October 17,2006

Greetings, and salutations for those of the Pagan path, Merry Met. My name is Candy, although I answer to both Freespirit and/or Brighteyes. I am a 24 year old resident of Clarksville, Tennessee. This my dears, is my story.

It's early morning here. Soon I expect to see the rays of sunlight pressing threw the cracks of my window blinds. I am loathe to find comfort this morning in my empty bed. Perhaps, during the day it is easier too manage the bitter taste of loneliness and loss. But not this night of all nights. Not on a night like this when my heart has been so heavy the day thru.

In this blog, I write from the heart. Free, of the limitations I find on most other servers. It is here, that am I comfortable with sharing the trials and tribulations of my life. I am a artist by nature, my heart has always dealt well with the dealings of creativity. I am in love with all things that will never be.

growing up, I was what you may have called a goth, I looked the part, talked the part and felt the part. I was dreary and yet silent. It took a trip to Church camp before I learned to fully be confident enough to speak around other people.

I live with a growing phobia of people. A fear of men, that increases with each passing day. For over two decades I have suffered at the hands of strangers and much worse loved ones. I have watched, each and every person I have ever loved walk out the door. And, it has made me stronger.

I have been married three times, too three completely different men. All wonderful and unique in their all way. I live a un-ordinary life. My entire life I have spent believing that being different was horrible, only recently with the loss of my husband due to rumors have I discovered that being different isn't a curse, its a blessing.

Their, thats enough. Now, I am sorry that this entry must be so short but with the rays of morning I find the sandman beckoning my name.