03/29/06 - Determination

Well, I have begun my transformation. Actually, according to some of my friends, the transformation began months ago, but I guess its only now taking full affect. I've decided to waste no time in fighting against my old ways, and its already looking . . . I hesitate to say "promising" given my history with that word, but I'm certainly optimistic about my progress.

Anyway, enough of my vague philosophizing, lets get back to an actual blog. So, what have I been up to lately . . .

Went to a party on Friday, to celebrate the engagement of two people I've become very close to over the past few months. Congratulations you two, I hope you have a long and happy life together. That was a fun party, and I even got to play a pseudo-DJ type role for a while. Ok, so they were playing an MP3 CD I'd compiled, but it was still my playlist, and most people were impressed.

Didn't do much Saturday, went home, took a nap, did some reading, and went to bed early. Sunday I slept until afternoon, attempted to work on my novel, but didn't really get anything solid accomplished. Went back out that night to watch some movies with friends. The weather wasn't good on Monday, so school was cancelled, and I went out again, but the weather got so bad that I never got back to my apartment till today (Wednesday) after school.  Not that that's a terrible thing, there was movies, video games, and a trip to the Battery hotel last night, for swimming (which I can't really do, I just kinda wade around), hot tub (coulda stayed there all night) and sauna. The girls started playing with my hair in the Hot tub, kept it up for quite a while and finally convinced me that it had to be cut. So, I've an appointment with DOOM on next Wednesday. I'll miss you shaggy . . .

Comments:

Wwweeeeee,

I want to transform. However, I can never tell if I am or not. I feel better about myself. The things that I am getting ready to accomplish.

I don't know big dreamer with limited time.

We will soon see what else I can do soon.

CUT THE HAIR? WOW, wouldn't consider that a part of the changes, but I can see why ^_^

-Rupe

 

 

03/22/06 - Reinvention

Well, I decided to act on the perceived "promise" of this past weekend. Turns out I was fooling myself. Once again history repeats itself, and I'm only disappointed. Not really surprised though, this chapter was a lot like the last.

Anyway, as usual I find myself wanting to change, to reinvent myself. In case you haven't caught the metaphor yet, this HAS HAPPENED BEFORE, so I know enough to see that I can't do it alone. I need help, and if anyone out there can give me some real advice or assistance, feel free to drop me a line.

The name I've given myself thus far has been Tranquil Chaos. Its not just because it sounds cool, it does have meaning. I'd like to change that. It may seem a small adjustment, but my goal now is Chaotic Tranquility. You can figure that one.

Vincent Van Gogh:

"One may have a blazing hearth in one's soul, but no one ever comes to sit by it. Passers-by see only a wisp of smoke from the chimney and continue on their way."

03/19/06 - A promising Weekend . . .

Heh heh, this has been one very interesting weekend. Once again I find myself Unable to give too many details, but lets just say, things are looking up . . . Although I did awaken this morning very embarrassed. See, I was again at the Gushue house last night, and after watching Madagascar, listening to music, and drinking until the only other male present passed out (I blame his work, no way is he really such a light-weight in the booze department), I said some things that I am still having trouble believing. I know I said them, and I know they're true, I just can't believe I told them to an 18 yo female friend and her mother . . . suffice it to say, they have a distinct advantage over me should they ever have desire to use it, though come to think of it, this could make for a very interesting time . . . ooh I'm evil.

Also this weekend there were other things that seem very promising. For starters, I've begun work on a novel. I expect it'll take years to complete, especially with the methods I'm using, but I will keep you posted on my progress. I'm considering adding a section to this site specifically for that project.

And Finally, it looks like I'm going to have my parent's place to myself again for a few days over Easter. See, I found out that my break coincides with my little bros', and I asked Mom if she had any plans. The following dialogue ensued:

Mom: "Why? Do you have anything in mind?"

Me: "Well, I thought this would be a great opportunity for you to take the guys out and see Sis' new house, maybe spend a couple of days"

Mom: "Really? And what about you?"

Me: "I could . . . stay here and take care of Misty?" (Misty is our last remaining pet, a young Persian)

Mom: "How convenient"

Hehe, I'm soo evil . . .

03/15/06 - Holy Four-Letter-Words! A month!

Wow, almost a month since my last entry . . . sorry about that, but I can explain. While it has by no means been an uneventful month, it has been more of the same: partying or going home on the weekends, lotsa school in between. Nothing real unusual/unexpected happening in either, except that I've recently finished my "Master Student" course, and am about to start "Microsoft Outlook". Isn't private college great?

As for more personal matters, well, considering who reads this, I can't be too specific, but I will say this: I'd thought a door closed to me, even perceived the lock bolt shut, but a new friend has shed a new light of hope on the situation. We shall have to see, we shall have to see . . .

If anyone out there thinks they know what I may be rambling about, feel free to try and answer this question. Is there really a light at the end of this tunnel, or am I setting myself up for the oncoming train?