1. You have a container full of Kim-Chee in your fridge right now.
2. You own a pair of BYC socks.
3. You or your parents start singing when drunk.
4. Your parents are shorter than you.
5. You call a korean older than you “Oppa/Hyung” or “Un Nee/Nuna”
6. Your parents think church is a social event.
7. You know the “San-Toki” song.
8. “No-Rae-Bang” is a common household word.
9. Your main source of income is New Years.
10. Everyone asks if you’re Chinese.
11. Your parents think anything goes with rice.
12. “Glue? Use rice, it’s better!”
13. You or your parents have eaten household pets.
14. Your parents have never kissed you.
15. Your parents have never kissed each other.
16. Your parents still think they can spank you, even when you moved out.
17. Failing a class means finding a new place to live.
18. You have naked baby pictures of you.
19. Your mom rents korean soap operas and watches them daily.
20. You read the labels of everything to see if it was made in Korea.
21. When you were little, relatives used to grab your genitals. Some still try.
22. Sleeping on the floor is nothing new to you.
23. You live or used to live with your “hal-mo-ni”.
24. Your parents yell your korean name REAL loud in public places.
25. No matter how hard they try, your parents will never pronounce “wood” correctly.
26. You think “Ramen” is the fifth food group.
27. You have to translate for your parents when ordering fast food.
28. Your parents are afraid of black people.
29. Your family owns a dry cleaning place, liquor store, or grocery store.
30. You have “Bori’Cha” in your fridge right now.
31. At least one member of your family wears black wire/plastic glasses.
32. You typically cheer for the Asian athletes (ie: Michelle Kwan, Chan Ho Park, Se Ri Park)
33. Your mother has a short haired, curly perm.
34. Your parents still tried to get you into places half-price saying your 12 when your really 14.
35. You ask your parents help on your math homework and 2 hours later they’re still lecturing you about how they knew it in 4th grade.
36. You have a 40 lb. Bag of rice in your pantry.
37. Everyone thinks your “Chinese” no matter what part of Asia your ancestors were from.
38. You’ve had a bowl haircut in one part in your life.
39. Your parents enjoy comparing you to their friends’ kids.
40. When you say something about them, they say, “Don’t compare”.
41. You’ve had to sit through karaoke videos with ugly asian women attempting to dance in a temple, park, etc.
42. Your parents say, “don’t forget your heritage” after they’ve moved to another country 20 years ago.
43. You’ve had to eat parts of animals they don’t even put in hotdogs.
44. Piles of shoes tend to make it hard to open the front, back, and closet doors.
45. You hear (your name + eee (optional) + yah!) every time someone calls you.
46. You have NO eyelashes.
47. Idiot people try to impress you with pathetic imitations of Asian languages.
48. Your parents say leaving rice in the bowl is a sin.
49. The bio lecture on marine life (seaweed, octopus, sea cucumbers) was last night’s dinner.
50. Your ancestors 1000 generations’ back invented the back scratcher.
51. Your parents hover over your tired, caffeine-drugged body at 12 midnight to say, “I took this when I was 13.”
52. Your parents say Calculus? I took that in eighth grade!”
53. Everyone thinks your good at math.
54. Your parents’ vocabulary is filled with “Ai-Yahs and Wahs”
55. You like 1.75 movies.
56. You like 1.50 movies even more.
57. Your aunts and uncles bring you back adorable clothing from Asia with fuzzy bunny T-shirts that doesn’t fit your gender.
58. Your parents insist you marry within your race.
59. You learned about the birds and the bees other than your parents.
60. “You want a stereo! When I was your age, I didn’t even have shoes!”
61. People see a bunch of scribble on chopsticks and ask you to translate.
62. If you don’t get a math problem, your parents take out the wooden stick.
63. At expensive restaurants, you order a delicious glass of water for your beverage.
64. You don’t understand why your parents practically try to fight over the bill.
65. Your parents simply cut off the green/black part off the bread and say “Eat it anyway, it’s good for you.”
66. Your parents have either forced you to play the piano, violin, or both.
67. You get nothing when you do good at school, but crapped on if you don’t.
68. When going to another person’s house, you always have to bring a gift. (usually a fruit that is ripe this season.)
69. Your dad still pulls his socks to his knees, you know, the ones with the blue stripes.
70. You have rocks, sticks, leaves, deer antlers, and other strange smelling substances for medicine.
71. You own a rice cooker or two.
72. You buy soy sauce by the gallon.
73. Your parents tell you about how long it took for them to get to school, how horrifying the snow trip was…..
74. Your parents buy you clothes and shoes many sizes too big so you can “grow into them”.
75. Your parents read about some super nerd who has no life and got in the paper for scoring highest in the SAT’s and says why you can’t be more like him.
76. You don't smile because your eyes will disappear.
77. You prefer to keep your shoes off to let your feet breathe.
78. When your american friends open the fridge, they step back ten feet because of the "Kim-Chee" smell.
79. When you wear a backpack, shorts, sunglasses, some fruity cap, and walk around some famous area, people think you're a tourist.
80. You know what K.P. is.