Jerry Lawler: We are the WWF and we're live from Boston, Mass. I'm your host Jerry "The King" Lawler and sitting to my right is the always beautiful, Torrie Wilson.
•The King looks over to Torrie who is staring down at a piece of paper. She blows a bubble with her bubble gum and let's it pop loudly into the headset. Lawler taps her on the shoulder, startling her.•
Jerry Lawler: Torrie, that's your cue..
Torrie Wilson: OH! Like, my bad. Hi, I'm Torrie Wilson. I'm from St. Paul, Minnesota. My hobbies are dating, guys, and like, dating guys! *giggle*
Was that good enough Mr. King?
Jerry Lawler: Oh Jesus, help me!
•No sooner saying that, the familiar Oklahoma fight song hits the speakers as WWF CEO Jim Ross walks out onto the stage, receiving a nice ovation from the fans. He gets into the ring and takes the microphone from Lilian Garcia.•
Jim Ross: Welcome.. to Monday Night Raw! Before getting down to business, I'd like to first thank each and every one of you for making the WWF's return to national television possible. It's you, the fans, that have made this return worthwhile. And for you fans, I'm preparing what is to be a huge night. Tonight, in this very ring, The King of Old School, Steve Corino, will meet Mr. Monday Night, Rob Van Dam, in a WWF Championship tournament match! Also tonight, D-Generation X will be in action. Triple H & Shawn Michaels, tonight in this very ring, will square off against... each other!
•The crowd, not many of them being fans of D-X, likes the sound of this.•
Jim Ross: If either of these men want the WWF title bad enough, they'll have to prove it tonight. There's not going to be any lying down for the other man. These two have got to have a wrestling match. And if they don't, they're both suspended.. without pay! So, Michaels.. Helmsley, tonight we're playing by my rules.
•The crowd pops again.•
Jim Ross: Ladies and Gentlemen, I'd like to thank you for coming tonight and I hope you enjoy the show.
•Jim Ross hands the microphone back to Lilian and proceeds to walk up the ramp. The camera turns back to Jerry Lawler and Torrie Wilson.•
Jerry Lawler: Did you hear that Torrie!? JR is gonna make Triple H and Shawn Michaels wrestle each other tonight!
Torrie Wilson: Dude, that is like so not fair. I seriously don't know what his problem is but like, he needs to *bubble gum pop* lay off. I mean, like,
they're partners and all.
Jerry Lawler: Yes Torrie, that's the----
•Out of nowhere, Jerry Lawler is knocked from his seat. The camera pulls back to show Cameron Cade, of OCW fame, stepping over the guard rail. He grabs Lawler by the back of his jacket and heaves him into the steel steps. He turns around and walks over to the announce table. He picks up a headset and puts it on, taking a seat next to Torrie.•
Cameron Cade: Is this seat taken?
Torrie Wilson: Omigod! You're like that dude from that other wrestling place! Omigod!
Cameron Cade: S'what I thought, sweetie.
•The camera cuts to the backstage area where Chyna and Billy Gunn are trying to talk to calm Shawn Michaels and Triple H down about what Jim Ross just said.•
Chyna: Come on Hunter.. settle down!
Billy Gunn: Yeah come on you guys.. We're D-Generation X. Do you think we're going to let some old hokey like Jim Ross get his way? HELL NO! Me
and Chyna.. we gotta go take care of that sissy Jeff Hardy and his little girlfriend but when we come back, we're gonna think up a plan.
•Chyna walks towards the door to the locker room but when she reaches it, it opens. Jim Ross walks in.•
Jim Ross: You might just be D-Generation X, Mr. Ass, but that isn't going to do anything for you tonight. You and Chyna, you're barred from
ringside.
Shawn Michaels: What the hell is your problem, Ross?
Jim Ross: I suggest you get out of my face before I suspend you, Mr. Michaels. Billy Gunn, you and Chyna will be escorted out of the arena to
your hotel as soon as your match is over. And Michaels, if you or Helmsley try to pull any funny stuff out there, you'll both be taken out of the tournament.
