Hermione's Death Eaters RPG Survey: "I had hoped to be thirty before I got
this cynical..."

1. What's your name?
   Hermione Granger

2. What do you wish your name was, instead?
   I'm content with Hermione.  I've grown into it.

3. How are you?
   On a study break, actually.

4. Would you ever eat sushi?
   Oh, my mum makes yummy sushi!

5. Would you ever eat sushi off a naked body?
   *raises her eyebrows* Um.  Haven't given it much thought.

6. Have you considered homosexuality?
   All the boys around here are gay. I ponder that a lot
   if it counts for anything.

7. What's your sexual preference?
   I like boys; boys just don't seem to like *me*.
   Except Viktor, and we don't talk about that.

8. What were you in a past life?
   With my romantic karma? Henry VIII or a
   black widow spider or something.

9. I punch you. Quick, what do you do?
   Say 'ow' and glare, possibly hex you.

10. When confronted with Britney Spears, you...?
    Hide.

11. What's your favorite coffee?
    I prefer tea.

12. What's your political perspective?
    Muggle-wise?  Labour Party.  Wizarding?  Reform-minded.
    Basically humanist liberal.

13. Are you my Angel?
    You what?  Um...possibly?  Who are you?

14. Do you consider yourself a poet?
    I'm a teenage girl with a shitty love-life.
    What do *you* think?!

15. What do you wanna be when you grow up?
    I think I'm somehow fated to go into teaching or research.

16. There's a naked man in your living room. What do you do?
    Roll my eyes and tell my father to put his clothes on.

17. How stupid do you think you are?
    I'm intelligent.  It's my thing: books and cleverness.

18. How stupid do other people think you are?
    They think I'm smart; why else would they bother me
    for tutoring?

19. Who the hell do you think you are?
    A Gryffindor through and through.
    Oh, and an unashamed mudblood.

20. Is the Wonderbra good or bad?
    Sometimes it's fucking terrifying.  Sometimes its fun.

21. If you could levitate, who would you scare first?
    I mastered 'wingardium leviosa' within a week of arriving
    at Hogwarts.  It annoyed a few people *cough*Ron*cough*.
    That count?

22. What's your favorite fruit?
    Strawberries.  Or pineapple.

23. Can you feel the love tonight?
    No.  Next question?

24. On a nude beach, you would...?
    Read.  And bitch at my parents for their
    aging-hippy idea of 'fun'.

25. Make up a story with yourself:
    Oh, some 'Rowling' woman writes stories with a
    Hermione Granger in them.  Go read those; this is
    a study break, not another assignment.

26. What do you think about contemporary art?
    It has its upsides, in particular the deconstruction of
    the hierarchical conceptions of high art, but then so
    do cheap Monet prints.  The use of color is generally
    daring, but draws upon impressionism and cubism, I think.
    It can be rather derivative, and a little *too* obscure/open
    to interpretation, but its generally very befitting of the
    post-modern era.

27. Do you like being naked?
    In a bathtub.  Or under nice sheets.

28. If we had proof God didn't exist, what would happen?
    Well, religious institutes would have to admit that they
    are based upon the patriarchal necessity of controlling
    women's bodies, and the Pope would be out of a job.

29. Do you enjoy cheese whiz?
    No.  Ugh.  I prefer real cheese.  With a strong flavour.
    Generally not the smelly French cheeses, but I like Brie.

30. What's your position on virginity?
    Reluctant.

31. On civil unions:
    Live and let live.

32. On RuPaul:
    Drag is a fascinating way to deconstruct gender-norms.

33. On mosquito bites:
    Ouch.

34. On bad sitcoms:
    *eye-roll* Television: the opiate of the masses.

35. On Fran Drescher:
    Someone get that woman speech therapy, *now*.  Or kill her.

36. Are you left handed or right handed?
    Right.

37. Are you smart?
    Pay attention: we covered this.  It's my thing.  And no,
    that's *not* a penis metaphor.

38. What's your middle name?
    I never admit to it.  My parents were hippies, okay?

39. How many personalities do you have?
    I'm beginning to think not enough.

40. How many piercing do you have?
    Two; one in each earlobe.  Mum suggested I pierce my
    nose as a way to mark my sixteenth birthday.  I told her
    that I would rather drive a pencil up my nose.  Repeatly.
    To the rhythm of a Spice Girls medly.  She took the hint.

41. What was your first word?
    My parents, apparently, can't remember.

42. Are you superstitious?
    Absolutely not.

43. Do you read your horoscope?
    When I'm at home, it's read to me every morning at
    breakfast.  Invariably, it's wrong.  Imagine that.

44. Do you believe in that stuff?
    Why don't you ask "Professor" Trelawny?

45. Can you do cartwheels?
    Yes.  Quite well.

46. Do you have contact lenses?
    No.

47. Do you have a retainer or braces?
    No.  I fixed my teeth the magical way just in
    time to avoid them.

48. Can you drive?
    Not old enough.

49. Do you snore?
    No.

50. Do you drool in your sleep?
    No.

51. Do you lick your envelopes or use a sponge?
    I tend to lick, or lick my fingers and dab.

52. Do you keep a journal?
    ...Yes.  Don't tell anyone.

53. Do you like onions?
    I do.

54. Do you like cotton candy?
    We call it 'candy floss' in England.  What's that
    Bowie song?  "I'm afraid of Americans"?  Oh, wait,
    getting off-topic.  Yes.  I do.  Especially the blue.

55. What instruments can you play?
    I took violin lessons under duress until I convinced
    my parents that it was utterly assanine, and a bother.

