Just like Lucius.
I have been thwapped for that. Right! Moving along now in our merry way. We have entered Part Four of the storyline, started on our new group. Which means, more laughs, more tears, and a lemony fresh scent! Hark as we uncover the lost properties of utter nothingness! See how we dissect absolutely diddley! Yes, the uncensored storyline of Part Four is exposed for all the world to see!
In this, you shall see Dudley taking it all off! You will see Sev changing his name to 'Bob'! You will see the ultimate showdown between Voldemort and the potted plant that resides in the corner of the Malfoy Manor! You will..
Hell, not again! Wrong rpg. *sigh* Nothing every happens here.
Well, I suppose I have to be truthful. There's not even a skewering of flobberworms in sight. Alright, so what does happen?
I shall start with a group of three people. Two of which are young'uns. One is an old fart. These three people go into an airplane. It crashes and they eat each other to stay a..*sigh* Fine..FINE!
Three people in a library. Hermione, Pansy, and Arthur. They bond, they cry, they hug. They declare world peace for House Elves and bunnies everywhere. Scratch that last part. It's odd enough saying they cried.
But easy to say that they hugged. I mean, what with all the femmeslash goin' around...I shall continue. So, anyway, Pansy tried to get Hermione to help her out with finding a solution for Draco's lack of a soul problem. But Hermione had made a commitment to take Arthur to see Ron. People! Where are your priorities?!
So! Moving right along, Hermione leaves with Arthur and Pansy turns to the books, burning the midnight oil. Well, it's no longer midnight, exactly. It's now creeping into the morning.
About time too. I've never seen a longer day.
Well, I suppose you're all wondering about what's been happening with Voldie and Lucilla. It turns out that they weren't after some pretty blonde whores after all! That was just a clever scheme to mask their true intentions! They were going to Diagon Alley to get some BRUNETTE whores and...
Hell! Where are all the prostitutes when you need them?
*sigh* Alright. They were going to Diagon Alley (Diagonally *snicker*) to blow it up. Well, maybe not blow it up, per se. More like, summon a bunch of Death Eaters to come tear it apart. Meanwhile, they make themselves comfortable in Madam Malkin's, getting some clothing.
Crushed velvet anyone?
I don't know what Lucius would find more disturbing. Seeing Voldie in his outfit or knowing that they match up quite well.
For that matter, I wonder if Voldie finds it disturbing.
Moving right along...
*has just put in Labyrinth and stares in a mixture of shock and amusement at Bowie's..sock*
Luc and Sev part ways soon enough, each of them going back into their own little worlds and thinking some not quite nice things regarding themselves and the little world they're living in. Luc heads for Draco's room and Sev..
Sev, the eternally grumpy man, well, we all know where he is and what he does! He stays in the Potions Lab! That's right! He does not go anywhere! Nothing can budge him! He stays right there and has to be lifted out of the room via a crane.
Luc has to take a side turn since he saw Harry lying on the ground. It seems that Harry had gone out of his room, tried to exit out a window, had gotten shocked, fell back and cracked his head against the coffee table. Poor boy. Trauma does that to people.
So anyway, Luc found Harry, took out the diary and when Lily emerged, told her to heal him up. And then he told her to strip and dance.
Unfortunately she only listened to one of his commands and healed up her son.
What, you expected her to obey the second command?
So anyway, who should come out but Ron! Good ol' Ron! Having just awoken from his coma, he joins in the fray and takes over Luc's position in holding Harry.
That sounded really dirty.
So now Ron is holding Harry (not that way you pervert!), Lily is leaning over him and Luc goes back on his way to see Draco.
Pansy, having abandoned the books and thinking she knows of a perfect theory, heads for Draco's bedroom and gets there before Luc. Fortunately Lucius is not planning on killing Draco this time around and after he and his soulless son bond a bit..
Nevermind it is one of the best conversations they ever have. A bit one-sided but what the hey? And then Pansy turns to Lucius and she says..
"Through dangers untold and harships unnumbered, I have fought my way here to the castle, beyond the goblin city, to take back the child that you have stolen. For my will is as strong as yours and my kingdom is as great..."
Umm...shoot! Sorry, getting off track. Well, don't recall the last line but it doesn't much matter. Pansy and Luc get to talking and Luc convinces her not to die and that she can serve a better purpose if she remains alive.
Their conversation was interrupted by Sev who had, at long last, emerged from his Potions Lab and had ventured out to draw on portraits of the Malfoy ancestors.
Sev, you bastard.
Anyway, Sev joined the crew of Ron, Harry and Lily and who should come along but Hermione and Arthur! Party in the corridor!
So!
A Ministry owl comes along, addressed to dear Arthur, stating all about the DEs attacking and all that. Naturally, Snape is the one who reads the letter. Sev goes to Luc to tell him with Arthur following not too far behind.
Severus speaks to Luc, a plan is formed, grief is set aside and Luc goes to the others to give them their scripts.
Detailing what the others need to do, the conversation takes a slight twist:
Luc: You remind me of the babe.
Ron: What babe?
Luc: The babe with the power.
Harry: What power?
Luc: The power of voodoo.
Lily: Who do?
Luc: You do!
Sev: Do what?
Luc: Remind me of the babe!
Wait...
*sigh* I really do need to turn off this movie.
So, anyway, the plan to take over Hogwarts is set in place. Pansy will watch over the Manor. Luc and Sev will enter Hogwarts first and dispose of certain unmentionables and Luc will get the dagger. Ron, Hermione, and Arthur will follow, sealing up Hogwarts form outside interference. Lily will be in the diary with Hermione to act as back-up and Harry...
Slight probem with Harry. The boy's got amnesia. This would ordinarily be a downer to the plan as it means Harry couldn't act as bait. Fortunately, Lily was there with him and managed to return to him some of his past memories of who he is and what he can do. Nothing of too recent, however.
With that set up, Luc and Sev take themselves to Hogwarts.
And Voldemort and Lucilla take themelves out of the decimated Diagon Alley and head for Muggle London. It is Voldie's intentions to train the girl up, meaning he'll have to get rid of those bothersome pangs of conscience that she might be having. Currently, they're in the midst of Voldie convincing her to kill off a Muggle, neither of them suspecting what's going on at Hogwarts.
So now we've got Luc and Sev at Hogwarts, the others awaiting their turn while the two sociopaths run amuck.
Here's where it gets tricky. I could tell you that Severus did exactly what he was told, which means mutilating Pettigrew and then roasting him alive before dissecting Zabini layer by layer, but I'm sure you'd much rather hear how he spraypainted McGonagall's chambers and wrote 'Sev woz here' all over the walls in bright flourescent pink.
And I can write about how Luc found the dagger, got Dumbledore out of the cocoon he was within and then managed to break the dagger via the usage of Macnair's axe, but I'm sure you'd much rather hear about him toilet-papering the trees all around the Forbidden Forest and then bungee-jumping off the roof of Hogwarts.
To say nothing of the Death Eaters who had been assembled outside, that are now stationed and ready at the fireplace. But in all actuality, they threw a wild, orgy-filled, beer-keg party!
Everything was cleaned up, naturally, the occupants sober and dressed in their best attire to await the arrival of Ron, Hermione and the others.
Save for the large flourescent heart on the wall that clearly states "L.M. & S.S. 4 Eva."
What can I say? These people have problems.
Of couse, I did leave out a few minor details. Such as Nott's arrival and..something something that I'm sure will occur to me not soon after I save this whole thing. But now you know the gist. Be happy. Bow to me.