•JR leaves the locker room. Triple H kicks over a tv stand, sending sparks flying everywhere.•
Cameron Cade: It looks to me like Jim Ross is throwing his power around. First making the match between Trips and Michaels and then
barring Chyna and Gunn from ringside.. I can't say I disagree with him but it seems to me like he's taking it too far.
Torrie Wilson: Yeah, umm.. *pop* totally!
Cameron Cade: *mumbling* Where's Chase...?
•The lights in the arena go out and purple strobes illuminate the entrance. The familiar music of the Hardy Boys hits the speakers as Jeff and Stacy Keibler walk onto the stage and pose for the fans, who give them a good ovation. They climb into the ring as their music cuts off and D-X's theme blares out. Chyna and Billy Gunn walk onto the stage wearing matching attire. The fans immediately begin booing them as they walk down the aisle. Jeff bounces off the ropes and performs a baseball slide into Billy Gunn's face, knocking him to the concrete. Chyna pulls herself onto the ring apron but Stacy runs at her and knocks her off, into the guard rail. Jeff slides out of the ring and pulls Mr. Ass up by his hair. He grabs him by the tights and rolls him into the ring. Jeff hops onto the ring apron and then to the top rope. He jumps off and nails a legdrop onto Gunn. He goes for the cover but Mr. Ass kicks out before three. Jeff picks Gunn up and whips him into the turnbuckle. He runs at him but Mr. Ass moves out of the way, causing Jeff to crash into the corner. Mr. Ass pulls Jeff's head backwards and drops him down with a neckbreaker. He covers him but Jeff gets out. Mr. Ass pulls Jeff up by his hair and pushes him into his team's corner of the ring. He makes the tag to Chyna.•
Cameron Cade: Here, the Ninth Wonder of the World, Chyna with the tag.
Torrie Wilson: She scares me.. She's just like so big and stuff.. She reminds me of that guy from that one show..
Cameron Cade: SHE reminds you of that GUY? *rolls eyes* Need I put in for a transfer already?
•Chyna pulls Jeff out of the corner a little but knocks him with a forearm that sends him back in. She pulls him by the arm and whips him across the ring. She runs and tries to perform her handspring elbow but Jeff moves out of the way. Stacy grabs hold of Chyna's head and smashes it into the turnbuckle. Chyna staggers out and walks right into a dropkick. Jeff tags in Stacy who immediately drops an elbow on Chyna. She picks her up and whips her into the ropes. Stacy goes for a big foot but Chyna catches her foot and clotheslines her down to the mat hard. She covers Stacy but before the ref can count to three, she picks her up by her hair. She throws Stacy into the ropes and back body drops her down to the mat. Chyna walks over to her corner and tags in Mr. Ass. Gunn bounces off the ropes and drops a leg onto Stacy. He goes for the cover but Jeff hops in and breaks it up. The referee tells Jeff to get out which allows Chyna and Mr. Ass to double team on Stacy. Gunn slides out of the ring, leaving Chyna in as "legal". She throws Stacy into the corner and runs at her. Stacy gets her foot up and knocks Chyna in the jaw. The Ninth Wonder stumbles back and Stacy runs at her, clotheslining her down. Both women are now down. Chyna slowly starts crawling towards her corner, as does Stacy. Chyna gets the tag in to Mr. Ass. He climbs into the ring and runs at Stacy but she is able to tag in Jeff. Gunn tries to back away from Hardy but Jeff has none of it. He bounces himself off the ropes, and ducks under Gunn's attempt at a clothesline. He runs against the opposite set of ropes and dropkicks Mr. Ass to the mat. Chyna gets in the ring but Stacy gets to her feet and clotheslines Chyna over the top rope. Jeff grabs Mr. Ass's legs and performs a legdrop between them. He rips off his shirt and climbs to the top rope. He signals for the Swanton Bomb and nails it. He goes for the cover. 1...2...3!•
Cameron Cade: There are your winners, Jeff Hardy and Stacy Keibler!
Torrie Wilson: Was that cheating? When Jeff did that move to Mr. Ass' no-no spot. Couldn't that like hurt a man?
Cameron Cade: Well, I'm pretty sure it did hurt Torrie.. But as far as I know, that's as legal as a crossface.
