Kurt Angle: Cyrus! Commissioner Cyrus! I've been looking for you! Did you see Hardcore TV last week!?

Cyrus: Of course I did...I was there, and I've watched the tape several times...

Kurt Angle: DID YOU SEE WHAT THAT TWIRP DID TO ME!? Did you see what Nova did!? Well, I'll tell you what he did. You made the match, Christian and Olympic Gold Medalist Kurt Angle against Raven and Stevie Richards. You made the match knowing that Raven was in the hospital still. You made the match so Christian and I could take out Stevie Richards! That little twirp Nova came out and attacked your Olympic Hero! Yeah, it's true! Is that any way to treat an Olympic Champion!? And you know he tried to spoil your plan Cyrus, he's out to get you! Can you believe that!?

Cyrus: No...I can'---

Kurt Angle: I know, it's horrible. I just want you to know that if you ever need anything, I've got your back.

Cyrus: Well thanks Kurt...but I'm with the Offi---

Kurt Angle: Oh, by the way I was wondering if you could do me a favor and make me a match with that little twirp who tried to ruin your plan.

Cyrus: I'M WITH THE OFFICE!

Kurt Angle: ...yeah...

Cyrus: That means I have the brass...you've got your match. Make sure you teach him a lesson he'll never forget...

Kurt Angle: Oh, I will, it's true. He'll never want to mess with Kurt An---

Cyrus: Teach him never to mess with the Office again!!

Joey Styles: Well, it looks like we'll be seeing Kurt Angle and Nova competing here tonight.

Chase Cassidy: Yes, we will, and after what Nova did to my Olympic Hero on the last edition of Hardcore TV, I can't wait for Kurt to get some payback!

Joey Styles: Nova was just helping Richards, who was all alone against both Christian AND Kurt Angle. What he did was commendable.

Chase Cassidy: Yeah, yeah...SNORE!

::Earlier today...ECW Owner Paul Heyman is shown signing a piece of paper. He scribbles down his John Hancock and tapes the paper to a bulletin board. Heyman walks away and the camera moves in closer. The paper reads "Cruiserweight Battle Royal: Crowning of an ECW Cruiserweight Champion!"::

Joey Styles: Oh my god! Do you realize what that means!? Did you see that Chase!?

Chase Cassidy: No Joseph, I'm both illiterate AND blind! OF COURSE I SAW THAT!

Joey Styles: You act blind sometimes. Paul Heyman signed a Cruiserweight Battle Royal for the tonight! What a night! That is sure to be a tremendous match!

::"CHRISTIAN! CHRISTIAN!" sounds throughout the arena and the fans immediately boo. Christian steps through the curtains singing along with his opera-esque theme music. He gives the fans dirty looks as he walks down the aisle towards the ring. He goes to give a little six year old in the front row a high five, but quickly retracts his hand and laughs loudly in the child's face. The fans boo some more as he gets in the ring, smiling, and poses::

Joey Styles: This man makes me sick...

Chase Cassidy: You must have some sort of disease or something Joseph. I know a good doctor.

Joey Styles: I'm sure you do Chase, but after what he did to Raven on the last episode of Hardcore TV, I can hardly stand to look at him.

Chase Cassidy: I suppose we should get the tech crew to put one of those captions on the tv screens before Christian comes out then, huh? Warning: This man is not for the weak of heart, or those who are like Joey Styles and just plain suck! Haha!

Joey Styles: That was so clever Chase, I'm impressed.

::"Come Out and Play" by the Offspring blares through the loudspeakers and the fans go crazy. Raven walks out and does the sign of the crucifix for a tremendous pop. Francine comes out after that to a nice ovation. They walk to the ring, Raven with his forehead bandaged, staring directly at Christian::

Joey Styles: As you can see, Raven had to get seventeen stitches in his forehead after Christian drove his face through the windshield of a Lincoln.

Chase Cassidy: Raven got what he deserved. What about him? What about Christian!? Who cares about Raven!?

Joey Styles: Only the entire viewing audience, other than that, I just don't know.

::Raven gets on the ring apron as Francine, and the entire arena applaud him. Hem does the sign of the crucifix again facing the crowd. Christian runs at him from behind and knocks him off the ring apron, face first onto the steel guardrails! Christian steps through the ropes to the outside and chases Francine away. He turns his attention back to Raven. Raven throws a punch, but Christian blocks it, then rips the bandage off Raven's head. He grabs Raven by the hair and rams his face into the top of the guardrail numerous times. He then whips Raven into the steel ringpost, knocking him to the floor. Christian mounts Raven on the concrete and drives his knuckles into the wound Raven received from the glass windshield::

Joey Styles: This is sick! This is just sick! Christian is purposely trying to open that gash up again!

Chase Cassidy: Although I don't agree with this...you've gotta' do whatcha gotta' do...

Joey Styles: Oh, and you've got to do this huh? Right...

::Christian pulls a steel folding chair out from under the ring. He stands over Raven's body and goes to drive the edge of the chair right into Raven's head. Raven quickly moves out of the way and the chair hits the concrete. He slides out from under Christian and tries to use the ring apron to get to his feet. Christian turns around with the chair and cracks it across the back of Raven, who screams in agony. Christian threatens Francine with the chair and she backs off. He rolls Raven into the ring and makes the cover, pressing the steel chair against Raven. 1...2...Raven kicks out! Christian pulls Raven up and bounces him off the ropes. Raven comes back with a clothesline, but Christian ducks it and goes behind Raven. He hooks Raven from behind and drops him with his modified reverse ddt! 1...2...Raven kicks out! Christian pushes Raven's shoulder to the mat covering him again. 1...2...Raven kicks out again! Christian is getting frustrated. He unfolds the chair and sets it in the middle of the ring. He pulls Raven up by the hair and rams his face into the seat of the chair. Raven stays with his head on the chair as Christian grabs a chair from the outside and brings it back it. He goes to sandwich Raven's head between the two chairs, but Raven moves out of the way! He quickly gets up and nails a drop toe hold on Christian. Christian falls face first with his chair onto the open chair. He bounces up grabbing his face in pain and Raven nails him with the Evenflow ddt! 1...2...3!::

Joey Styles: OH MY GOD! I can't believe it! Raven turned the match around quickly...just like that!

Chase Cassidy: This is an atrocious! Christian had the match won! Raven cheated! RAVEN CHEATED!

Joey Styles: Is that ALWAYS your excuse when your favorite doesn't win the match?

Chase Cassidy: Yeah, got a problem with it, bub?

::Backstage...Dawn Marie is standing by with Josh Mathews, from WWF Tough Enough. He is accompanied by Taylor Matheney, also from WWF Tough Enough. Dawn Marie is staring into the camera, smiling, with the occasional joyful bounce. She realizes that she's supposed to be interviewing Josh...::

Dawn Marie: Oh, hi there, I'm Dawn Marie...

::Dawn extends her hand to Josh::

Josh: Nice to meet you Dawn.

Dawn Marie: That's me!

Josh: ...Josh Mathews...

::Dawn extends her hand to Taylor::

Taylor: Taylor Matheney, we've met before...

Dawn Marie: Hi, I'm Dawn Marie.

Taylor: Yes, yes you are...

Dawn Marie: That's me!

::Dawn Marie turns to the camera and blows a kiss, then fluffs her hair a little::

Josh: Ah hem...

::Dawn is still staring into the camera lens. Josh taps her on the shoulder::

Dawn Marie: Oh..um...so Josh, you have a match tonight!

Josh: ...Yeah, I do. In fact, Paul Heyman made a Cruiserweight Battle Royal for tonight. I'll be in there competing to become the Cruiserweight Champion!

::Dawn Marie is distracted by the camera again. Her head slowly turns towards it, then she bounces a little and winks. Someone whispers something to Dawn off-camera::

Dawn Marie: I know! I was getting there! HMPH! Anyway, Josh...Jamie Knoble is also in that Battle Royal. You two have had problems in the past...

