Chris Jericho: Have you been watching this? I mean, first Matt and Jeff, and then those guards. The show started about ten minutes ago and the body count is already higher than the amount of time we've been on the air.

Rob Van Dam: Yeah Chris, but what can we do? JR already asked that we all leave them alone, or did you forget that already?

Chris Jericho: No Rob, I think you're the one forgetting something. Maybe you're forgetting who you "beat" last week to win that belt you're carrying around.

Rob Van Dam: Are you saying that I don't deserve my title?

Chris Jericho: I'm saying the only reason you have it is because those f*cks helped you to win it. Is that why you're sticking up for them?

Rob Van Dam: If you remember correctly, they beat my ass after the match too.

Chris Jericho: They why you, Rob? Why'd they let you take the title?

Rob Van Dam: Are you jealous, Jericho?

Chris Jericho: I just don't think you deserve it is all.

Rob Van Dam: If I didn't have a match with The Undertaker, I'd prove it to you tonight. Why don't we finish this at Judgment Day?

Chris Jericho: Because unlike you, I'm going to do something for the good of the company at the PPV. I'm going to defend the WWF's honor. Just remember this Rob, while your out defending that belt, I'm out defending the HONOR of that belt.

Cameron Cade: This whole ordeal is tearing everyone apart. Chris Jericho and Rob Van Dam are best friends, and look at them.

Torrie Wilson: Jericho's jealous.

Cameron Cade: Oh is he now?

Torrie Wilson: Well, duh.

•Molly Holly's theme music hits the speakers as she steps out onto the stage. The fans give her a face reaction as she walks down the ramp and slides into the ring.•

Cameron Cade: Why would Jericho be jealous of Rob Van Dam?

Torrie Wilson: Come on Cade, wouldn't you be jealous if I were a champion and you weren't?

Cameron Cade: Torrie, I would be completely supporitve.

Torrie Wilson: Aww...Really??

Cameron Cade: Totally.

Torrie Wilson: Umm.. *pop* Totally what?

Cameron Cade: Totally supportive...

Torrie Wilson: Okay.. but of what?

Cameron Cade: Nothing Torrie, nothing.

•Molly Holly's music cuts off and it's replaced by the Hardys' theme. Stacy appears on the stage and walks down the ramp.•

Cameron Cade: Stacy Keibler obviously without Matt and Jeff because of what happened earlier tonight at the hands of Kevin Nash.

Torrie Wilson: What happened?

Cameron Cade: Torrie...

•A clip plays on the screen showing Jeff Hardy calling out Scott Hall. Instead, they get Kevin Nash who does a number on both Hardys. The clip cuts off and the camera goes back to the ring. Stacy is climbing down from the turnbuckle. She turns around and walks right into a dropkick from Molly Holly. Stacy stumbles backward into the corner. Molly grabs her hair and monkey flips her across the ring. Holly gets to her feet and pulls Stacy up by her hair. She throws her into the ropes and takes her down with a clothesline. She makes the cover but Stacy quickly kicks out. Molly gets up and pushes the referee into the corner complaining about the slow count. Stacy gets to her feet and walks up behind Molly. She taps her on her shoulder and then spins her around. Stacy swings back and slaps Molly across the face. Molly goes to slap her back but Stacy blocks it and kicks her in the stomach. She drops her to the mat with a DDT. She goes for the cover. 1....2.... The referee is pulled out of the ring. A huge woman stands outside of the ring. She pulls herself onto the ring apron and flips over the top rope. Stacy stands up and backs right into the woman. She spins Stacy around and grabs her by the throat. She lifts her into the air and slams her down to the mat with a chokeslam. Molly slowly gets to her knees but the woman grabs her and puts her between her legs. She lifts her into the air and spikes her down to the mat with a powerbomb.•

Cameron Cade: That woman's a MONSTER!

Torrie Wilson: Her arms are bigger than yours Cade!

Cameron Cade: Where'd she come from?

Torrie Wilson: I don't know, she just appeared.

Cameron Cade: Well she had to come from somewhere.. you weren't paying attention?

Torrie Wilson: Well neither were you!

Cameron Cade: ...I'm getting word that The Rock has just arrived here to the arena. We're gonna go to the back with him right now.

•The camera cuts to the backstage area where The Rock is walking down a corridor toward his locker room. He turns a corner and walks right into Hulk Hogan.•

Hulk Hogan: Hey brother! How're you feeling today?

