| Title: Go away, I'm trying to study myself to death. (Part
2) Time: Friday, April 9, 2004 The Thespians: Elijah Cruise, Lien Nguyen, Sukaku Karasuno and Pascal Curio Location: Allis Memorial Center - Library Notes: I have come to a realization about the future... except I won't say more than that. :) |
+---[ Allis Memorial Center - Library ]--------------------------------------+ | | | An immense area stretches out both upwards and horizontally. Squarely | | shaped, the library is carpeted in speckled blue and gray, except for a | | five-foot strip extending around the walls, which has been tiled in | | reddish tan and light russet squares. In these areas shelves reach upwards | | to thirty feet overhead, spaced apart by long, one-foot wide windows. | | Periodically a large wooden ladder is visible, should one wish to risk | | their neck for one of the dusty volumes perched so high. Occupying a space | | near the front wall of about twenty square feet abound round oak tables, | | supported by four thin legs and surrounded by chairs with blue cushions. | | The rest of the room holds what must be hundreds of bookcases, all packed | | with books of old and new, various sorts separated into labeled cases and | | those placed in similar sections. | | | +----------------------------------------------------------------------------+ |
| Sukaku Karasuno is perched on a bookshelf. Yes, a bookshelf. Why? So as to have a good seat. How he knew to be here, let alone on a bookshelf, we may never know . . . we'll blame one of those dramatic anime poses. He's quiet, though, not attempting to attract attention. Idiots . . . he warned them. She's close to snapping, and he won't blame her if she does. |
| "Oh, I'm sure you want to hear it, Lien," Pascal's not going to take no for an answer anyway. She looks down at her paper, thus hiding her face and her grin due to Elijah's diagnosis. "Quite right, Cruise, quite right." She finally looks up from the paper, but she's still struggling to keep that smile away and to keep her face serious. "Do you realize the seriousness of this, Lien? Of your... people-pleasing-naive-nerditis?" She can hardly say that without almost bursting out into laughter. She doesn't even wait for a response from Lien, slapping her pile of papers back down onto the table (again, more attention drawn to them). Leaning close to Lien again, Pascal stares at her rather intently. "You're going crazy Lien," she says, her words a rather loud, hissed, whisper. "Crazy." That's right, she's egging Lien on to snap. |
| Breathe. Just breathe. Pascal's playing Lien like a fiddle, though. She can't keep this up much longer. Removing her glasses and setting them on the table, she rubs her eyes. She definitely doesn't want to start -crying- or anything in front of these two, but there was already all this stress... "Maybe I am," says the child, very quietly. She replaces her glasses and gives Pascal the most sincere smile she can muster. "Thanks." She tries to make it sound like she really DOES appreciate the diagnosis... not that she's a wonderful actress, or anything. But at least she's not shouting! |
| Truth be known, Elijah lives for this. Pushing people to the edge and seeing if they lose it. And seeing what happens to them when they lose it (whether it destroys them or they can move on). In short, Eli is a bully. "There is no way to make all of the people in the world happy. NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN. You can't please that strange mother of yours, and the Professors all at once." Unfortunately for Lien, Eli met her mom at the bank before school began this year, and the boy's memory is very good long term. "Face it, the perfection they expect from you stresses you to know end." His features sink into a somewhat sullen expression, "But the perfection they expect from you is /nothing/ like the perfection you expect from yourself. You are the one who will push yourself beyond the border of sanity into complete insanity." He narrows his eyes, "You are the one who is making you lose your mind. Not them." |
| Golden eyes peer at Elijah, narrowed slightly, ears attempting to catch the words. What could this mean? This was not like the Elijah of before. What were they planning, baiting Lien in this way . . . ? His gaze flickered to Lien, then to Pascal, fingertips whitening with pressure on the bookshelf surface. (Sukaku) |