Josh: Yeah, Jamie Knoble seems to have a problem with Taylor and I being here in ECW to begin with. Well tonight, I'm going to prove to him that I deserve to be here. After I win that Cruiserweight Title, he's going to NEED me to be here in order for him to get a shot at it. Jamie Knoble...there's no way in hell that you're walking out of that match with the title!

::Dawn Marie is again not paying any attention as Josh and Taylor walk off::

Dawn Marie: Hi, I'm Dawn Marie!

::Dawn giggles and the camera cuts her off::

::"Hit Me With Your Best Shot" by Pat Benatar hits the speakers and Nova jumps out from behind the curtains with a full head of steam. He raises his arms in the air for the cheering fans, then runs down the aisle and slides into the ring::

Joey Styles: Wow, what an ovation for Nova!

Chase Cassidy: YAWN...

Joey Styles: Kurt Angle asked Cyrus to make this match tonight, and Cyrus made it. As you can see, Nova isn't backing down from the challenge, he's ready to go!

::Trumpets blare and Kurt Angle walks onto the stage with his gold medals around his neck, and wearing a WWF shirt. The fans boo him as he shows the fans at ringside his medals, making sure they don't get too close to them. Nova yells at Angle from the ring, then nails him with a flying cross body over the top rope! Nova stands on the top of a guard rail as Angle gets to his feet. Nova jumps off looking for a double axe handle, but Kurt Angle catches him. He throws Nova over his head with a belly to belly suplex and Nova hits the concrete hard. "E-C-Dub! E-C-DUB!" chants erupt and Angle covers his ears, shaking his head and stomping his feet. Angle climbs into the ring and takes off his medals and WWF shirt. He grabs a microphone waiting for Nova to get back in the ring::

Joey Styles: Oh great...

Kurt Angle: You know, on the last episode of Hardcore TV, I was just doing my job. I was doing what Commissioner Cyrus asked of me. Is there something wrong with that? Do you people have a problem with that!? I know none of you do your jobs to the best of your ability. Well, those of you that ACTUALLY HAVE jobs, which isn't many.

::The fans boo::

Kurt Angle: All I was doing, was doing my job, and this little...pardon my language...TERD came in and attack me from behind! Can you believe it!? It's true, oh it's true. Is that any way to treat an Olympic Champion, let alone an idol to children around the world? I know you people here have no morals, but---

::Nova slides in the ring and knocks Angle down from behind. Angle gets back up and Nova backs him into the corner with a flury of punches to a huge pop! Nova whips Angle across the ring into the opposite corner and runs at him. He hooks Angle's head and uses the top turnbuckle to propel himself around, then drops Angle with his version of the tornado ddt. He makes the cover...1...2...Angle kicks out! Both men get up and Nova goes for a ddt. Kurt Angle quickly counters and throws Nova over his head with a release northern lights suplex. He immediately starts stomping on Nova::

Chase Cassidy: Yeah, get him Kurt! Look at my Olympic Hero! What a guy!

Joey Styles: Yeah...sure Chase.

Chase Cassidy: What? Just because he's accomplished more than you ever will doesn't mean you have to feel inferior.

Joey Styles: What are you talking about Chase? I'm not inferior to Angle! The man is leading a crusade AGAINST this company! The man is still supporting the WWF, our rival. What do I have to feel inferior about?

::Kurt Angle pulls Nova up and shoves him into the corner. He slaps Nova across the face and laughs at him. He goes to slap Nova again, but Nova blocks it. Nova starts to fight back, but Angle drives him into the turnbuckles once again, haulting Nova's offense. Kurt gives Nova a few rights, then whips him out of the corner. Kurt doesn't let go of Nova's arm, and pulls him back in, then throws him with another belly to belly suplex. Nova gets up with legs of rubber. Angle catches him and plants him up on the top turnbuckle. Angle runs, jumps onto the top turnbuckle, and throws Nova off with a huge belly to belly suplex! He gets up and poses for the fans, then covers Nova in a cocky manner::

Joey Styles: ONE!

Chase Cassidy: TWO!

Joey Styles: NO! Nova kicks out!

Chase Cassidy: What a slow count by the referee! This guy should be fired! There's no way Nova could have kicked out of that move otherwise!

Joey Styles: Well, that was a great move by Kurt Angle, but his cockiness got in the way of it. If he would have covered Nova right away, he would have had the thing won.

Chase Cassidy: Pish posh Joseph! Not with that scamming referee!

::Kurt pulls Nova up and whips him off the ropes. He catches Nova for a belly to belly, but Nova moves a little, and drops Kurt with his legsweep, the NovaCane! Nova rallies the fans behind him as he waits for Kurt to get to his feet. Nova signals for the Kryptonite Krunch, then gets Kurt Angle on his back in position for the move. Kurt wriggles free and hits Nova with a hard low blow. He picks Nova up and drops him with the Olympic Slam! 1...2...3!::

Chase Cassidy: My Olympic Hero is the WINNER!

Joey Styles: Don't take anything away from Nova, he put up a hell of a fight!

Chase Cassidy: I'll take whatever I want away from Nova, Angle won!

::The fans boo Angle. He raises his WWF shirt in the air and the fans start to chant "E-C-DUB!" again. Angle runs to the back covering his ears::

::Backstage...Christian is seen...visibly upset about losing his tournament match to Raven::

Christian: No! This can't be happening! Why me? WHY ME!? I'm a winner dammit!! A WINNER!! WINNER! WINNER! WINNER!

::Christian knocks a bowl of chips off a table, along with some drinks and other food items. He picks up the coffee maker and throws it across the room. It shatters against the wall. He turns the table over and starts stomping on it. He starts grabbing things and throwing them every which way::

Christian: I'm a winner DAMMIT! WINNER! WINNER! WINNER! I should be the ECW Champion! ME! ME! MEEEEEE!!

::Christian runs off down the hall screaming::

Joey Styles: How old is he?

Chase Cassidy: Why are you asking me? I'm just the color commentator!

::"Bawitdaba" by Kid Rock hits and Kid Kash bursts through the curtains. The fans cheer him on as he makes his rounds around the ring, making sure to slap every hand protruding from the crowd. Before Kash can get in the ring, the cheers turn to boos because "Sun Shining Down on Me" by Jackyl plays and ECW's resident stripper, E.Z. Money, appears on stage. He does his usual strip tease with the bow tie, suspenders, Television Title, and sequin hat for all the fans screaming obscenities at him::

Joey Styles: E.Z. Money isn't too popular here...

Chase Cassidy: That's because these fans don't know a good stripper if he bit them in the ass! ...Uh...I mean...

Joey Styles: You would know Chase, you would know...I'm a little surprised though, Chris Hamrick isn't coming out here with E.Z. Money.

Chase Cassidy: What? You're surprised? You act like E.Z. Money can't win matches without Hamrick!

Joey Styles: Well...

Chase Cassidy: Joseph, this man is our Television Champion for a reason you know.

::E.Z. Money makes his way down the aisle stroking his...title on the way. The fans quickly start the "He's got herpes!" chant. Kid Kash jumps onto the top rope and leaps off onto E.Z. Money, surprising him with a somersault plancha! Kash rolls back into the ring and poses for the cheering fans, waiting for E.Z. Money to get up. Money gets to his feet and Kid Kash uses the top rope to propel himself to the outside. He lands on Money's shoulders and takes him over with a massive hurricanrana! "E-C-DUB! E-C-DUB!" Kash rolls E.Z. Money back into the ring and follows. He goes for the cover...1...2...E.Z. Money kicks out! Both men get up and Kid Kash nails an armdrag. Money gets back up only for Kash to catch him with another arm drag. As Money gets to his feet again, Kid Kash bounces off the top rope, flips over E.Z. Money, and hits another arm drag!::

Joey Styles: What a move by Kid Kash! He's making the cover! ONE! TWO!

Chase Cassidy: No! E.Z. Money kicked out! What a guy! That's why he's the Television Champion!

Joey Styles: Well, he might not be for much longer with the way this match is going!