•The Rock tries to walk past Hogan, but The Hulkster stands in his way.•

The Rock: Can't you see that The Rock doesn't want to bother with you?

Hulk Hogan: Ya know something Rock, you truly are "The Great One". You're probably more popular right now than I ever was!

•Hogan looks off to the side as the fans chant, "Rocky Sucks! Rocky Sucks!"•

Hulk Hogan: So I can see why you wouldn't want to associate yourself with someone like me, someone that has the biggest pythons in the WWF *Hogan flexes his muscles*, with someone that has held the WWF Championship five times in the past, yeah Rock, I can see why you wouldn't want to be my friend, and my tag team partner. But tonight brother, I'm gonna show you what happens when you're against Hulkamania!

•The Rock lowers his head, his sunglasses sliding down to the tip of his nose. He raises his eyebrow and stares a hole right through Hogan.•

Hulk Hogan: I've got Spike Dudley in the ring tonight, bruh, and after I wipe the mat with his face, I'm gonna prove to you that if you're not running with the Hulkamaniacs, you're not running at all!

•Hogan goes to walk off but The Rock grabs his shoulder and whips him around.•

The Rock: Don't you ever threaten The Rock again.

•The Rock pushes Hogan out of his way and walks to his locker room.•

Cameron Cade: The Rock and Hogan are definitely not on the same page.

Torrie Wilson: No duh!

Cameron Cade: Torrie, don't you have anything useful to add?

Torrie Wilson: My momma always told me that if you don't have anything good to say about someone, not to say anything at all.

•"One self.... Is this on!?" The lights in the arena dim as multi-colored strobes illuminate the entrance. Triple H walks out onto the stage in street clothes. Chyna follows him out. The two stand at the top of the ramp as their theme continues to play. Hunter starts walking down the ramp. He throws his water bottle behind him. Chyna steps over it as she walks down the ramp. Hunter pulls himself onto the ring apron and climbs through the ropes. He walks over to the turnbuckle and climbs up, lifting his arms in the air. Chyna takes the mic away from the ring announcer and hands it to Hunter as he steps down from the turnbuckle.•

Triple H: Ya know, it's been about 8 years since I started up here in the WWF and through it all I've proved one thing... that I am the best. I have come out here week in and week out and proven that fact. I am the MVP of the WWF, I am the most valuable person here today and all of you people know it.

•The fans get on Triple H for being cocky, starting an "Asshole" chant.•

Triple H: Last week, someone got a little jealous. Someone got jealous that I am the one in the spotlight, I'm the one getting all of the attention. I'm pissed off and I want your ass in the ring now, SO GET OUT HERE!

•Hunter pulls the mic away from his mouth and stares at the stage. Chyna stands in front of Hunter, doing her job as his bodyguard. He looks over her shoulder to see if anyone is coming. He glances to the fans and then grabs Chyna by her hair, whipping her around to face him.•

Triple H: I'm talking about you, you little BITCH! Where the hell were you last week!? WHERE WERE YOU!? I HIRED YOU TO PROTECT ME! WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU!?

•He tightens his grip on her hair, lowering her to her knees.•

Triple H: You failed me, Chyna. You're nothing but a worthless piece of shit. If it weren't for me you would still be living from paycheck to paycheck. I MADE YOU A STAR, and you can't even take care of business. Where would you be if I had been killed last week? That bastard had me locked in that room for days and you didn't give a damn. You better watch wha-

•Chyna lunges forward and delivers a low-blow that knocks Triple H to his knees, which gets a huge pop from the sold-out crowd. She gets up and pulls the microphone from his hand.•

Chyna: No Hunter, you better watch out.

•She throws the mic on top of him and slides out of the ring.•

Torrie Wilson: YOU GO GIRL! WOOHOO!

Cameron Cade: Triple H trying to lay into Chyna but it ended the other way around.

Torrie Wilson: Chyna's my hero.

Cameron Cade: Is she really?

Torrie Wilson: Mhmm.. I'd give anything to be able to touch Triple H there.

•The camera cuts from the announcers to a locker room. Randy Orton and Trish Stratus are sitting on a couch in their locker room watching television. He moves his arm around her and pinches her side, causing her to jump. She lets out a yelp and then turns to him, smiling. He leans down to kiss her but someone knocks on their locker room door.•

Randy Orton: .....Come in?

