Marec: Really?
Mystery speaker: Yep. She’s going to kill you. Type “Kill the cats!” Why does the music start again?
Marec: It never stopped. I (She) won’t type that.
Mystery speaker: Why?
Marec: I (She) like cats.
Mystery speaker: Type it!
Marec: No, because I’m cool, and you’re not.
Mystery speaker: Are you still hearing the mysterious voice?
Marec: What mysterious voice?
Mystery speaker: What voice are you talking about?
Marec: I don’t know!
Mystery speaker: I’m serious. Type “Kill the cats!”
Marec: Can’t. Can’t. CAN’T.
Mystery speaker: How many Kilobytes did you use?
Marec: About one and a half. No, one.
Mystery speaker: Kill the cats!
Marec: SAVE THE CATS!!!!!!
Mystery speaker: TURN THE MUSIC OFFFFF!
Marec: You know, it was playing the whole time I was talking to you. (And the band plays on!) (You know, the backstage part with parentheses.)
Mystery speaker: What happened to Jack and Rose?
Marec: They have many kids and then die. Ha ha ha ha!
Mystery speaker: Stop laughing! How many kids did Jack and Raven have?
Marec: You know, Jack and Raven didn’t have kids.
Mystery speaker: Jack and Rose then (Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet)! Marec (Melissa), what are you doing? Can this can be part of it?
Marec: But it doesn’t make sense. No. They can’t have conversations with people they don’t even know! Well, yeah, she doesn’t know what your half of the conversation is.
Mystery speaker: THE TITANIC WILL SURFACE AGAIN! WA WA WA WA!
Marec: Well, at least it won’t sink.
Mystery speaker: When did the Master of all Darkness leave?
Marec: When she came.
Mystery speaker: Won’t he be really old, though?
Marec: He doesn’t age.
Mystery speaker: Who are the Dark Ones?
Marec: You know, they’re the followers of darkness. Why?
Mystery speaker: Well, you know.
Marec: Ah. I did.
Mystery speaker: And what is my response to your “I did?” What are you doing?
Marec: What? Listening to the Titanic CD. Do you know how many times I’m going to write this?
Mystery speaker: Driving Miss Daisy. Don’t put that, it makes no sense. I’m a little teapot! No, don’t put that either. Before that put Ha Ha Ha! She said put what down? No, she said don’t put that down and then put what down. I can’t see she’s blocking my way. Oh, she wrote I’m a little teapot down. Mmmmmmm, I am looking for your inner flower. Mmmmmmmmm. Oh no, it’s a weed! I’m Cinderella. Something about Cinderelle. AB and JH FOREVER!
Marec: Nooooo!
Mystery speaker: Ha, that doesn’t make sense. Your half of the conversation.
Marec: THAT’S NOT FAIR!
Mystery speaker: Make sure you (she) put that down. Don’t put that down! Alyssa likes blue. Bekki likes green. Me like purple. Melissa likes black. Black, Black.
Marec: Huh?
Mystery speaker: What!? She doesn’t like black.
Marec: I’m calling this “The Telephone Conversation From Hell!!!!”
Mystery speaker: I’m so happy! Huh? Huh? Huh? Weeeeeee Plop Weeeeeee Plop! Tada! It’s the end!
Marec: Bye mom. See ya. Probably.
Raven: Guys! You’re finally home! This is your older brother Marec.
Destini: Older brother? But I’m the oldest!
Raven: No, you’re not. Marec is. Your father disowned him from the family when you were little.
Marec: Hi. Destini, Hunter, Seth, Grave, Zane, Cera, Asia, Daniel, Symphony, and Aurelia.
Destini: Hi. Are you really my older brother?
Marec: Yeah. Weird isn’t it?
Destini: Yup. So I finally get an older brother. How long are you going to stay?
Marec: Ummm…I’m staying til the next party.
Destini: That long? Wow. The next party is 3 months from now.
Marec: Yeah, isn’t it? Well, I’ve got to go to my room now.
Destini: I’ll show you where our guest room is. Come on.
Raven: Great, now what?