::Kash pulls Money up and whips him towards the ropes. E.Z. Money reverses it and Kash bounces off the ropes. He takes Money down with a flying head scissors. 1...2...Money kicks out again. Kid Kash calls for the Money Maker. He pulls E.Z. Money up, puts him in position, and lifts him into the air. CRACK! Chris Hamrick nails Kid Kash in the back with a chair!::

Joey Styles: OH MY GOD! Kid Kash had it won! Hamrick came out of nowhere!!

Chase Cassidy: Kid Kash is down! Come on E.Z. Money! Just roll over and pin him!!

Joey Styles: If it ends this way I'm going to be sick! Hamrick and E.Z. Money are ruthless!

Chase Cassidy: E.Z. Money rolls on top of Kid Kash! ONE! TWO!

Joey Styles: NO! OH MY GOD! HE KICKED OUT! Kid Kash kicked out!!

::E.Z. Money pulls Kash to his feet and backs him into the corner. He starts pounding away with Hamrick at ringside now. Kash turns the situation around and gets E.Z. Money in the corner. He nails Money with a few chops, then takes him to the mat with a snapmare. Chris Hamrick jumps onto the ring apron sliding a chair into the ring and Kash dropkicks him off! As E.Z. Money gets to his feet, Kid Kash bounces off the top rope and goes for a sunset flip. Money catches him on his back though, and drops him with the Money in the Bank right onto the steel chair! He makes the cover...::

Chase Cassidy: ONE!

Joey Styles: TWO!

Chase Cassidy: THREE! It's over! E.Z. Money retains his ECW Television Title!

Joey Styles: I can't believe this! What a shame!

::Chris Hamrick gets in the ring with another chair after the match. E.Z. Money and Hamrick open the chairs up and set them up in the middle of the ring facing each other. Money grabs Kash by the hair and sets him up for a powerbomb. He lifts Kash into the air, but Kash manages to get free, driving E.Z. Money face first onto the chairs! The fans go crazy! Hamrick runs towards Kash who picks up one of the open chairs and throws it right into Hamrick's face! Kid Kash closes the chair and sets it on the mat. He picks Hamrick up and drives him onto the steel chair with the Money Maker!! "E-C-DUB! E-C-DUB!"::

Joey Styles: Kid Kash gets revenge to the delight of the fans!

::Backstage...Kurt Angle is standing by with Dawn Marie who is yet again distracted by the camera. She smiles, staring at herself in the lense::

Kurt Angle: AH HEM!

Dawn Marie: Hi, I'm Dawn Marie!

::Dawn extends her hand to Angle who just stares at it::

Kurt Angle: Do you know who I am? Do you? I'm an Olympic Gold Medalist, and a former WWF champion! I'm your NEW Olympic Hero!

::Dawn isn't paying any attention at all. She's looking at her nails, occasionally polishing them on her shirt::

Kurt Angle: Did you see what I did tonight? I beat that twirp Nova! I beat him, one, two, three right in the middle of the ring! I gave him what he deserved, oh it's true. Pardon my language...but I kicked his ass. I showed him who's boss, that's for sure! It's true! It's true!

::Dawn looks into the camera lense and bounces a little, smiling::

Kurt Angle: Dawn? Dawn? Are you listening to me!? This is no way to treat your Olympic Hero! I shouldn't even let you interview me! Who are you anyway? You're certainly not an Olympic Champion! You're nothing! You're a nobody compared to me, Kurt Angle. I'm sorry, but it's true!

::A look of fear becomes obvious on Kurt Angle's face as he spots Nova coming towards him. Kurt Angle runs off in his WWF tshirt. Nova walks up to Dawn Marie and smiles at her. She smiles flirtatiously back at him::

Chase Cassidy: Ooo la la! What was that all about!? Did you see him giving Dawn Marie the looks?

Joey Styles: She was giving him the looks too.

Chase Cassidy: Oh Dawn, don't fall for that jerk! He's nothing but a twirp! Come to me Dawn, I'll show you a good time!

Joey Styles: Yeah, if you consider dinner at your mom's a good time...

Chase Cassidy: Hey! Don'tchu be talkin' bouts my momma!

::"This....is EXTREEEEEME!" The ECW theme song hits and the participants in the Cruiserweight Battle Royal make their way to the ring. Rey Mysterio Jr., X-Pac, Little Guido, Psicosis, Josh Mathews, Jamie Knoble, Shane Helms, and Shannon Moore all enter the ring, ready for war. Before the bell rings, Jamie Knoble jumps Josh Mathews from behind knocking him to the mat. He stomps away on Josh as the bell rings. X-Pac and Little Guido team up on Rey Jr., back him into the corner with kicks and punches. Psicosis bounces Shane Helms off the ropes. Helms goes for a hurricanrana, but Psicosis holds onto him and drops him throat first onto the top rope. Shannon Moore jumps onto Psicosis' shoulders from behind. He spins around and goes for a hurricanrana, but Psicosis drops him with a sitdown powerbomb! In the corner, Jamie Knoble chokes Josh Mathews with his boot while screaming, "How do yah like that boy!? I'm Jamie BAH GOD Knoble dammit!"::

Joey Styles: Jamie Knoble and Josh Mathews have quite the heated past here in ECW.

Chase Cassidy: Yeah, but it's not Knoble's fault that Josh Mathews doesn't deserve to be here!

Joey Styles: What are you talking about? Josh Mathews got signed to a contract for a reason.

Chase Cassidy: Oh pish posh Joseph! Knoble is right, Josh is just a rookie who never had to pay any dues in this business.

Joey Styles: Oh, and YOU would know all about paying your dues right Chase?

Chase Cassidy: ...No comment...

::Jamie Knoble pulls Josh to his feet and tries to throw him over the top rope. Josh holds onto the ropes though and refuses to be thrown out. In the other corner, Rey Mysterio Jr. begins to mount a comeback. He punches away at X-Pac and Little Guido one after the other. Shannon Moore hooks Guido from behind and drops him with a reverse ddt. Mysterio goes to the top turnbuckle and nails a flying hurricanrana on X-Pac! Once X-Pac gets to his feet, Shannon Moore nails him with a drop kick. X-Pac flies backwards colliding with Rey Jr. and knocking him over the top rope in the process! X-Pac can't believe he just eliminated Rey Jr. He celebrates as the fans boo him. Shane Helms runs up behind X-Pac and dumps him over the top rope. The fans go crazy!::

Joey Styles: Both X-Pac and Rey Mysterio Jr. have been eliminated already!

Chase Cassidy: Helms cheated! X-Pac was my pick to win! Why I oughta--

Joey Styles: WAIT! What is this!? What the hell is going on here!? WHAT ARE THEY DOING OUT HERE!?

Chase Cassidy: Um...this doesn't look too good...

::The Impact Players, Justin Credible and Lance Storm walk to the ring with chairs in their hands, smiling. The six wrestlers left in the ring go on battling it out, paying no attention to the Impact Players. Psicosis tries to help Knoble get Josh over the top rope but to no avail. Shane Helms grabs Psicosis and drops him with the Nightmare on Helms Street. Across the ring Little Guido nails a cheap low blow. He goes to the top turnbuckle looking for the Sicilian Slice as Moore slowly gets to his feet. Justin Credible hops onto the ring apron and nails Guido with a chair to the back of the head. Guido falls all the way to the concrete floor. Lance Storm slides in the ring and clocks Shannon Moore with his chair. Helms runs at Storm, but Storm hits him with a superkick, then drops him with a vicious chairshot. Justin Credible hops into the ring and cracks his chair across the skull of Psicosis. Jamie Knoble turns around and Credible whips him towards Storm. Lance Storm whacks Knoble with his chair. Josh Mathews throws a punch at Credible, who blocks it. He drops his chair, kicks Mathews, and ddts him onto the chair. Psicosis pulls himself to his feet and attacks Lance Storm. He kicks Storm in the gut and goes to the top rope. Credible runs across the ring with his chair and cracks it over the head of Psicosis. Psicosis falls to the outside and lands on a steel guard rail::

Chase Cassidy: Does this mean Psicosis and Little Guido are eliminated too!? WOOHOO! Knoble is on his way to winning this one!