Torrie Wilson: *pop* A what?
Cameron Cade: A cro-- What's happening?
•Security runs down the aisle, followed by Jim Ross. He gets in the ring and tells the security to take Billy Gunn and Chyna out of the ring. They do as they're told.•
Cameron Cade: I guess good ol' JR lived up to his promise.. D-X is out of here!
Torrie Wilson: Yeah but like, they didn't cheat.. They like didn't even win..
Cameron Cade: No Torrie, he's making Chyna and Mr. Ass leave because of what they were talking about earlier with Shawn and Hunter.
Torrie Wilson: What were they talking about?
Cameron Cade: A few minutes ago when they were talking about a plan for advancing in the championship tournament..
Torrie Wilson: Billy Gunn and Chyna are in the championship tournament?
Cameron Cade: No Torrie... No.
•In the back, security is shown escorting Chyna and Mr. Ass to a police car. Triple H and Shawn Michaels run up to the car and bang on the windows for the cops to stop. The police drive off, leaving HBK and Triple H standing alone.•
Cameron Cade: I guess JR means business Torrie. He's not going to let anyone tell him how to run his WWF. He's not Vince McMahon.
Torrie Wilson: But what I'm confused about *pop*..
•Before Torrie can get her sentence out, the camera once again cuts to the back. This time, we're in a dark room. Huddled in a corner is a dark shadow. The shadow moves suddenly when it realizes that someone else is in the room. It turns out to be Mankind. He's rocking back in forth in the corner. In his hand, The Undertaker's urn.•
Mankind: I'm all alone.. Here in my spot... This is my home, Undertaker.. This is what I am.. I'm a beast.. I'm a freak, Undertaker.. You know what it's like to be a freak don't you, Undertaker.. You know.. YOU KNOW GOD DAMMIT WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE A FREAK! You're a freak, Undertaker.. That you are. Do you know what happens to freaks? DO YOU!? Freaks burn in hell, Undertaker... They burn for eternity. Do you see this? *holds up the urn* Do you see what I've got, Undertaker? This is yours.. This is you. And do you know what this means to me? This means the world to me, Undertaker. This is your power.. your faith... your life.. All in this little iron bottle. I could crush you with this Undertaker. What I did to you last week was only the beginning... You didn't get the chance to let anyone rest in peace last week, Undertaker... because I left you resting.. in pieces..
•Mankind goes back to rocking back and forth, petting the urn as if it were an animal.•
Cameron Cade: That man is sick! He gets off thinking about wh--
Torrie Wilson: He gets off? *pop* On what Cade?
Cameron Cade: Torrie, Torrie, Torrie..
•A siren goes off in the arena letting the fans know that Mike Awesome is on his way to the ring. The former ECW champion steps out onto the stage as the fans give him somewhat of a mixed reaction, however there are more boos than cheers.•
Cameron Cade: This man is dangerous, Torrie.
Torrie Wilson: Yeah, he looks big and scary! Where was he from Cade?
Cameron Cade: A former ECW Heavyweight champion. I'd personally like to give a shout out to one, Chase Cassidy, my partner in crime, who
is in the ECW right now.
Torrie Wilson: Oh Cade, could you get fired for mentioning *whispering* ECW.. on tv?
Cameron Cade: Torrie, you just mentioned them.
Torrie Wilson: Omigod! Are you joking!?
Cameron Cade: *tapping on his headset* This little baby could pick up a stomach grumbling.. I'm sure it picked up your little whisper..
•Spike Dudley's theme hits the speakers and he runs down the aisle. He slides into the ring and takes a run at Mike Awesome. He goes for a spear but Mike dodges it. Spike lands on his knees in the corner. He gets up and turns around to face Awesome. He runs at him again but this time Mike grabs him by the hair. He picks him up and tosses him into the corner. He runs at him but Spike ducks down and slams his shoulder into Awesome's gut. Mike slouches over and Spike hops over him. He bounces himself off the ropes and secures Mike Awesome's head under his arm. He jumps into the air and drops Awesome to the mat with a bulldog. He goes for the cover but Mike easily kicks out. Spike quickly gets back to his feet and runs against the ropes. As Awesome gets to his knees, Spike drops a knee onto Mike's back.•
Cameron Cade: Spike Dudley sure is taking it to Mike Awesome here.
