in the darkness, alone, in the bitter watches of the night Too often she is dismissed simply as having plunged into a life-threatening war basically because Aragorn turned her down. Jeez, how pathetic would THAT be? Nor is it simply for the pure filial love for Theoden that she stands between the Witch King and the body of Theoden on the Plains of Pelennor. I believe that a lot more complex reading of her character is possible in relation to Aragorn, Theoden, Grima and Faramir. 
I strongly believe that Eowyn's feelings for Aragorn are rooted, not in her desire for him, but her desire for what he possesses: the body of a man. She has royal blood, much like Aragorn, and also courage and love of her people, as does he. But the maiden body in which is she born forbids her to pursue her dreams of knighthood and battle in a world where men rule and men march into war while the women tend to the hearth at home. She wants to be Aragorn, the valiant and kingly leader, more so than to have him. Even Aragorn says: "in me she loves only a shadow and a thought: a hope of glory and great deeds, and lands far from the fields of Rohan" (Tolkien III). She is trapped in the stone cage of Edoras and the flesh of her female body. For Eowyn, Aragorn, who is free to roam Middle-Earth, is everything she wants to be.
Of course, Eowyn might not understand these feelings herself, believing that the admiration and envy she feels is love. Thus, when Aragorn turns her down, she becomes Dernhelm: her male alter ego.   Instead of locking herself in her room and crying her eyes out, she decides to claim an identity for herself that will briefly free her from the confines of her gender. This is a triumphant moment in her development. She resists her social duties of a woman and carves out a space for herself in the history of Middle-Earth. 
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