Joey Styles: I don't know what this means Chase! What is wrong with the Impact Players! They don't even have a match tonight! This is just wrong! They've taken out all of the wrestlers in this match!

::Justin Credible pulls Shane Helms to his feet. Lance Storm hits him with a dropkick, and Justin Credible clotheslines him over the top rope! Storm pulls Shannon Moore up by his hair. He sends Moore towards Credible with an irish whip. Justin Credible back body drops Moore over the top rope to the floor. Justin Credible points at fan favorite Josh Mathews. Josh gets to his knees and the Impact Players start to beat the hell out of him with both their feet, and their chairs! Jamie Knoble gets to his feet and smiles at the Credible and Storm. He joins in beating on Josh, kick him in his kidneys::

Joey Styles: No...don't tell me...don't tell me this was all a set up!! Jamie Knoble had this planned all along!?

Chase Cassidy: Wow...he's smarter than I thought...uh not that I thought he wasn't smart. He's just REALLy smart now! Woohoo! Jamie BAH GOD Knoble is the man! Make Josh Mathews pay his dues!

Joey Styles: Chase, you're a sick....SICK man. I can't believe this. What a crock...all a set up...this is awful!

::Josh Mathews lies on the mat, a motionless bloody mess. Justin Credible and Lance Storm do their pose in the middle of the ring, over Josh's lifeless body. Jamie Knoble joins in, raising his arms in the air. After the Impact Players are done posing, Jamie Knoble offers them a handshake and smiles at them. The Impact Players just stare at him, then Credible nails him with a chair! Storm picks Josh Mathews up and throws him over the top rope, then Credible does the same for Knoble before they leave::

Joey Styles: What the hell? I'm confused...

Chase Cassidy: NO! What did they do to Knoble!? Someone call an ambulance!

Joey Styles: The Impact Players are sick...but I guess this wasn't a set up all along. I guess Jamie Knoble just thought they were out here to help him. The Impact Players help themselves and only themselves though...

Chase Cassidy: So who's the Cruiserweight Champion!?

Joey Styles: I don't know...

::Cyrus' Office::

Cyrus: Oh yeah...I can feel it already! TONIGHT is the Office's night! TONIGHT we take even more charge of ECW! I can already smell it in the air!

::The camera pans to find Joey Matthews and Christian York sitting on a couch across from Cyrus who is at his desk. Rhino is sitting on a chair next to the couch::

Cyrus: TONIGHT IS OUR NIGHT! We're with the Office! WE ARE THE OFFICE DAMMIT! Tonight we take not one, but TWO of ECW's championships. First...you two, Christian York...Joey Matthews...first you two capture the Tag Team Titles! Then, we're into the main event where YOU! You, Rhino, will win the ECW Title! We won't just have my power anymore as the Commissioner. We'll have DOUBLE the power! We'll practically OWN ECW!! From here on out, the Office can only get STRONGER...::

Joey Styles: Now THERE'S a frightening thought!

Chase Cassidy: It's true though!

Joey Styles: I hope not. In any case, next up we have the finals of the Intercontinental Title tournament!

Chase Cassidy: Oh...I'm overjoyed...

Joey Styles: Stop with the sarcasm Chase. This is going to be a great match! Just because you don't like any of them doesn't mean it's going to be terrible.

Chase Cassidy: Yeah it does!

Joey Styles: Oh, sorry, I forgot the world revolves around you. How silly of me...

::"Roadhouse Blues" by the Doors blares through the speakers. The fans jump to their feet as Super Crazy steps through the curtains. He does his pose at the edge of the stage them makes his way down to the ring. He hops onto the top rope and does a backflip into the ring::

::"Scapegoat" by Fear Factory plays and the Whole F'n Show Jerry Lynn comes onto the stage to a huge ovation. He extends his arms and poses for the fans, then heads straight to the ring ready to go::

::"Nitro" by the Offspring hits and the fans go crazy. Stevie Richards comes out to a huge pop. He walks down the steps and slaps the hands of the fans on his way to the ring. He slides into the ring just as the bell rings. The three men circle each other twice, then Richards and Super Crazy lock up. Super Crazy lifts Richards up for a suplex, but Richards slips down behind Crazy. He goes for a back body drop, but Super Crazy flips over and lands on his feet. Super Crazy hooks Richards for a reverse ddt but Richards spins around and goes for a northern lights suplex. Crazy blocks it though and kicks Richards in the stomach. Stevie turns around and goes for a russian legsweep but Crazy won't budge. Richards flips Super Crazy over with a hiptoss. Super Crazy gets to his feet in a hurry and throws Stevie with a quick armdrag. Stevie gets up and Super Crazy jumps over him, rolling him up. 1...2...Stevie Richards kicks out! Both men quickly jump to their feet in a stand off as the fans give them quite the ovation. Richards kicks Crazy in the gut doubling him over. He bounces off the ropes looking for some move, but Jerry Lynn hops over Super Crazy and takes him down with an armdrag of his own. Super Crazy sits up and Lynn nails him with a dropkick to the face. Stevie Richards grabs Lynn from behind and drops him over his knee with a backbreaker. Super Crazy gets up just as Richards is, and Richards nails him with a snap suplex. Stevie pulls Jerry Lynn up by his hair and throws him over the top rope to the floor. He turns around and Super Crazy takes him over with a hurricanrana! Super Crazy jumps on the middle rope and springs backwards, landing a moonsault on Richards...1...2...Stevie Richards kicks out!::

Joey Styles: Super Crazy surprised Stevie Richards with that hurricanrana, but Richards kicks out. Richards was quick to throw Jerry Lynn out of the ring, wasn't he?

Chase Cassidy: Huh? I'm sorry...are you talking again Joseph?

::Both men get up and Super Crazy runs at Richards. Richards back body drops Crazy over the top rope but Super Crazy lands on the ring apron. Richards turns around and Super Crazy tries something, but Richards clocks him with a hard right hand. He takes a couple steps back, then nails Super Crazy with the Stevie Kick! Crazy flies off the ring apron taking out Jerry Lynn on the floor. Stevie Richards climbs out of the ring and grabs a steel folding chair. He swings at Super Crazy, but Crazy moves and Richards hits the guardrail. Super Crazy clotheslines Richards over the guardrail into the first row. Jerry Lynn charges at Super Crazy who drops him into Stevie's lap with a back body drop. Super Crazy pulls the guardrails closer to the ring making some room for Richards and Lynn. Crazy gets on the ring apron, hops onto the top rope, and asai moonsaults off. He lands taking both Jerry Lynn and Stevie Richards out in the crowd. "E-C-Dub! E-C-Dub!" chants break out as Super Crazy poses with one leg on the steel guardrail. He tosses Jerry Lynn back over the guardrail and takes him back into the ring. Crazy goes for the cover...1...2...Lynn kicks out. Super Crazy bounces Lynn off the ropes. Lynn comes running back and locks onto Crazy for a tornado ddt. Crazy holds Lynn up though and tries to drop him on the top rope. Lynn escapes and lands on the ring apron. Super Crazy runs, bounces off the top turnbuckle, and dropkicks Lynn right in the face knocking him to the floor. Stevie Richards sneaks back into the ring and cracks a chair across Super Crazy's back! Richards drops the chair and grabs Crazy from behind. He drives Super Crazy onto the chair with a neckbreaker. 1...2...Super Crazy kicks out! Richards can't believe it. He pulls Super Crazy up and bounces him off the ropes, then catches him with an atomic drop. Jerry Lynn gets back in the ring. Richards bounces him off the ropes. Lynn ducks a clothesline by doing a somersault and picks up the chair in the process. He throws it at Richards who catches it, then he kicks it right into Stevie's face! "E-C-DUB! E-C-DUB!" Jerry Lynn turns around and Super Crazy nails him with a flying headscissors! Super Crazy sets the chair on Stevie's corpse and jumps to the top turnbuckle. He flies off with a moonsault onto the chair on Richards...1...2...3!!::

Chase Cassidy: *perking up* It's over! Super Crazy wins! Now onto the Tag Team match!