Torrie Wilson: These guys, both were in *whispers and pulls the headset away from her mouth* ECW *puts it back* a few years ago but now
they're in the WWF and they're trying for IC gold.
Cameron Cade: It's the European title but I'm proud Torrie, you're getting better and better.
Torrie Wilson: Why thank you Cade.
•Spike tries to pick Awesome up to his feet but Awesome grabs on to the bottom rope. Spike tries again but Awesome pulls Spike into him and clotheslines him down. Awesome gets to his feet and grabs one of Spike's legs. He places it on the bottom rope and steps on it. He jumps into the air and drops an elbow onto the leg. He gets up and pulls Spike up by his hair. He throws him into the ropes. Spike bounces back and gets knocking on his ass by a big boot. Awesome covers him. 1...2... Spike gets his bottom foot on the rope. Awesome sees this and he grabs Spike's leg. He yanks it off the bottom rope and yanks Spike into the air. He dangles him by his leg before throwing him into the air and letting him fall to the canvas. Mike toys with the crowd. He climbs to the top rope and signals for an Awesome Splash. Awesome leaps off the top rope and squashes Spike with his splash. He goes for the cover.•
Cameron Cade: It's gotta be over right here. One.. two.. th--What he hell? What happened to the lights?
•The lights in the arena are off. On the titantron, Mankind is shown laying motionless on the floor. Next to him, the urn is spinning in circles. The lid pops off and a light illuminates the locker room. The light slowly dims and the lights in the arena come back on.•
Cameron Cade: What the hell was that?
Torrie Wilson: I didn't sign up for MTV's Fear! This wasn't on the job application!
Cameron Cade: Look! Spike's got that chair!
•As Awesome was busy watching the titan tron, Spike rolled out of the ring and picked up a chair. Now, he takes a swing from behind Mike and knocks him to his knees. He takes another swing and knocks Mike out. He tosses the chair out of the ring, and taps the ref on the shoulder, who is still staring at the titan tron. Spike covers Awesome as the ref counts. 1...2...3!•
Cameron Cade: Spike Dudley is going on to No Mercy to participate in the European title match.
Torrie Wilson: Umm.. Cade.. was that like a ghost that hurt Mankind?
Cameron Cade: Torrie, I was so proud of you a few minutes ago.. Don't ruin it.
•Backstage, in the D-X locker room, Triple H and Shawn Michaels are preparing for their match.•
Shawn Michaels: Ok Hunter, listen.. I'll hop into the ring and I'll superkick you. Then, one two three. Simple as that.
Triple H: One thing Shawn, why do you get to advance?
Shawn Michaels: Hunter, we've gone through this...
•The camera cuts to another locker room where The Rock is pacing back and forth. The door to the room opens and in walks none other than "The Hulkster" Hulk Hogan. The Rock takes a step towards him but Hogan backs him off.•
Hulk Hogan: Whoa, whoa, whoa Rock! First thing's first, brother, you need to realize that when I went to the ring last Monday night, I went out there to help you, brother. If it wouldn't have been for that hasbeen Chris Jericho out there, you would've won that world title shot. And then, that measly little Rob Van Dam stuck HIS nose in our busin--
•The Rock holds up his hand.•
The Rock: Hulk Hogan.. HollyWOOOOD.. Let The Rock tell you something.. you do NOT barge into The Rock's dressing room and start throwing
out accusations.. at The Rock. Last Monday night, it was YOU Hulk Hogan that cost The Rock his shot. Well tonight, The Rock will show you how you help a tag team partner. Tonight,
The Rock will show you how to be electrifying. Tonight, Hulk Hogan, The Rock will show you.. how to become.. a champion. If ya smeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelll-la-la-la-la-laaaaaaaOW..
what The Ro---
Hulk Hogan: I smell it Rock.. Just watch my back, brother.
•Hogan leaves the room leaving The Rock standing still, his eyebrow raised.•
Cameron Cade: The Rock and Hulk Hogan are definitely not on the same page after what happened last week on Raw.