•A man dressed in a theatre usher's uniform walks into the locker room. He looks a bit nervous. Trish and Randy stand up from the couch.•

Randy Orton: Can we help you?

Guy: I've been instructed to give this to Mr. Orton. Please make sure that he gets it.

•The man hands Randy a package, and then rushes out of the room. Randy unwraps the package and tosses the paper to the floor. It's a heart-shaped box. He glances up at Trish and reaches to hug her.•

Randy Orton: Honey, you really don't have to keep sending me presents. You know that I lov---

Trish Stratus: Who's it from Randy?

Randy Orton: You mean it's not from you? I thought they were from you?

•Trish picks up the paper that Randy threw to the ground. She looks up at him.•

Trish Stratus: Who is she Randy?

Randy Orton: What are you talking about? I'm telling you, I thought these were from you.

Trish Stratus: Yeah, well they're not.

•Trish starts walking back and forth.•

Trish Stratus: You know Randy, I can't keep doing this week in and week out. Come clean now.

Randy Orton: Dammit Trish, I told you, I don't know what the hell is going on. Here, take the damn thing.

•He hands her the box. She rips it from his hand and throws it at the wall behind him.•

Randy Orton: I don't know what the f*ck your problem is but if you can't believe me, maybe we shouldn't be together.

Trish Stratus: Maybe that's what you want.

•Trish picks her jacket up off of the couch and storms out of the room. Randy picks up the remote control and turns the tv off. He walks towards the door and follows after Trish. The camera turns around and zooms in on the box that Trish threw against the wall. It's open. Chocolates wrapped in gold foil spill out onto the floor.•

Cameron Cade: Wow.. You might get your wish after all, Torrie.

Torrie Wilson: What's that?

Cameron Cade: Looks like Randy and Trish are through.

Torrie Wilson: How'd you know I wished for that!?

Cameron Cade: Torrie, everyone knows you want to get in Randy's pants.

Torrie Wilson: OMIGOD! Really?! Did you tell everyone!?

Cameron Cade: Torrie! You tell them every week!

Torrie Wilson: Oh...

•Torrie is cut off by the familiar theme of Hollywood Hogan. He steps out onto the stage, strumming his air guitar as the fans give him a mixed reaction. He struts down the aisle, pointing out to the crowd. Climbing through the ropes, Garcia announces his stats. His music cuts off and he looks a little ticked as Spike's theme replaces it. The crowd erupts as the little Dudley walks out onto the stage and down the ramp. He slides under the bottom rope. Hogan begins his attack, not allowing Spike up to his feet. He puts the boots to his back and then pulls him up by his hair. He whips him into the ropes and nails him with the big boot. Spike falls to the mat. Hogan bounces off the ropes and nails the legdrop. He covers.•

Cameron Cade: This one might be over quick. One.. two.. What? Hogan just pulled Spike up. Now he's screaming that he's doing this for The Rock. I bet The Rock could give a rat's ass about what's happening in the ring right now.

Torrie Wilson: Well that's not really sportsmanlike.

Cameron Cade: For once, I agree with you Torrie.

Torrie Wilson: Don't do that.

Cameron Cade: Why not?

Torrie Wilson: Because, we're supposed to be disagreement. *pop*

•Hogan pulls Spike up by his hair, once again shouting that he's doing this for The Rock. He throws him into the turnbuckle and runs at him. He takes Spike's head off with a clothesline. He grabs him and whips him across the ring into the opposite turnbuckle. He runs at him but Spike is able to get his feet up. He knocks Hogan back with a dropkick and climbs to the top rope. He nails a body splash and hooks his leg. 1...2... Hogan throws Spike off of him. He gets to his feet but Spike is up too. He grabs Hogan's head and hooks him in a headlock. Hogan counters and back suplexes Spike to the mat. Hogan gets up and puts the kicks to Spike's midsection. He pulls him up by his arm and whips him into the ropes. He lifts Spike up for a back body drop but Spike counters and dropkicks Hogan to the mat. Spike gets to his feet fast and bounces off the ropes. As Hogan is getting to his feet, Spike catches his head in his arms. The young Dudley bounces himself off the second rope and drops Hogan to the mat with the Dudley Dog. He goes for the cover as the fans are going wild.•

Cameron Cade: Dudley might have it! One.. Two.. NO! Man, Hogan just got out of that one.