Joey Styles: Not quite Chase. I hate to burst your bubble, but Stevie Richards has been ELIMINATED. Jerry Lynn and Super Crazy are still left in the match!

Chase Cassidy: *mumbling* Ugh...stupid ECW elimination..hmph...

::Super Crazy charges at Lynn who steps out of the way, pulling down the top rope so Crazy falls to the outside. Lynn bounces off the ropes and nails a baseball slide kicking Super Crazy in the chest. Crazy stumbles backwards crashing into the steel guardrails. Jerry Lynn climbs to the top turnbuckle and dives off. He takes out Super Crazy with a huge splash. Lynn pounds away on Super Crazy on the floor. He pulls Crazy up and whips him down the way into more guardrails. Lynn charges at him, but Super Crazy boots Lynn right in the face. Jerry Lynn turns around clutching at his jaw. Super Crazy runs at him from behind and drives him to the concrete with a bulldog! Super Crazy pulls the bell ringer's table a few feet away from the ring and rolls Jerry Lynn onto it. Crazy climbs onto the ring apron and springboards off the top rope with a moonsault. Jerry Lynn manages to slide of the table right before Super Crazy crashes through it!::

Joey Styles: Jerry Lynn rolled of that table just in the nick of time! All Crazy got was wood!

Chase Cassidy: Is that a bad thing?

Joey Styles: Shut up Chase! Jerry Lynn could have this thing won, but he is moving just about as much as Super Crazy is, and that's not very much!

::Jerry Lynn finally gets to his feet and pulls Super Crazy out of the remnants of the table. He rolls Crazy back into the ring and climbs onto the ring apron. He springs over the top rope and nails a guillotine. 1...2...Super Crazy barely manages to get the shoulder up!! Lynn jumps up and sits on the top rope waiting for Super Crazy to get up. Lynn reels Crazy in and spins off the top rope, planting Super Crazy with a tornado ddt! 1...2...Super Crazy kicks out once again! Lynn rolls Super Crazy onto his stomach. He locks Crazy's legs and grabs him by the neck, then turns him over with a bow and arron submission hold! He holds Crazy there for awhile, but Super Crazy refuses to tap out. The referee asks him again, but Super Crazy shakes isn't will to give up. Jerry Lynn finally breaks the hold. He pulls Crazy to his feet by his hair and sets up him on the top turnbuckle. Jerry Lynn climbs onto the middle turnbuckle and grabs Crazy. He goes for a top rope bulldog, but Super Crazy pushes him off! Jerry Lynn lands on his feet though. Super Crazy jumps off the top rope but Jerry Lynn catches him and drives him back first into the turnbuckles. He whips Super Crazy out of the corner and Crazy reverses it. Lynn crashes into the opposite corner and Crazy runs at him. He jumps onto Jerry Lynn and throws him across the ring with a huge monkey flip! Lynn quickly scrambles to his feet. Super Crazy grabs the chair in the ring and jabs Lynn in the stomach with it. He drops the chair and shoves Lynn's head between his legs. Super Crazy crosses Lynn's arms under Lynn's own chest and picks up. Crazy spins around and drives Jerry Lynn down onto the steel chair with a huge powerbomb! Super Crazy makes the cover...1...2...3!!!::

Joey Styles: I can't believe it! He's done it! Super Crazy pinned both Stevie Richards and Jerry Lynn in the same match! Super Crazy has become our first ever Intercontinental Champion!!

Chase Cassidy: Eh...can we move on? That match was boring...

Joey Styles: What are you talking about Chase!? That was an EXCELLENT match! If you would have kept your head up during the match, maybe you would know!

Chase Cassidy: I can't help it, it put me to sleep.

Joey Styles: You're hopeless...Super Crazy is the Intercontinental Champion! What a match!

::Backstage...the Impact Players are standing by in a completely stark room grinning ear to ear. Both of them hold separate chairs with blood from ealier in the night still on them...::

Justin Credible: Haha...HAHAHA! Did you see that!? Did you see what we did to those pathetic Cruiserweights!? Did you see it Paul? Oh, excuse me..."Mr. Heyman". Did you see it Paul? Did you? Did you like that Paul? I hope you did because that's what you get! That's what you DESERVE! You go on and on about your resurrection of ECW like it really matters. You obviously don't care about your own company by looking at the card for this PPV.

::Lance Storm looks at the program for the show which contains the card::

Justin Credible: Yeah, big babyface Heyman...right. You go on and on about how you love it company. What bull. It's BULLSHIT! You don't give a damn about this company. You don't give a DAMN about ECW. All you care about is getting finally avenging yourself...finally getting your revenge on the WWF. That's all you care about, that and money. You're just using ECW so you can get rich again. You couldn't care less about ECW could you Paul? It's obvious Paul...I mean...look at the card. Sure, you've got most of your big names on there. Most of the wrestlers YOU get along with. But what about us Paul E.!? What about the Impact Players!? Where are they!?

Lance Storm: Not booked is where they are!

Justin Credible: You're damn right! What Paul? What's the problem? The biggest...the best Tag Team EVER in the wrestling world isn't good enough for you Paul? Just because we don't kiss your ass in the back. We're not good enough for you? Well you know what Paul? As you can already see, the Impact Players aren't just going to sit back and take in our surroundings. We're going to take what's rightfully ours...no one can push us down! Not even you Paul! NOT EVEN YOU! So take heed Paul E. because...that's not just the coolest! That's not just the best, oh no!

Lance Storm: That's from CALGARY...Alberta, Canada!

Justin Credible: Now that Paul E...is JUST INCREDIBLE!

::The Impact Players pose with their bloody chairs::

Joey Styles: What!? Let me get this straight...they came out here, attacked the participants of the battle royal, and completely ruined the match...because of Paul Heyman!?

Chase Cassidy: Yeah! He's holding them back! He didn't even book them! Horrendous!

Joey Styles: He gave them ample time to be on the card! After all, there was a tag team tournament you know. Just because they didn't make it to the finals doesn't mean it's his fault!

Chase Cassidy: Oh quit your whining Joseph!

::"Playing God" by Reveille hits and the tag team of Mikey Whipwreck and Yoshihiro Tajiri walk out onto the stage with the Sinister Minister with them. They laugh hysterically on their way to the ring, Mikey Whipwreck rolling on the floor. The crowd joins in on the laughter, showing their approval. Tajiri climbs onto the ring apron and shoots the green mist into the air::

::"More Than You Are" by Grinspoon blasts through the speakers. Joey Matthews and Christian York step through the curtains with disgruntled looks on their faces. York points towards Whipwreck and Tajiri and yells something at them. York and Matthews then jump over the steps and run down the aisle. Tajiri and Whipwreck meet them at the ringside and the two teams begin to brawl. York whips Tajiri into the guard rail and charges at him looking for a clothesline. Tajiri swiftly nails a stiff kick to the side of York's head sending him over the guardrails into the first row. Joey Matthews goes for a right hand on Whipwreck, but Mikey blocks it and dropkicks Matthews in the knee. Matthews falls to his knees and Tajiri sneaks up on him from behind, nailing him with a buzzsaw kick. Tajiri and Mikey Whipwreck climbs into the ring to wait for Matthews and York,the crowd applauding them. Matthews and York regroup on the outside and refuse to get back in the ring. They demand that the referee keeps Tajiri and Whipwreck far away while they get in the ring. The referee gets Tajiri and Mikey to get back. Christian York hops onto the ring apron in his corner, and Joey Matthews climbs into the ring. Whipwreck gets in his corner and Tajiri stalks Matthews in the ring. Matthews and Tajiri lock up with a sudden burst of energy. Joey Matthews quickly twists Tajiri's arm, wrenching it backward. Tajiri does a somersault, then a kip up, and hiptosses Matthews to the mat. Matthews gets up quickly. He puts his arm in the air for a test of strength with Tajiri. Tajiri seems reluctant, but locks onto Matthews' hand. Matthews puts his other hand in the air and Tajiri reaches for it, but Matthews pulls it down and tries to kick Tajiri below the belt. Tajiri jumps, avoiding contact with Joey's leg, the nails him in the side with one of his swift kicks. Matthews bounces off the ropes and Tajiri catches him with a Japanese arm drag. Joey Matthews quickly crawls back to his corner and tags in Christian York::

Joey Styles: Oh what a coward! You can tell these two are associates of Cyrus!