Torrie Wilson: How do YOU know what happened last week, smartie? *pop*
Cameron Cade: It's called cable television, blondie.
•"Are You Ready?" Shawn Michaels steps out from behind the curtain and walks down the ramp, alone. He looks back to the entrance a few times as if he were waiting for someone to follow him.•
Cameron Cade: Michaels looking a little ticked off that he doesn't have his D-X crew with him.
•"One self.. This on?" The lights in the arena go out as multi-colored strobe lights flash around the entrance stage. Triple H steps out onto the stage as the fans give him somewhat of a mixed reaction. He walks down the aisle, glaring at Shawn.•
Cameron Cade: I don't know what Shawn Michaels said to Triple H after the cameraman got out of their locker room, but neither of these two
look too pleased with the other. Torrie, care to join me any time you'd like.
Torrie Wilson: ...I'm not a blondie!
Cameron Cade: Oh, I know honey, I was joking....
•As Triple H climbs into the ring, Shawn Michaels takes the microphone from Lilian Garcia.•
Shawn Michaels: If it's a wrestling match you want, Ross, it's a wrestling match you're gonna get!
•He throws the mic down and Triple H runs at him. Michaels ducks under a clothesline and locks Hunter into a sleeperhold. Hunter immediately falls to the mat with HBK still holding onto the hold. Michaels tells Hebner to check and see if Hunter has passed out yet. Earl lifts Triple H's arm up into the air once, and it falls to the mat. He does this a second time, and again, it falls. The third time, it falls again. He reluctantly calls for the bell.•
Cameron Cade: Well I'll be damned. The sons of bitches pulled it off.
Torrie Wilson: I don't think that Mr. JR is going to settle for that.
Cameron Cade: It's doubtful, but the fact of the matter is, Shawn Michaels and Triple H pulled it off. They were told to have a wrestling
match, and they finished the match off with a wrestling maneuver.
Torrie Wilson: What was that called? The duck-under-go-behind-take-their-head-wrap-your-arms-around-pull-tight-put-em-to-sleep hold?
Cameron Cade: Yes, or the sleeper hold...
•Randy Orton is walking down the hall towards the ring, Trish Stratus following him close behind. The duo pass Edge, who is getting himself a soda.•
Edge: Hey Randy, good luck out there tonight. Just remember, you'll have me at the PPV if you can get rid of Hogan.
Randy Orton: IF I can get past Hogan? Whatsamatter Edge.. You don't think I've got what it takes to beat that dinosaur?
Edge: Whoa there Tonto.. I was just saying..
Randy Orton: You were just saying NOTHING! Get out of my way! Come on Trish..
•Randy holds out his hand for Trish to attach on to and the two walk past Edge. The camera cuts to Triple H and Shawn Michaels quickly running out of the arena with their luggage. JR is blocking the exit.•
Jim Ross: You two think you pulled a fast one out there, don't you?
Shawn Michaels: We told you not to mess with us Ross. We had a "wrestling" match and it's over. We're done.
Jim Ross: That might be the case Shawn, and congradulations on your win. It looks like you're going on to No Mercy. But Triple H, you're going
to No Mercy too. You might've pulled a fast one on me, but now, I'm pullin a fast one on you. At No Mercy, it's D-Generation X taking on The Hardy Boys, Stacy Keibler, and a mystery
man.
Shawn Michaels: YOU CAN'T DO THAT!
Jim Ross: There's a possibility that you'll be in three matches Shawn. I hope you realize that I'm not Mr. McMahon and that what I say.. goes!
Now, you two may leave.
•JR steps aside and motions for Michaels and Hunter to leave. Shawn kicks the door open and storms out of the arena while Triple H glares at Ross.•
Cameron Cade: I knew JR wouldn't settle for it.
Torrie Wilson: Hey umm.. Cade.. umm.. Who is Mystery Man? I don't think I've seen him around.
Cameron Cade: No Torrie, his name isn't Mystery Man.
Torrie Wilson: Then what is it?
Cameron Cade: It's a surprise.