•Spike gets up and pulls Hogan to his feet. He backs him into the corner and climbs to the second rope. He starts punching on him but Hogan pushes him off. He bounces out of the turnbuckle and drops the leg onto Spike. He covers him and gets the three count.•

Cameron Cade: Hogan picks up the win here.

Torrie Wilson: What's new?

Cameron Cade: Excuse me?

Torrie Wilson: Oh come on Cade. We all know by now that every time Hogan or Hunter get in the ring they're going to win.

Cameron Cade: Yeah well..

Torrie Wilson: *pop*

•Mankind is walking around backstage carrying a barbed wire 2x4. He turns a corner and apparently finds what he's looking for. He sees Kane standing down the hall, talking to some officials. He takes off running. He nails Kane in the back of his leg with the 2x4. Kane falls to the ground, clutching at his knee. Mankind beats on Kane's chest with the piece of wood, tearing his suit open. Mankind throws the piece of wood down and pulls Kane up by his hair. He smashes his head against his own a few times and then pushes Kane onto a table. Kane tries to get up but Mankind picks up the piece of wood and smashes it against his mask. He throws it down and picks up a pipe that was knocked over. Kane rolls off the table and grabs Mankind from behind. He picks him up and back suplexes him through the table. Kane slowly gets up to his feet and Mankind bounces right back and knocks him in the knee with the pipe. He picks Kane up by his hair and pulls him down a hallway. He smashes his head against a metal door which opens from the impact. They're outside now. Foley whips Kane into the arena wall, his head leaving a blood stain on the bricks. Foley picks Kane up and slams him onto the ground. He walks away as Kane tries to pull himself to his feet. A car comes speeding by, Kane jumping out of the way just in time. The car crashes into the arena. Foley gets out of the driver's seat, screaming at Kane. He climbs onto the top of the car and jumps down onto an unsuspecting Kane. He pulls him by the hair and smashes his head into the window. He picks him up and rolls him onto the trunk of the car. Mankind climbs up too. He picks Kane up and puts him between his legs. He lifts up and spikes Kane down with a piledriver. The Big Red Machine rolls off the car, motionless. Mankind sits on top of the car, rocking back and forth.•

Cameron Cade: What is that man's problem!?

Torrie Wilson: He just got smashed into a car, I don't think he'll be getting up any time soon.

Cameron Cade: Not Kane, you halfwit, Mankind.

Torrie Wilson: Mhmm, he's just crazy.

•A handheld video camera turns on and the image isn't very clear. It comes into focus and it's filming a parking lot, packed with cars. Three people are barely heard talking about something. The camera turns and focuses on them. It's Stephanie McMahon and The Outsiders. They walk right past the car that our camera is behind. The person holding the camera slowly begins walking around the car. "He" walks into a car and the sudden sound causes Stephanie to stop walking. She turns around and looks behind her. The camera is focused right on her face, a face wrestling between confusion and fear. Kevin Nash turns around and cranes his neck to see if there's anything behind them. He doesn't see anything so he motions for them to keep walking. The person holding the camera zooms in on their backs as they walk away, the words "In due time." being repeated until the trio can no longer be seen.•

Cameron Cade: This place just keeps getting weirder and weirder.

Torrie Wilson: *pop* You're telling me!

•"You Think You Know Me?" Edge's theme song hits the speakers and strobe lights replace the house lights in the arena. Edge hops over the guard rail, not accompanied by Jazz. He slides into the ring and frisks the mat before hopping to the top rope.•

Cameron Cade: For whatever reason, Edge doesn't have Jazz by his side tonight.

Torrie Wilson: They're being disagreement.

Cameron Cade: Oh are they?

Torrie Wilson: I think Jazz borrowed Edge's hair brush and never returned it.

Cameron Cade: That's ridiculous.

Torrie Wilson: And I suppose you know why Jazz is not here, and why Edge's hair looks like he just lost a fight with a scarecrow!?

Cameron Cade: I'm just getting word that Jazz is late.. How's THAT, Torrie.

Torrie Wilson: How are you just getting word? Are you friends with someone from the Mount Holy Olive Second Baptist Zion Church of God and Christ!?

Cameron Cade: My headset..

Torrie Wilson: Your WHAT!? Now Cade, don't start talking about that again.

Cameron Cade: My headset, Torrie. The thing that we're both wearing on our heads.

