Monster in the Skin

Author:Karen.

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Joss...

Feedback: Sure.

For Ems.

Blood scent and rum. Oz hated it. The blood scent was all him. The rum was all bar and he was at the counter drinking again. The pills stopped working three months ago. The chains started snapping two months ago. The pain started three years ago and Oz was done. He was dying. The Wolf had one. The human half was faded. Tired. And didn't give a shit anymore.

"You want another?" The bartender asked.

Oz touched the bar to indicate, "Yes her would fucking like some more." It was poured. Oz pounded it. Prayed for death. It wasn't coming. The human half couldn't hold a gun anymore.

He'd tried. He'd bought the old six shooter off a drunk outside of Alabama after waking up in someone's bedroom, doused in their blood. He thrown up for a week. He'd bought the gun. He'd melted down the silverware of the guy who's house he'd woken up in the day after. Yep, he's killed them too and he'd held the gun to his heart. He'd squeezed. He'd begged and prayed and pulled. His fingers had rebelled. He'd changed. He'd woken up naked, except for the blood.

Now it wasn't three nights a month. Now it wasn't just at night. Now it was whenever the Wolf felt like it. He'd wake up at night in blood. In daylight in blood. In houses and in cars with the windows smashed in or in the woods with the clear blue sky above him covered in blood.

He hated himself.

He hated the Wolf.

He hated that he couldn't kill himself.

Great. He was crying at the bar again. Oz put his head in his hands and sobbed even as he choked down more liquor. People moved away from him at the bar. He didn't care anymore. He was trapped inside the Wolf now. His skin was borrowed time. The Wolf could come anytime. It could kill everyone here. Oz couldn't stop it.

Part of him didn't ever want to stop.

Two Am found him outside of LA with the gun in his hand and a cell phone in the other. The man who'd died wouldn't miss it. Naked, bloody, Oz called for help with the last of his human part. The cell phone was his lifeline to death.

He told her to come. He told her about the gun. He told her about the murders. He told her about the blood and the pain and he told her to end it all. Then he dropped the cell phone and the remains in a shallow grave. He carved a cross in the dirt so the man could be found. And sat down to wait. for Death.

Life came first. Across the desert, she floated. Her gorgeous red hair flared out behind her in a cloud of blood. Oz felt the beast respond. He called her name. She ran to him instead of away. Oz choked on his insides as he felt the Wolf stealing this moment from him. He engulfed her in a hug that was bound to leave marks on her. Because Death was with her.

Death knew. Death drew a bead on him. He wanted to kiss her even as Willow hugged him. Spinning her hug, so that she faced away from Death, he pushed her into the desert sands. "I love you."

He turned to meet the green eyes of Death. And Buffy knew. She pulled the trigger. Oz hit the sand. Blood pooled out around him and with an easy heart he knew for once exactly where it came from and whose it was.

Life stood over him and begged. Death gently closed his eyes and let him go.

End.

Questions, comments, feedback to Karen

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