Being stupid is its own reward
Being stupid is its own punishment
Stupidity is its own reward
Stupidity is its own punishment
In a world of pollution, profanity, adolescence, zits, broccoli, racism, ozone depletion, sexism, stupid guys, and PMS, why the hell do people still tell me to have a nice day?
--Unknown
Writing is a lot like sex. At first you do it because you like it. Then you find yourself doing it for a few close friends and people you like. But if you’re any good at all...you end up doing it for money.
—Unknown
Love is a matter of Chemistry, but sex is a matter of Physics
--Unknown
The Internet is a great way to get on the Net.
—Bob Dole
A lot of beautiful people are stupid. There’s a tremendous amount of idiots who look so good. It’s frightening.
—Dean Cain
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt
--Bertrand Russell
It’s too bad that stupidity isn’t painful
--Anton Szandor LaVey
To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered.
—Voltaire [Francois-Marie Arouet] (1694 - 1778)
The American people are very generous people and will forgive almost any weakness, with the possible exception of stupidity
.—Will Rogers (1879-1935)
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
—Dan Quayle
With fame I become more and more stupid, which of course is a very common phenomenon.
—Albert Einstein
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former
.—Albert Einstein
If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?
--Will Rogers (1879-1935)
When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don’t answer him
--Michael, 14 Advice from Kids
Many wise words are spoken in jest, but they don’t compare with the number of stupid words spoken in earnest.
—Sam Levenson (1911 - 1980) Humorist
Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change
.—Confucius
China is a big country with a lot of chinese people living there.
—Charles De Gaulle Former French President
Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein
—Joe Theismann
I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn’t study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people.—--- ---Dan Quayle
You know that old saying, ‘Strike while the iron is hot?’ Well, I think that’s a pretty dumb saying, ‘cause I’ll betcha a cold iron will hurt like hell, too
—Charlie Acord
I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children’s children, because I don’t think children should be having sex
--Jack Handey Deep Thoughts (Saturday Night Live - NBC)
I haven’t had sex in eight months. To be honest, I now prefer to go bowling.
—Lil’ Kim
Love is the word used to label the sexual excitement of the young, the habituation of the middle-aged, and the mutual dependence of the old.
—John Ciardi
I’m too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don’t know.
—Garry Shandling
Sex lies at the root of life, and we can never learn to reverence life until we know how to understand sex.
—Havelock Ellis
They have to convert our agenda into something aggressive. Two guys wanting to be happy together are invading their marriages. Helping a kid who’s getting beaten up at school is promoting homosexuality. If you gave me a million dollars, I wouldn’t know how to promote homosexuality. Do I hire Don King?
--Barney Frank U.S. Representative
Defense of Marriage? It’s like the old V-8 commercial. As though if this act didn’t pass, heterosexual men all over the country would say, [smacking head] ‘I could have married a guy!’
--Barney Frank U.S. Representative
same-sex marriages. The name implies that the value of heterosexual marriages goes down once you let homosexuals into the institution There goes the neighborhood. I don’t buy this realtor’s view of relationships. Gay and lesbian couples who want to wed aren’t trying to assail the grounds for marriage. They’re trying to share them. If anything, they want to stabilize the gay community.
—Ellen Goodman Syndicated Boston Globe columnist
Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts
--Jeff Foxworthy
Everyone probably thinks that I’m a raving nymphomaniac, that I have an insatiable sexual appetite, when the truth is I’d rather read a book.
—Madonna (1958-) US singer, actress in Q Magazine (London), Jun 1991.
Surfing on the Internet is like sex; everyone boasts about doing more than they actually do. But in the case of the Internet, it’s a lot more.
—Tom Fasulo
The important thing in acting is to be able to laugh and cry. If I have to cry I think of my sex life. If I have to laugh, I think of my sex life
--Glenda Jackson
Sex is a flame which uncontrolled may scorch; properly guided, it will light the torch of eternity
.—Joseph Fetterman
In public school systems across the country, they’re indoctrinating kids to be ‘sexual’ under the guise of protecting them, when you know that’s not true. I think it is indoctrination for left-wing agendas.
—Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Name? Austin Danger Powers. Sex? Yes please!
--Austin Powers
Ann Landers said that you are addicted to sex if you have sex more than 3 times a day, and that you should seek professional help. I have news for Ann Landers: The only way I am going to get sex 3 times a day is if I seek professional help
.—Jay Leno
Don’t wreck a sublime chocolate experience by feeling guilty. Chocolate isn’t like premarital sex. It will not make you pregnant. And it always feels good.
—Lora Brody, author of Growing Up on the Chocolate Diet
Sex is a body-contact sport. It is safe to watch but more fun to play.
—Thomas Szasz, M.D.
Sex is a bad thing because it rumples the clothes.
—Jackie Onassis
Sex is a discovery.
—Fannie Hurst
Sex is the mathematics urge sublimated.
—M. C. Reed
Sex is unclean, not because of the pleasure, but because of the suffering it brings
.—Theodore Roeszak
Sex is a momentary itch, love never lets you go.
—Unknown
Sex is like air; it’s not important unless you aren’t getting any.
—Unknown
Sex is like snow, you never know how many inches you’re going to get or how long it will last.
—Unknown
Sex is an emotion in motion.
—Mae West
Sex is nature’s way of saying ‘Hi!’.
—Unknown
Sex is the tabasco sauce which an adolescent national palate sprinkles on every course in the menu.
—Mary Day Winn
You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither.
—Steve Martin
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night
.—Rodney Dangerfield
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL.
—Lynn Lavner