Torrie Wilson: I'm supposed to commemorate these matches and I can't even know who is going to be in them!?
Cameron Cade: No Torrie, you're supposed to commentate during these matches, and I'm not even sure if the Hardys know who their partner
is going to be.
Torrie Wilson: Then why would they choose him as their partner?
Cameron Cade: I think I hear Hogan's music..
•"I Am A Real American..." Hulk Hogan struts onto the ramp wearing the red and yellow colors of Hulkamania. Many fans in the crowd want to cheer for him, but his alliance with The Rock stops them.•
Cameron Cade: There he is.. the one and only. Hogan, a 7-time WCW Heavyweight champion, and a former WWF champion, this man has
done it all.
Torrie Wilson: What about *pulls the headset away from her mouth* ECW?
Cameron Cade: No, they were smart.
•"From This Day" by Machinehead hits the speakers as Randy Orton and Trish Stratus walk onto the stage. Strobe lights flash around the duo as the fans give them a huge ovation. Trish makes her way down the ramp with Randy following.•
Cameron Cade: I wrestled with Randy down in the OVW a few months back in prep for this return, and he's quite the little athlete.
Torrie Wilson: Yeah, he's like *pop* so cute too.
Cameron Cade: Torrie, can we get rid of the bubble gum please?
Torrie Wilson: I can't.. It still has some flavor left.
•Orton climbs onto the ring apron but Hogan rushes at him and knocks him off. Orton walks around the ring and tries to get onto the apron on a different side. Hogan knocks him off again. Orton tries it a third time, and as Hogan is running to push him off, Orton rams his shoulder into Hogan's gut. He hops over the top rope and runs at Hogan. He knocks him down with a clothesline. He bounces off the ropes and drops an elbow onto The Hulkster. He goes for the cover but Hogan gets up. Orton pulls Hogan up to his feet and whips him into the ropes. He kicks Hogan in the gut and lifts a knee into Hogan's face, sending him to the mat. Orton climbs to the top rope but Hogan gets to his feet and crotches him on the top. Hogan climbs onto the second rope and hooks Orton for a suplex. Orton blocks him and punches him off the turnbuckle. Hogan falls to the mat and Orton balances himself on the top rope. He jumps off and drops a huge elbow drop onto Hogan. Instead of going for the cover, he picks Hogan up and pushes leans him against the turnbuckle. He whips Hogan across the ring and runs at him. Hulk picks his foot up and knocks Orton down with a big boot.•
Cameron Cade: That was a rookie mistake right there. Randy should have gone for the cover after he hit that elbow.
Torrie Wilson: Maybe he figured Hulk Hogan would kick out.
Cameron Cade: There's no excuse.
•Hulk pulls Orton to his feet and pushes him into the turnbuckle. Hogan punches and kicks Orton until he slumps to the mat. Hogan walks around the ring, taunting to the crowd. As he is doing this, Orton gets to his feet and charges at Hogan. Hulk turns around just in time to get speared to the mat by Randy. He unleashed with a fury of punches at Hogan's face. The ref tries to stop Orton from using his fists but Orton shrugs him off. He gets up and picks Hogan up with him. He whips him into the ropes and bounces himself off the ropes. He jumps into the air and takes Hogan down with a flying clothesline. He picks Hogan up and positions him between his legs. He hooks his arms and lifts Hogan up, then drops him with a sit-down powerbomb. He places his legs over Hogan's shoulders and goes for the cover. 1... 2... Hogan barely kicks out. Orton gets up and goes to grab Hogan. Instead, Hulk grabs Orton by the tights and hits a low-blow. Orton falls to his knees in pain. Hogan slowly gets to his feet and picks Orton up too. He whips him into the ropes and drops him down with a big boot. He bounces off the ropes and hits his patented legdrop. He goes for the cover.•
Cameron Cade: It's over here folks. One..two... NO! Randy Orton kicked out of Hogan's legdrop!
Torrie Wilson: Is that a big deal? He just like.. fell on him.
Cameron Cade: No one kicks out of Hogan's legdrop!
Torrie Wilson: Yea but like, Hogan isn't one of the bookers here, is he?
Cameron Cade: Good point..