Chase Cassidy: Yeah you can...they have a great game plan. Cyrus is a brilliant man Joseph...you could learn something from him!

::York gets in the ring and he and Tajiri circle each other. They go to lock up, but York kicks Tajiri in the stomach, then spits in his face. Tajiri goes for a kick to the head, but York ducks it. He bounces off the ropes and nails Tajiri with a flying spinning back-elbow. He pulls Tajiri up and whips him into the corner nearest Joey Matthews. York nails Tajiri with a running clothesline, then quickly distracts the referee as Matthews chokes Tajiri in the corner. Mikey Whipwreck tries to get in the ring but the referee stops him. Meanwhile, York and Matthews double team Tajiri in their corner. Christian York bounces Tajiri off the ropes. Tajiri tries to catch York with a flying headscissors, but Christian holds on to him and drops him with a sidewalk slam. He gets up quickly, spingboards off the middle rope, and hits a legdrop across Tajiri's throat. He makes the cover...1...2...Tajiri kicks out! York climbs up and sits on the top turnbuckle, then tags his partner. Matthews gets in the ring and climbs to the top rope in front of his partner. Christian York then suplexes Matthews onto Yoshihiro Tajiri. 1...2...Tajiri kicks out. Joey Matthews gets up and starts arguing with the referee. Tajiri slowly makes his way back to his corner. Right before Tajiri can tag Mikey Whipwreck in, Matthews runs across the ring and elbows Whipwreck knocking him off the apron. He pulls Tajiri up and hits a running bulldog, then tags in Christian York. York comes in and stomps away on Tajiri. He pulls Tajiri up and lifts him up in a vertical suplex. York then drops Tajiri to the mat face first into a sitting position. York makes the cover, using the ropes for leverage...1...2...::

Joey Styles: NO! Thankfully the referee saw York's feet on the ropes! Can't Matthews and York win a match WITHOUT cheating?

Chase Cassidy: That depends on what you consider cheating.

Joey Styles: You know what cheating is Chase.

Chase Cassidy: Of course I know what cheating is! But you say that everything is cheating. I say if the ref doesn't see it, it never happened.

Joey Styles: Okay, the referee saw York's feet on the ropes...so York was cheating.

Chase Cassidy: No, Christian York would never cheat! What are you trying to imply Joseph!?

Joey Styles: But you just said...oh nevermind...

::Christian York tags Joey Matthews who gets in the ring. They bounce Tajiri off the rope and go to hiptoss him. Instead of letting him go, they catch him, lift him further into the air, and slam him down with a double powerbomb! Matthews yells at the crowd while York makes his way back to their corner. Matthews makes the cover...::

Chase Cassidy: That's it! That was the Future Shock Joseph! It's over! Matthews and York are our NEW Tag Team Cham--

Joey Styles: NO! NO! NO! Mikey Whipwreck made the save! It's not over yet!

::Mikey drives Matthews to the mat with a ddt. Christian York gets in and charges at Whipwreck. He goes for a body scissors, but Mikey catches him and drives him face first into the canvas with a faceplant! Joey Matthews gets to all fours. Whipwreck bounces off the ropes and nails him with a loud dropkick to the forehead! Christian York whips Mikey into the corner. He runs and goes for a dropkick, but Mikey moves out of the way. Christian gets his foot caught and is trapped in the tree of woe! The Sinister Minister holds a chair in front of York's face from outside the ring. Mikey helps Tajiri to his feet. Tajiri realizes York's position and grins evilly with the fans going crazy! Mikey and Tajiri run across the ring and simultaneously dropkick the chair into Christian York's face! Tajiri and Mikey turn their focus to Joey Matthews who is lying flat on the mat. Tajiri and Mikey both pick a leg and lock one of their legs around Matthews'. They both roll forward with their legs locked onto Matthews. Joey Matthews is catapulted over backwards, his head bouncing off the steel chair left on the mat from earlier. Tajiri makes the cover...1...2...no! Joey Matthews barely gets his right shoulder up! They pull Matthews up and set him up for a double reverse suplex but Matthews manages to escape. He drops Whipwreck with a russian legsweep. Tajiri whips Joey into the corner, then immediately locks on the tarantula! The fans cheer as Matthews screams in agony. Christian York slides under the bottom rope and kicks Tajiri right in the face. Tajiri releases the hold and stumbles back into the ring holding his nose which is bleeding. Christian York quickly rolls Tajiri up! 1...2...::

Chase Cassidy: OH MAH HOLY HELL! THREE! THREE! THREE!

Joey Styles: NO! He had the tights! Christian York had the tights! This is a travesty!! York had a hand FULL of Tajiri's tights!

Chase Cassidy: He still got the pinfall! Christian York and Joey Matthews are the ECW Tag Team Champions! Can you believe it Joseph!? oW oW!

Joey Styles: No I can't believe it Chase! This is terrible! Wait a minute...wait a minute...Christian York wasn't even the legal man!

Chase Cassidy: What are you saying? Are you saying he's illegal!?

Joey Styles: YES!

Chase Cassidy: JOSEPH! He's an American! There's no way he's illegal!

Joey Styles: Not THAT kind of illegal you idiot! Christian York tagged Joey Matthews in, Joey Matthews was the legal man. That was an illegal pinfall!

Chase Cassidy: Pfft...Christian York and Joey Matthews win the Tag Team Tournament! Cyrus will be proud!!

::The referee hands Joey Matthews and Christian York the Tag Team Titles. The Sinister Minister gets in the ring and tries to explain to the referee what's going on. Before he can, Joey Matthews knocks him through the ropes to the floor. Mikey Whipwreck runs at Christian York, but York nails him in the head with his tag team belt. Tajiri gets up, but York and Matthews throw him over the top rope to the concrete floor. Christian York picks up the chair remaining in the ring and he points to Mikey Whipwreck. The fans boo him but doesn't seem to care. Matthews hold's Mikey's leg up and York opens the chair, then closes it on Whipwreck's ankle::

Joey Styles: Oh no...no...NO! They're not going to do this! They're going to break his ankle! First they win the match and now this! Joey Matthews and Christian York disgust me!

::Matthews positions Whipwreck while York climbs and sits on the top rope. Matthews climbs up in front of York just like earlier in the match. York picks Matthews up in a suplex and drops him right onto the chair. Mikey Whipwreck screams in pain!::

Joey Styles: OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! DID YOU HEAR THAT!? HIS ANKLE JUST SNAPPED! Damn them! DAMN THEM!

::The fans go nuts booing Matthews and York and shouting obscenities in their direction. Matthews and York just laugh and hold up their Tag Team Titles before leaving. EMTs immediately rush to the ring with a stretcher to take Mikey Whipwreck to the hospital::

::As Joey Matthews and Christian York make their way backstage, Cyrus runs up and congratulates them on their victory::

Cyrus: I told you! I told you, tonight is the Office's night! Look at you two! ECW Tag Team CHAMPIONS!

::The three make their way back to Cyrus' Office::

Cyrus: And coming up next, Rhino is going to beat the hell out of Raven, just like you two did to Tajiri and Mikey Whipwreck!

Christian York: Did you see what we did!?

Joey Matthews: Yeah...I have a feeling you won't have to deal with Mikey Whipwreck for awhile!