| The truth really sucks, but at least Lien has people like Eli and Pascal too be the bearers of the horrible truth. But seeing as how it's Elijah and Pascal, it's not very likely that Lien will pay attention what they say. qPascal sits in silence as Elijah speaks his part, and she continues to chew on the end of her pen, nodding in agreement with everything that Elijah's saying to her. While her own voice is nothing as harsh as his own, she only has the same things to say to her. "Elijah's right, and that probably only makes it /that/ much worse, Lien." Pascal's voice is very steady right now and she removes the pen from her mouth to stare at the girl with the same steadiness. If only they /were/ baiting Lien, Sukaku. Maybe she is, maybe he is, maybe they're just bored. "You're in sixth grade. You look as if you're going to collapse any minute, and anything that anyone says, or does, is enough to almost make you snap." Though it's not as if Pascal really minds /that/ aspect; it makes her job easier. "You've got a long way to go." She pauses and narrows her eyes, her voice gaining a slight edge now. "Do you think you'll be able to do this for another six years?" |
| No. Elijah and Pascal are not allowed to be RIGHT! And they're certainly not allowed to read Lien's mind. If anything, this talk makes the child more uncomfortable than the taunting had. "Since when did either of you CARE?" Truth be told, the answer to Pascal's question is no, she doesn't think so, but she'd die before admitting it. "I was doing just fine until you two showed up." She's not making eye contact anymore. Instead, she's staring down at the cluttered tabletop. |
| "/Fine/. Don't listen. But this is one mess that your Billy in shining armor can't save you from. Only /you/ can help yourself." Elijah shrugs. "It's no skin off my chest. You do what you like. Become a crazy lady who lives with her cats because she can't keep up relationships due to her constant perfectionism." He narrows his eyes. "You think you're so perfect in your little world with your perfect little parents and perfect little grades at perfect little Scattergoods. Well, it'll all be gone someday. Gone." He stares at Lien. "You think your problems started when /we/ walked in the room? You're the one who hangs around Billy Asterik and Toby..." dramatic pause as Eli uses his most feminine voice "...Darling." He returns to his ordinary tone, and back to the topic at hand, "You're going to lose it. And when you do, you're going to regret it." It makes one wonder, did Eli regret it when he lost it? What exactly happened to him? |
| Get involved? Or don't get involved? In a great many ways Sukaku would find it very interesting if Lien were to snap. But aniki wouldn't like that, would he? He wouldn't like Sukaku to just sit by and watch this happen. Lien can handle herself, certainly, but against two of them, against this sort of mental onslaught? "Baka." The word comes unbidden before he even thinks, eyes narrowed at the group. "Keep going . . . and I swear I'll eat your cat." Cursed creature or not. Someone will hunt it for him. Inwardly he mutters at himself for doing this, but he's surprised somewhat to find that he means it as well. |
| Pascal lost it a long time ago, though what she regained was totally different, and is pretty much the person she is today. It's not pretty Lien, watch out. Her lips form into her standard dark smirk as Lien's exclamation reaches her ears. She makes no reference to it, using her UBER selective hearing to just ignore that caring part. "I'm going to say exactly what I just said before, Lien." She pauses herself just to run her hands through her hair, and cross her arms in front of her chest. After doing it for a whole month, she can't quite stop. "Elijah's right. You never answered my question either Lien. If you can tell me that you'll be able to do this for the next six years, without losing it all, your friends, your life, your health, everything, then I won't bother you again on this topic." She looks off at Elijah just to give him a little nod. She already knows the answer, but she just wants to hear it coming out of Lien's mouth. She doesn't particularly want her cat eaten, but the words come trailing out of her wouth before she even realizes they have company. "Oh. Look. Sukaku." |
| In your dreams, Pascal. Lien hasn't even managed to admit the answer to the question to herself--you're the last person she would talk to about it. So, no, she's not going to answer your question. In fact, she tries to act like she hasn't heard it at all, though she does shiver. Looks like Elijah's policy against hitting girls doesn't help much. But, oh, look, Sukaku! Lien can't help looking a little relieved, though the glance she sends him is more along the lines of, 'heeeeeeeeeelp!' |
| An eyebrow is raised at Sukaku. Not this weird kid /again/! At the mention of eating Pascal's cat, at the risk of being smacked by Pascal, Elijah mumbles, "Good riddens. Damned creatures, cats are." Then he glances at Sukaku again, "And what do /you/ care, anyways? Tell me, Sukaku, what have we said that isn't true?" Eli is thankful that Pascal said the character's name as he doesn't know it. He narrows his eyes, "Sometimes the truth hurts and people need to hear it despite the pain." Who burst Eli's bubble? Was he ever a 'naive' person? Despite the fact that Eli would /like/ to stick around, he can't, he had a class, "I gotta run. Class." He shrugs his shoulders and shakes his head, walking out of the library. |
