Memories
©widget
Dec. 2002
Looking back now, with a small smirk on my face
as I sip on my cognac trying to look attentive at my next client knowing
exactly what he needed the minute he walked into my sitting room and sat
down. I will have him work with Bridgett she will have him on his knees
begging in no time flat. These men think that they are unreadable and
that they say one thing but really want something else. I can spot
these men in a minute flat. I haven’t gotten to be the madam of the
most exclusive bodeiur by just laying on my back. I move a cooper curl that’s
seemed to fall out of place. Lord how my life has taken so many twist
and turns. From naïve child to wife then to this, chuckling to
myself at the retrospect I rise straightening my pleats in my gown I pick
a Bell off the table and ring the door opens I tell the maid that I need
Bridget to come here. The maid curtseys and closes the door.
I turn to this client and said Bridget will surpass any thing that he could
imagine. A small rap on the door then Bridget enters the room “Madam
summoned me” I reply coolly “Yes child this gentleman is here for your assistance”
A bright twinkle enters her eyes, for she knows perfectly well what I am
talking about. I have learned a long time ago that looks are deceiving
take Bridget for instance she looks like the perfect little girl who anyone
can take control of. Her slight frame and rustic brown hair only those
large innocent looking Green eyes really hold the woman with the will of
steel who no man could master unless she wanted. Bridget curtsey and they
walk out the door.
Ah, to be young again, I sit back down thanking the heavens that he was the
last client I needed to see tonight. I summon my maid to draw me a
bath I was ready to give up this night for some well deserve sleep.
My thought s is interrupted by a sudden Scream of pain. Ah Bridget
must be at work. I chuckle as I am assisted in undressing and I slip into
the hot water sinking down to my chin the warmth engulfs me and my stress
seems to fly away. Opening my eyes I look to see Charles standing over me
with a smile. A little one long day, shall I help you relax some more?
His look becomes sterner. How is it that he can read my mind so well
and know exactly what I need? That will be the question for the ages
in which I really don’t need an answer for. H e hands me a towel and
leaves as I am drying off I don’t bother putting on a robe it would be coming
off in moments anyway. I see Charles on the edge of the bed with a
pillow on his lap he looks up at me with a raised eyebrow his shirt has already
been removed he looks down onto his lap. I am unsure of what he is
going to use this time due to both of his hands are at his side and the folds
from the bed covers are just so.
I let the towel drop to the floor as I walk to him and lay across his lap
the pillow raises my ass for better leverage. He shifts for a second
I can feel his cool hand caressing my warm cheeks seeming to mapping his
route of attack with his fingertips. He takes his time feeling his
way around each mold, crease and crevasse. In frustration I want to
yell out Start. But, I have learned he will take longer then normal
just to agitate me further. Men always need to believe they have the upper
hand or think they do. All right then, Sir will you spank me please.
This normally is the cue that works and does. I feel the first blow
come down on my unprotected skin. It never fails no matter how many
times it happens that first one takes my breath away. Like a true artist
Charles strikes my ass with rhythm that would surpass all not one area of
my cheeks is not burning. He stops suddenly and start playing with my mound
to make sure that he will have the desire effects I squirm a bit while he’s
spanking me but when he does that I am ready to jump. His hand holds
me down tightly on my hip once he is sure I am exactly at the point where
he wants me he resumes bombarding my now very hot ass with a new toy ah even
through my screams I can feel the heat pulsating through my groin every stinging
blow brings me closer to the sky. Until that moment oh, that moment when
the earth and the stars collide into one, I am no longer able to breath think
or move. He lifts me off his lap and carries me to the bed, laying
me down gently he precedes to undress and join me. As I drift off to
sleep in his arms my mind wonders back to that fateful night that started
me on this road. I believe the nuns would be shocked at what they help
produced. I am not going to give them all the credit that would be
just plain sinful but they did start me down this road so they are going
to get the initial credit.
Chapter 1.
The wind was howling through the bare trees, dead leaves dance around
and whisk around my face. The weather be damned as I pull my clock
closer to me, I will not let anything else bother me as I stumble over one
of the many holes that lines this ill lit pathway. I refuse to give in to
the world around me anymore. Let it dump a full storm on me I don’t
care as I wipe away a tear from my cheek. I will get back to sanctuary prior
to bed check. I am not going to be kneeling in the chapel for 6 hours
for penitence. My knees still ache from my last discretion. I
have had enough this night. I was woken up from a deep slumber just
to be jilted from the man I thought loved me. What makes it worse he
left me for the sniveling nose brat Jennifer. So what if she has the
silky gold hair, and cobalt blue eyes and those damnable poutie lips.
Wiping another tear away in disgust. I open the door to enter quiet
halls of the dormitory instead I walk right into Sister Elizabeth.