::The three of them laugh as Cyrus pushes the door to his office open and turns on the lights. The joy on their faces quickly turns to horror as they stare into the office. The camera looks in and there's a raven looking straight at Cyrus::

Cyrus: What the hell!? Get that thing out of my office! GET IT OUT OF MY OFFICE!!

::Cyrus turns around and looks into the camera::

Cyrus: You know what Raven? ...That's it! I've had it! Tonight, not only will Rhino beat you unmercifully in your match for the ECW Title...he's also going to beat you with TABLES AND LADDERS! The match is now officially a Tables and Ladders Match!!

::Cyrus pushes the camera away::

Joey Styles: What a match our Main Event is going to be! Not only is the the finals of the ECW Title Tournament, not only is it for the ECW Title, it's now a tables and ladders match!!

Chase Cassidy: I must say...I must say...

Joey Styles: Spit it out Chase!

Chase Cassidy: Cyrus is brilliant! What a guy! Mikey Whipwreck looks like he's going to be out of action for awhile, and after tonight, SO WILL RAVEN! YES! Cyrus is quite the thinker!

::Backstage...various wrestlers are congratulating Super Crazy on his winning of the Intercontinental Title. Jerry Lynn walks into the room looking extremely angry and bitter. He pushes his way through the other wrestlers to where Super Crazy is standing. He glares at Super Crazy with cold, steel eyes...::

Jerry Lynn: You know what Crazy...

::Lynn extends his hand to Super Crazy::

Jerry Lynn: Congratulations...

::Super Crazy shakes Jerry Lynn's hand::

Jerry Lynn: I'm coming for that title.

::Lynn tapes on the IC Title on Crazy's shoulder before walking back out of the room::

::Justin Credible and Lance Storm are sitting in their locker room proudly watching their heinous assault on the cruiserweights earlier in the night. Justin Credible rewinds the tape and they start watching their work in slow motion. All of a sudden, Shane Helms and Shannon Moore burst through the door and attack the Impact Players with chairs of their own! Before leaving the fallen Storm and Credible, Shannon Moore knocks the TV set off its stand::

Chase Cassidy: What the hell was that all about!? Damn them! Damn Helms and Moore! What hooligans! What a vicious attack! They make me SICK!

Joey Styles: Well, well, well...it looks as if the Impact Players have just been the victims of some revenge. I can't say they didn't deserve it after what they did earlier tonight. Shannon Moore and Shane Helms weren't just going to sit back and take that from the Impact Players.

Chase Cassidy: Just wait...Moore and Helms will regret ever having anything to do with the Impact Players! The Impact Players won't let them get away with that, that's for sure. Now that my friends...is JUUUUST--

Joey Styles: UP NEXT is the Main Event...the finals of the ECW Title Tournament. This match will determine the ECW Champion, and Cyrus has just made it a Tables and Ladders Match! As you can see, the tables and ladders have been brought down to ringside for easy access...

::"Debonaire" by Dope blares through the loudspeakers and the fans boo like never before! The man-beast Rhino steps through the curtains. He pounds on his chest a little, then heads to the ring. He stares wickedly at the fans in the crowd. He hops onto the ring and apron and just stands there for awhile, ignoring all the boos, before getting in the ring. A small "Rhino sucks!" chant breaks out::

Joey Styles: The fans are all over Rhino tonight, and I can't say I blame them. Rhino doesn't even deserve to be here, Cyrus helped him win in the semi-finals!

Chase Cassidy: Rhino doesn't deserve to be here? If there's anyone who doesn't deserve to be here, it's Raven! What a pain he's been to Cyrus! Cyrus should just kick him out of the tournament and Rhino should win, he has the brass you know...he's with the Office!

Joey Styles: What has Raven done to Cyrus besides winning his matches against Cyrus' cronies!?

Chase Cassidy: Did you not see what Raven put in Cyrus' Office!?!? That thing was a VULTURE! That thing could have ripped Cyrus apart and eaten him for dinner!

Joey Styles: It was a raven Chase...and vultures are scavengers...

Chase Cassidy: *mumbling* I'll show you a scavenger.

::"Come Out And Play" by the Offspring hits the speakers and the fans erupt! Raven walks out onto the stage in his usual attire and gives the sign of the crucifix, receiving a deafening ovation::

Joey Styles: Oh my god! Can you believe this crowd? Raven is our most popular superstar, but this reaction is amazing!

Chase Cassidy: This just goes to show one thing...

Joey Styles: And what would that be?

Chase Cassidy: These fans are complete moron!!

::Raven takes off his leather jacket and unties his flannel shirt around his waist. He throws them down, then runs to the ring. The bell sounds as he slides in. Rhino immediately pounces on Raven, stomping him into the mat. Rhino bounces off the rope, then drives his knee down onto Raven's face full force. He blatantly chokes Raven, wrapping his fingers around his neck. The ref has to pull Rhino off Raven and Rhino isn't too pleased. Rhino chases the referee around the ring once which gives Raven time to get up. Rhino charges at Raven looking for the gore early in the match, but Raven side steps him. Rhino stops before he hits the turnbuckles. Raven bounces off the ropes and swings with a clothesline. Rhino ducks it and hooks Raven from behind. Rhino throws Raven back onto his head with a quick german suplex. Rhino shoots up to his feet and poses for the fans. When they boo him as expected, he yells at them as they do the same to him. Rhino turns around and watches Raven pull himself to his hands and knees using the ropes. Rhino laughs at him, then clubs him on the upper back, knocking him back to the canvas. He stomps on Raven a few more times, then rolls him over onto his back and props his head up against the bottom rope. Rhino runs across the ring, bounces off the opposite set of ropes, then runs back at Raven and drives his shin right into Raven's nose! Rhino drags Raven by his hair to the center of the ring and makes the cover...1...2...Raven gets the shoulder up! Rhino slides to the outside and pulls one of the tables off the stack of them. He sets it up close to the ring apron then slides back into the ring. Raven is waiting for him and whips him into the corner. Raven charges at Rhino, but Rhino moves out of the way. Raven goes through the turnbuckles and his right shoulder cracks against the steel ring post. Raven pulls himself out of the corner and Rhino immediately capitalizes by driving the point of his elbow right into Raven's right shoulder. Raven screams in pain as Rhino twists his arm around, trying to rip it out of its socket. Raven tries to mount a comeback by punching Rhino in the face with his left hand, but Rhino jabs his finger right into Raven's eye. Rhino wrenches Raven's arm again, then twists it behind his back. Rhino throws Raven over his head with a chickenwing suplex!::

Joey Styles: Oh my god! After all the punishment Raven's shoulder has taken already!

Chase Cassidy: What a smart move by Rhino! The man-beast is a thinking man's wrestler!

Joey Styles: Rhino threw Raven with that suplex, and Raven landed RIGHT on his hurting right shoulder!

::Rhino slides to the outside of the ring and pulls a table off the pile. He slides it into the ring and follows shortly after. Rhino kicks Raven hard in the right shoulder before he sets the table up in the ring, but he only opens the table halfway so it's at a slant. Raven gets to his feet and Rhino pushes him backwards into the ropes. Raven bounces off the ropes and Rhino goes for a spinebuster, but Raven blocks it. Rhino turns around and Raven bulldogs him right through the table! "E-C-DUB! E-C-DUB!" chants immediately break out! Neither man is moving much, and Raven is unable to capitalize. He clutches at his shoulder in agony as the ring crew removes the table pieces from the ring. Rhino is the first one to his feet. He grabs Raven's right arm and jerks it away from his body. Rhino bounces off the ropes and nails a legdrop onto Raven's arm. Rhino steps through the ropes to the outside and then brings a ladder back into the ring. He lays the ladder flat in the ring, then pulls Raven over to it. Rhino opens the ladder laying on the mat, shoves Raven's arm in it, then closes the ladder back up on Raven's arm. Rhino slowly climbs to the top turnbuckle and leaps off looking for a huge splash onto the ladder! Raven pulls his arm out of the ladder just before Rhino comes crashing down on it!::

Joey Styles: Raven escapes! Raven escapes!