Torrie Wilson: OH! That's what this contraception is?

•Randy Orton's theme song cuts off the two announcers as he walks out onto the stage, Trish Stratus nowhere to be seen. Randy has his IC title around his waist. He walks down the aisle and hops onto the ring apron. He takes his belt off and hands it to Hebner, then he flips over the top rope. He walks around the ring, looking at Edge. A collar and elbow tie up starts it off, with Randy getting the upper hand. He swings behind Edge and hooks him from behind. Edge unhooks Randy's hands and goes behind him. He hooks him around the waist and brings Randy down to one knee. Orton powers back and gets behind Edge again. Edge elbows him in the gut and bounces Randy off of the ropes. Randy runs back and knocks Edge down with a shoulder block. He hops over Edge and runs against the ropes. Edge gets to his feet and lifts Randy high into the air before dropping him flat on his face. Orton is quickly back up but Edge knocks him over the top rope with a dropkick. Orton climbs onto the apron and blocks Edge's attempt at knocking him back off. Randy goes for a punch but Edge slides between his legs and yanks Orton off of the apron. Edge punches Randy and then slides him back into the ring. Edge slides in and backs Orton into the corner. He whips him across the ring and goes for a clothesline but Randy lifts him up and throws him over the top rope. Edge holds on and lands on the apron. Orton tries to walk out of the corner but Edge grabs him by the hair and drops him to the mat. Edge climbs to the top rope and waits for Randy to get up before nailing a huge cross body.•

Cameron Cade: Edge might have it here! One.. Two.. NO! Randy getting his shoulder up. These two men met for the Intercontinental title at No Mercy two weeks ago with Randy picking up the win.

•Edge picks Randy up and bounces him off the ropes. Orton reverses and sends Edge in. Randy lowers his head to perform a back body drop and Edge kicks him right in the face. Edge grabs Orton's arm and hooks him for a suplex. Randy blocks it and lifts Edge up and then drops him on the top rope. Orton runs against the ropes, sending Edge flying off into the guard rail. Randy climbs out of the ring and puts the boots to Edge. He pulls him up by his hair and rolls him into the ring. Edge gets to his knees as Orton bounces himself off the ropes, then dropkicks Edge back down to the mat. Orton pulls Edge up by his hair and whips him into the ropes. He bounces back and gets caught in the stomach by Randy's knee. Edge flips over in the air and lands hard on his back. Orton quickly makes a cover. 1...2... Edge gets his shoulder up. Orton picks Edge up and raises his knee to Edge's mid-section. He whips him off the ropes and goes for another knee lift but Edge reverses and rolls Orton up for the pin.•

Torrie Wilson: NO!! Get up Randy!

Cameron Cade: 1...2.... NO! Edge almost had it!

Torrie Wilson: No he didn't.. *pop* Shut up Cade.

•Randy barely gets out in time. Randy quickly gets to his feet and kicks Edge below the belt. He hooks Edge around the neck and drops him to the mat with a face-first suplex. He goes for the cover but Edge gets his shoulder up. Orton drops his knee onto Edge's mid-section and goes for another cover. He almost has the match won but Edge barely gets up. Orton starts taunting Edge, kicking him on the side of his head. Orton keeps kicking him as Edge slowly gets to his feet. Edge nails Randy in the stomach with a right hand which knocks him backward. Edge gets up to one knee and punches Orton again. He's up to his feet now and he whips Orton into the ropes. He goes for a dropkick but Orton grabs onto the top rope and Edge falls to the mat. Orton grabs Edge's legs and tries hooking him for a Sharpshooter but Edge counters and pushes Orton into the turnbuckle. Randy bounces out and Edge hooks the inside cradle. 1...2... NO! Orton throws Edge off and gets to his feet. He kicks him in his abdominal area and drops Edge to the mat. Randy gets up and kicks at Edge's ribcage. Orton pulls Edge up by his hair and pushes him into the corner. He repeatedly thrusts his shoulder into Edge's mid-section. Orton gets cocky and slaps Edge across the face. Edge gets pissed and knocks Orton in the head with a right hand. He gets out of the turnbuckle and continues punching Randy. Orton blocks one and buries his knee into Edge's side and bounces him off the ropes. He goes for a back elbow but Edge ducks under it and goes for a superkick. Randy grabs Edge's leg and pulls him into his body. He picks him up and flings him over his head with a belly to belly suplex. Randy gets up and kicks Edge directly in the head. He turns him over so that he's laying on his stomach and drops an elbow to his back. He places his knee on Edge's lower back and wrenches his head back. Randy holds onto Edge's head as he slowly gets to his feet. Edge begins elbowing Randy in his mid-section and finally gets him to break the hold. Edge goes for a clothesline but Orton grabs his arm and superkicks Edge down to the mat. Randy runs against the ropes and drops a leg onto the fallen Edge. He hooks the leg but Edge gets out of it. Randy gets up and argues with the ref as Edge pulls himself to his feet. Randy turns his attention back to Edge who has made his way to his feet. He punches Orton a few times and then tries to whip him against the ropes but Randy reverses it and sends Edge in. He hooks Edge with an abdominal stretch in the center of the ring. Orton punches Edge on his side a few times, causing more pain to the already injured area. Orton grabs onto Edge's tights for extra leverage. Edge gets some strength back and flips Orton over him. Randy lands on his feet and tries to throw Edge over the top rope. Edge reverses and sends Randy over. Orton lands on the apron and grabs Edge's head. He knocks it into the turnbuckle and then climbs to the top rope. He flies off, going for a splash. Edge catches Orton and slams him down to the mat.•