| "I mean it, Pascal-san. I would. You know I would, and that I have the means." His eyes flick towards the departing Elijah . . . but he can deal with him later. You want the truth, Elijah? Sure. You can have it, certainly. All in due time. Meanwhile, it's Pascal on whom he focuses . . . who seems to be acting more . . . like herself today. Good. "Do you want me to regret having helped you?" he inquires, tone darkly-threaded. "Maybe that is what you want after all, for the world to regret you. I would not be surprised. It seems like you." This is not the normal Sukaku. This one . . . is actually angry. Whatever he cares, it's strong enough to get angry over. |
| Pascal makes sure to get Elijah back for that cat comment. She heard it alright, and as he passes she gives him a rather hard punch in the side. "Watch it, Elijah," she says to his retreating figure, and then returns her attention back to Lien and Sukaku, a large scowl curving her face as she's left behind with someone who undoubtedly will rally Lien's spirits to the point where she actually has to /work/ to not be outnumbered. "I never hinted that you wouldn't, or that you couldn't eat my cat, Sukaku," she replies evenly to the boy, slowly growing accustomed with the way to handle him. That and she's finding it rather interesting to have him riled up like this; maybe /he/ got switched or something. "Regret it if you wish, Sukaku, it happened and as soon as I figure a way to turn back time, I'll be sure to let you know, so you could have left me there to die." She cocks her head to the side to shake that sarcastic tone off. "Why don't you answer Elijah's question for me? What part of what we said wasn't true?" |
| Wow, right AGAIN, Pascal--Sukaku turning up is an entirely unexpected bit of luck for Lien. Now the WHOLE world isn't against her. (Granted, she'd be less encouraged had it been Billy or even Toby, but even so...) AND Elijah left... she'd be pleased, but the conversation still isn't fun, and... she's never seen Sukaku like this before. She's glad it's not at her that he's directing this new anger. |
| Ah, yes, Sukaku riled. Well, it isn't a frequent thing, to be certain. "Why don't you shut up?" he replies, sliding off the shelf to the ground below. "You have not earned any answers from me at the moment. If you truly want them, I shall discuss them when Lien-san is *not* present in great detail, but not now. As for the woods . . . I am certain you would have liked that, wouldn't you, Pascal-san? Left to die. You could throw your angst to the world then as a displaced ghost. But the truth? The truth if you want it is that you would rather soak in your own angst than live. Wallow. Until it kills you." |
| "You /enjoy/ lording over me, Sukaku," Pascal begins in a very quiet tone, leaning back in her chair and examining her fingernails carefully (palm facing away first, and then fingers curled in). "You enjoy doing the exact same thing to me that you accuse me of doing to Lien." Except Lien is luckier and has friends who will stuck up for her. She pauses and tilts her head to the side and her tone has grown louder and more sarcastic. "Yes, I /love/ to soak in my own angst. I /love/ to tell the world that I have suffered and that they must suffer as well." She scoffs bitterly and spits out, "You /don't/ know me, but that's just the way you'd want it." A pause, and the conversation shifts again. "I hope you're serious about answers, Sukaku, because you /know/ I will seek you out for them." Of course, having said this, it will be rather hard to make sure Lien's not around and snooping. It appears that Lien's been ignored for a little while, and so finally, in an effort to get Sukaku's words out of her mind, Pascal turns to Lien, and her tone is noticeably softer, either because of Elijah's departure or Sukaku's arrival. "Don't you have anything to say, Lien?" |
| "No." Softer doesn't much impress Lien--not after all the conversation before this. That's not forgiven yet. It wasn't fun. Let Pascal have a taste of her own medicine. And then there's Sukaku and his... answers. He'd be serious about that. She's seen it before. It must be some Japanese honor thing, or something. "No, I don't." |
| "Yes," Sukaku replies, completely somber. "Yes, I enjoy it. I enjoy it, I admit, if this pleases you, this lording over you. I enjoy seeing you weak and stupid as I enjoy seeing *any* human weak and stupid. But you make it so easy, too. You leave yourself open to every attack with your self-loathing, with your idiotic hate for everything except that cat and making your own hatred spread. If you hate, if you are angry, why should the world not be the same? You are not strong, Pascal-san. Not at all. In fact, you are very weak. Seek me out for answers if you wish . . . but do not be afraid of my answers." A quick glance at Lien, then a slight shrug. "I might have liked to know you . . . but I don't want to know this person you are now. You disgust me." And if that last part doesn't please her . . . well, let her deal with it. |
