So you might be sitting here, thinking that I’m just not very nice. Well you know what, I KNOW that I’m not very nice. You either like me or you hate me. And this section of my webpage can greatly be dedicated to my boyfriend. No, not because he is retarded by any means. Only because he suggested it. So if you have any comments, complaints or praise, please send email to him about it. His email address is –

Wait a minute here. I don’t think so. . . Just keep your God damned comments to yourself.

DISCLAIMER – I have cousins who are mentally handicapped. In no way, shape or form is this pertaining to them – just to the rest of society whom I can not even bare to even think about.

I wish I was mentally retarded. And so then the next question I get asked is, “why?”. Let me tell you why. Just think about it. If you are mentally handicapped, mentally challenged, a retard, or whatever else you’d like to call it – you are actually considered, “special”. Then again, “everybody is special”, right? Haha yeah right. Don’t you ever recall those times where your parents would sit you down and actually tell you that yes, you are indeed special? We’ll take that as an example. What exactly does that mean when you are considered, “special”? You have nothing special about you that neither I nor the person sitting next to you possesses that may be different. Take that into consideration my friend. You are NOT special.

We have a student in our school that has probably been there for awhile. I have no idea how old this kid is. But to protect him in any means, we’ll just call him Bill. (yes, the name has been changed) Well anyway, Bill has some sort of problem. Bill can entertain you for hours. Bill is also very talented. However, Bill is very very special. And so you ask me, “what makes Bill more special than me?” Let me answer that – Bill is part of what we call, “The Special People Society”. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, kids of all ages – Bill is mentally handicapped in some way or another. And how do we know that? We know that because it appears that Bill has some kind of Tourettes Syndrome going on. I don’t even know if I spelled that right or not.

Let me use a scenario here. I’ll use you as an example. Lets say you’re at your locker at school, you shut your locker door, lock it up, and start walking down the hallway towards your next class. Instantly you are greeted by a kid standing in the middle of the hallway, playing his air guitar, singing along to the Backstreet Boys, “It’s Gonna Be Me”. (even though his favorite band is Oasis – I’ve asked him on numerous accounts) What would your reaction to that be? As you take a longer look, you realize that not only is he singing that one old time favorite hit we all like to sing in the shower, yet what is it that he appears to be doing? Oh Jeeeesus – he’s headbanging. Yes folks, Bill is headbanging. As you walk on by, trying to get through, he makes it a point to hug you and repeat every single word you say – in the exact tone. This may come as a somewhat shock to you at first – but hey, it’s only Bill. He does no harm. Along with Bill’s guitar that he plays (of course – air guitar) he also has a violin that he gets out once in awhile for shits and giggles. (again, of course – an air violin) I tend to steer more towards the violin’s side – I feel it has a more classical sound as Bill sings Christina Aguilara’s, “Come On Over” and puts in pieces with the violin. Then again, that’s just my opinion.

Now, can’t you see? Bill is special. I, for one – am NOT special. And how do I figure? Let me argue this point again. Bill can stand there, play his air guitar, sing his heart out in the middle of the lunch room, and shout obscenities and do obscene gestures with his hands and never ever be considered a, “mole” into society. (yes, we’ve all taught Bill how to do the male, “I-wanna-eat-you-out” sign with his fingers and tongue) So now I can honestly prove my point here – Bill CAN do that and nobody will ever think anything of it. If I ever just went up to some girl in the lunchroom and did the, “I-Wanna-Eat-You-Out” sign like Bill does, I would probably get slapped. Bill gets giggled at. Jack gets slapped. Bill gets giggled at. Jack gets slapped. Catch my drift? However, Bill can do whatever he damn well pleases because – YES YOU GUESSED IT – Bill is mentally handicapped in some way, shape or form. (we just haven’t figured out in which way)

I hope you see my point here. I want to be mentally handicapped. I want to shout out obscenities, I want to make disgusting gestures, I want to itch my ear whenever I feel like it at any time, I want to curl my fingers in the upward motion towards my face. And most of all – I want to be special.

Thank you for your patience while reading this. This has been the production of, “MY OPINION ONLY” and if you don’t feel the same way, or if you just don’t get what I’m saying all together – then F*CK you. (I’m not all that mean – I won’t write the whole entire word… but you get my point)