Chase Cassidy: Yeah, he's lucky too. If Rhino would have splashed that ladder...who knows if Raven would ever be able to use that arm again!

::Raven grabs Rhino by the hair and takes him over to the corner. He jumps up to sit on the top turnbuckle and turns Rhino towards the ring. Raven rests his shin on the back of Rhino's head and jumps off the top rope. He drives Rhino down head first onto the steel ladder! Raven makes the cover...1....2...Rhino kicks out! Raven grabs a chair from ringside, opens it up, and sits it in the middle of the ring. He sits in it for a minute until Rhino starts to get up. Raven grabs the ladder and props on end up on the seat of the chair. Rhino runs at Raven who whips him into the ropes. Rhino comes back and Raven nails him with a drop toe hold! Rhino crashes down onto the propped up ladder and the chair collapses from the force. Raven makes the cover...1...2...Rhino kicks out again! Raven grabs the ladder and wedges it between to the top and middle turnbuckles. He pulls Rhino up by the hair and whips him into the corner. Rhino quickly reverses it and Raven's back crashes against the ladder! Rhino folds up the chair as Raven stumbles out of the corner. CRACK! Rhino nails Raven with a brutal chairshot, but Raven didn't fall! Rhino nails him with the chair again, but Raven is still standing! Rhino goes for a third chairshot, but Raven kicks him in the gut. He goes for the evenflow but Rhino pushes him away. Raven bounces off the ropes and runs back at Rhino who goes for a clothesline. Raven ducks the clothesline and drops Rhino to the mat with a neckbreaker!::

Joey Styles: Raven's been busted open, but he wouldn't go down even after taking those heavy chairshots! He manages to hit that neckbreaker!

::Raven grabs the ladder and turns around. Out of nowhere, Rhino gore the ladder ring into Raven's body!! He pins Raven...1...2...Raven kicks out and the fans pop!!! Rhino picks up the ladder and drives the top of it down onto Raven's shoulder several times. Rhino goes to the outside and sets up a table close to the ring apron. He grabs a ladder and sets it on top of the table, then he gets back onto the ring apron. Raven throws a punch at him, but Rhino blocks it. He clubs Raven in the shoulder, then pulls him through the ropes. Rhino lifts Raven up high in the air, then powerbombs him off the ring apron! Raven crashes down onto the ladder and the table collapses to the floor!!::

Joey Styles: OH MY GOD! Oh...my...god...

Chase Cassidy: Even for me...that was a little harsh...but this is for the ECW Title and Rhino has no compassion.

Joey Styles: Raven...Raven isn't moving folks. This match might be over...

::Rhino grabs yet another ladder. He props it up against the steel guardrails and watches Raven's motionless body with a smirk on his face. He pulls Raven to his feet and whips him into the ladder. Rhino grabs Raven by his hair and tries to bash his head into the ladder, but Raven blocks it. Raven nails a russian legsweep driving the back of Rhino's head into the ladder! Rhino tries to get away from Raven, but Raven grabs him by the hair. Rhino turns around and Raven clotheslines him to the concrete! Raven quickly grabs a table off the pile. He props it up between the edge of the ring apron and the top of the steel guardrails. Rhino slides back into the ring and Raven meets him there. Raven irish whips Rhino, but Rhino reverses it. Raven bounces off the ropes and Rhino nails him with a devastating spinebuster! Raven crawls to the ropes and uses them to get to his feet so Rhino can't pin him. Rhino charges at him, and Raven back body drops him over the top rope. Rhino crashes through the table that Raven set up!! Raven does the sign of the crucifix for the "E-C-DUB!" chanting fans. He goes to the outside of the ring and picks up a ladder. He props it up near Rhino, between the ring apron near the post, and the guardrails. Rhino gets to his knees and Raven helps him the rest of the way up. Raven whips Rhino down the way and Rhino gets clotheslined by the ladder!::

Joey Styles: That ladder almost took Rhino's head off!

::Raven rolls Rhino into the ring and pins him::

Chase Cassidy: ONE!

Joey Styles: TWO!

Chase Cassidy: NO! Rhino kicks out! RHINO KICKS OUT! It's amazing!

::Raven can't believe it. He pulls Rhino up and kicks him in the stomach, then piledrives him to the mat. 1...2...Rhino barely kicks out again! Raven slides to the outside and brings a table back into the ring with him. He props it up in the corner of the ring and turns his attention back to Rhino. He whips Rhino towards the table, but Rhino reels Raven in. Rhino hooks Raven and drives him through the table with a t-bone suplex!!::

Joey Styles: OH MY GOD!

Chase Cassidy: Who's going to win this!? It keeps going back and forth!

Joey Styles: I can't believe this match! Neither of them seem to be able to put the other away!

Chase Cassidy: Come on Rhino! Pin him!

Joey Styles: Neither man is moving...this match has taken so much out of both of them. I'd be surprised if Raven can even use his right shoulder anymore!

::Rhino manages to slowly pull Raven out of the corner. He makes the cover...1...2...NO! Raven kicks out!! Rhino starts to throw a fit in the ring. He grabs the referee by the collar of his shirt and shows him how to count to three. The ref sticks with his decision and Rhino pushes him away. Rhino turns around and Raven nails him with a chair! Raven bounces off the ropes and cracks the chair across Rhino's skull once again, finally knocking Rhino down. Raven puts the chair over Rhino's face, bounces off the ropes, and nails a legdrop driving the chair into Rhino's face::

Joey Styles: That HAS to be it Chase!

Chase Cassidy: No! It can't be!

Joey Styles: Raven makes the cover...ONE!

Chase Cassidy: TWO!

Joey Styles: THRE-- NO! NO! NO! This can't be happening!

Chase Cassidy: Cyrus has come to save the day!

Joey Styles: Cyrus just helped Rhino cheat! Cyrus put Rhino's foot on the ropes!

::Raven can't believe what just happen. He reaches through the ropes and grabs Cyrus by the hair, pulling him into the ring. Cyrus begs for mercy but Raven just laughs at him. Raven kicks Cyrus in the stomach and drops him with the EVENFLOW DDT!! Raven gives the sign of the crucifix. He turns around and Rhino goes for the GORE!! Raven moves out of the way! Rhino turns around and Raven nails him with the evenflow ddt on a chair!!::

Chase Cassidy: Someone, quick! Check on Cyrus!

Joey Styles: Raven with the EVENFLOW! ONE!

Chase Cassidy: ...two...

Joey Styles: THREE!

Chase Cassidy: NO! NO! NO! NO!

Joey Styles: YES! YES! YES!

::The fans go absolutely nuts! An "E-C-DUB!" chant rocks the building::

Joey Styles: Listen to that!

Chase Cassidy: No..no..no..no...this can't be happening...

Joey Styles: Raven has done it! He had to go through both Rhino AND Cyrus, but he's done it! Raven is our first ECW CHAMPION!!!!

::Cyrus and Rhino roll out of the ring and regroup, then head to the back::

Joey Styles: WOW! What a night! WHAT A NIGHT! ECW is back and better than ever!

Chase Cassidy: Better than ever? I'd hate to see what it was like before...

Joey Styles: Chase, stop pouting! Wait, what's this!?

::"THIS....IS EXTREEEEEEEEEEME!" The ECW theme song hits the speakers and Paul Heyman walks out onto the stage. "E-C-DUB! E-C-DUB!" chants break out yet again. Paul makes his way to the ring with the ECW Title in his hands. He climbs into the ring and stares at Raven. Raven remains expressionless in the ring, staring back at Heyman. Heyman extends his arms and presents Raven with the ECW Championship! Raven puts the belt on and does the sign of the crucifix with blood still dripping down his face. Heyman leaves and Raven's Flock members come out to congratulate him. Tommy Dreamer, Stevie Richards, and Francine celebrate in the ring to "E-C-DUB!" chants and the screen faces to black::

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