•The Rock runs down the aisle with a steel chair in hand. He hops onto the ring apron which gets the referees attention. He turns towards The Rock who tosses the chair to Hogan. As Orton is getting to his feet, Hogan raises the chair into the air. Trish Stratus climbs onto the apron and gets into the ring. She kicks Hogan below the belt, causing him to bend over in pain. She takes the chair from him and tosses it to Orton. He smacks Hogan across the face with it. Trish takes the chair and slides out of the ring. She runs around to where The Rock is on the apron and smashes the chair across his back. He falls onto the apron, allowing the ref's attention to turn back to the match. Randy is laying on top of Hogan. 1....2....3!•
Cameron Cade: The rookie Randy Orton has just defeated Hulk Hogan!
Torrie Wilson: This means like he's going to No Mercy to fight for that belt.
Cameron Cade: Right, the Intercontinental title, Torrie. Wait.. look. What's Edge doing here.
•Edge walks out onto the stage and applauds as Randy Orton gets his hand raises by Earl Hebner.•
Cameron Cade: I guess.. this is some show of respect on the part of Edge.. I'm confused.
Torrie Wilson: YOU'RE confused!?
•The camera cuts to the back where we see Paul Bearer talking to Jim Ross.•
Paul Bearer: My Undertaker WANTS him. My Undertaker has left me.. he's leeeeeeeeft meeeee! His creatures, they came to me Mr. Ross, they
came to me and they told me that my Undertaker wouldn't be back until he got what he wanted.. And he wants Mankind! Mankind has my Undertaker's urn. Please Mr. Ross, Please,
give my Undertaker what he wants.
Jim Ross: How does he uhh..want him?
Paul Bearer: He wants him DEAD!
Jim Ross: He what!?
Paul Bearer: He wants him to be locked in a casket.. He wants the lid shut, my Undertaker does. He wants Mankind to feel his last breath leave his
lips. MY UNDERTAKER WANTS HIS LIFE! He wants the soul of Mankind. Make it Mr. Ross..Make it happen! Give my Undertaker what he wants!
Jim Ross: I'll uhh.. have to think abo--
Paul Bearer: There's nothing to think about! My Undertaker wants Mankind in a casket match at No Mercy! Give my Undertaker his match! Give it to
him!
Jim Ross: FINE! You tell your Undertaker that he's got his match with Mankind. Tell him that.
Paul Bearer: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!
•The cameras then cut back to Cameron Cade & Torrie Wilson at the announce table.•
Cameron Cade: A.. casket match? The last time I saw one of those, Yokozuna was in it.. And.. he's not around any more..
Torrie Wilson: Wh--wh--what are you trying to say?
Cameron Cade: In three weeks at No Mercy, either The Undertaker or Mankind will meet their maker.
Torrie Wilson: I don't know what you mean but it like doesn't sound good at all.
•The cameras cut to the backstage area again where Rob Van Dam and Chris Jericho are talking.•
Chris Jericho: Rob, you had my back last week. So, if anyone tries to pull any funny stuff tonight, I'll be there for you.
Rob Van Dam: You know Chris, I appreciate that. But I really don't think I'll need your help. I mean, I've only got to beat Steve Corino. Steve Who
is more like it. Heh. I just hope that it's me.. and you.. that are the final two in the tournament. And when it all comes down to it, the better man.. will win.
Chris Jericho: We'll see Rob.. We'll see..
Cameron Cade: I want to see that match too, Torrie. Rob Van Dam and Chris Jericho... I've had the pleasure of working with both men in the
squared circle and both of them are fine athletes.
Torrie Wilson: Yeah but umm.. RVD needs to beat Steve Who tonight in order to get to the No Mercy show.
Cameron Cade: Corino..
Torrie Wilson: Who's Corino?
Cameron Cade: Yup!
Torrie Wilson: WHO'S CORINO!?
Cameron Cade: YES!!
•"Walk" by Pantera hits the speakers as RVD steps out onto the stage, the fans giving him a huge ovation. He walks down the ramp and hops into the ring.•
•Steve Corino's theme hits the speakers and he walks out onto the stage, receiving a mixed reaction from the sold-out crowd.•
Cameron Cade: That's Steve Corino.