Cameron Cade: REVERSAL! 1..2.. NO! MAN! Edge coming so close to winning here.

Torrie Wilson: Edge isn't gonna win! Edge isn't gonna win! Edge isn't gonna win! Edge isn't gonna win!

•Both men slowly get to their feet and exchange blows. Orton gets the upperhand and goes for a clothesline but Edge ducks under and knocks Randy to the mat with a clothesline of his own. Randy hops up but gets knocked back down by another clothesline. Orton gets up again and Edge whips him off the ropes. He picks him up and drops him to the mat with a huge back body drop. Edge bounces against the ropes and knocks Randy down with a spinning side kick. He goes for the cover. 1..2.. NO! Frustrated, Edge picks Randy up . Orton quickly nails Edge with a jawbreaker. He hooks Edge for a suplex but Edge goes behind Randy and drops him to the mat with a reverse DDT. He goes for the cover but Orton kicks out, his leg hitting Edge right in the fact. Edge and Randy both get to their feet and Orton whips him into the ropes. He goes for a hurricanrana but Edge blocks it and drops him to the mat with a powerbomb. He stays in the pinning position and almost gets the three count. Edge gets to his feet and pulls Orton up too. He whips him into the ropes but Orton reverses it and grabs Edge's leg. He hooks on the Sharpshooter in the middle of the ring. Edge overpowers Orton by making his way to the corner of the ring. Edge grabs onto the bottom rope and begins pulling himself up. Orton breaks the hold and falls to the mat as Edge grabs both of his legs and hooks him in the Sharpshooter. Orton crawls like a dog over to the bottom rope and holds on for dear life. The referee makes Edge break the hold. Trish Stratus walks onto the stage and then makes her way down the ramp.•

Cameron Cade: And look who it is. The lovely Trish Stratus making her way to the ring.

Torrie Wilson: What do she want!? *pop* She bes' recanize dat my Randy don't be wantin' her no more.

Cameron Cade: Torrie... Just stop.

•Randy is up to his feet and he yanks Edge up by his tights. He motions for the title belt and Trish gets onto the ring apron with it. Orton whips Edge into the ropes but Edge reverses and sends Orton right into Trish, knocking her off the apron. Orton turns around and gets kicked low. Edge grabs him and drops him to the mat with the Edgecution. He flips him over.•

Cameron Cade: The plan backfired! One.. Two.. THREE!

Torrie Wilson: NO!

Cameron Cade: YES!

Torrie Wilson: NO!

Cameron Cade: YES!

Torrie Wilson: *pop*

Cameron Cade: ....

•Edge rolls out of the ring and raises his arms into the air. The bizarre Goldust walks out onto the stage and walks down the ramp. He stops behind Edge and Edge backs into him. Goldust works his hands all over Edge's body. Edge turns around and, seeing that it's Goldust, pushes him away and runs up the ramp, disappearing behind the curtain. Goldust walks down to the ring and slides in under the bottom rope. He seductively crawls around the ring, finally turning to look at Randy Orton. He slides over to him and lays next to him. He opens his robe slightly and sticks his hand in. He throws his head back and pulls out a gold-plated cup. He gently places it on top of Randy's crotch. He rolls out of the ring and walks over to Trish Stratus. He picks her up and gives her a huge kiss on the mouth. He throws her aside and walks up the ramp and behind the curtain.•

Cameron Cade: What was THAT all about?