Raven: (Three months later…)
Raven: I’ve invited Dad and Mom, Jak and Kassandra, Liana Templar and Jay, Taylor and Zada, and Valentyna and Thane Page. Dad said he was going to bring two of his friends from the Fields, and then there’s all the kids, us and our kids, and I’m pretty sure Dad and Mom have had some kids while they were away…
Lance: They had more kids? How many are they planning to have? A million? Thirty? Fifty?
Raven: I don’t know. Since you can’t age here I guess you can have as many as you want, unless you’re incinerated. I think he said they had ten more kids. Their oldest should be about Marec’s age…
Lance: Where is Marec anyway? He should be helping us plan the party. After all, if he’s planning to invite anyone he should tell us…
Marec: Hey, mom, dad, I’m inviting some of my friends!
Raven: How many? We need to know!
Marec: Um…there’s Jason Gateman, Susan Xander, Alyssa DiCaprio, Callisto Valance, Jonathan Vane, Stephan Hunt, Kama DeMura, Jennifer Bryner, Jacinth Bryner, Dal Claudius, Jeff Johnson, Adam Strife, Skye Highwind, Ash Redfire, Gabriel Night, Rapheal Aquinus, Chris Harman, Quinn Fields, Ice Redfire, Maple Redfire, Jade Redfire, Kestral Redfire, Selena Birch, Michaela Birch, Jason Birch, Peter Birch, James Birch, Alex Alexander, Aylith Gaen, Dawn Horizon, Cleo Croft, Maeve Haven, Raksha Dawon, Aeris Gainsbourgh, Dove Poet, Amanda Webb, Marcus Ezekiel, Galen Draco, Luke Shaylyn, and Wynter Shaylyn. That makes 40.
Lance: That’s a few of his friends?
Raven: He must be very popular. When you were that handsome and unmarried weren’t you popular?
Lance: That’s a very good point. I was really handsome before. Not that I’m not handsome anymore, it’s just that now I’m married.
Marec: Oh, Dad, a threat came in the mail saying that Grandfather is going to kill you!
Lance: What!?
Raven: Dad never did like you very much. But I never expected this!
Lance: Great. Just great. Now I’m going to die!
Raven: (That was a month ago. Lance was killed by a sniper named James Raven and his accomplice Illura Harman-Raven. James and Illura were Jack’s “friends.” And it turned out that Jak and I were adopted from James and Illura, who were our real parents. They were arrested the next day, and the van they were taken away in was in a horrible accident. James supposedly died, but Illura survived. Other than that the party was great. I miss Lance sometimes but I’ve married his brother, Chase Lite-Strom. Jack and Rose’s new children are Leonardo 20, Kate 20, Blake 18, Zara 16, Page 14, Eric 12, Storm 11, Destyny 11, and Zachary 10. Many of the children of the Dawson family married, such as Jay Dawson and Liana Templar, Kate Dawson and Jason Gateman, Blake Dawson and Susan Xander, Leonardo Dawson and Alyssa DiCaprio, Matt Dawson and Kama DeMura, Marec Dawson and Callisto Valance, Sara Dawson and Stephan Hunt, James Dawson and Jennifer Bryner, Jake Dawson and Aylith Gaen, Celestyne Dawson and Chris Harman, Gavyn Dawson and Dawn Horizon, Stephany Dawson and Jonathan Vane, Devon Dawson and Cleo Croft, Hazel Page and Dal Claudius, Klymestra Page and Jacinth Bryner, Jaylene Page and Jeff Johnson, Hunter Lite-Strom and Maeve Haven, Destini Lite-Strom and Adam Strife, Seth Lite-Strom and Raksha Dawon, Grave Lite-Strom and Dove Poet, Zane Lite-Strom and Wynter Shaylyn, Cera Lite-Strom and Skye Highwind, and Zara Dawson and Alex Alexander. Even my real mother remarried. She married a man named Jonathan Vance. How she met him is a whole different story. I later moved to the Fields with my parents, Chase, and all my brothers and sisters who also retired (except Jay and Liana). And as far as I know, each of the new families lived happily ever after…or so we hope…)
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