On The Safe Edge
The following excerpt was taken from the book "On The Safe Edge"
written by Trevor Jaques and published by WholeSM Publishing. By far
one of the best books available today on BDSM and it's inner workings.
Highly recommended by BDSM Eroticism as a must read.
Most sessions or scenes will provide stimuli to the brain of both the top
and bottom at such speeds that the conscious mind will rarely be able to
perform an analysis of it at the time. Nor is anyone likely to want to at
the time either; because were usually to far engrossed in the fun we're having.
When we play, we have to provide some kind of feed-back to our partner about
what really turns us on, so that we can have the best scene possible.
This may be done consciously or unconsciously. As two people get to know
each other better, the cues passing between them become more easily read
and, possibly, more subtle.
A couple might become like a soloist playing an instrument: the Top is a
highly skilled musician able to exact the most exquisite music from the favorite
instrument, the Bottom. Doubtless there is potential for the reverse to be
true; in the case of the dominant bottom, for example. The cues and responses
between the two become smooth, subconscious flows of energy. This is when
the really exciting scenes take place.
What will be discussed here is the various types of cues, stimulation's and
winding downs and how all this can affect both the Top and Bottom within
the scene.
CUE
One way to make sure a scene or session continues as long as it possibly
can and for as long as you both have time and the energy is to ensure that
the stimulation comes when the bottom is ready. To do this the top must be
able to very accurately read the bottom, his or her movements, sighs and
groans and so forth, while observing for the next cue that he or she is ready
for the next stimulation. There are several types of cues and they are as
follows.
Aural Cue
This may be a verbal cue such as a sigh, humming... and so on in which the
Top will hear and know that the bottom is ready for the next stimulation.
It also helps if the top can give some form of cue to let the bottom know
that the next stimulation is coming which also adds the element of anticipation
to the session.
Visual Cue
The bottom may give a cue that may be seen such as a body movement or jerking
motion that he or she is ready.. much like the bottom who raises their bottom
towards you for you to spank and then once the spank has been received recoils
and then moves back outward again signifying readiness for another.
Tactile Cue
If the session involves physical touch then the cue could be stroking a certain
area of the body from either indicating readiness for the next stimulation.
A gentle touch can work wonders in creating anticipation in the other.
Stimulation
Once the cue has been given by either, the stimulation itself then occurs.
This is the part of the session that most people associate with SM. There
is no particular reason for this stimulation to involve pain, however. A
feather is a particularly effective way to torture someone. There are many
forms of stimulation and I am sure many will want to explore them all so
this section will leave that to you to discover.
Assimilation
Once the stimulus has been given, the bottom will need time to deal with
it, understand what it was, and how he/she feels about it. This process will
vary considerably depending on the type of stimulation and the person involved.
The assimilation period may be instantaneous, or take a while longer. Once
the assimilation process is complete the bottom with then need to recover
from the stimulus. Granted if you are doing a paddling, the time it takes
for the bottom to assimilate will most liked be instant, being that it is
the pain he or she feels and enjoys, but the recovery period depending on
intensity could take a bit longer. Then, when all has returned, the bottom
will then signal or cue the Top he or she is ready for the next stimulus.
Peaking
As the scene begins things are most like to go slowly, delicately increasing
in intensity until you both have reach your peaks. As important as it was
in how you reached this peak it is important that you come down in a safe
manner as well. Slowly decreasing the intensity of the session and bringing
the bottom down helps in this in that the bottoms senses processing do not
overload from excess or sudden lack of information to process.