Right, I'm okay. Here's the story so far. Keep in mind I'm just giving you the gist of it. For true and full substance, read the damn posts.
It all started one fine, glorious day. Lucius and Draco were on their way to attending the annual Death Eater Bar-Be-Que held outside in the Malfoy's backyard. Suddenly some guy with a chainsaw showed up and...
Wait. Sorry, wrong RPG. Uh, minus the chainsaw guy.
After having a brief chat about the Malfoy lineage and what their true purpose in life is, both male Malfoys stepped outside to greet and seduce their fellow Death Eaters. Narcissa had also made her presense known outside on the green, flirting with another Death Eater. Lucius was not too pleased at this. Not her flirting, but for her being there and he walked over to try to amend this small detail. Draco, meanwhile, allowed a piggish girl named Agatha to go into a cheerleading squat for him.
Needless to say, Draco wasn't all that enthralled while Lucius shoved Narcissa inside.
It is here that we learn of Narcissa's very strong legs and even stronger kick to the shin. While Narcissa took comfort in the wine cellar located in the bottom of the Malfoy's pantry, Draco took the time to insult Agatha's self-esteem.
At the rate this is going, I'm gonna be here all day. So here's the short, short version.
Narcissa got drunk. Really drunk. She showed back up at the party, flirted around, made a nuisance of herself, and made a few off-hand comments as to Lucius' choice of bed partners. Lucius tried to get her back inside, much to her dismay. Draco tried distracting his mother, but it all ended into one big tug-of-war between Lucius, Narcissa, and her wand. It wasn't too long before the entire Bar-Be-Que was in shatters due to a few unorthodox spells.
And then Voldemort showed up.
And then talking happened. Lots of talking. As it turns out, Lucius had done the spying he was supposed to for Voldemort a long time ago, had neglected to show Voldemort his findings, and would have been chewed out save for the fact that Lucius was too busy chewing out the Dark Lord for going through his things. It's a very long, complicated affair you see. Voldemort, now knowing Harry's whereabouts, knew he couldn't go over there personally and kill off Harry. That would be too easy. So he sent Lucius and Draco to do so.
And with Lucius, not too pleased, and Draco, all too willing to please, they got into the car and zoomed off to Privet Drive.
Meanwhile Harry had been celebrating a very unhappy birthday. He had gone wandering off from his house and into a park area when the Malfoy family car had managed to stop just inches from him.
Something about getting lost and the damn House Elf taking a short cut. Look at how much you're missing by not reading the posts!
The Malfoys abducted poor Harry and took him back to his house. Lucius had, apparently, been meaning to betray Voldie for quite awhile now and had been hoping for an oppurtunity to do so. Seeing as how he could get away from the Dark Lord with his son intact, he decided to drop the plans of kidnapping the boy and instead told Harry in not so many terms that they would stay at his place.
This was frowned upon by the Dursleys. The Malfoys could not care less and so life went on.
Until Voldemort showed up. The Dark Lord was most displeased at having been kept waiting for so long. He had decided, against common sense, to go to Harry's house himself and bitch about the lack of good help these days.
It ended with everyone falling out a window, without broomsticks. Voldie put the Cruciatus curse on Lucius, who, after falling out the window with Draco, managed to call down Harry after them using the Accio spell. With Lucius out of the count, Draco continued the spell. Since Voldemort had grabbed onto Harry's leg, he also decided to take up broom-less flying and crashed down into the prickle bushes. Voldemort's wand was taken after Harry stamped down on Voldie's arm and all three of them made a break way for the car.
Now they were destined for Hogwarts, seeing as how it was the only safe place they could go. Along the way, they had car trouble which Harry, much to Lucius' amazement, managed to fix. Whether or not this is important is irrelevant. So nyah.
Meanwhile, in a completely different story, Ron was worried about Harry who hadn't answered his letter yet. He made his way to the Dursleys, with the help of his twin brothers, only to discover what had happened to Harry. Using the flying car, he made his way to Hogwarts.
At Hogwarts. *long sigh* I'm not even halfway done yet.
Ron met up with Harry and Draco when they all arrived. They traded insults while Lucius went off to find Snape. And talking was done by all. Lucius and Snape went up to talk to Dumbledore. The Headmaster agreed that they could stay there for the time being. However, arrangements had to be made and Dumbledore also wished to hear what happened from Harry. Lucius went down to get Harry, told the boy Dumbledore wanted to see him and left with Draco behind him.
Harry and Ron went up to see Dumbledore and after a quick rumination of the day's events, Dumbledore told them they should stay in their own chambers and hopefully, something could be arranged. Prof. McGonagall was there to give the boy's their new password and soon they were safely inside Gryffindor Tower.
Lucius and Draco went off and met up with Snape. Lucius then remembered having left the wand in the car and went to go retrieve it. Unfortunately, Voldemort was also out there. I will not tell you what happened exactly, save that Voldie got hit by a car, but it ended with the Rolls inside Hogwarts and Lucius still with Voldie's wand. Voldie's posts in this is bloody worth checking out. Funny guy, the Dark Lord is.
Now where was I? Ah yes. Lucius returned to them and told Snape of their new predicament. Thinking that all would be safe in Gryffindor Tower, he tells Snape to go ahead as he would like to have a, er, talk with his son.