Torrie Wilson: Oh.. My.. God. What a FREAK! Eww!

Cameron Cade: Goldust, making his presence felt here in the WWF right away.

Torrie Wilson: His name is Goldust? What kind of a name is that?

Cameron Cade: What kind of a name is Torrie?

Torrie Wilson: A very, VERY pretty one! Do you have a problem with that!?

Cameron Cade: No, No I don't.

•The camera cuts to Jim Ross' office where there are a handful of superstars surrounding his desk.•

Test: What was up with that Jim? How'd he get the keys last week?

Jerry Lawler: Yeah!

Jim Ross: No! Now you listen here. What happened last week wasn't anything that I did. I wasn't even in my office when he came in here. And who are you to doubt me anyway!? There's no sense in thinking that I would be behind this! None at all!

•Just then, the door swings open and Chris Jericho walks in. He nudges a few of the wrestlers out of the way and makes his way to JR's desk.•

Chris Jericho: You.. We need to talk.

Jim Ross: What is it Chris?

Chris Jericho: I don't have a match for Judgment Day and I want one. I want Kevin Nash in the ring so I can shut him up once and for all.

Jim Ross: Now you know I can't make that match. They aren't a part of this company.

Chris Jericho: Ross, I don't care what you have to do, I was his ass at the pay per view.

Jim Ross: You know what Chris, I think I know the man that can make that match happen. I'll let you know. Now everyone, please go.

•The wrestlers start to leave. Jericho looks over his shoulder at JR.•

Chris Jericho: We can't mess this one up, chief.

•The camera cuts to a director's chair. Written along the back is "Goldust" in a fancy lettering. Goldust walks into the picture, slowly, seductively.•

Goldust: "Victims.. Aren't we all?" Brandon Lee, The Crow.. 1996. Randy, my love, you too are a victim. You're being victimized by the greatest evil of all, a woman. A woman whose heart is so darkened with hate and jealousy that she can't possibly love you any more. Her love has now faded and yours will too. Your love will be but a mere memory in your head, an idea easily replaced with a new love. That love with is undoubtedly true to you and forever will be, my own. My love for you is deep, and will grow deeper with time, and you will see Randy, your eyes will open and you will be blinded by my growing.. love for you. And when that day comes, oh you will never.. forget the name of... Goooooolduuuuuust.

•Goldust sits back in his chair, blowing a kiss to the camera.•

Torrie Wilson: That man gives me the willies!

Cameron Cade: Well, he sure is attracted to your man, that's for sure.

Torrie Wilson: He better not lay a finger on my butterfinger!

Cameron Cade: What?

Torrie Wilson: Goldust is the he and my butterfinger is my Randy Poo.

Cameron Cade: Makes a bit more sense now.. Just a bit..

•A funeral bell cuts off the announcers as the arena goes pitch black. Smoke flows out of the stage as The Undertaker's theme music starts up. Paul Bearer walks out onto the stage holding the urn high in the air. The Undertaker follows him out, the fans going wild.•

Cameron Cade: The Undertaker and Rob Van Dam scheduled to face-off for the World title.

Torrie Wilson: Cade, do you love me?

Cameron Cade: Well.. erm...

Torrie Wilson: CADE, do you love me?

Cameron Cade: Of course I do sweetie.

Torrie Wilson: Then stop talking like Tony Schawanny.. Whatever he is.

•The Undertaker raises his arms in the air and the arena lights come back on. He steps through the ropes and Paul Bearer takes his jacket and tie from him. His music cuts off and it's replaced by RVD's theme. The fans shout their approval as the World champion walks down the ramp. He hops onto the ring apron and jumps over the top rope, raising his arms into the air when his feet land on the ring mat. He walks around the ring, eyeing the Undertaker. He takes a lunge for him as the bell rings. The Undertaker grabs RVD in a collar and elbow tie-up and pushes him across the ring. RVD hops back to his feet and runs at him again. The Undertaker pushes him away. RVD gets back up and circles around The Undertaker. The Undertaker's eyes follow him. He turns around and takes a quick swing but RVD ducks and kicks him in the back of the head. The Undertaker remains still, unphased by the kick.•

Cameron Cade: I think RVD is gonna have a hard time winning this one.