| Role-reversal is a bitch, and yes Lien, qPascal is getting a taste of her own medicine, though being four years older than Lien, Pascal's more inclined to be better at hiding her emotions. And so she is, sitting there with a stony expression on her face while Sukaku continues to lecture her. Again, she examines her fingernails, and for once her hands aren't even white. This wouldn't be the first time that Pascal has heard something of this calibre, but the number of times probably won't ever lessen the blow that it takes to a person's ego. She looks up from her fingernails to stare steadily first at Lien, and then at Sukaku, eyes glittering. "I'm sorry I don't please you then," she says finally, though still defiantly. "Next time Lien looks like she's going to have a nervous breakdown, I'll be sure to stand idly by while she does. God /fucking/ forbid I say something to hurt her /poor/ feelings, rather then tell her what she should be hearing." Are you going to be there to guard Lien for the rest of her life, Sukaku? |
| Now that's going just a little bit to far, Lien thinks. "That's NOT what you were doing!" Oh, look, /now/ she's got something to say. "You... you just sit there pretending you CARE when it's good for you, but that's not... all you wanted..." Twitch. All she wanted was to make fun of Lien or make her miserable or something, but YOU try saying that and not sounding bitter and pathetic! |
| "You are not Lien-san." Sukaku replies to this with great gravity. "You are not her conscience. You are not her soul. It is not your job to tell her what she may or may not need to hear. This is not a friend. I may be foolish in human ways, but I do understand this." Does he know he's hit something? His face says nothing, though judging from the swear words, he might be onto a nerve. For a few moments he is silent. "This Pascal-san does not please me," he says at last. "But a Pascal-san that I met not so very long ago I would be very interested to know and understand. As I try to know and to understand Lien. But if that Pascal-san is not interested . . . what can I do? Just keep this one away from Lien-san. You do her no favors." |
| Pascal's eyes have glazed off, but she's still listening, kind of. Actually, she's recalling a conversation she had with Lien a while back, after that little forest incident and meeting Sukaku. She slowly pushes up from her chair as her eyes clear back up and she stares down at the two small children sitting in front of her, one with a mental age that's clearly at least three or four generations ahead of her own. "If Lien hasn't forgotten, I've told her before. I didn't ask for friends. I don't ask for and I don't care for people caring about me, so she wasn't going to find that reciprocated on my end." Ain't that the truth. Her voice isn't sad; it's deflated. She's always deflated whenever Sukaku decides to rear his head, dammit. Again, Pascal opens her mouth as if she's going to explain something, but then closes it rather abruptly. She's gone a little too far to even explain her actions and she realizes that if her true nature were revealed, they probably wouldn't believe her anyway. Forcing a light note to her voice, however, Pascal gives both Sukaku and Lien a deep nod. "I'm just too much angst for you to even want to understand Sukaku," she says, voice devoid of emotion, actually admitting his 'truth' to him (is there a point in lying, really?). "No 'Pascal-san' you've met you'd want to know or understand, Sukaku. They're all related and eventually you'd find one that would disgust you more than this one does right now." Her lips press in a tight line and twitch. The look that Pascal gives Lien is a strange; she's never had that expression on her face. "You study too much." Now, either having somewhere to go, or having taken enough mental beating herself, and knowing when to talk away, Pascal retreats from the library, heading down the hallway and disappearing down a flight of stairs. |
| And, there goes Pascal making Lien have second thoughts all over again. Dang, but it's hard being nice. (Yes, it's Pascal insisting that she doesn't need friends that convinces Lien that she does. Of course.) She watches Pascal leave, and her expression is a rather odd too. When she's gone, though, the younger girl turns back and slouches wearily in her chair. "Thanks," she says to Sukaku. |
| Sukaku Karasuno watches Pascal go without much further expression, then nods slightly to Lien. "I am sorry . . . Certainly you could have handled your own battle. But . . . aniki would be upset." And yes, that's the only reason he did it. Sure. Back to emotionaless Sukaku, version 1.0. |
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