In shock I quickly excuse myself rubbing my hands together trying warm them
a bit. Before she has the chance of inquiring why I was out.
I add that I couldn’t sleep and was walking around the courtyard. I
can see the chapel’s hard wood floor now with me kneeling on them again.
Looking over her shoulder just inside the main chamber I see someone a bit
smarter than me who took the side door instead of going right to the front
and marching in. I am such a creature habit. She is running up the
stairs to safety, while I am looking for at least a whole day in the chapel.
Now why didn’t I do that?
Praying that I am getting at least one reprieve for this
night, Sister Elizabeth steps aside while shaking her head so that I can
pass. I go directly to my room closing the door behind me. I sink on the
bed and progressively cry my eyes out. I spent a lot of energy and
tears on this night, sleep is more of what I need instead of this damnable
crying. All I would have to show for it is bloodshot eyes and dark
circles when I have to get up at the crack of dawn. With a newfound
courage I decide enough is enough and change quickly to ultimately find some
solace in most welcoming sleep. I am almost lost in my slumber when
the door opening woke me up. I sit straight up as one Sister walk in.
Shocked, I demand what the problem was? It is surprising how much gall one
has when abruptly woken. It has been over a full two hours since
my run in with Sister Elizabeth. So much for an answer to a prayer
for this night, she answers coolly that my presence is required at Mother
Superior office. I am sure now that my greatest sin is that I cannot
keep a civil tongue. If I had, I wouldn’t be hustled out at this time
of night with just my cloak and slippers for warmth. Oh good see what
my attitude has gotten me, not only will I be suffering the next day of lack
of sleep I will be half frozen too.
The walk across the courtyard was silent, other than the howl of the wind
and the rustle of the leaves with the threat of imamate snow to come. As
we step into the administrative building the sounds of high pitch yelling
echo through what should be a silent hall. A cold shiver ran down my
spine and it definitely not from being cold. Though I tried to ask
the Sister what could anyone have done to deserve such punishment.
All I was told to have a seat as I am shuffled into the office, and the Mother
Superior would be with me shortly. When the door shut the cries were
more muffled yet it is still like a soulful animal in a lot of pain.
The door open slowly to the office and Mother Superior
entering the room, looking at me as though she could read my very soul I
look down to the dark wood stained floor not daring to look into those all
knowing eyes. Mustering the courage I look up at her and asked what
was the problem? Why was I pulled out of bed, attempting to sound brave.
The question I knew was coming came in a calm voice. I gave the same
response I gave to Sister Elizabeth. I didn’t want to be too elaborate.
If you are going to lie keep it as close to the truth. The Mother Superior
reaches into her habit and pulls out the note that brought me out into the
night in the first place. Oh god I threw that note into his face crumpled
and crunched the note that brought me to this. I start to cry.
The Mother Superior stood there none sympathetic as I told the truth of what
occurred. I was more than willing to take the penitence, anything than
have her eyes search my soul. I was rambling on I hadn’t notice that
one of the novices walked in and was talking to the Mother Superior. Without
a word or look she methodically turned around and walked out of the room
with the sister closing the door firmly behind her. The butterflies within
my stomach have now decided to do the waltz banging every way they could.
Time moving at a snails pace now I stand in front of Mother Superiors Desk
refusing to move or sit even to breath. The fear that if I did any
of the above would cause the earth to open up and swallow me whole, the building
is deadly silent other than ticks of the old clock in the hall. The
clock start chiming out the 12th hour as the door opened, I turn around hopefully
to a sympathetic eye recognizing Sister Elizabeth walking in with her eyes
down cast and fingers fumbling with her rosary. She motions
me to the door, stepping out she moves in front of me and I follow her down
the empty hallway and down 3 flights of stairs to the basement.
The candlelight isn’t sufficient to light the way for me to see, so I keep
myself very close to her she opens up a cell with that has just a cot and
a small table that has a pitcher and basin. I am left alone with only
the small candle flickering on the shaky small table. I carefully pick
up the candle and survey my surrounding it’s a small room with only one very
small window at least ten feet above the floor. Walking to the check
the large wooden door that is only four feet away. I check the knob
to see if it will open tentatively I didn’t expect that it would. I wasn’t
disappointed.
I return to the cot and carefully place the one source of comfort back
on the table and kneel in front of the bed on the hard dirt floor ready to
do my prayers quickly I shift to remove probably one of many stones that
scatter this place. Some sleep hopefully tomorrow someone would
tell me what was going to be the extent of my punishment.
I pull the cover off the bed actually thanking the lord that there
was only just a smidgen of light. I know I would never get any sleep
if I saw something run across the bed. I bend to blow out the tiny
flame and get settle into hopefully some sleep. The door swings open
I am at first blinded by the lantern and cannot see who is walking in the
door, but once my eyes adjust I see it’s the Mother Superior and 2 other
nuns. They motion for me to stand in the middle of the room, they won’t
look me in the eyes or talking to me everything is a quick motion of the
hand or a nod of the head. Once they have my position just where they
want me the Mother superior in front with the two sisters to either side.