56. Do you like to dance?
    Actually, yes.

57. Do you like to sing?
    God, no.  One too many campfires and "Kumbayah"
    incidents.

58. Are you any good at it?
    Ask me if I care?

59. Do you like to talk on the phone?
    It's better than a poke in the eye with a sharp
    stick.

60. Do you like where you live?
    It's okay..

61. Are you organized?
    Very.

62. Do you sleep with socks on?
    If my feet are cold, then, yes.

63. Are you shy?
    I have been, very.  And I can be.

64. Do you talk to yourself?
    Rarely.

65. Are you a morning person?
    Yes.  Sort of.

66. Are you a virgin?
    Yes.  Weren't you paying attention to the bitchy
    vitriol above?

67. Are you proud of that?
    Oh, *absolutely*.  *eye-roll*

68. Do you believe in reincarnation?
    I suppose I do; I remember when I was about five
    asking my grandmother what they do when Heaven gets
    over-populated...  Reincarnation seems the logical
    solution to the post-life population-explosion.

69. Do you believe in God?
    I believe in some sort of benevolent creator force;
    I'm not sure where to go from there, but, yes, I do
    believe in a higher power.

70. Do you believe in ghosts?
    Yes.

71. Do you believe in bigfoot?
    Possibly some evolutionary throw-back?  Or a thawed-out
    proto-human from the ice-age (assuming one believes in
    the theories...).

72. How old do you wish you were?
    Old enough to know better and to care less.

73. What will you name your daughter?
    I don't know.

74. Son?
    I'm not old enough to consider reproducing yet.

75. Have you ever thought you were gonna die?
    Yes. Most notably when I nearly drowned as a child,
    seeing the Basilisk in the mirror, riding Buckbeak,
    and riding in front of Viktor on his broom.  No, that's
    not a penis metaphor either.

76. Where do you wanna go?
    For a bath and to bed right now actually.

Ever...
1. Been kissed? Yes.
2: Done drugs?
   Only prescriptions. And passive smoking of tobacco and cannabis.
3: Eaten an entire box of Oreos? We don't have those in England.
4: Been on stage? Yes.
5: Dumped someone else? Viktor. In a passive-aggressive sort of way.
6: Gotten in a car accident?
   No.  But more from good luck than good management, hm, Daddy?
7: Watched "Punky Brewster"? American tv show, I assume?
8: Been in love? I don't think so.

Favorites...
9: Shampoo: L'Oreal anti-frizz.
10: Toothpaste: Colgate.
11: Soap: Pears.  Or Body Shop.
12: Type of soup: My grandmother's homemade cream of chicken.
13: Room in your house: My room.  Or the study.
14: Instrument: Cello, actually, or flute.  Piano's not bad either.

Either/Or..
15: Coffee or hot chocolate?  Hot chocolate.
16: Big or little?  Depends.
17: Lace or satin?  Satin.
18: New or old?  Depends.
19: Neve Campbell or Jennifer Love Hewitt?  Susan Sarandon.
20: Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt?  Ewan McGregor.
21: Vogue or Material Girl?  Magazines are a waste of money.
22: Jeans or cords?  Both.
23: Sweater or sweatshirt?  Either; depends.
24: T-shirt or tank top?
    Long-sleeved round-neck t-shirts.  Tanks are okay, too.
25: Skirt or dress? Either; depends.
26: Wool or cotton? Either; depends.
27: Rose or Lily?  White roses, or lilies.  I like daisies.
28: The way it is or the way it was?
    Is, I guess.  This is a stupidly moot question.
29: Oldies or pop?
    Oldies.  But not John Fucking Denver or the Monkees.
30: Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?  No.
31: Do you have a best friend?
    I did; two of them.  We're going through a rough patch.

In the last 24 hours, have you...

32: Cried? Probably inside.
33: Helped someone?  I'm a Gryffindor, you figure it out.
34: Bought something? No.
35: Gotten sick? No.
36: Gone to the movies? No.
37: Gone out for dinner? No.
38: Said "I love you"?: No.
39: Written a real letter? No.
40: Moved on?  Hardly.
41: Talked to an ex?  No, thank goodness.
42: Missed an ex?  Maybe a little.
43: Written in a journal?  No.
44: Talked to someone you have a crush on?  HAD a crush on.  Yeah.
45: Had a serious talk?  Yes.
46: Missed someone?
    Yes; I miss Harry & Ron and the way we used to be.
47: Hugged someone?  Yes.
48: Fought with your parents? No.
49: Fought with a friend? Yes.

Do you.....
50: Wear eye shadow? Only for parties.
51: Put on a "front"?  Yes.
52: Kiss on the first date?  No.
53: Have a crush on someone? No.
54: Eat with your mouth open?  No.
55: If you got a tattoo, where would you get it, and what would it be?
    Hmm... I can't think of anything I would want to
    emblazon upon my body that would take an operation
    to remove.  I'm not against body-art, but it's a
    logistical nightmare.
56: What color is your floor/carpet in your room?    Grey.
57: What was the last CD you bought? Umm... Jann Arden.
58: How did you spend last summer?   In Bulgaria.  Don't ask.
59: When's the last time you showered? This morning.
60: Are you tired? Yes.
61: Are you lonely? Yes.
62: Are you happy? Not really.
63: Are you wearing pajamas? No.
64: Are you talking to someone online?  I have.
65: What are the initials of your crush/interest/spouse?
    MYOB: mind your own business.  Also NA: Not applicable.
66: What is your astrological sign?   Libra.
67: What is the sign of your crush/interest/spouse?   The question mark.
68: What time is it? Late.