Torrie Wilson: What happened to Steve Wh---Ooooooooh! I get it! Steve Corino got jealous of Steve Who and beat him up so that he could take his
place. Wow.. He's a smart guy!
Cameron Cade: ....
•Corino slides into the ring and RVD immediately beings his attack. He kicks Corino a few times in the back of the head and then pulls him to his feet by his hair. He whips him into the ropes and goes for a clothesline but Corino ducks under it. He bounces off the opposite ropes and goes for a clothesline of his own but RVD hops over his shoulder. Van Dam spins Corino around and goes for a shuffle side kick but Corino grabs his foot. He pulls RVD into him and knocks him to the mat with a very stiff clothesline. He picks Rob up and pushes him backwards into the corner. He climbs onto the second rope and punches Van Dam ten or so times before hopping off. He grabs RVD's arm and whips him across the ring. He runs at him but Van Dam gets out of the way, sending Corino crashing into the turnbuckle. RVD grabs Corino's tights and rolls him up. 1...2... Corino gets up. Van Dam picks Corino up and slams him down. He bounces off the ropes and performs his Rolling Thunder. He goes for the cover again. Corino gets his foot on the bottom rope. RVD gets to his feet and pulls Corino up too. He hooks him for a suplex but Corino blocks it. He picks Van Dam up and suplexes him over the top rope to the arena floor. Corino slides out of the ring and pulls RVD up to his feet. He smashes his head into the announce table.•
Torrie Wilson: Cade! HELP ME! AAAAHH!
Cameron Cade: Yo, cool it! They can't get to you!
•Corino pulls RVD by his ponytail and smashes him into the ring steps. He picks RVD up and pushes him into the ring. Corino climbs up to the apron and then turns around to taunt the fans. This allows RVD to get to his feet. He runs at Corino and smashes into him, sending Corino flying off the apron. He lands on the announce table but it doesn't break. RVD climbs to the top rope. He leaps off and nails the Five Star frogsplash through the announce table.•
Cameron Cade: HOLY JESUS! My God what are these fools doing!?
Torrie Wilson: Cade! CADE! Tell the crowd to stop saying that name.. They could all get fired.
Cameron Cade: What you mean.. E...
Torrie Wilson: CADE!
•RVD slowly gets to his feet and he pulls Corino to his too. He rolls him back into the ring. RVD takes a while getting in because he is obviously hurting. He finally does and falls onto Corino. 1....2.... Corino, somehow, gets his shoulder up. Van Dam gets back out of the ring and he grabs a chair. He slides it under the bottom rope and then he climbs to the top rope. He jumps off, trying for another frog splash, but Corino rolls out of the way. Corino gets to his knees and slowly gets to his feet. He walks over to Van Dam, who is writhing in pain. He pulls RVD up by his arm and whips him into the ropes. He lifts Van Dam up and spikes him down with a spinebuster. He covers him. 1....2.... Van Dam gets his shoulder up at the last second. Corino picks him up again but this time, he sets RVD up between his legs. He lifts him up for a powerbomb but RVD franksteins out of it, into a pinning position. 1....2....3!•
Cameron Cade: RVD! RVD!
Torrie Wilson: CADE! CADE!
Cameron Cade: Huh?
Torrie Wilson: Look!
•In the ring, Steve Corino has picked up the chair. He sneaks behind RVD and knocks him across the back with it. RVD falls to the mat and Corino continues his beating. Earl Hebner tries to pull him off but Corino smashes the chair over his head. Corino picks RVD up and whips him into the ropes. He picks up the chair high above his head and brings it down right on top of Van Dam's head. Other officials run down to the ring but Corino takes them out too. Chris Jericho runs out through the crowd. He slides into the ring and spins Corino around. Corino takes a swing at Jericho but he ducks. He kicks Corino in the gut and bounces himself off the ropes. As he's running back, Corino jabs him in the ribs with the chair and then smashes it across his head. The show goes off the air with Corino standing over the fallen bodies of 4 or so referees, Rob Van Dam, and Chris Jericho.•