What started off as a talk turned into more. Lalala. Slash. Lalala. Incest. Lalala. Read the damn posts already!
In the end, Lucius gave Draco Voldemort's wand to keep safe. While all this was going on, Voldemort had returned to the Malfoy Manor and was there with Narcissa. He convinced her, in so many words, to write a letter to Lucius. His intention was to kill the man and, perhaps, blame it on Narcissa. As it was, he never got a chance to see it through. Narcissa ran from the Manor in her own car and changed transportation at a gas station.
Narcissa crash landed inside Gryffindor Tower much to her dismay and Harry and Ron's shock. After devouring all the food there, she proceeded to wait for her husband to return. It wasn't too long when Lucius and Draco came up there and much spiteful words flew through the air. And then came the wonderful news that Narcissa was pregnant. Lucius seemed fine with the news, Draco didn't. After Draco ran to the girl's dormitories crying his little heart out, Harry ran up there to comfort him. Ron, not wanting to be alone with the two adult Malfoys, went to the boy's dormitories to await the arrival of Harry.
Draco, the moderator, was just remarking at how the word dormitories looks positively ridiculous when in print. Funny, I never noticed that before.
It was at this time that Professor Lucilla showed up. Sporting an extensive knowledge in the use of magical, musical instruments, she had just been invited to Hogwarts to teach there come the new term. She met up with Dumbledore who instructed her as to what was expected of her and learned that she would be staying near Gryffindor Tower.
Narcissa, who had started off annoyed, then angry, then neutral, then cruel, now just plain pissed off, told her husband off about Draco. Lucius, not wanting to deal with her anymore, left Gryffindor Tower and, while thinking to himself, met up with Prof. Lucilla as she was on her way to the Tower. Meanwhile, Voldemort hid himself within the castle walls and was lurking around.
Onto part three.
After Lucilla and Lucius had a brief conversation concerning her parentage and such matters, Lucilla went off to bed, unknowingly leaving Lucius at the mercy of Voldemort who then pounced Lucius and raped and beat him. After which, Voldemort vanishes back into the castle walls, content to lurk for a bit while Lucius manages to get back to Gryffindor Tower, but collapses by the stairwell.
He was soon discovered by Prof. Lucilla and then Narcissa. After recovering at the hands of Lucilla, Narcissa wanted no part in it, Lucius and Lucilla journeyed up to Gryffindor Tower. Whereupon much verbal spats started and well, yeah.
As it turns out, Harry had gone up to comfort Draco and they ended up doing a bit more than comforting. That's right, children. Potter and Malfoy did the nasty. Big surprise there. Meanwhile, in a completely different story, Ron and Lucius left to Privet Drive to get Harry's things. While they were gone, narcissa made the mistake of barging in on Draco and Harry after they had, er, consumated their love.
Isn't all this pleasant? Anyhoo, after some obliviate spells later, Draco and Narcissa had heade downstairs where they ran afoul of Prof. Snape, who wasn't at all pleased and was looking for Lucius. They talked and talked some more. You want details, read the posts. My fingers are getting tired already. Anyhoo, Snape got out of there quickly just after Harry had come downstairs. So now we have Narcissa, knocked out on the couch due to a stuptifying spell and an oblivate spell, Draco who's clinging onto Harry, a poor confused Harry, and two people coming out of the fireplace. Yes, Ron and Lucius arrive just in time to witness the lovely passion of Draco and Harry.
Needless to say, neither Ron nor Lucius took too well to any of this. Draoc and Lucius got into a bit of a tiff and Lucius left, intending on seeking out Voldie. Draco bawled and bawled some more but soon found comfort in the arms of Harry. Enter Hermione.
Lucilla soon met up with Voldie. They had an interesting conversation in which Voldie tried to impress upon her the importance of being earnest. Wait, wrong rpg again. Sorry. The importance of power. Yes, that's right. Lucilla ended the conversation rather abruptly by fainting and was carried to the Slytherin dormitories by Voldie, who, once again, buggered off.
Hermione arrived at Hogwarts just in time to run into Lucius, who didn't much feel like talking. She went to the common room and ran into Ron, who didn't much feel like anything. Draco confessed his love for Harry. Ditto Harry. Ah, sweet melodrama. Poor Ron felt lost, and didn't know that Hermione still carried the torch for him.
Meanwhile, I seem to say that a lot, Luc finds Voldie. Voldie is chasing after Snape, and it's not for Snape's charming personality. Apparently Snape managed to stumble upon Voldie in the library and had left in a rush. Lucius, not wanting to see Snape hurt, tackled Voldie.
Lots of shit happened. Lucilla appeared. Snape cursed Voldie. Lucius nearly strangled Voldie. It wasn't looking too good for Voldie. And then Voldie got his second wind, pummeled Lucius into the ground and would've done more if it hadn't been for Lucilla who managed to save everyone's neck.
There is a gnat flying around here and I can't seem to whack it.
Voldie faded back into the woodwork, leaving Lucius, Snape, and Lucilla alone. Meanwhile, again with the meanwhiles?, the kids in Gryffindor Tower are seeming to get into a slight argument.
And now you know, the rest of the story.
And if you're still interested, then go on to part two!
Otherwise known as Month Two.