Q:Dear Lee,
Why would anyone in his right mind allow a dog into his house? I need a politcally correct answer that will not get me in trouble.
~Dad
A:Dear Dad,
A number of possibilities exist as to why anyone in his right mind may allow a dog, or Family Entertainment Engineer (FEE: a wholly PC term), into his house. This column will focus on three of these: (1) As the term "dog" often refers to a homely individual, the FEE may be mistaken for my imaginary, ugly girlfriend (see July 6, 2002 in the "Life's Little Advice" Archive). Not wanting to turn away an actual human, he may take in the creature. (2) The homeowner in question may mistake the FEE for a fee, assuming that if left unattended, it will affect his credit history for up to seven years. (3) On occasion, FEEs are used for various activities important to the livelihood of the owner (hunting, babysitting former college rommates' wives, attacking intruders, scaring boys the same age as a daughter, testing cosmetics, etc.). So, as you can see, allowing a FEE into the house may, in fact, prove a useful investment.
~Lee
"Life's Little Advice" Archive