Not really wanting to know and wishing I could turn back time to where I
was safe in my own room and own bed I ask “ What’s going to happen?”
No one acknowledges that I said anything. The four of us stand there
till a slight of hand the Mother Superior motions to the sisters, and they
come right next to me bending over at the waist they start lifting the hem
of my frock and pulling it up to so that it rests on the small of my back.
I can feel my body flush. In confusion I hold onto the rough wool I
start to shake when the cold air hits my lower back. I search into
the Mother Superior face for some explanation. Why is this happening?
Is screaming in my mind. It only took a micro second and my bloomers
are at my ankles. I can feel the blood rush into my face
and I drop the frock and attempt to rise. They grasp my shoulder soundly
so I am held in this position I hear shuffling behind me I can’t see who
coming but I hear Hail Mary Mother of God and then I lose control and start
struggling! This isn’t one of the sisters this was a man. A priest
is walking in the cell and my exposed ass is in plain view. I
franticly try to push my frock back down; the sisters prevent me replacing
it where it had rested before. Tears well up into my eyes from the
indignity, then fear because I just realize what is going to happen.
I am going to be that animal in pain I heard in the hall when I first walked
in earlier this evening. Then the first strike came down on my right
cheek I yelled out from the sting of a thousand hot daggers hitting my bare
flesh. Another came down on my left. I was determined that I
was going to stay where I was I was going to take my punishment. With
every new swing the priest would recite, “God forgive us our trespasses as
we forgive those who trespass upon us”. This continue which seem like
an eternity my whole backside was on fire I begged for mercy and pleaded
yet the hemp belt still kept falling down onto my inflamed skin. Though I
struggled and almost fell to my knees the sisters would not let me move.
Then it stopped as abruptly as it had started the tight grasps slacken.
I fell to my knees onto the hard floor little stones jabbed into my knees.
I just didn’t care the pain radiated through out my sweat soaked body, my
over heated ass is resting on the heals of my feet. Tears streaming down
my face I am exhausted and in pain that small cot looks like a down filled
bed right now. I am thankful that the punishment is over I just wanted
to curl into that cot and die. The priest spoke out sternly which instantly
brought me out of my haze, “Miss Gilbert for your transgressions you shall
be punish as thus through out the night until time as your guardian arrives,
between the sanctions you will remain kneeling and pray to god for forgiveness”
in my exhausted state I didn’t hear him leave.
The Mother superior left along with one of the sisters the other took the
spot in front of me every time it looked as I would fall over she nudged
my shoulder. In total frustration I demanded was my crime merit for this
punishment. No response was given time moved slowly but not slowly
enough before I knew it the Mother Superior returned and a different novice
taking their original position. I was so stiff I was unable to rise.
The 2 novices pulled me to my feet and the story was repeated. Once
again my gown was lifted and I was leaned over there wasn’t any need to pull
down my bloomers since they were not brought back up.
The priest returned and commenced to hit my now raw bottom with the same
instrument, at first I wailed with every strike that slammed down upon me
then an unforeseen calm to its place. Once again with every blow the
priest repeated those same two lines “God forgive us our trespasses as we
forgive those who trespass upon us” Space and time seem irrelevant the priest
beating seem irrelevant I may still moan with every blow but they didn’t
seem to have the same effect as when it just started. As promised this
continued all night the time of the crack of dawn I no longer knew what was
happening or exactly where I was.
I no longer attempted to get up at all, if they wanted to punish me further
then they were going to have to get me up off this ground my whole body has
gone numb. It surpassed pain a long time ago but I gone past control
also I don’t’ think I could walk or move now if my life depended on it.
Oh nice was that the door like it really matters anymore. I know my
death is imamate, there is only so much that a body can withstand, and I
know mine has about reached that. If it weren’t for the Novice who
was standing in front of me I would have fallen a long time ago. I
now wasn’t praying for answers I was praying to let my life to end.
I knew that with this round I would die. Instead of the silence of Mother
Superior and the unknown Priest I hear the blazing yelling of my Guardian.
What he saying I could never attest to for the moment I was lifted off the
ground I blacked out.
For the longest time I seem to waking fitfully reality is gone the pain is
there somewhere I am floating within my body. I know I feel it especially
when they are trying to remove all the particles of hemp that is exposed
in my raw skin. I can hear my guardian barking orders around but what
he is saying is way beyond my comprehension. Unfortunately like all
dreams they end and I am brought back to reality back to this little hell
of an existence I am bound to. Moving reminds me of the fact that I
am still alive my knees are wrapped and salved.