Torrie Wilson: The Undertaker's got a case of Triple H-ism.

Cameron Cade: Are you making up diseases again?

Torrie Wilson: He aint sellin' for no one!

•The Undertaker goes to grab Van Dam but RVD ducks under him and kicks him in the back of the leg. The Undertaker loses his balance and falls to the mat. RVD bounces himself off the ropes and flips in mid-air, then lands on The Undertaker's stomach. Van Dam gets up and pulls The Undertaker up by his hair. He pushes him into the turnbuckle and starts punching on him. He backflips out of the corner and runs at Taker but The Undertaker grabs him by his throat. Taker uses his strength to switch positions with RVD, throwing him into the turnbuckle. He punches wildly until RVD slumps to the ground. The Undertaker picks him up and whips him across the ring. He runs to him but RVD leapfrogs over him, catching The Undertaker's head between his legs and driving him down to the mat with a headscissors. He makes the cover but The Undertaker gets his shoulder up at the count of two. RVD pulls Undertaker up by his hair and whips him into the ropes. The Undertaker reverses it and sends RVD in. He goes for the big boot but RVD catches his foot and drops The Undertaker to the mat with a legwhip. Van Dam keeps the leg hooked and gets to his feet. He stomps on the back of Undertaker's knee and then drops an elbow onto it. He grabs Taker's leg again and wrenches back on it. The Undertaker grabs RVD by his ponytail and begins beating on the back of his head until Van Dam let's go of his leg. RVD hops up as The Undertaker tries using the ropes to get to his feet.•

Cameron Cade: Van Dam doing the smart thing here and going after those long legs of The Undertaker. Keep 'em on his back and he's as good as done.

Torrie Wilson: Just like you.

Cameron Cade: TORRIE!

•RVD runs at The Undertaker and clotheslines him over the top rope. The momentum brings Van Dam to the arena floor also. The Undertaker lands on his feet and grabs RVD by his neck. He lifts him into the air and throws him into the ring post. He runs at him but Van Dam grabs onto the ring post and pulls his feet into the air, hooking them around Undertaker's head. He goes for a hurricanrana but The Undertaker blocks it and powerbombs Van Dam to the arena floor. He stumbles and holds himself up using the ring apron. He grabs RVD by his hair and slides him into the ring. The Undertaker tries getting into the ring but Mankind grabs him by his foot and pulls him back out of the ring. He spits something into The Undertaker's face that looks like blood. He grabs Taker by his head and rams him into the ring steps. The referee calls for the ring bell. Mankind picks The Undertaker up and rams his face into the announce table. RVD gets to his feet and bounces off the ropes. He flips over the top rope and lands on both Mankind and The Undertaker.•

Cameron Cade: Good Lord!

Torrie Wilson: ...Not my name.

Cameron Cade: RVD just landed right in front of us.. he took out Mankind and The Undertaker.

•Steve Corino jumps over the crowd barricade and spears RVD down to the arena floor. He pulls a pair of brass knuckles out of his pants and starts wailing away at Van Dam. Kevin Nash and Scott Hall climb over and take turns beating on Mankind. Nash picks up a chair and waits for The Undertaker to pull himself together. Taker turns around looking for Mankind and gets hit with the steel chair right between the eyes. Nash throws the chair down and grabs The Undertaker. He puts him between his legs and lifts him high into the air, then sends him crashing down through the announce table with a Jacknife. Hall grabs the chair that Nash had and puts it on Mankind's head. He jumps into the air and stomps down on it. Corino rolls RVD into the ring. Nash picks up the chair that's on Mankind's head and tries to take the dents out by beating it against the ground. He throws it over the top rope as Hall climbs through the ropes. Nash pulls himself onto the apron as Hall and Corino take turns beating on RVD. Nash climbs in and holds Van Dam up by his hair. Corino grabs the chair and has Hall hold it in front of Van Dam's head. He bounces off the ropes and superkicks the chair into Van Dam's face. Nash still has RVD up by his hair. He turns him around and puts him between his legs. He picks him up and SLAMS him down onto the chair with a Jacknife. Stephanie grabs the title belt from the ring announcer and climbs up the ring steps. She hands it to Corino who holds it high into the air as the four bastards stand around the lifeless body of the World champion.•