Call of the Wild

Authors: Karen and Mediancat

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Joss is evil to take Oz away permanently. But he owns him, and we still have Xander and Cordy, if not together. So I guess Joss is still evil, so never mind then.

Feedback: Fine by us.

"Xander. Hey."

"Oz, hey. You called!"

"Had to."

"Had to? Anya put that down, I'm talking on the . . . oh that's right, stalk off. Don't – Oh. Had to?"

"Girlfriend troubles?"

"Ex-demon troubles. How are you? What's happening? What's with the had to?

"Never had them myself. Glad of it. Had to, you know, just to check."

"Check? Everything's great here. Just great. Buffy's great. I'm great. Anya is burning my stuff. What could be better? You?"

"I could be a lot better. Of course. Um, want to go get a fire extinguisher? 'cause I can hold."

"Yeah...No wait. Yeah." Pause. "Ow, okay. Hey. Sorry. Where were we?"

"Your girlfriend was burning things. I think."

"Right. No don't worry about that."

"Okay. Won't. Just checking, you know, in case I needed to send a card. Anyway. Everything's alright?"

"Yeah, Oz. Things couldn't be better. But it would be nice to have another guy around."

"Try the personals. I can't be that guy."

"Fine. Leave me to wallow."

"All things equal, I’d be there. It’s just that . . . . all things aren't equal."

"Yeah. All things are so very far from equal my friend."

"And speaking of the things that aren't equal . . . how is she?"

"She, Willow, her and Tara -- and I wish I had known when you were here, man. They don't actually talk to me that much. Unless it's to get doughnuts or make fun of Anya."

"That'll improve, I swear. And you're avoiding. Please don't."

"Happy."

"Happy, what? I like that you're taking over for me in the one-word answers department but happy what?"

"She's happy. Willow's happy.”

"I don't know what to say to that. Conflicted, you know? And more so than most."

"Yeah, I get that. Oz, man, like I said. I didn't know she was with her and I would have told you. You know that. But if you want I can lie. Say she's miserable..."

"Thanks for the thought. I’d still be conflicted, though."

"Conflicted? Why not upset or pissed off? C'mon Oz, that had to hurt. Then the torture. Man."

"You wouldn't like me when I'm angry, Mr. McGee."

"Real funny."

"If I don't joke, I get mad. If I get mad, then people get hurt. So I joke."

"Yeah that whole wolf without the moon stuff is pretty scary. How are you really? You're not holed up in a shack somewhere eating squirrels and running from guys named Deak with shotguns, are you?"

"Guess you would know about joking to cover the hurt, wouldn't you. I came to the right person. No. I wrote Willow. Told her I'd joined the circus. Haven't, of course. Still looking for a way to get this werewolf thing under control."

"Intense. How's that going?"

"No luck yet. Everyone tells me it's a tradeoff: If I want to not change under the moon, I have to accept the Bruce Banner deal. I'm not buying it yet."

"Did you go see Angel? He's got Wesley out there and I hate the guy but he's the next best thing to Giles."

"Not yet. But I may give him a ring. Just didn’t want to pop in. Too . . . close to home."

"Yeah. Home. That's a problem. Being close to home. I mean look at me. I'm so close I'm doing they're laundry."

"Next time, attic."

"Okay, good plan."

"Anyway. I'm up in Canada. Lot of werewolves here, I heard. Figured someone might be able to give me the answers I need."

"Like what, a moose?"

"I was thinking more wolverine, but I'm not picky."

"You sure you're okay? I don't have much money, but you can have the ice cream truck cash ..."

"Thanks, man. But no need. If I do need help though --"

"I'm there. You know I am."

"Thanks again. Look. I need to go. Tell Buffy and Giles how I am, okay?"

"Yeah okay, Oz.”

"Bye, Xander."

“Bye.”

Questions, Comments, Feedback to Karen or Mediancat